Was It Out of Pity?
by thoth-moon
Summary: Better by far that you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad. But sometimes the best of intentions have disastrous results. Yaoi. Angst, tort
1. Chapter I

I've noticed people sometimes don't like it when there are no warnings pertaining to the content of the story. I personally don't care too much for warnings, as I think they tone down surprises and such. But I'll try to find a happy medium. Here's your warning, perhaps the only one I'll offer you: parts of this story will be very vague at times, but don't worry, by the end I hope that everything will piece together quite nicely and make complete sense. Until then, I'll trust you to your own different theories and such. But now you can't say I didn't spare you a little warning.

**A/N: **July 23,2005--the date this story was published here. Almost two years. And as of today (**June 6, 2007**), it's _still not done. _You (those who have been reading it since that publication date, or close to there) are probably experiencing varying levels of aggravation toward me, at least time to time, eh? Sorry--but at least it's now _almost done_.

But first, and I can't believe it's taken me two years to do this, some minor things need to be changed. Don't worry! It's nothing too dramatic, just a few _minor _things, I promise. I'm condensing some chapters together, resulting in fewer, longer chapters, which I think may be a pleasant thing for newer readers or anyone who desires to reread this story at some point; and I'm revising some scenes to make the story flow better, which may be another pleasantry. The main theme of the story, however, remains as it has been and as I intended for it to be.

For those familiar with the former draft of this story, Chapter I of "re-WIOOP?" is made up of the first two chapters from the original WIOOP? I hope my re-wioop-ing project won't sour anyone's opinion of the story as a whole. I hope that when all is said and done, it will make it all the better.

* * *

**"Better by far that you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad." - Christina Rossetti**

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter I  
Edited: June 6, 2007

"… demons…."

Darkness. Faint noises, off in the distance. Silence again. He was alone, submerged in oblivion.

"… Kurama…."

Kurama. Yes, that was his name. He was Kurama. Was someone talking to him? About him? Who was that? Where were they? For that matter, where was he? He couldn't see anything. Everything around him was a shadow. He tried reaching out, tried to feel his surroundings. He couldn't move.

"… Shuichi…."

Shuichi. That was his name also. Shuichi Minamino. His alias in the Ningenkai. Attended Meiou Institute. Perfect student. Perfect son. All lies.

The voice. He recognized it. Shiori Hatanaka. The woman who had loved and raised him for eighteen years. Her voice faded away. "Mother," he tried, but no sound came out. He tried to move again, but failed. 'I'm paralyzed,' he thought.

There was a ringing in his ears, as though he were underwater. Though he couldn't be; he could still breathe. At least, he thought he could still breathe. He wasn't entirely sure.

He heard a muffled noise. Several voices mixed within each other, impossible to dissect any individual one from the mass. 'Where am I?' he wondered. 'Where am I that I cannot move, where I am blind and mute, and barely capable of hearing?'

An awful thought struck him; perhaps he had died. 'This cannot be!' he pleaded to no one. 'I would have remembered dying, wouldn't I?'

"… Kurama…."

His mother's voice again. In vain he uttered a soundless cry for help. 'How does _she_ know that name?' He had never told her about his true self. That was too harsh a reality, he would much rather let her continue to live in peace, in a blissful lie he himself had created. He would never bring himself to shatter that perfect world; it was so much better than the ugly truth. That much he could do for her.

"… Kurama…."

This voice he also recognized with no delay. Hiei. His former partner in crime, his fellow teammate, his friend… Beyond that point his feelings concerning the other demon grew uncertain.

For some time he was aware of these murky sounds which surrounded him. Most always they were extremely faint, far away, though at times he heard the voices of his mother and Hiei speak his name most clearly, as though directly in his ear. 'What is happening?' His mother did not know his demon name. Also, she and Hiei had never conversed together; she didn't even know who the Koorime was. This wasn't right.

Suddenly all of his senses grew much stronger. He was still lethargic and immobile, but his hearing returned to its normal sharpness, and he began to distinguish blurry images before him…

There was his mother, looking very distressed. Surrounding her were his friends: Yusuke Urameshi, Kazuma Kuwabara, and even Hiei. There was also Koenma, Prince of the Reikai, his paranormal employer. And Botan too, one of the ferry girls who brought the spirits of the departed across the River of Death. They were all visibly upset. Something was evidently wrong.

He now noticed tears running down Shiori's face. Something must have happened to him. But he would have remembered dying. Wouldn't he?

"Please tell me," she said to his friends. "Was Kurama—Shuichi—my son... was he conscious? Did he feel what happened…?"

* * *

Kurama woke, gasping for breath, soaked in a cold sweat. In a panic, he quickly examined his surroundings, and then himself. Yes, he was in his bed, in his room, completely intact. He sighed and looked at his clock. Nine a.m.; he had overslept.

Why did his hair feel greasy? He had taken a shower the night prior… hadn't he? Kurama tried to remember, and was bewildered when he realized he was unable to recall a single event from the night before. Or the day before. For that matter, what was today? He didn't know.

'This is strange,' he thought absently, heading downstairs. He wondered why he had slept so late. Kurama almost always rose with the sun.

His mother was sitting at the kitchen table. He quirked an eyebrow. She should be at work right now. Unless it was the weekend. "Good morning, Mother," he said pleasantly.

Shiori whipped her head around and stared at him. She rose from her seat, and the next thing Kurama knew, he was being crushed against his mother's body by her suffocating embrace. "Oh, Shuichi!" she exclaimed, hugging him even tighter. She stood back and beamed at him, though he noticed she appeared anxious at the same time. "Good morning," she continued. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," he replied, trying to regain his breath. She was certainly more affectionate than usual this morning.

"Are you sure?" she pressed, looking him over.

He smiled uncertainly and nodded. "Yes, I'm very sure. Why?"

She frowned and stared at him, her brow furrowed. Then she smiled again and squeezed his shoulder. "No reason," she said sweetly. "Would you like me to fix you something?"

"There's no need for you to trouble yourself. I don't need anything."

"You should have something to eat," she admonished. "It's not healthy to skip breakfast."

Kurama conceded, and allowed her to fix him some toast. "This is a strange question," he began, "but do you know what day it is?"

Again he received that strange stare. "It's Tuesday," she said after a few seconds.

"Oh." Shiori gave him a worried look. "I was just confused," he said hastily. "I thought you worked today."

"I am." She gestured to the table, half of which was covered with paperwork. "I've just decided to work from home for a while."

He almost choked on his toast. "What? Are you okay?" The last time she had worked form home was when she began to grow ill.

"Of course," she reassured. "I needed a break from the office, that's all."

"I see…" Shiori looked as healthy as ever, but he made a mental note to keep an eye on her all the same. "Shuichi is at school, I assume?"

"And Kazuya is at work."

Kurama widened his eyes. "I-I completely forgot! I was supposed to finish those revenue figures—"

"Shh…" His mother smoothed his hair soothingly. "Calm down. Don't worry about work today. Relax. You stress over your job too much, it can't be good for you."

He took a deep, relaxing breath, and nodded. Perhaps she was right. After all, he had even forgotten what day it was, and everything he had done the day before…

"Shuichi?" Shiori asked, concerned. "Is something the matter?"

His uncertainty must have shown. "No, nothing's wrong." He finished his toast. "I believe I'll take a walk, alright?"

"Um, okay." She flashed him a smile as she returned to her paperwork. "Don't overexert yourself, okay? If you begin to feel faint at all, come home."

"I will," he told her, confused by what she had said. A rather odd request to make. "Good-bye."

"Good-bye, Shuichi," Shiori called after him as he left.

Kurama shut the door behind him and walked down the street. The morning felt warm and fresh, and the air carried the clean scent of a recent rain mixed with the sweetness of grass roots and soil. He smiled. It was spring, the season of rebirth and new beginnings. A time brimming with inspiration and opportunity.

Despite the serene atmosphere however, Kurama could not help feeling slightly disturbed. Last night his sleep had been filled with many strange dreams. All were slightly varied, but all carried the same meaning.

Why had he dreamt about his friends telling his mother he was a demon?

* * *

'When did the Sakura blossom?' Kurama wondered. He was walking by a park, where people had flocked by the dozens to admire the trees' seasonal flora. The redhead stared at the pale pink and rarer white flowers and frowned. The last he remembered, the trees had been bare branches with tiny buds. How had he missed their blooming?

He continued walking, a little disappointed now, while he tried to recall what he had done yesterday. Perhaps he should ask his mother? He quickly dismissed that idea. This was a minor problem, nothing to cause her worry over.

His stomach growled. 'Should have had more than just toast,' he though. An idea struck him: Perhaps he saw Yusuke yesterday. Maybe he knew what Kurama did. He could solve two problems at once.

Yusuke was behind the counter when Kurama arrived at the ramen shop. His face was contorted in uncharacteristic concentration, his hand clenching a fly swatter, his gaze fixed on the instrument's destined victim. The fly moved; Yusuke pounced. "All right!" he exclaimed, examining the guts now spattered on the swatter. "Gotcha, you winged bastard!"

An evil thought went through Kurama's head. "Health inspector," he said in a deep, gruff voice.

"_What!"_ Yusuke spun around, swatter concealed behind him, a guilty, apprehensive look on his face. He saw no menacing man in a business suit, though; the only person in the shop besides him was Kurama, wearing a smug little smile and looking quite amused. For a moment all he could do was stand there, and then he began sputtering. The only audible phrase Kurama caught was, "Not funny, Fox-boy!" and then something containing "sadist." He smiled and donned an expression of sheer innocence.

"A sadist? Me? Surely, you must be mistaken. I was simply giving you a friendly warning, as I'm fairly sure that particular pastime is viewed as unacceptable in an eating establishment." He gave Yusuke a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat's and took a seat at the counter.

"Friendly warning my ass," Yusuke grumbled. "Almost scared the shit out of me is what you did." He glared at his red-haired friend, then raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes, as though having just realized something. "Whoa! Kurama!"

The other boy looked up from the menu he had been debating. "Yes? What?"

"Nothing, except… it's you…" Yusuke trailed off.

Kurama arched a brow. "Of course," he said, giving his friend a strange look. "Who else would I be?"

"No one, but…" Yusuke shrugged, smiling. Rather uneasily, Kurama noted. "Never mind," he said. "So, um, what brings you here?"

"I didn't have enough breakfast. And so I thought I'd show my support by offering you my patronage."

"Uh-huh." Yusuke wondered if Kurama read from the dictionary every night before going to bed. "And, uh, how do you feel?" he asked carefully.

He furrowed his brow. "Other than hunger, I feel fine." 'It would appear that everything concerning today is odd.'

Yusuke blinked and looked as though he hadn't expected that answer. "Really?"

"Yes," he replied uncertainly. Yusuke was staring at him in a very peculiar fashion. "What?"

He continued to stare at him for a few moments, than looked away. "Nothing," he muttered. "Never mind." Yusuke suddenly seemed very fascinated by something in the kitchen. "Um, how 'bout some noodles?" he asked quickly. "On the house."

"I can pay," Kurama protested. "It's no problem—"

"Nonsense!" Yusuke cut him off, talking in a loud voice. "What good's having your own restaurant if you can't give a friend a free meal once in awhile? I'll go get that now; be back in a few minutes, 'kay?" Before Kurama could argue, Yusuke had already vanished.

'It's as though he were running away from me.' How did he feel? Had he been sick? Yes, that would account for some of his mother's unusual behavior that morning…

"_Ouch! Damn it!" _Kurama gave a small smile and shook his head while he listened to Yusuke battle the kitchen. There was a steady stream of crockery clanging and Yusuke swearing for several minutes, and then he reappeared with the noodles.

"Is everything all right in there?" he asked upon receiving the food.

"What? Yeah; I'm just about ready to torch the damn kitchen though."

"You don't usually act like this while working, do you?"

Kurama received a puzzled look. "What do you mean?" asked Yusuke.

"For one thing, do you often make death threats against the kitchen appliances? They're inanimate, Yusuke. It has no affect on them. There is no benefit from it."

"It makes me feel better…" Yusuke replied indignantly.

"Though I'll wager it doesn't help charm the customers." Kurama did a visual scan of the room. "It's rather vacant in here," he observed.

"Yeah, well," Yusuke shrugged again. "You're the first person to come by today."

'That's no good,' Kurama thought. Something came to his attention. "Where's Keiko?" he inquired.

"She went to see if there was anything she could do at her parents' place. It's not as though I can't handle this place myself." He gestured about the empty shop. "Things are so slow here it's practically a standstill."

"It wouldn't be if you would act more professional," Kurama insisted.

"Yeah," Yusuke muttered, though he obviously was not paying attention.

"I'm serious, Yusuke. This is a workplace. You may be your own boss, but if you really want to make it, you can't behave like you do during your leisure time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked defensively.

"I mean you can't act like you did when you were in school. Goofing around, slacking off, and threatening to bash someone's face in will not help you here."

Yusuke made a dismissive motion with is hand. "I've done just fine so far."

"Things change, Yusuke," Kurama emphasized. "You no longer work solely as a Tantei. Times change; jobs change; people change. You have to be flexible to change with them. Someone who tolerated your actions when you were younger may not be so forgiving where business is taken into consideration."

His friend appeared to be contemplating over what he had said. "So what you're saying," he began, "is that I have to be 'flexible'—by straightening up and acting more proper?" He gave Kurama a dubious look.

"I know that sounds rather like an oxymoron. But in a sense, yes, that's what I'm saying."

"Who's a moron?" Yusuke asked innocently. Kurama stared, horrified. "Hey, lighten up! I'm kidding!" Kurama continued to stare. "Okay Fox-boy, you can quit it now. Don't worry; I'll keep what you said in mind. Seriously!" he reassured.

Kurama blinked. "I hope so," he muttered. Yusuke shrugged, and then resumed his fly-hunting. He sighed and began to eat. It was doubtful as to if what he had said had actually penetrated his friend's thick skull.

"Score!" Yusuke cried. Kurama shook his head and selected a portion of newspaper off the table. He found himself absently staring over the classifieds when he looked up at the heading and noticed the date. He uttered a soft gasp and dropped his chopsticks.

Yusuke noticed immediately. "What's wrong?" he asked quickly, in a concerned tone most unlike him.

He looked at Yusuke without actually seeing him. "Yusuke, was I with you at all yesterday?"

"Um…." He shifted on his feet. "No," he said in a low voice. "Why?"

"I know it's peculiar, but I don't remember what I did yesterday." He looked down at the paper, his expression growing uneasy. "Or the past month, so it would seem." He gave Yusuke an attempted smile, but failed. "When did it become April, Yusuke?"

He looked so confused; it didn't suit him. "Um, when March ended," he answered, trying to be humorous.

Kurama had a vacant expression on his face. "I-I don't remember anything," he said helplessly. "Not a single thing."

"Uh, yeah." Yusuke toyed with the napkin holder. "So, um, what's the last thing you _do_ remember?"

"I remember…." Several moments passed, and Kurama heaved a frustrated sigh. "Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "Everything's a blank."

"So, you don't remember a thing before today?"

"No, not like that. I still know who I am and everything; it's not complete amnesia."

"Right. And, uh, what do you remember from before this … blank?"

He thought for a moment. "I'm not sure. It's all fuzzy."

"Okay," Yusuke said slowly. He leaned against the back counter and stared at his friend.

'He's looking at me the same way Mother did this morning.' Kurama felt strange. Not remembering one day was one affair, but an entire month…? Suddenly he laughed.

"What?" Yusuke asked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about a dream I had."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "You, Kuwabara, Hiei, Koenma, and Botan—you all told my mother about me. Strange, right?"

No reply. Kurama furrowed his brow and looked up. Yusuke was gazing at him unusually. He froze. "Y-Yusuke?" he stammered. Surely they hadn't…?

Yusuke blinked. "What? Kurama, you don't actually think we'd tell her? That's your business." He cracked a knowing smile. "Hey, here's a piece of advice you should listen to. Relax."

Kurama pursed his lips, and then shrugged. "Maybe you're right." He had been feeling rather stressed over work—that is, assuming he remembered correctly. And he recalled reading an article once about the effects stress could have on a person, including their dreams. Perhaps that could account for the memory loss also….

The phone rang. Yusuke stayed put, fiddling with a dead piece of skin on his finger. "It won't answer itself, Yusuke," Kurama said softly.

"Fine," he grumbled. He snatched it off its cradle. "Yeah, what do you want?"

'His head must be made of stone,' Kurama thought. It appeared that none of his advice had sunk in. He heaved a sigh and stared into his bowl.

What had before been mild confusion had, with a mere glance at a newspaper, metamorphosed into a great concern. An entire month of his life had gone, and he held no memory of it. What had he done during that time he could not recall? And, better question yet, why was he unable to remember?


	2. Chapter II

A/N: Concerning my re-wioop-ing project: Chapter II of "re-WIOOP?" consists of Chapters III-IV of the original WIOOP?

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter II  
Edited: June 6, 2007

'Why do I continue to come here?' he wondered. 'I hate this place.'

However, in spite of this undeniable fact, he as of late found himself taking brief leave of his position to visit this world he so loathed, this world of disgusting humans, this Ningenkai. Strange; when he was forced to reside here before he had vowed that should he ever return home, never again would he delve into this pathetic realm. Though his job included guarding the border between the Makai and the Ningenkai, then he only had to linger about the very edge of the latter. Now, he found himself in the middle of the same city he had been imprisoned in before, when he was still forced to do Koenma's bidding.

He came to rest at the top of a telephone pole. In his current squatting position, he bore a striking resemblance to the crows of which were perched upon the various cables that ran from one pole to the next. For some reason, his presence did not disturb them.

Surveying the scenery below him, he caught a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. He turned, and raised an eyebrow at what he saw.

Kurama. The Fox was coming out of a small building. Some sort of restaurant, he assumed, judging from its appearance. Now he was walking down the street.

A strange feeling came over him. He desired to go after the redhead. To see him, talk to him. Odd. Out of the two, Kurama was normally the one who pursued him. Why, he was not quite sure.

By now he had turned a corner, no longer visible to him. He made up his mind, and went after him. But it seemed that he had vanished.

Eventually, after some searching, Kurama resurfaced. He found him in the park amidst the blooming Sakura, sitting on a bench beneath one of the great trees. He was stretched out, sprawled back, his eyes closed—he appeared to be completely oblivious to the world around him. He wondered if he had fallen asleep. Or perhaps he had lost himself in the sweet perfume of the cherry blossoms. Kurama had always struck him to be one to take such delight in so simple of pleasures.

A warm breeze caressed Kurama, lifting his hair and playing with it. He gave a soft sigh, feeling content. True, he was greatly troubled by his inability to conjure a single memory from the month past; but this gentle wind acted as a force of sympathy, bringing him comfort on unseen wings. It was hard to remain so ill at ease when surrounded by such a peaceful environment.

Something brushed against his face, but it was not the soft, silky feel of a stray Sakura petal caught in the breeze. This felt coarse and heavy, like a thick fabric. He opened his eyes and looked up. "Hiei?" he murmured, wondering if he was seeing things. Maybe he had gone to sleep, and this was all a dream.

Hiei stared down at him, feeling the urge to smile. Kurama was gazing up at him, a confused look on his face, his bright emerald eyes full of question. It was an expression that one may see upon his face perhaps once in a blue moon, if even that often. For some reason, it was rather cute.

However, 'cute' wasn't Hiei's cup of tea. And neither was smiling. Therefore, his lips remained in their fixed formation, Hiei's customary frown.

"No, Kurama. Your mind has gone the way of the worthless humans. I am merely a hallucination, the best thought your brain could generate still, considering how it's turned to sludge."

To his surprise and confusion, Kurama laughed at the insult. "Hiei, I believe you're not so far from the truth", he declared. "I agree; my brain has become sludge."

"Hn?" While many people—in the Ningenkai especially—superficially coveted their own beauty, Kurama took great pride in his superb intelligence. It was unwise to insult it. Yet here he was, agreeing with Hiei that his intellect was obsolete.

"Surely my brainpower has decreased considerably," the Fox continued. "It's become so mediocre that it can't do a simple task such as remembering what it is I've done for a month." He laughed giddily. "Can you believe it, Hiei? An entire month! I may as well have no brain, if I can't even retain the faintest trace of a memory."

His good mood was evidently exaggerated. Kurama had lost his memories of last month; that would explain why Hiei did not find the situation he had expected. "Hn." He looked around them. "This isn't in your neighborhood," he commented. "Not even in the same area of town."

Kurama gave a dry, hollow sort of laugh. Hiei appeared unconcerned about his dilemma. Then again, why should he? It was not as though he were the one troubled by memory loss. "I felt the need to get out," he replied. "Feel the wind, see the Sakura." He absently looked up at the flowered canopy above them. "I had originally hoped to clear my mind and answer a few questions. But I suppose that backfired. Now I'm left with even more questions that I have no answers to."

After this admission, Kurama grew quiet. He appeared to be lost within his own musings. Hiei also remained silent, not wishing to break the other's train of thought. Inside, he almost feared to do so. Seeing the way Kurama had acted mere minutes ago… He would not be surprised if the Fox snapped.

"I suppose today hasn't been a total waste," he said after a while. "At least I got to smell the flowers." He looked over and gave him a small smile. "Don't they smell pleasant?"

In truth, Hiei preferred the scent emitted by the rose- though he was not about to voice that thought. He shrugged his shoulders instead. "If that sort of thing appeals to you," he muttered.

Kurama had expected such a response. Hiei was not one to spill his thoughts and feelings over such affairs. "What about you, Hiei?" he asked. "This park isn't exactly in your neighborhood either. Or your world, for that matter." He looked Hiei up and down. "And it would seem you've shed your uniform and chosen to don the past instead."

The redhead was correct. Hiei was in fact wearing the same black cloak he always did prior to becoming Mukuro's second-in-command, and thus receiving a job that included a slightly more colorful, elaborate wardrobe. He did enjoy his job—it was better than nothing at least—but it did grow tiresome indeed. There were times that he felt there was no other option than to put on his old class and take off for a while. No job; no orders; no cares. Just him, a solitary figure, at one with the lonely wilderness, without a single conscious thought in his head. Perhaps, without ever meaning it, this had become one of his getaway times.

"I don't work all the time, Kurama," was all he said.

"Of course," Kurama replied. "I doubt there is anyone who devotes the entirety of their time to work. And if I am wrong, and there is such a person, then surely that must be a dull way to live." He examined the park, noting how it appeared rather deserted when compared to earlier. Much time had passed since he had left that morning. Judging from the sky, it was already late afternoon. Everything that resided within the sun's grasp was given a reddish-gold hue that grew darker as the daylight faded. "I should return home," he told Hiei. "I've been away for a while, and Mother was acting odd as it was this morning."

'His mother,' Hiei thought. 'No surprise there.' "Yes, do what you will then."

He nodded. "Then I suppose I'll be off." He rose from the bench and stretched. "Thank you for listening to me, Hiei, even if that wasn't your intention." Hiei rolled his eyes, making Kurama smile. "I enjoyed seeing you again, Hiei. It's been too long."

"Hn."

His smile faded a little. "Yes, well," he shrugged his shoulders. "Good-bye." He began to walk away.

"Good-bye," Hiei echoed, though he remained where he stood. Then, a moment later, he spoke again. "Kurama?"

Hearing his name, he stopped and turned around. Hiei was staring at him, an intense look in those large garnets that were his eyes. "Yes?"

Hiei continued staring wordlessly at him for a minute or so. "I'll be nearby," he finally said, "should you feel the need to have someone listen to you again."

Kurama nodded, feeling strange suddenly. "Thank you, Hiei. I'll keep that in mind."

He received a curt nod, and then Hiei disappeared in a dark blur. The Fox stared at the spot where Hiei had stood, then pointed his toes toward home.

A few blocks away from his house, Kurama suddenly smiled. Hiei's words were still fresh in his mind. Perhaps, despite all the confusion, something good had come out of the day.

* * *

"Shuichi, I'll need those figures by next week."

"I'll have them done by then," Kurama promised.

"Good. I'll see you tonight."

"Good luck with your meeting, Kazuya." Kurama gathered his papers into his briefcase, bade farewell to his step-father, and left the office. Today had been such nice weather—foreshadowing the coming spring—that he had opted to walk.

He passed a park on his way, full of bare Sakura trees. Upon further examination, he noticed the branches were adorned with little buds. Kurama smiled, looking forward to seeing them bloom into the lovely flowers they would be within a month's time.

He arrived home and greeted his mother and step-brother. After socializing with the two for a while, he retreated upstairs to work on the figures. A half-hour later, Shuichi informed him he had visitors. Kurama abandoned his paperwork for the time being and admitted his guests.

Yusuke and Kuwabara came in. "We've got problems," Yusuke declared before Kurama could even say hello.

The Fox gave a sly smile. "I'll say you do," he joked. "Where shall we begin?"

"I'm not kidding," Yusuke said exasperatedly. Kurama quirked an eyebrow.

"What is it?" he asked in a more serious tone.

His friend heaved a sigh. "Botan came by earlier."

"Yes?" He examined the expressions on the two's faces. They normally did not look so melancholy.

"She told us that Koenma wants to see the three of us in his office as soon as possible."

Kurama furrowed his brow. "Why?" He had hoped that, with the establishment of a new government in the Makai, the Reikai Tantei would no longer be necessary. He remembered the decision he had made during the Makai Tournament he was forced to participate in. After it was all over, he had looked forward to a relatively peaceful life as a citizen of the Ningenkai, with his family. Immediately, he was wary of anything that might jeopardize that dream.

"We don't know all the details," Kuwabara told him. "I guess Koenma will fill us in when we see him."

"What do we know?" he asked.

"From what Botan said," Yusuke continued, "Hiei's in trouble."

"What?" They were being sent to Hiei's aid? The entire time Kurama had known him, Hiei had been very capable of fending for himself. Or, in the very least, he had never been in so serious of trouble that it required action such as this mission. Hiei's predicament must be major, if Koenma was calling the three of them in. "Are you sure?"

Yusuke felt a small victory won. He knew Kurama would not be anxious to resume Reikai Tantei business. Yet at the mention of Hiei, Kurama's morale had noticeably shifted. He and Kuwabara had suspected as much. They both knew he was close to Hiei, and would not hesitate to help him were he in trouble. "I wouldn't lie about something like this, Kurama," he said sincerely. "That's what Botan told us."

Their friend was silent, apparently deep in thought. Finally he looked up at them. "Well then," he said in a soft, resigned voice. "When shall we leave?"

"Um, we'll meet you outside," Yusuke suggested. Kurama nodded. His companions left the room.

He rose, straightened up his papers, and stowed them safely into his briefcase. He fetched his shoes and went downstairs, debating what he should say to his mother to explain his absence.

* * *

The Fox woke with a start. He took a few deep breaths, and slid out of bed. He turned on the lamp and checked his clock. Midnight. Kurama groaned; he had been asleep for only two hours. It seemed much longer than that.

That dream…. He remembered receiving a job assignment from Kazuya the month before. He was to figure the company's revenue. The revenue that, until that morning, he had forgotten. After coming home that evening, he checked his briefcase. The paperwork was there, only partially completed. Kurama had apologized to Kazuya over and over about the figures being incomplete and a month late. Kazuya simply brushed his worries aside, and informed him that someone else dealt with the revenue. He knew his step-father was trying to console him, but it still made him feel rather worthless. That had been his assignment; he did not want others doing what he was supposed to.

He understood, sort of. All day he had been disturbed because he could not remember. Tonight he had dreamt of the last solid memory he had before the month-long blank. Well, the first part of the dream he knew had been true. He did not know if the part with Yusuke and Kuwabara, and the reference to a mission, was real or not.

Feeling anxious, he began to pace about his room. He was too distracted to sleep. He heaved a sigh and went downstairs.

Everyone was asleep; the house was dark and quiet. Kurama went into the kitchen. The ceramic tiles made his feet cold. He raided the refrigerator and made a sandwich.

While he wolfed down the sandwich and a glass of milk, he contemplated his restless night. His inability to remember troubled him a lot. He had to work tomorrow, though. Kazuya told him he could take a few days off if he wished, but Kurama declined. Somebody else already cleaned up his revenue mess; he wanted no more special treatment.

Kurama finished his snack and returned upstairs. He rummaged in the bathroom medicine cabinet until he found a bottle of sleeping tablets. He wanted to work efficiently tomorrow; and to do so, he could not stay up half the night due to vivid dreams.

He returned to his room with the tablets and water. After checking to make sure his alarm was set, he downed the medicine, turned off the lamp, and crawled into bed.

The sound of thunder rumbling could be heard outside, accompanied by the tattoo of rain hitting the earth. He smiled. One of those frequent spring storms had come. Rain. He loved everything about it.

He uttered a soft sigh and curled up in the bedding. Perhaps the next time he saw Yusuke or Kuwabara he could validate whether the dream's second portion was true.

Outside, the wind began to howl, ravaging heavy fabric and soft spikes. Lightning flashed, illuminating a dark, red-eyed figure crouching on a tree branch outside Kurama's window, staring inside. Lightning flashed again, and the tree's occupant had disappeared.


	3. Chapter III

A/N: Concerning my re-wioop-ing project: Chapter III of "re-WIOOP?" consists of Chapters V-VI.

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter III  
Edited: June 6, 2007

"No offense, Urameshi," Kuwabara muttered, "but this place is like a ghost town."

"Shut up," Yusuke said, his tone threatening.

"I'm serious, man." He sat back and examined the empty room, chewing his ramen thoughtfully. "I'm surprised you and Keiko haven't gone bankrupt yet."

"Just barely," Keiko said. "Of course, it'd help if Yusuke would stop acting so immature while he worked."

"What!" Yusuke exclaimed. "Geez, Keiko. You're starting to sound like Kurama."

He received four puzzled stares. "What?" Botan asked.

Yusuke blinked. "Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you. Um, Kurama came by a few days ago."

He did?" Kuwabara asked. He nodded. "How was he?"

"Oh, he was perfectly fine," he replied. "Except he was telling me how he doesn't remember a thing that happened last month." He was quiet for a minute. "When he wasn't telling me that if I grew up I'd have more customers, that is."

"Um… I think he might be right there."

"Shut up, Kuwabara!" Yusuke grabbed the nearest object he could find and chucked it at the carrot-top.

"_Ew!!! _There's fly guts on that!"

"That's what you get for insulting me!"

"Hey, Kurama said it; I was just agreeing!"

"Are you sure that he doesn't remember?" Yukina inquired.

Yusuke abandoned his task of clobbering Kuwabara and turned toward her. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure," he replied. "Just to check though, I asked him to try to remember." He shrugged. "But nothing happened. He called it a blank. He was kind of upset that he couldn't remember, too."

Keiko stared at him. "Yusuke, what would you have done if Kurama did remember?"

The confident look left Yusuke's face. "I, um…" he trailed off. "Shit, I didn't think about that."

Somebody mumbled, "Moron."

"I heard that!" he shouted angrily. He lunged for Kuwabara, who immediately took flight. The chase pursued around the empty shop for several minutes, until they hit a portion of the floor made wet by spring rain. Both boys went flying in random directions.

"Ouch…" Yusuke groaned from where he now lay in a sprawled heap. He craned his head around to survey the site upon which he had landed. "Ouch…" he said again.

He was just outside the ramen shop's entrance. Sitting up a little, he now noticed that the door to the building was hanging off one hinge- presumably because he had just somewhat gone through it- and that the door's window lacked any glass. 'That would explain why the floor was wet inside,' he thought, observing a fresh cut on his hand. He sat straight up and looked around, seeing that the portion of sidewalk in front of the door was littered with glittery shards of glass. Yusuke discovered that his other hand and both arms also bore cuts now. "Keiko, the door's broken," he whined. "And I think I might need a tetanus shot."

"Idiot."

"Huh?" Yusuke leaned back and came to rest against a pair of legs. He looked up. A dark shadow stood over him, silhouetted by the midday sun. Shielding his eyes with one hand, the sun's glare disappeared and the person's features began to materialize. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

Hiei just looked at him, the expression on his face a mixture of disdain and partial amusement. Yusuke noted that today Hiei was wearing his official dress: an outfit composed of primarily royal purple accented by black and a dark wine color. He was still not used to seeing him dressed this way; it looked odd on him. That was, assuming Hiei ever appeared normal.

A woman walked past, throwing a strange look at the two. "What are you staring at?" Yusuke yelled after her, but immediately after he took stock of his current situation and realized why they must be a spectacle. There was Hiei's appearance, naturally, combined with the fact that Yusuke currently had his head pressed against Hiei's crotch. He gave an involuntary shudder. "Hey, it's not like that!" he shouted frantically, though the woman was now out of earshot. "We're not—"

He saw a shadowy blur, and Hiei now stood in front of him. Now lacking any back support, Yusuke fell back to lie flat on the pavement. "Ouch," he said, though it had not hurt. He rose to his feet and brushed himself off.

Hiei examined the broken door, the spot where Yusuke had landed, and then stared at Yusuke himself. "Idiot," he said again. "Perhaps when this eatery of yours fails and you have no place to go, I'll suggest Mukuro create a position for fool. I believe you'd fill it with no trouble at all."

"Hey, this place is not gonna fail!" Yusuke retorted. "And if I'm such an idiot, why'd you come see me?"

"Believe me, it was not by choice," Hiei said coolly, following Yusuke inside the restaurant.

"Hello, Hiei," Yukina said sweetly.

He looked at her. She was standing by the counter, wearing a western-style sundress in some shade of blue, giving him a warm, beaming smile that could light up the entire city. Yukina, his twin sister—sweet, pure, innocent, perfect in every way. His complete opposite. For that reason alone, Hiei was thankful she did not know he was her brother.

Something that vaguely resembled a smile flickered across Hiei's face. He nodded to her. "Hello, Yukina."

"So, Hiei," Yusuke ventured. "If you're not here by choice, why are you here?" A noxious scowl was thrown his way.

"Um … Yukina? Keiko? A little help?" Everyone's gaze shifted to the corner. Kuwabara was attempting to stay balanced on only one foot, his other one caught in the framework of a chair back.

Hiei's expression grew even surlier, but a sideways glance at Yukina made him bite his tongue. "Hn. I came here because Mukuro sent me. I'm obligated to follow any order she issues if I want to maintain my status. That, Detective, is why I'm here."

"Oh." Yusuke supposed the Koorime's explanation made sense, given his current apparel. "What did Mukuro send you for?"

Hiei narrowed his eyes, annoyed by the excess in idiotic questions. Yusuke acted as though Hiei were not about to explain his presence. "I was ordered to bring these," he held up a wrapped package, "to you and the—" He looked at Yukina again. "—Kuwabara," he finished.

"Yeah?" Yusuke took the package and looked inside it. He raised his eyebrows and stared at Hiei. His gaze came to rest on the demon's chest, now noticing how his uniform was adorned with various metallic objects.

Hiei caught Yusuke staring and shifted slightly, the ceiling lights reflecting off his decorations. "Her expression of gratitude, I suppose."

"I see." Yusuke laid the package down on the table. "Why don't you have one like ours?" He received no reply. Yusuke thought for a moment, and a sly smile found its way on his face. "Oh … I see now. She expressed her gratitude to you in another way, huh?"

"Excuse me?" Hiei snapped frigidly. Yusuke recoiled. "I'm finished here." Hiei turned and made for the door.

"Yusuke said Kurama was here a few days ago," Yukina called after him.

He paused at the doorway. "Yes," he said quietly. "I know. I've spoken with him."

He doesn't remember—" Yusuke began.

"I know," Hiei interrupted. "He told me."

"I think that he's kind of upset about it."

Hiei shrugged. "So be it." He stepped outside, and moments later vanished from sight.

Yukina stared outside. "Do you think he'll come around anymore?"

"Who knows?" Kuwabara answered, having freed himself from the chair. "I doubt it. He hates it here. I don't think he'll come back if he doesn't have to."

"Oh," she said, disappointed. Hiei was so nice a person; she would miss seeing him.

Keiko noticed several small, dark stains on the package. "What are those?"

"Huh?" Yusuke looked where she was pointing. "Oh." He held up a hand. "The glass on the door's busted. I guess that's how the rain got in."

"Um, no offense, Urameshi," Kuwabara began, looking at the door. "But you're kind of a klutz."

"At least I didn't get my foot stuck in a chair!" Yusuke retorted as he left in search of a broom.

* * *

Kurama stared at the computer screen, his eyes seeing the words and graphics but his mind comprehending none of it. He heaved a sigh and leaned back in his chair, massaging his brow while he glanced about the office—bland, unadorned dull bluish walls; gray carpeting; a large office window overlooking the street below; cream-colored filing cabinets; an artificial potted plant. Altogether, it did not provide an incredibly stimulating work environment.

But he was blaming the room's decorator for his own problems. For the past several weeks Kurama had been feeling horribly distracted and often stayed late at the office attempting to catch up on work he did not complete during the day. Afterward, he would go home, grab something to eat, and go to bed. Kurama had not done anything leisurely or recreational for some time.

Only recently had it occurred to him that, at some point, he had been unknowingly chained down to a corporate hell. The entire situation was rather depressing; Kurama felt he was falling victim to a rapidly growing nostalgia for something he felt he could not obtain. The only problem was that he did not even know for sure what it was he missed. Simpler times, perhaps?

Then again, Kurama doubted he ever truly had experienced such a thing. His entire life, he had never been without some sort of weight to carry. First, he had intended to regain his strength and return to the Makai. Then, his aspiration switched to pleasing his mother, to make her proud, and to save her when she became ill. And after that, to work to maintain both his life as Shuichi Minamino and his job as a Reikai Tantei. Though it would appear that, even if he was now without any obligations to either the Reikai or Makai, his burden had not lessened as much as he would have thought.

Finally, the time came for Kurama to leave the office. It was already dark; there would be nowhere to go now but straight home. He sat behind the wheel and held his head in his hands. He had been hoping that perhaps today he would have the time to visit with his friends. Every day, he hoped he may have the time; every day, his schedule proved too tight to allow such activities.

By now, Kurama had fallen into a dark mood. He discarded his tie and jacket and tossed them into the back seat. 'The adventure of Ningen life,' he though sarcastically while he drove.

Thus ended another day. Tomorrow, Kurama would wake and start yet another. Each day had come to vary little. Life, his at least, had apparently become a repetitive cycle with little excitement.

* * *

Hiei sat kicked back in his chair, observing the prisoner and interrogator on the other side of the glass. The interrogation, he observed, was not progressing well; however, he had expected as such. The demon questioning the prisoner was, it seemed, very new and had no clue what to do. Even if he had, he still would not have succeeded much. This particular prisoner….

He found himself staring at him. His ears heard none of the pathetic conversation the interrogator tried to strike; his eyes did not see the prisoner's features, save the lips that only moved to curl into a smug, superior smirk; his mind generated no conscious thoughts. Hiei still felt emotion though, even if the sight of the prisoner inspired only one; a bitter, pure, raw hatred that overpowered all of his other senses. Hatred so strong- more so than any he had ever felt with the exception of perhaps one other occasion- that it made him want to explode, to set off in a sequence of destructive fury, to obliterate everything surrounding him, and then maybe himself in addition. Such hatred that it was almost too much for even Hiei to handle.

Unable to deal with it any longer, Hiei rose and stormed out of the room. If he stayed, he might very well give in to the intense negativity he was experiencing.

Mukuro saw her heir stalking down the hall, looking as though he could blow up the three worlds. "Bad day?" she asked, suspecting she knew where he had been.

Hiei shrugged, pretending to be indifferent. "Just another day," he muttered, not even glancing at her as he passed.


	4. Chapter IV

A/N: Concerning my re-wioop-ing project: Aside from the change in chapter number, this one was actually left untouched! Consequently, it's shorter than Chapter III and Chapter V, but it didn't fit in right with either of them, so oh well. This was Chapter VII of the original WIOOP?

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter IV  
Edited: June 6, 2007

Yusuke stalked down the street, a sour expression on his face. Rejected, again. This was his third rejection this week. He didn't understand; why did nobody want to hire him? Could it be that Kurama was right? Was his behavior some sort of job-repellant?

Keiko most likely wouldn't receive this news very well. She couldn't understand why he was having such trouble locating employment; after all, she'd managed to land a job as a waitress in a restaurant downtown. Then again, she'd always been the one with the more appealing personality, and they both knew it.

He stepped out into the street, and cringed when he heard the squeal of car tires. 'Oh, this is terrific,' he thought sarcastically. The last thing he needed today was a trip to the emergency room.

"Yusuke, what on Earth are you doing?"

He opened his eyes. "Huh?" Before him was a beaten-up, boxy-shaped car of an off-copper hue, piloted by a familiar redhead. "Hey, Fox-boy," he called wearily. "It's been awhile, huh?"

A line of cars had developed behind Kurama's; several drivers were now shouting and honking their horns. The Fox leaned over and opened the passenger door. "Get in," he said.

Yusuke complied, and Kurama continued driving. "Can't you afford something better than this?" he asked, examining the car's interior. The seats were brownish-burgundy, wires protruding from the upholstery here and there. The fabric of the ceiling was a burnt reddish orange-brown color; portions of the material hung down, like the ceiling of a tent might, and parts were torn and tattered. It wasn't something Yusuke would imagine Kurama owning.

"I can," Kurama answered. "But I like this car. New isn't necessarily better, Yusuke. This is a lot sturdier than many of the newer models. Besides, I feel it's quite comfortable." Yusuke had to admit, the car did feel rather roomy. "I drove by your shop this morning. It looked like it was closed."

"Oh, yeah. I guess it really has been while since we've talked, huh?" He sighed. "Keiko and I decided that since business wasn't exactly booming, we're closing shop awhile and finding work elsewhere."

"I'm sorry," Kurama said. However, he couldn't claim that he was completely surprised.

"Eh." Yusuke shrugged. "Things could be a lot worse." He looked Kurama over. "How's it going for you?"

Kurama's mouth pursed into a tight-lipped frown, and he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know," he said.

"You look tired." Kurama shrugged again.

"Where are you working now?" the Fox asked, changing the subject.

"Um, nowhere," Yusuke admitted. "I was just turned down for a job again."

"Oh," his friend said, in a slightly amused tone. "Well, I hardly think a bad day qualifies as grounds for throwing yourself into oncoming traffic," he teased.

"Hey, I just wasn't watching where I was going…."

"Rather unwise, Yusuke, given your history with cars." Kurama lapsed into silence for several minutes. "Yusuke," he spoke in a more serious tone. "May I ask you something?"

"You just did," Yusuke joked. He faltered though, when he noticed the look on the other's face. "What is it?"

Kurama swallowed, feeling dry-throated suddenly. "Ah, what was the last mission we went on?"

He received a quirked eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Never mind," he murmured, shaking his head. "I was just wondering…" he trailed off. "Where do you want me to take you?"

Yusuke thought a moment. "I don't know," he said. "Hey, are you done working today?" Kurama nodded. "Do you want to go find Kuwabara? We could all go hang out somewhere."

"I'm afraid I'll have to pass," Kurama replied, throwing Yusuke a side-glance.

"Oh." Yusuke smiled, concealing his disappointment. "Too bad, huh? No one sees you anymore."

"I've had a lot to do lately, a lot to think about, and little time on my hands to do it all." He bit his lip. "Work has been rather stressful," he admitted. "I wish I did have time to visit," he added softly.

Yusuke quietly observed his friend, brow furrowed. There was something about Kurama that seemed off somehow, but he couldn't identify what. "Well, another time then." He looked out the window. "We're pretty close by the apartment; you can let me out here." Kurama nodded absently and pulled over.

"If you wanted, I could talk to my step-father. He may be able to find somewhere for you to work…."

"Um, okay. Thanks, Fox-boy." He smiled. "Maybe you'll find some time to hang out soon, huh?" Kurama shrugged, and waved before driving off. Yusuke stared after the car a moment, and then turned toward the apartment building, dreading how Keiko may react to his not-so-good news.

Kurama parked his car on the street, got out, and continued on foot. Where he was going, he wasn't entirely sure. Lately if felt as though he was living in a fog; his mind often wandered at work and home, making it difficult to concentrate, and he was experiencing trouble sleeping.

Last night he had dreamt that a man with long brown hair and the most intense seal-colored eyes he'd ever seen had given him a drink of water. The dream had ended when he woke up feeling feverish and very thirsty. He didn't get back to sleep the rest of the night. Instead, he lay back on top of the bed sheets and enjoyed the feel of a cool spring breeze against his naked skin, contemplating his strange dreams and (as he often did) what may have happened during his lost month. As time moved on his curiosity consumed him more and more—he was near the point of setting aside his normal concerns and confessing to his mother what it was that ate at him, hoping she may have an answer.

It occurred to Kurama that he'd just turned the same corner for the fourth time. 'This is pathetic,' he realized. 'I'm achieving nothing walking in circles.' His body felt heavy; he returned to his car.

He glanced in the mirror while he drove. There were no cars behind him; all he saw was a pair of confused green eyes staring back at him. He watched entranced, as the green eyes morphed into somber garnet ones, then sad brown ones, and finally cruel blue ones.

His vision dimmed as his own eyes gradually closed; his head fell to rest on the steering wheel; his mind didn't register that his car had risen up on the curb; his body didn't feel the impact as the car drove into the telephone pole.


	5. Chapter V

A/N: Concerning my re-wioop-ing project: Chapter V of "re-WIOOP?" consists of Chapters VII-IX of the original WIOOP?

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter V  
Edited: June 6, 2007 

Traffic grew lighter; he winced as he took the dip into the main street too fast, and bumped his head on the ceiling.

His car had survived the crash sporting a lot of dents and a shattered windshield, but was otherwise untouched. Kurama had wasted no time after picking it up from repair in triumphantly pointing out to Yusuke how durable his junk heap really was. "A newer car would have been totaled," he had said. As for himself, other than there still being glass shards in his hair, the periodic headaches, and recalling the disturbing hallucination he had experienced prior to falling asleep the night of the wreck, he was no worse for wear.

Not that everyone else held the same consensus. He was debating whether or not to visit his friends—he grew tired of them always asking how his head felt—when he recognized a spark of energy nearby. 'What is he doing here?' he wondered. He drove in the direction of the energy.

It led him to the park he always passed on the way to and from work. 'Here again?' He parked his car and wandered along the various walking and bike paths, finally coming to stand beneath a grand Sakura tree. He looked up; several wilted, withered blooms still clung stubbornly to the branches, unwilling to let go and die. "I know you're up there," he called into the foliage. "Why don't you show yourself?"

He was startled when only a moment later Hiei appeared next to him. "Hn, why so jumpy?" the Koorime inquired.

"I- I hadn't expected you to concede so quickly," he replied. "It's unlike you."

"What are you doing here?"

Kurama shrugged. "Taking a walk. And what are you doing here? After all of your impassioned declarations about how you hate the Ningenkai, you're appearing rather contradictive, coming back all the time."

Hiei bristled. "I do not come back 'all the time,' Fox," he said hotly. "You over-exaggerate." He made to glare at Kurama, but instead found himself studying the others face intently, brows knotted together. "What happened to you?" he asked, pointing.

Kurama grew uneasy; Hiei was pointing to several faint bruises on his face and forehead. "Those are nothing," he said.

"Where did you get them?"

"If you must know, I was in a car wreck."

* * *

"Mr. Minamino, your mother is here to see you," the nurse had said. 

Kurama nodded dimly, surveying his surroundings curiously. He appeared to be in a hospital room, he observed.

"Shuichi?" He looked in the direction of the voice. "How are you feeling?" his mother asked.

He stared at her a moment. "My head hurts," he managed. "Mother, why am I in the hospital?"

She furrowed her brow. "You don't remember?" He shook his head. "Sweetie, you were in a wreck. Your car hit a telephone pole."

His face was blank, but immediately brightened with realization. "I remember…" he murmured.

"Shuichi, do you remember what happened; why you hit it?"

"I … fell asleep," he said, face flushed from embarrassment.

* * *

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "You fell asleep." 

"Rather idiotic, I know." He expected some sort of jeer from the fire demon, but all Hiei did was quirk an eyebrow and nothing more. "Ah, I found out what happened that month, the one I don't remember…"

"What?" Hiei asked abruptly.

"Mother told me."

* * *

"Was anyone else hurt?" Kurama asked her. 

"You were the only one in the wreck. Someone drove by and saw your car and called an ambulance." She shot him a strange look. "You fell asleep?"

He nodded, feeling like a moron. "Yes," he said, his voice nearly inaudible.

"Why?"

Kurama chewed his lip. "I don't know…" he told her. He felt so stupid. "I don't remember." He gave her a pitiful look, hating himself for it. "Mother, there's this period of a month or so that I have no memory of. I have no idea what happened, what I did during that time. And I have absolutely no clue why I don't remember."

For a few minutes Shiori was silent. "Shuichi," she finally said. "You were really sick for a while. You had a fever and most of the time you weren't conscious. You had us very worried." She gave him an apologetic smile. "I hadn't realized you didn't remember."

* * *

Hiei gawked at him. "… Are you feeling better?" 

"Well, I'm up and about—it's not being able to remember that bothers me."

The Koorime shrugged. "I wouldn't worry too much. If you don't remember, then I doubt whatever happened while you were conscious was of any significance." He paused a moment, watching Kurama's face.

The Fox appeared to be mulling over Hiei's words. "Yes, I suppose, but it still bothers—" He stopped, shook himself. "I'm sorry; this must all seem pretty stupid to you."

"I don't believe I've ever heard a word pass your lips that was stupid," Hiei murmured. Kurama smiled a little, and gave the fire demon an almost tender look. "That is, except for when you're being a smart ass," he said hastily, feeling strange suddenly.

Kurama burst into laughter, making Hiei jump. "Yes, well then. Um…" he shifted his weight. "Hiei, would you like to go do something maybe?"

"It would depend," Hiei said. "What thing?"

"I don't know. We could see a movie or something." The Koorime gave him an odd look. "I don't see you often anymore." Kurama spread his arms. "Most of the time, we are—quite literally—worlds apart. Kuwabara's in school; Yusuke's looking for a new job—"

"Knew he'd have to," Hiei muttered. Yusuke had the skills for running a demonic territory well enough, but a human dining establishment seemed another thing entirely.

"I get lonely," Kurama confessed.

"Are you trying to make me feel sorry for you?"

"An afternoon with me," the Fox bargained. "And then you can spirit back to the Makai."

He did miss seeing Kurama as much as he used to. "The afternoon," he reinforced.

* * *

"You're not going out there." 

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Why not? It's only raining."

"You're not going out there," he repeated.

This time he earned a glare. "Last I checked, I didn't take orders from you, Kurama," he said coolly. "It's rain; I won't melt." Despite the redhead's protests, Hiei exited the window and landed on a tree branch. He was right; it was rain. A lot of it—soaking him in seconds and hindering his vision. He grumbled under his breath and used a hand to shield his eyes from the rain. After several moments he saw a tree across the street that could serve as a "stepping stone" for his route.

He made to leap at it, but something grabbed the collar of his cloak and yanked him back. Hiei whirled around to free himself, expecting the culprit to be a branch of sorts, only to angrily discover that there stood Kurama, thoroughly drenched and hanging onto Hiei. "Let me go!" the Koorime growled, trying to loosed Kurama's grasp.

The redhead opened his mouth, but what he said was lost, drowned out by a loud roar. A second later everything outside flashed extremely bright. Hiei ignored it, and continued struggling with Kurama. "Look," the Fox said, pointing, right as a burnt smell wafted past Hiei.

Hiei turned and looked for what it was Kurama wanted him to see. At first, he saw nothing. Then his gaze managed to penetrate the thick grayish sheets of liquid diamonds, and he saw that his intended "stepping stone" was now a steaming mass of charred wood. He gave an involuntary shudder, but shrugged it off. "So?" he said to Kurama.

"So, you shouldn't be out in this weather," Kurama retorted. He shivered; an icy wind chose to plague them now. It blew about his wet hair, fanning it out in front of him, only to change direction and smack him in the face—a rather unpleasant experience. "It's too dangerous right now," he continued, brushing his hair aside. "You have to come back inside."

The Koorime narrowed his eyes. "I don't 'have to' do any—Damn it!" The liquid diamonds had solidified, pelting anything and anyone blocking their path from the ground below. He muttered a string of inaudible curses while he tried shielding his head with one arm, not even protesting when Kurama took the other and dragged him back inside.

"I told you that you weren't going anywhere." Hiei didn't comment. Kurama shivered again, and struggled to get his wet shirt over his head.

Hiei heard a 'thunk' and looked in the direction of the sound. He raised his eyebrows; Kurama had discarded his top, carelessly tossing it to the floor, and was now wriggling out of his pants. Hiei widened his eyes—the underwear had just come off too.

Kurama glanced over his shoulder to see Hiei staring at him. He gave his friend a perplexed look, until he realized what captivated the Jaganshi so; quickly, his face grew hot, and he turned away to conceal the blushing—he honestly hadn't intended to strip in front of Hiei.

Hiei watched the Fox turn his back, observing that what he could see of Kurama's neck was turning red, his gaze unconsciously slipping down to the other's butt. Then he actually realized what he was doing, and it was his turn to blush. He quickly looked away, surprised that his eyes had been drawn to that particular area.

"Hiei?" Kurama asked.

"What?" he answered, sparing a brief glance in the Fox's direction, and then turning to face him when he saw that Kurama was wearing pants again.

"Would you like to borrow some of my clothes?" he asked, choosing a shirt from his drawer.

This earned a sound from Hiei that resembled a laugh of sorts. "I doubt any of your clothing will fit me. It's all too big."

A jester's gleam shone in Kurama's eyes. "All right then," he said matter-of-factly. "If mine don't fit you, then I suppose I could borrow some of Shuichi's clothes for you." Hiei glowered at him. "Quit being prideful, I don't want you to get sick either." He finished buttoning his shirt and left the room.

Hiei sat down on the window sill, shaking his bangs out of his eyes and looking around the room. His afternoon with Kurama had become half a week, but oddly, he felt no urge to escape the human world just yet. He hadn't realized how much he really did miss his old partner's company.

There was a puddle on the floor where he'd been standing, and a similar one around the pile of Kurama's abandoned clothing. Aside from that, the room was, in his opinion, freakishly tidy. The bed was made, the contents of the bookshelves and desk were arranged in an orderly fashion, and not an article of clothing in the dresser or closet was out of place. Even the houseplants in Kurama's room seemed to grow in a structured manner. For a moment he suspected they may be false, but shrugged it off. He doubted that Kurama, of all people, would be one for counterfeiting nature; however, he wondered if the Fox used his abilities to affect the plants' growth.

He noticed several posters on the wall. A few appeared to be prints of Ningen artwork—paintings and photography. Perhaps he'd ask Kurama about them later, assuming he had absolutely nothing else to do at the time.

The few remaining ones appeared to be pictures taken of different places. He found himself staring at a rather odd one. It featured a desert landscape adorned with large stone monuments, structures somewhat triangular in shape, but three-dimensional. A poster right next to it also sported desert, but this one depicted a gargantuan statue of a bizarre creature akin to a Chimera: some sort of beast with the head of a human.

Kurama reentered the room with an armful of clothes to discover Hiei staring at a couple of the poster on his wall. "I have some clothes for you," he said. Hiei turned and looked at him, looked at the clothes, and then turned back to the wall.

"Kurama, what sort of animal is this?" Hiei pointed to the great stone "Chimera."

He followed Hiei's finger. "That's the Sphinx, Hiei. It's not an actual animal found in the Ningenkai—or at least if it is, it hasn't been officially discovered. Here." He gave Hiei the clothes. "Get changed before you catch something." Hiei removed his cloak. "You can fold your clothes on the chair over there; I'll put them in the dryer in a bit if you want."

He nodded, and moved closer to the chair by the desk. "What's the Sphinx?"

"Well, there are two answers to that: In Egypt—a country far west of here, in northeastern Africa, the Sphinx was thought in ancient times to serve as a guardian to Pharaoh, the ruler of the empire. But the Sphinx was also present in Greece, but with an eagle's wings and a woman's head a breasts. She was also a guardian. She stood before the gates of an important city, and those who wished to pass had to correctly answer a riddle before she granted them passage; those who didn't, she killed."

Hiei was dressed now. "Did you learn all of that in the Ningen schools?" he asked Kurama.

"A little, but most of what I learned about it was independent, outside of school." He did a quick check to affirm that Hiei was indeed fully clothed, then walked over to one of his shelves. "Um, here," he said, pulling out a book and handing it to Hiei. The Koorime examined the photo on the cover—the very same Sphinx as on Kurama's poster. "That entire book is on Ancient Egypt," Kurama continued, sounding somewhat nervous. "Its history, monuments, pharaohs, mythology…" he trailed off, watching his friend carefully. Hiei was just staring at the book. "I could wash your clothes for you, if you wanted."

Hiei didn't answer immediately. He looked at the book thoughtfully, and then laid it on the desk. "If you want to be my laundress—"

"I'm a man, Hiei."

"—launderer, be my guest."

Immediately Kurama picked up his and Hiei's wet clothes. "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable," he invited as he left.

The fire demon settled himself on Kurama's bed, lay back, and decided that while he waited for the redhead he'd count the little bumps on the ceiling…

"Hello," a female voice said a few minutes alter. Hiei looked at the door, where Kurama's mother stood.

'236,' he thought absently. "Hello," he replied.

"Did the rain catch you and Shuichi on your way in?" He gave a slow nod—never mind that they were already in when it caught them. An eerie silence fell between the two.

"Mother?" Kurama had returned.

She smiled at him. "I was just having a conversation with Hiei."

From behind her the Koorime rolled his eyes. He hardly thought that a greeting and one sentence should be called 'conversation.'

Kurama didn't see Hiei's gesture, and beamed at his mother. "Hiei was going to leave, but then this weather picked up." He'd introduced his mother to Hiei several days prior, when the smaller demon had come home with him from the park. To his delight Shiori had immediately hit it off with Hiei—at least, as well as anybody could hit if off with the moody fire demon.

Shiori nodded, now noticing that Hiei appeared to be wearing some of her step-son's apparel. "The radio said it may be a while before it quits outside. Hiei, would you like to stay for dinner again?"

"No," he said flatly—he needed to return to Mukuro—but he realized how rude his tone was, and that he was talking to the Fox's mother. "I mean, that won't be necessary," he added, in a more civil tone. "I think the rain will stop before then."

"All right; you two let me know if you need anything." She didn't take any offense to Hiei's words. From what observations she had made of Hiei, he struck her as being an introverted individual uncomfortable with being around too many people at once. Quiet. A loner. In some ways he reminded her of her own son.

"I believe she likes you," Kurama said after Shiori left.

"Should I be flattered?" The redhead shrugged. "You're going back to work soon?" he asked.

Kurama nodded. "Day after tomorrow. I'll be glad; I hate having nothing to do. Thank you for keeping me company."

"You like your job?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"You suppose?"

He quirked an eyebrow; Hiei normally didn't ask such questions. "Well, it gives me something to do at least. But after a while it gets boring." He shrugged. "And you? I'm sure you tire of your job at times, too?"

"I have no complaints."

"Then why did I find you in the park the other day?" Kurama sat up and looked Hiei in the eye. "You were forced to stay in the Ningenkai during parole; I didn't expect to see you on this side anymore since your parole was lifted, at least, not so often. I assumed that when you became Mukuro's heir you wouldn't come around anymore."

"I told you, Kurama. I don't work all the time."

"Do you come back because of Yukina?" Kurama persisted, not buying his friend's excuse.

"I don't know," Hiei said impatiently. The redhead sensed the truth in this statement, and didn't push the subject further. Hiei was thankful for the silence, and sat back to

"Did he fall asleep?" she asked. Hiei nodded. She donned an odd expression. "He's been acting rather… odd, lately. He's tired. Did he tell you how he fell asleep while driving?" He nodded again. "He's beginning to worry me, but I don't know that to do about it."

The woman was opening up too much to him; Hiei decided to change the subject. "It's stopped raining," he noted.

"So it has," Shiori agreed. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" she asked again.

"Perhaps another time," he said. He got to his feet, carefully so as not to disturb Kurama. "My clothes are dry?"

"Um, yes. I'll bring them up to you."

Ten minutes later Shiori saw Hiei (now redressed in his own clothes) off at the front door. "Bye, Hiei," she said. "I hope you can visit again sometime."

"Hn." He disliked these Ningen formalities. "Tell him I'll see him again soon," he said on his way down the walk. Shiori smiled and shut the door. She went upstairs to wake her son.

"Suichi, wake up." She shook Kurama gently, trying to rouse him. Sleepy emerald slits peered up at her. "Dinner will be ready soon." He nodded, stifling a yawn.

"Where's Hiei?" he asked, getting up and stretching.

"He left a little while ago." She looked out his window. "Kazuya's home," she announced. "I'll let you wake up a few minutes, okay?" Kurama gave her a drowsy nod on her way out, then sat back and rubbed his eyes. He could smell dinner wafting up from the kitchen below, making his stomach growl. He went over to shut the window, but stopped and did a double-take upon passing the desk. 'How about that?' he thought with an amused laugh.

The book on Ancient Egypt was gone.


	6. Chapter VI

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter VI  
Edited: June 11, 2007  
(Again: December 3, 2007)

So far today Yusuke had had a clipboard jutted into his stomach, missed an elevator no one would hold for him, and still had no idea what floor he was even supposed to be on. He clenched his teeth and punched the door, then yelled when his hand began to hurt.

"Are you okay?" someone asked.

"What?" He turned around. "Oh. No; I have absolutely no idea where I'm supposed to be going, and no one's even bothering to give me a little help."

"I'm sorry, but I suppose that's the real world for you. You're your own help."

"Man, I hate this place!" he exclaimed angrily. "How can you stand to work here?"

Kurama shrugged. "I manage." He saw the sour expression on the other's face. "You've only been here a few days, Yusuke. You're still familiarizing yourself with everything. You'll get used to it."

"Doubt it," Yusuke huffed, tugging at his tie. He earned a stern look. "What? I'm serious; I hate this job. I want to quit."

"Where would you go, then? I doubt you'd be able to find another job that pays as much as this; you should consider yourself lucky."

His words came out rather harsh. "Whoa, lighten up, okay? This isn't life and death."

"Just because something isn't life and death doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken seriously. This job is keeping your bills paid and putting food on the table for you and Keiko. And since she's been waiting on people hand and foot in that restaurant without complaining, I don't see where you have the right to. You're making a great deal more than her, so be thankful."

Yusuke raised his eyebrows. "Are you in a bad mood or something?"

"Not at all. I just rather take offense that after all I did to get you a job here, all you've done is complain."

"Sorry," he said, not exactly sure why he was apologizing. "It's just frustrating; I don't know what I'm doing."

"Then learn," Kurama replied mildly. He pushed past Yusuke and pressed the elevator button. "Where are you supposed to be?"

"I'm supposed to take this," he held up a large stack of files, "to the conference room."

"That's on the fifth floor. I'm going that way; I'll show you where it is."

Yusuke followed him onto the elevator, and then down the hall of the fifth floor. "So, where's your office, anyhow?" he asked, eyeing the various rooms that they passed. Kurama didn't answer; instead, he took Yusuke and steered him into a rather large room where about a dozen people sat around a large table. They were apparently in the middle of a discussion, but all stopped and stared at the two when they came in.

"Yes?" one of them asked. Kurama didn't say anything. Nearly a minute passed and he still remained silent. The stares began to grow more scrutinizing. Yusuke shifted, waiting for the Fox to say something.

Nothing happened. He coughed. "Um, I was supposed to bring these up here," he muttered, handing over the files. He tried to ignore the looks on all the people's faces, and quickly found his way out. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked Kurama when they had both exited the conference room.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe I'm being paid to do your job," Kurama said edgily. Yusuke quirked an eyebrow, surprised at his friend's tone.

"Um, right." Kurama's pay was a lot more than what he earned anyhow. He noticed Kurama had stopped. "What are we doing?" he asked.

To his bewilderment, he received a rather cold stare. "_We_ are not doing anything, Yusuke. _I _am going back to work."

He opened the door to his office, allowing Yusuke a slim glimpse of the sparsely-furnished room. "And, if you expect to be paid, I'd suggest you do, too." Kurama shut the door.

"Uhh…" was all Yusuke could manage. Had Kurama just yelled at him? He hadn't raised his voice, but his tone hadn't been the friendliest, either.

"Wow." Yusuke turned around. A man he'd never seen before stood there. "I heard that from down the hall; I don't believe I've ever seen him so temperamental before."

Yusuke blinked. "Yeah," he agreed, eyeing the man. He was young, roughly Yusuke's age. Also around the same height, but his build was more slender, willowy. Dark black-blue hair sprouted from his head, tied back loosely at the nape of his neck, long bangs hanging down over deep aqua eyes—a stunning contrast to his very creamy complexion. "Do you work on this floor, too?" he asked.

The new man laughed, not in mockery but in good humor. "Yeah, sometimes." He knocked on the door. "Mr. Minamino?"

Yusuke heard Kurama admit the man—Akira, he believed the redhead called him—in a much more civil tone than he'd just used with the brunette; and then he wandered in the direction of the elevator. Kurama may have been brusque today, but he was right: Yusuke _did_ have work to do.

* * *

As usual, the day seemed to pass by horridly slow—almost as bad as school used to, when Yusuke bothered attending. It drove him crazy; he just wanted the day to hurry up and end. He didn't care if he'd only been here a few days; he already hated this place and knew this job couldn't be permanent for the sake of his mental health if nothing else.

But he wasn't about to leave until he at least found a half-way decent job elsewhere. He had to admit that Kurama was right when he'd pointed out how hard Keiko was working; it wouldn't be fair to her if he walked away from this job with nothing else to fall back on. Yusuke knew that for now he'd have to bite the bullet, but that wasn't going to keep him from grumbling about it.

He took a deep breath as he left the building and entered the parking lot. Until tomorrow, he was a free man, breathing free air, and he really didn't want to think about going back to work the next morning. Yusuke found Kurama's car and waited for the redhead to appear.

About ten minutes later he spotted the Fox approaching. "Hey," he said, his tone friendly but cautious at the same time. He didn't know if Kurama's disposition had lightened at all form earlier. He received a nod, but they got into the car and began driving and Kurama didn't say a word. "So, who's Akira?" Yusuke asked, uncomfortable with the silence.

"He's a repairman," Kurama answered. "He fixes the computers, faxes, copy machines, stuff like that." He shrugged. "He's contract, meaning he comes and goes as he pleases, but he and I have had many an opportunity to chat." They'd reached a stoplight, and Kurama took the chance to shut his eyes and rub his temples.

"Are you okay?" Yusuke asked, noticing what he was doing.

"I have a headache, nothing too bad."

"Oh." He wondered if it was because of the wreck. Kurama volunteered nothing else as the light turned green and they began moving again. "So, Keiko and I had dinner with her folks the other night. Maybe it's just me, but they seemed kind of, uh, distant."

"Towards you and Keiko?"

"Um, more like just me. I'm probably going out on a limb here, but I think that maybe they don't really like us two living together and not being married." Kurama nodded. He knew that some members of the previous generation looked disapprovingly upon an unwedded couple living together. "So I'm thinking maybe me and her should get married sometime soon."

"What?" Kurama said abruptly.

Yusuke looked over at him. "Well, we want to be together, right? So, we'd probably get married sooner or later anyways, so what's wrong with sooner?"

"Plenty," Kurama replied. Yusuke widened his eyes.

"Huh?"

"Yusuke, you—Never mind, we're already here." He pulled over and let Yusuke out. "See you tomorrow," he absently told his friend before driving off.

He couldn't believe what Yusuke was thinking. Kurama scoffed at the old idea of getting married fresh out of high school. Couldn't people see how self-destructive that was? Apparently not; he wasn't one hundred percent sure, but he thought his mother might have dropped a few subtle hints to him regarding family and such. He didn't blame her for perhaps wanting grandchildren and everything, but in a way it annoyed him.

Kurama made a mental note to keep tabs on Yusuke for at least a little while.

* * *

The rain outside made a loud pattering noise as it hit the ground, soaking it, making it mud. The conditions inside were better, but there was a terrible draft. "Inside" was within the ruins of very old, very weathered caverns, which as every wet season hit threatened more adamantly to erode away until nothing was left. A portion of one of the walls of this particular "room" had done just that, giving a fantastic view of the storm occurring outside.

His companion paused musing to look out there, to enjoy this view. In truth, so did he, which seemed amazing, given his current situation. Did anyone else observe how powerful the wind was, blowing about rain and stray vegetation in whichever random direction it so chose? Did anyone else appreciate the stunning effects the lightning created when it flashed, illuminating the sky and ground, how shockingly beautiful it was? No one around here appeared to.

"I wonder," spoke the other, "should I be like on of those characters out of those old stories? Staring out at Nature and all Her wondrous fury, and all of the sudden it hits me: I know the meaning of life?" His tone was a strange mixture of amusement and cynicism, his eyes a little sad.

"Truth is," he continued, staring outside, "perhaps I've already discovered the meaning of life: there is none. We're here, thinking that we exist for some special purpose, but it's all an illusion. Did you know that some species of animal only live long enough to reproduce, and then they die?" He shook his head, as though he himself had a little trouble believing it. "It's true though. But what sort of meaning of life is that? To live, perhaps reproduce, and then die? What of the possible children, then—are they condemned to that same fate? And if that is so, then what's the point? Why not just lie down and die, if that is the only point of living?" His lips tugged into a strange, sad smile.

"And perhaps you wonder why I'm still here, if you wonder at all? I don't know. I was not always like this—I did once have some fulfillment from life. I try to tell myself I still do, but as time goes by I feel it's just wishful thinking. I doubt I'll ever see her again; I don't even know where she is now.

"But if I no longer care or believe in the high majesty of life, why am I still bothered when it is taken? Why does part of me still feel disturbed every time I see that color of red, that liquid life, flow out of the one who so desperately needs it? I see it seep out of your flesh, and I put pressure on it, stop it, wrap it up so it stays inside of you. Just what do I accomplish by doing it? Is there even anything left to save, to preserve? Or are you gone? Why should I care: anywhere is better than here. I wouldn't blame you for leaving. Life's painful as it is; why stay when it goes to hell even more?" He laughed. "And here I try to keep you here with me, though I don't know why. I mean, wouldn't it be so much more merciful on my part to just turn around and let you go?"

His mind was an aquifer; every random thought emerged from there, flowed along his tongue, spouted from his mouth. A verbal waterfall. It was such a dramatic change in the curt behavior he'd displayed thus far. "Does such talk frighten you?" he asked softly. "Or do you even hear me?"

* * *

"Wake up."

"W-What?" He opened his eyes, blinking in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

Hiei scowled. "You're the one who insisted us two go do something today, and here I find you still in bed. You've succumbed to Ningen laziness, Fox." Kurama sat up and stretched. Hiei watched, bored and still somewhat asleep, and then did a double take. "Are you naked?" he asked.

"Huh?" Kurama flushed when he realized he was. 'Is this the part where I wake up?' he wondered. "Wait, I remember now. It was very warm last night, and I opened my window, and that didn't help, so I abandoned my night clothes." He afforded a sheepish smile. "Um, could you turn around a moment?"

The Koorime rolled his eyes, but fulfilled the request. "I think you conveniently unclothe yourself in my presence on purpose," he joked.

"What?! That's ridiculous!" Kurama threw on some clothing.

Hiei smirked. "There are better means of seduction, Kurama—"

"Don't flatter yourself," he interrupted before Hiei could complete his taunt. "Just give me a few minutes and we can go, okay?"

"Uh-huh," Hiei said disinterestedly, leaning against the desk.

He heard water running. "Hiei, do you think there's some specific meaning to life?"

"Huh?" Where had that question come from? "Do you always ask philosophical questions in the morning? You're giving me a headache."

Kurama chuckled, returning to the room. "Do you always make ill-composed sexual innuendos in the morning?"

Hiei just stared at him. "Um, perhaps I'll make us some coffee before we leave."

"Uh-huh. Where are we going?"

"Lunch—for you, that is; I suppose I'll do brunch. There's a small Mediterranean restaurant downtown I'd like to try." The two left the house, neither saying anything for a few minutes. "So," the Fox ventured. "Did you like the book?"

"What?"

"On Egypt. Did you like it?" Hiei threw him an odd look. "You did read it, didn't you?"

"No."

"But you took it."

"No, I didn't."

"Well, it's been missing for almost two weeks—coinciding with when I offered it to you—and just this morning I discovered it on my desk, in plain view. Now, either I'm blind, or it's been gone."

"I didn't take it," Hiei insisted, glaring at Kurama.

The Fox shrugged. "All right, if you insist." Hiei nodded, redirecting his attention to the Ningen activity occurring all around them. So pointless; all they did was rush about like ants, heading for work. He wondered if Kurama resembled them on the days he worked, and then he decided he'd really rather not imagine it.

"I always liked Osirus—ah, he was one of the Egyptian gods. His domain was over art, writing, science, thought—a true intellectual of the deities."

"No, that was Thoth," Hiei argued, only a second before realizing that he had taken the bait and fallen into his companion's trap. This companion who, when Hiei dared to glance his way, looked at him in a superior, triumphant manner, a smug expression on his face. "Shut up, Kurama."

Said redhead made a mock-innocent gesture. "Me? Why Hiei, I've said nothing at all." He looked down the street, and asked, pointing, "Is that Kuwabara?"

Hiei looked into the crowd, quickly spotting an all-too-familiar moron. "Yes," he grumbled. "Let's disappear before he sees us."

"Hey, Kurama! Kurama!" Hiei invisibly cringed at the sound of the obnoxious voice, and then glared at Kurama.

"Too late," Kurama said good-naturedly. He noticed the Koorime's sour face, aimed at him. "What?!" he asked, baffled. "I didn't shout into the crowd or any—Hello, Kuwabara."

"Hey." He noticed Hiei. "What's Shorty doing here?" Hiei glowered.

"Hiei is keeping me company today."

"Oh, like a date or something," Kuwabara teased. Hiei bristled.

Kurama, however, was unaffected. "Yes, Kuwabara," he said playfully. "Exactly like a date." He wrapped an arm around Hiei and drew him close in a possessive manner.

Kuwabara began to laugh while Hiei imagined skewering him with his sword. A pity Kurama made him leave it at the house, claiming it may upset the Ningen—of which were now giving them weird and sometimes repulsed looks as they passed this display. He countered their stares with murderous ones of his own, and they quickly focused their attention elsewhere.

"Let go of me, Kurama," Hiei said, maintaining a civil tone. This "joke" was beginning to perplex him. The Fox's hold on him felt too… odd—intimate, perhaps—for being only playful. Though Kurama immediately released him, the odd feeling lingered.

"Um, Kuwabara, have you any classes today?" Kurama asked, acting as though nothing had just transpired. The carrot-top shook his head.

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "You're still in school?" he inquired. "If possible, you're a bigger fool than I thought."

"Hey! It's not that type of school! It's another type."

"Special Education?" the Koorime suggested

Kurama quickly intervened. "No, Hiei. Kuwabara's attending college to become a veterinarian."

"Yeah," he said proudly. "I'm going to be a doctor. And you're what again, besides a dwarf?"

"Commander of a military; heir to a kingdom," Kurama quietly reminded him.

"An animal doctor," Hiei said, smirking. "Than I hope there's at least two of you per shift. Otherwise, what will the poor, sick apes do, seeing as how doctors aren't allowed to operate on family members?"

"Okay, that's it," Kuwabara growled. "At least you're not a vet, 'cause then all the slimy snakes wouldn't have a doctor."

"Slimy snakes?"

"Yeah. You're a demon, right? For all we know you could have hatched out of a shell. Probably did."

Hiei was about to retort when Kurama jumped in again. "Kuwabara, first, if you're going into the animal profession, you should know that snakes are reptiles, not amphibians, and thus not slimy. Secondly, unless you count the Dragon, Hiei is by no means reptilian, I assure you." He smiled while the other two gave each other less than friendly looks. "Um, Kuwabara, would you care to join us for lunch?"

Hiei could have killed him for his diplomacy, but Kuwabara quickly accepted the offer.

"Okay then." 'If all else fails, bribe people into civility with promises of food they don't have to pay for.'

"Yeah, it's too bad Yusuke and Keiko went out of business, huh? I'm still looking for another food joint to hang out at."

"Well, that's the risk of running your own business," Kurama replied. "I'm sorry to have to say it, but I believe that Yusuke for one simply wasn't mature enough for it."

"And he's supposed to be running a territory in Makai?" Kuwabara muttered. "I'm surprised his people haven't revolted yet." And then he laughed; it was difficult imagining Yusuke with "people."

The three arrived to the restaurant and ordered the same meal—a dish of seasoned fish with rice and lemon, and iced tea to drink. While they waited for the food, Kuwabara left for the restroom, leaving Hiei and Kurama alone.

Kurama sat back and admired the décor; mosaics, and a rich color scheme dominated by hues of blue and gold. "I've noticed how the Mediterranean nations seem to favor colors like these," he said offhandedly. "Greece, Italy, _Egypt_ …" He threw a sly glance Hiei's way, but the Koorime didn't seem to have heard him. "Hiei?" No answer.

"Why did you hold me like that?" Hiei asked suddenly.

"What?"

"When the fool asked if we were on a date, and you said we were, and you grabbed me. Why?"

"Oh. I …" He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, actually. Looking back, I suppose that really doesn't seem like something I'd normally do." He laughed nervously. "I'm sorry about that; I doubt you found it too funny."

Hiei stared at him in a way that made him uncomfortable. "Kurama," he began. "While you've lived in this world, have you ever been with a Ningen female?"

"What? Um, no." He chewed his lip. A rather personal question, one he wouldn't expect Hiei to ask.

"No?" The Jaganshi sounded a little surprised. "Why not?" His tone was strange.

"Well, at first I was more focused on regaining my youki and returning to Makai, and of course the average human male doesn't hit puberty until age twelve, and doesn't generally reach sexual maturity until age sixteen; and then I was rather occupied with school and all our missions—what are you implying?"

"Nothing," Hiei said, examining Kurama's face. "While you had a demon's body, you had significant others?"

Why was he asking such things? "No, Hiei," he said sarcastically. "I died a millennia-old virgin."

"Who were they?"

"I'd only call one a true significant other, and I've already told you about them."

"Does your mother ever talk to you about a family?"

"Yes," he answered cautiously. "Why?"

"The Detective has a mate, the fool thinks he has one—"

"Well, he and Yukina are sort of dating now," Kurama said, trying to distract his friend.

"What?" Hiei demanded, and then, realizing the Fox's intentions, brushed the matter aside for the moment. "It appears to be the custom here that when Ningens grow up they take mates and reproduce. You haven't."

"Look, Hiei," he said impatiently, "perhaps I'm not interested in getting married—a lot of people aren't. And just because I haven't been with a woman, and I joked with Kuwabara about being on a date with you, does not mean I'm—"

"Kuronue?"

Kurama furrowed his brow. "What?"

"Kuronue was your significant other?"

"Y-Yes, he was."

"So you are," Hiei argued.

'Why is he pressing this?' Kurama wondered, frustrated. "Hiei, what business is it of yours if I am or not? I—"

"I'm back," Kuwabara announced, sitting down. "Hey, it looks like the food's here. Isn't it weird, how when someone gets up to go to the bathroom or something, that's when the food comes?"

"That is odd," Kurama agreed, thankful the meal had arrived. He promptly began to stuff food in his mouth; Hiei couldn't interrogate him if he was unable to talk.

They conversed on lighter matters while they dined. Well, two of them did; Hiei was silent throughout the entire meal, though Kurama was quite sure he heard him growl at one point when Kuwabara mentioned having Yukina over for dinner that night. Talk continued in a steady flow until they'd finished eating, and Kurama paid the bill. Kuwabara thanked the Fox for his hospitality, and announced he had to be going.

"You must leave so soon?" he asked, disappointed. With Kuwabara present, he doubted Hiei would ask him anything too personal.

"Yeah, sorry. I know it's rude to eat and run, but you don't invite a girl like Yukina over and then serve her something ordinary like ramen, you know?" Here the growling began again, but too low for Kuwabara's human ears to comprehend. "I've gotta go home and cook."

"Ah," Kurama nodded, understanding. "Well then, I suppose we'll see you around."

"Yeah. Bye." He waved, and then became lost in the crowd.

"Shall we be going then, Hiei?"

"Hn." Hiei was staring in the direction Kuwabara had gone, a look of contempt worn on his face.

"You know, Yukina likes him too, in a way."

"Hn." He turned and wordlessly followed Kurama down the street.

After a while, he broke the silence. "I aggravated you? Back there?"

Kurama considered it a moment. "Yes," he said. "I suppose you did."

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Kurama stopped walking. Had Hiei just apologized for something?

Hiei shrugged. "Apparently, it's a subject you wish to be left alone."

He nodded. "Yes, it is. Thank you."

"_However_," the fire demon added, "I recall occasions where you refused to let me be regarding Yukina."

'Damn it,' Kurama thought. Hiei didn't want to give up.

"Do you think you'll ever take a mate?"

"Get married?" He heaved a sigh. "I really don't know. Maybe not. Does that satisfy you?"

"Why not?"

Apparently it didn't. "Once again, I really don't know. I've never met a girl I was interested in. That's reason enough, in my opinion." He forced a smile. "Just because the rest of you have a love life and I don't is no cause for worry. I'll be fine, really."

This received a bewildered reaction from Hiei. "I have a love life?"

Kurama furrowed his brow. "You do, don't you?"

Hiei mimicked Kurama's expression, until it dawned on him. "No, I don't," he said, shaking his head. "She is my boss and my friend, but not a lover."

"Oh …" To be honest, Kurama was quite surprised. He had been under the impression … "Well, if you're not paired up either, why are you so concerned about my solitude?"

"You were holding me earlier."

This was enough to make one tear out their hair and run into a brick wall. "Yes, but I explained to you, I was only playing."

"It felt like more than that," Hiei accused.

That did it. " Hiei, you really want to know why I've never involved myself with anyone?"

Next thing Hiei knew, he was shoved up against a wall, the Fox's lips pressed to his own. He was too startled to react, so he just stood there and allowed it.

Kurama's eyes were closed, but soon he realized what was actually happening, and his eyes shot wide open. He backed away clumsily from Hiei, leaning shakily against a tree.

The Jaganshi observed Kurama's behavior, though at the moment he couldn't lock eyes with him. "Kurama—"

There was a light breeze on his face, the type often generated by someone moving close to one's person. Hiei shook himself, and then looked down the street, in search of his friend. But Kurama was already gone.


	7. Chapter VII

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter VII  
Edited: June 11, 2007  
(Again: December 3, 2007)

He had kissed Hiei, Kurama thought, staring listlessly at the carpet of his office. Bland carpet, lackadaisical room. Now he cursed himself for his actions. What had been running through his mind? For the past three days he'd been unable to sleep, he felt anxious, he was unable to concentrate. He had kissed Hiei, and now he may never see the Koorime again. He hadn't seen him since that day—what if his boldness had forfeited their friendship?

His discontent must have been worn on his face; Yusuke and Kazuya had asked him if something was the matter earlier in the day. He'd lied—What was he to do? Answer that he possessed and had expressed feelings for his best friend? Kurama didn't even want to imagine how that might go over.

Even people he did not know so well and vice versa inquired about him. "Perhaps it's not my place," Akira had said in passing, "but you don't look so well."

He'd stared, not liking that his problems seemed so visible. "There are no 'places,' Akira, and I feel fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yes," he insisted. "No," he changed his mind. "It doesn't matter." That was a lie, of course—but what did he care? This was but an acquaintance. "I think I might be in love."

"Oh? And aren't people usually giddy when they're in love?"

"It's with another man," he said flatly.

He expected, at best, discomfort from the other man. Instead, Akira shrugged, saying, "And my girlfriend's black and talks with an accent—So what?"

So what. Kurama had gotten so used to adapting himself to what was expected; unless something major was at stake, he didn't usually ask "So what?" anymore. But then, he thought, this was something major, wasn't it? This could cost him a friendship; this could estrange him from his family; this could….

When Yusuke arrived, Kurama didn't even greet him, just got in the car and drove. By now Yusuke knew better than to try to strike up a conversation. Lately Kurama had been withdrawn, barely talking to Yusuke, if he did at all. He'd just make eye contact or nod, or use some other form of body language to acknowledge him, and then he would drive.

Kurama looked almost sick, and Yusuke suspected something was bothering him, but when he inquired the Fox denied everything. Perhaps he would have continued questioning, except he was afraid of what the problem may be, and of how Kurama may behave if he asked too much. Keeping his uncharacteristic mood swings at the work place in mind, Yusuke decided it best not to go out of his way to do something that may annoy his friend.

"Thanks," he said when Kurama pulled over to let him out. "Uh, you're not going to work tomorrow too, are you? I mean, I'm only working Saturdays right now because I really need the money. But you, you don't need it, so why not take all the weekend off?"

"Your concern for my work schedule is most endearing," Kurama said cynically. "But I can manage it myself."

"Um, yeah," he said uncomfortably. "Good night." There was a diffident tone to his voice. Kurama felt a little bad then for his aggression, and forced a small smile in an effort to comfort the other, and then pulled back out among the traffic.

It was true; he was stable funds-wise, and thus didn't need to work on the weekends for the money. Today he had intended to catch up on work he was supposed to have done that week but hadn't managed to finish; however, his plan hadn't worked. It appeared he would have to return to his office tomorrow as well to complete what he should have completed today.

"Shuichi?" his mother called as he came through the door.

"Yes, Mother." He discovered Shiori in the kitchen. "Shall I help you prepare dinner?"

"No, I have it covered. But thank you anyhow." She turned around, and then stared when she saw him. "Shuichi, are you all right? You look ill…" Next thing he knew, there was approximately an inch of space between them while she examined his face intently.

"Mother, I'm fine," he insisted, pulling away. She made to protest. "I've had a few restless nights, but that is all."

"Okay," she said uncertainly. "But if there's anything troubling you, don't be afraid to tell me."

He faked a smile. "Of course, Mother." He despised himself for all the lying—it shamed him in a way, how easy, natural, it was to him—but for her, it was so much better than the truth. 'Yes, Mother, there is something troubling me. I think I love another man, and I kissed him on the lips. Would you be displeased if I told you that? Oh, and there's that other little thing … I'm really a demonic Fox apparition in human flesh.' He didn't even want to envision her reaction to that last one.

"Hey …" Shuichi came in, looking at Kurama curiously. "Do you know anything about logarithmic equations?"

"Um, I believe I remember some," he answered, amused. "I take it you need help?"

"Shuichi," Shiori called after the two. "Was Kazuya still at the office when you left?"

"Yes," Kurama replied. "He said their meeting would be over soon, and he'd be home in about half an hour." He barely managed to get the words out before Shuichi grabbed him and dragged him to the den.

They remained in there for almost a full hour while Kurama tried several times to explain logarithms to his stepbrother. It wasn't Shuichi's fault; on the contrary, he had been paying close attention and trying to work the problems out. Kurama just couldn't explain it clearly enough. Finally, he admitted defeat and apologized to Shuichi, blaming tiredness, and offering to try again later when he felt more refreshed.

Kazuya had already arrived home by the time they emerged from the den, and he and Shiori were waiting dinner on them. While they ate, Kazuya asked the redhead about work. Blushing slightly, he admitted to the older man that he had done little that day.

He earned a serious expression. "You normally get a lot more accomplished," he chided gently. "To tell you the truth, it worries me that you had to go in today to catch up, and now you tell me you're still behind."

"I know; I'm sorry. I plan to get it all done tomorrow—"

"No." He blinked in surprise, as it was his own mother who told him this. "You will not," she said firmly.

"I really need to finish—"

"She's right, Shuichi," Kazuya said. "I appreciate your work ethic, but you need to acknowledge your own limits. Remember your wreck? There's nothing to be gained from wearing yourself down."

He winced slightly at the mention of the accident. "Fine," he conceded. He finished his meal and excused himself from the table, promising Shuichi he would help him with his homework later.

Kurama retired to his bedroom. He examined his clock. It was a little after seven right now; he set it for eight. That should still five him enough time to help Shuichi. He lay down atop the covers of his bed and dozed off.

* * *

"Hiei, please, I wasn't—"

The Jaganshi wrenched his arm from Kurama's grasp. "I don't want to discuss it any further, Fox."

"Please, Hiei. I'm sorry. I didn't—"

"Shut up, Kurama!" Hiei growled. "Do not press this subject again." He shoved past the Fox, stalking away, not even looking at him.

Kurama stood frozen in place, staring after him. He felt strange. Hiei's words had stung so much, it surprised him. He bit his lip and tried composing himself. When he felt he was calm enough, he spoke. "Hiei," he tried.

Silence answered him. The Koorime refused to acknowledge him.

* * *

He opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was his hand, which was shaking. Kurama made an attempt to steady it, but failed. 'Why am I awake? The alarm hasn't—'

Suddenly the serenity of the room was shattered by a loud beeping noise. 'There it is,' he thought, turning it off. But why was he awake?

There came a knock at the door. 'Oh.' "Yes?"

"Shuichi?"

"Come in, Mother."

Shiori appeared. "Shuichi! You look terrible."

"Thanks," he muttered, absent-mindedly. Though he didn't look for a mirror in which to confirm it, she was probably right. "It's nothing."

"You're shaking."

Indeed he was. Looking down, he saw that both of his hands and arms were trembling. "B-bad dream," he managed, unable to even give her a false smile.

She examined him curiously. He'd been behaving oddly lately, and the news of bad dreams wasn't particularly comforting, but she supposed it was all a process of…. "There's a friend of yours downstairs," she said, pushing aside her worry. "He wants to see you."

"All right," he said distantly. "I'll be right down." After his mother left, he went to the bathroom and washed his face, hoping the puffiness from sleep would go down quickly. He avoided eye contact with his reflection in the mirror, not because he did in fact look sickly, but because he was still afraid from the hallucination he had experienced. A silly fear, a stupid one, he told himself, but one he found himself incapable of ignoring. He brushed out his hair and donned some fresh clothes. Deeming himself presentable, he went downstairs.

His family was in the living room, sitting and watching the news while they talked with one another. Kurama froze; Hiei was with them.

Not sitting down or speaking to any of them, he stood by the entryway, silent as usual. He was the first to notice Kurama's arrival; he looked up and stared the Kitsune in the eye, never blinking, the expression upon his face unreadable. Kurama felt his throat grow dry.

Kurama swallowed. "Hello, Hiei," he said. His friend remained silent. 'You wish for us to go elsewhere?' he asked telepathically. Hiei nodded. "Mother, Hiei and I are going for a walk, okay?"

Shiori nodded, but Shuichi opened his mouth. "I'll be back in time to help you," Kurama said before his little brother could protest. He followed Hiei outside.

No sooner had he shut the door did Hiei begin to walk down the street at a brisk pace. Kurama followed, struggling to keep up with the shorter demon. 'I need more exercise,' he realized, beginning to sweat lightly after a while. They traveled two blocks away from his home, five, eight, and still Hiei said nothing. The two continued their trek—to where, Kurama had no idea—and he was unable to say quiet any longer. "Hiei?" he asked carefully.

The Jaganshi stopped, allowing Kurama to take a breath. It felt like the air was expelled from his body, however, as Hiei finally spoke.

"We need to talk," he said bluntly.

"Yes?" Kurama asked. "Right here?" The city was as crowded by night as it was by day, and on every side of them people milled past.

"No." Hiei continued walking, Kurama pushing himself to keep in step with him. His stomach kept churning, he felt dizzy, sick. At one point he had to stop and lean against a wall, for fear he may collapse on the sidewalk. Hiei stopped and watched him. "Shall I slow down?" he asked.

"No," Kurama said, taking in uneven breaths. "I'm fine, it's just been a while since I've really gone out; I think my muscles have grown lazy."

"Can you walk a little further?"

"Of course," he said adamantly, following the Koorime.

Hiei led them to the same park that Kurama usually passed on the route to work. "We're here," he announced.

"You like this place, don't you?" Kurama remarked, trying to still the butterflies in his stomach.

"It's secluded," Hiei replied flatly. Kurama nodded. The two wandered about the place a few minutes, when Kurama found a tree with a bench beneath it and sat on the furniture, hunched over. "What's wrong?"

"I feel sick," Kurama replied honestly.

"Don't tell me you've been like this since Wednesday."

"Huh?"

"You're behaving like a rabbit who's smelt blood."

Kurama didn't reply. He shut his eyes and leaned back on the bench, taking a few deep breathes. When he opened his eyes again, it was to discover Hiei, perched on the back of the bench, looking down at him. "This feels familiar," he declared.

"Why did you kiss me?"

His stomach lurched. "I-I really don't know."

"You lie!" Hiei hissed. "Tell me why."

"You had me under pressure," he spat back, hating the cornered sensation he was experiencing. "You were grilling me, like you are now."

"So you kissed me just to shut me up; it meant nothing?"

"That's not true!" Kurama said before he could stop himself.

"Oh?"

He sighed; what had he to lose? At this point, it would appear that he was damned every which way no matter what he did. "It was more than that," he said quietly.

"What was it, then?"

"Why do you care?" Kurama asked.

Hiei clenched a fist, feeling bad, but this was a matter that he couldn't drop. "Because this involves me, Kurama, and I want to know."

The Fox felt like he might suffocate. "I love you," he murmured.

"What?" the Koorime asked sharply.

Kurama stood up, knees quivering so badly they barely supported him, and turned to face Hiei. It was odd: the fire demon remained on the back of the bench, thus standing taller than him. Like a judge at sentencing, and he the doomed man. "I love you," he said again, louder this time.

Hiei pondered Kurama's answer. After the unexpected kiss, Hiei had returned to Mukuro's fortress, feeling it best to give both himself and the Fox a few days to compose themselves—though, observing Kurama now, perhaps that hadn't been the best decision. He'd thought over the kiss a great while, and then went to Mukuro and debated it with her. It was she who had suggested the romantic motives for the kiss, but Hiei had doubted her idea … until now, that is. "You love me?"

"I'm sorry," Kurama said, ashamed.

"Why?"

"I … doubt you really desire my affections…"

"Not that. Why do you love me?"

"What?" The park was beginning to spin. "Hiei, it's hard to explain why. Does anyone ever have a reason for loving someone else?" He glanced at him. Hiei's brow was furrowed, his eyes narrowed, in deep thought—but Kurama misinterpreted it as disgust.

Movement broke Hiei's concentration. He saw that the redhead was falling backward. "Kurama!" He jumped off the bench and grabbed him by the shirt, trying to keep him upright.

Kurama regained himself, and stepped back from Hiei. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said anything."

He and Kurama were a lot alike. Kurama also tried to keep everything under the surface, where others could not see it. He did not want to display his true emotions, feeling they were his own issues, not wanting to burden others by displaying them. "Why haven't you ever told me?"

"I doubt you feel the same," Kurama muttered.

"How would you know what I feel, Kurama?" he asked softly.

"I—don't know. I assume."

"You make too many assumptions."

"My mother would be displeased," he said, changing the subject somewhat. "I doubt many human mothers want to hear their son is gay."

"Quit assuming things." Hiei paused. "What do you think I'll do?"

"I don't know. Leave?"

"You think I'm angry with you?"

"I don't know. How am I supposed to? You don't show what you don't want me to know."

Hiei was quiet, and didn't reply. A few minutes passed, and then a few more. "You don't have to answer me," Kurama said quietly. His normal composure had returned. "I didn't really expect one anyway." He looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry; I never meant to trouble you with any of this. I should have been wiser, instead of doing and saying things best left alo—"

He felt a sudden strain on his head; he was being pulled down, forward, by his hair; he felt something soft crush against his cheek. The action stunned him.

When Hiei finished kissing him, he let go, and hopped up on the bench. "Does that answer you?" he asked. Kurama could only stare, completely dumbfounded. "Perhaps you should return home. I've no idea how much time has passed, and you said you would help the child. I'll find you tomorrow."

Hiei disappeared, leaving only Kurama in the park. The Fox just stood there for a minute, frozen, then realized he indeed had a body, and this was no dream—for surely, he thought, this could only occur for him in a dream. Dreams … He shook his head. There were those occasion when it was nearly impossible to decipher dream from reality. This was one of them.


	8. Chapter VIII

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter VIII  
June 9, 12, 16, 23, and 25, 2005  
Edited: June 17, 2007  
(Again: December 3, 2007)

"How are things in the Makai?" Kurama inquired.

Hiei took a sip of coffee. "Fine. We're modernizing her territory, making it more technological like Yomi's."

"Fascinating," he said sincerely. He couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy. After all, becoming a ruler had once been his and Yomi's dream, a long time ago when they were truly young. Now Yomi was a powerful diplomat, despite his blindness; whereas, Kurama now lived as an ordinary citizen of a ningen city, working in an electronics company—nothing too extraordinary. A wistful sigh escaped him. "So, what do we do now?" he asked cautiously.

The Jaganshi had noticed the sigh, but said nothing of it. He stared into his cup. "How long did you know?"

"What? That I—?" Hiei nodded. "I'm … unsure. I think a part of me may have taken to you when we first met … Then again, I'm not so sure that I believe in the old 'love at first sight' aspect. It's all so difficult to pick a clear answer from."

"Hn." Hiei supposed that was understandable. Emotions were fickle; ambiguous; a burden at times.

Kurama hesitated a moment, then reached across the table and took Hiei's hand in his own. The Koorime's arm stiffened at the contact, but he did not pull his hand away. "So why did you kiss me back?"

Hiei stared, confused. "Wasn't that what you wanted?"

"Well, so long as you want it, too." He examined Hiei's face but, as usual, it was unreadable.

Red eyes gazed at him, unblinking. "I want you to be happy," he said after a moment.

Kurama smiled—Hiei sounded so sweet, so unlike himself. "Hiei, would you like to go do something?"

"Such as?" he asked, draining his cup.

"I don't know." He grinned. "Perhaps we could kiss again?"

* * *

"I've got it," Yusuke said. "You got laid last night."

"What?!" The Detective had been trying all day to guess the origin of Kurama's euphoric mood, but this suggestion startled him.

"Come on, man. The look on your face—"

"Yusuke," he interrupted. "How would you know what the look on a man's face is after he's had a pleasurable night?"

The smirk disappeared from Yusuke's face. "Uhh…"

"I see," Kurama said pointedly. "I imagine that is information that you don't wish to volunteer?"

"Uh—Yeah."

"And that's quite understandable. It's a private matter. Now, I won't intrude on your privacy, if you don't intrude on mine." He smiled wryly. "Besides, you should be thankful that for once I'm in a good mood."

"Uh, what are you talking about, Kurama?" Yusuke asked good-naturedly. "You're one of the least moody people I know."

He snorted. "Thank you, Yusuke, but I don't buy hollow flattery. I realize I haven't behaved my best lately. I've been …" He shrugged. "It's been a bit of a rough time for me. I've lashed out at you, and I apologize."

"Uh, that's okay—"

"No, it's not. I'll try not to do it again."

"Thanks," Yusuke said, looking out the window. "But you just drove past my place."

* * *

"When will you be home?" Hiei asked.

"Around five-thirty," he replied. He watched the Jaganshi. "Hiei, if you want to see me tomorrow, why not stay here for the night?"

"What?"

"My mother's invited you for dinner before; I doubt she would mind. And you could sleep with me."

Hiei blinked. "Aren't you rushing things?" he asked awkwardly.

The Fox blushed. "That's … not what I meant. I can set up a futon in my room for you."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to." Hiei looked reluctant. "Please?" He kissed him on the cheek. "That is, unless you have somewhere else you need to be? I won't interject—"

"No, I don't have to be elsewhere." Hiei pursed his lips. "Just, what am I supposed to do while you're gone?"

Kurama actually laughed. "Well, you could do whatever you did while on parole." He earned a filthy look. "I was joking. I wouldn't want you to feel imprisoned again in any way." The Fox thought a moment. "You could read while I'm gone," he suggested wittily.

"Hn."

"Of course, you don't have to stay if you don't want to. I'll understand."

Hiei narrowed his eyes; a guilt trip. Perhaps that wasn't Kurama's intention, but knowing the Fox, one could never be sure. He sure as hell hadn't expected that kiss. But he wouldn't fall for it … "Fine." Damn it.

* * *

"Hiei?"

The fire demon's head snapped upright. That was Kurama's voice. He quickly hid the evidence of his activity, scrambled off his friend's bed, and migrated to the window sill to adopt an indifferent, reclining position.

Moments later Kurama walked through the door. "Hello, Hiei. How was your day?"

He quirked an eyebrow, and shrugged. He'd observed earlier, when the woman and the boy came home, that such greetings were customary among humans. He wondered if anyone ever replied in the negative. "Yours?" It also seemed a custom to return the greeting.

"It could have been worse," he said casually, sitting down on his bed. He paused, brow furrowed, and stood back up. "What?" he exclaimed aloud, pulling back the covers. Then he threw Hiei a look.

Hiei didn't notice immediately, but when he caught it out of the corner of his eye he did a double take. "What?"

Kurama shook his head, lips curling into a smile. "Hiei, I'm happy that you have an exquisite taste for literature, but I don't appreciate the feeling of a large pointy book poking me." He deposited _The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe_ onto the desk. "Don't feel you have to hide that from me. He wrote some very fine stuff."

"Hn." The book was huge, the print not large; he hadn't gotten too far. What he read had a darker air to it. He kind of liked it. Of course, there was no need to tell Kurama that.

"Hiei?"

"What?"

"I … I'd prefer not to wear this suit the remainder of the day. Unless you're uncomfortable, I'd like to change clothes now."

Hiei smirked. "Why would I be uncomfortable? It's nothing I haven't seen before."

'Fair enough,' Kurama thought. He'd gotten so used to ningen standards of modesty—but of course he couldn't forget the reputation he had—justifiably—earned in the Makai, and surely Hiei had heard of it too.

The Koorime found himself watching the Fox again, eying his body. He felt strange doing so, almost guilty in a way. The flesh was attractive and repelling at the same time; he admired it, but was reluctant to admit so. Still, it was not exactly easy to avert his eyes.

If Kurama knew Hiei was looking at him, he did not display it. He quickly dressed in more relaxed attire, and then turned around, appearing nonchalant. "Well then," he said, breaking the silence. "Have you conferred with my family at all?"

"Why would I?"

"It's just the custom, I suppose."

He closed his eyes. "I've noticed that these ningen observe some pretty ridiculous ones."

"They evidently do not think so."

"It's all so false. They pretend to be happy all the time."

"He didn't," Kurama argued, pointing at the book on the desk. Hiei fell silent. "They're not so different from you."

"Excuse me?" he growled.

"I'm serious. They too conceal what they feel beneath a mask. Only, due to society's confused emphasis on it, theirs are cheerful ones. Yours, because demons don't care, is more indifferent. But when it all boils down, both are actors."

"And you're not?"

"I never said that." He sat down. "I have my reasons, you know. I think that if they at least knew a little about you, they would accept us easier."

"Whatever happened to being afraid of telling her?"

"I am still. But I think that this is one thing she shouldn't be kept in the dark about." Kurama sighed. "I keep many secrets from her; I'm not eager to add another." Hiei didn't reply. "Of course, perhaps I should wait a little while, until I'm sure about us two?"

"What do you mean, you're sure?"

Kurama pressed his lips together. "It's only been a near two days." It shamed him to say it; he really didn't want to believe it. But when dealing with an affair such as this, caution was an ally.

"Understandable," Hiei said, surprising Kurama. He rose and walked by the Fox, appeared hesitant a moment, and then ran a hand through his hair. Kurama shivered, unsure of exactly why. The display of affection startled him, but it was not entirely unwelcome.

* * *

He sat against the rubble of the old wall, looking outside. Dusk approached; for now, the setting sun cast a dying light in the room, which was beginning to chill. "He's had it all burnt," he lamented. "I saw it before; now I wish I hadn't. Were he not here—never mind that _you _wouldn't be, then—, we could have meshed our skills, you and I; it wouldn't have been difficult." He smiled subtly. "We could have ended everyday like this, just us two, sitting here in our own garden and smelling the air. You smell that? That's the roots and the dirt and the rain, that fresh earthy smell. It lingers still, in spite of the fire. We could smell all the lovely scents, and it would be our garden, our paradise."

The smile, faint as it had been, disappeared. "Then again, what paradise has this life to offer? One that is pleasant but at the same time acidic; tart, like the fruit. We taste it, and the illusion ends, reality sets in. But perhaps that is better, in the long run?" He heaved a small sigh. "This cannot be our rapture; soon the rich smells of all that is natural shall be replaced with the putridity of blood and death and rot. Eat the fruit; know that such delicious paradise in this life just cannot be."

* * *

He rolled over and cracked an eyelid, then opened both eyes when he realized he was being watched. "Can you not sleep well?" he inquired.

"I'm fine," Hiei replied from the futon.

Kurama rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. "Hiei, it's early morning, the middle of the night. Are you normally awake at this hour?"

"Did you know you were twitching in your sleep?"

"I was dreaming," he clarified, looking over his friend—boyfriend. "Are you cold? You're shivering."

"I'm fine," he repeated, drawing his blanket about him. "What are you doing?" Kurama had risen from bed, massaging the shoulder he'd lain on for the better part of the night.

"You're cold; I'm shutting the window."

"I never said I was cold."

"Fine, then I'm cold, if that protects your ego." He paused at the widow, inhaling deeply. "It's rather wet this morning," he commented after a few moments. "Smell that? That fresh earthy smell? That's the roots and the dirt and the rain." He glanced over at Hiei, a smile spreading across his face, growing wider as he observed the odd look he received from the Jaganshi. "There," he declared, shutting the window. "You should feel warmer soon."

"Hn." Kurama smiled, and approached Hiei's bedside.

"You look cute this way," he said, referring to the men's shirt he lent Hiei. It was too large for his petite frame, reminding Kurama of a child.

Hiei glared. "Go back to bed, Kurama. You act weird this early."

Kurama laughed. "Okay, Hiei. Good night." He kissed him on the forehead and returned to his bed.

He thought he heard a grumbled, "It's morning, Fox," before drifting back to sleep.

* * *

"Have you dissected anything yet?" Yusuke asked.

"Ew, no."

"But you do realize that you'll have to?"

"That's not true!" Kuwabara protested. "Uh, right?" he asked Keiko.

"I …think you do," she answered. "Or at least watch."

"Gross. Poor frog."

"Uh, I don't think it's just a frog. You'll probably have to watch ones done on livestock and pets and stuff too."

"Yeah," Yusuke said evilly. "Like cats and kittens, I'll bet."

"You're sick, Urameshi!" the carrot-top snapped.

"The animals aren't alive when they cut them open, are they?" Yukina asked.

"Don't worry. If they tried that, the college would probably be overthrown by animal rights activists."

"Took you long enough!" Yusuke declared to Kurama. "Where've you been?"

"You never said that I needed to arrive promptly at noon," the Fox said defensively. "Just, 'around lunchtime,' you said. And I would have come sooner, but I was delayed. _He_ didn't want to come." Kurama gestured to his companion.

Kuwabara snickered. "Hey, Shrimp, since when do you take orders?"

Hiei glared. "Nobody 'ordered' me to come here," he said coolly, taking a seat next to Kurama, so he sat on the outer edge of the booth. "There just wasn't anything edible in Kurama's house."

"What, are you living with him now or something?" Kuwabara teased.

"Maybe," he replied indifferently. Several eyebrows were quirked.

"Hiei's been visiting," Kurama said quickly.

"Oh, what's this?" Yusuke asked in a mock-offended tone. "You visit Fox-boy, but the rest of us are chopped liver?" Hiei didn't answer.

A waitress came to take their order. Hiei, at Kurama's prodding, ordered a hamburger, while the Fox himself said he'd have a salad. "Watching yourself for your girlfriend?" Yusuke joked after the waitress left.

Kurama blinked. "What?"

"Huh?" Keiko and Kuwabara asked at the same time.

"Kurama's been acting weird at work for like the past several weeks," Yusuke explained. "You know, kind of goofy? I'm guessing a girlfriend, but I haven't gotten him to talk."

"Oh, yeah?" Kuwabara grinned. "Who is she, Kurama?"

"She's nobody," Kurama replied honestly. "She doesn't exist."

"Uh-huh," Yusuke said. "Sure."

"Perhaps it's one of these two, Kurama?" Hiei said suddenly. "They converse like girls."

"Excuse me?!" Keiko demanded. "That's sexist stereotyping!" Hiei shrugged, ignoring the icy stares he received from both Keiko and Yukina.

"Mukuro gossips?" Kurama asked.

"Only recently," he grumbled. 'And everyone else in that damned fortress.' At the one-month anniversary, he and Kurama decided they were officially in a 'relationship.' Hiei informed Mukuro, feeling a need to explain his frequent trips to Ningenkai. Somehow, his confession had leaked, and now everyone found it most amusing how cold, hard-shelled Hiei had a love interest. What morons his demonic peers could be; Hiei supposed he may as well move back to Ningenkai permanently, and spend the rest of his days keeping company with people like the Detective and the Fool. Of course, Hiei would never actually do that. 'You could tell them, if you want,' he told the Fox telepathically.

'Are you sure?' Kurama responded.

'What do I care what they think? When have I ever cared?' Hiei smirked. 'Besides, you could consider it practice for telling your family.'

"Are you okay, Kurama?" Yukina asked. "You look kind of pale…."

'Are you nervous?' Hiei asked, amused.

'Shut up.' He smiled at the ice maiden. "Of course I'm okay, Yukina. Thank you." 'You enjoy putting me on the spot, don't you?'

'Call it overdue payback.'

'For what?' he protested.

'Must I go into detail? We may be here for some time, if it comes to that.'

The food came; conversation quieted a little as everyone began to eat. "So, Urameshi, what movie are we all going to see?" Kuwabara asked.

"I dunno."

"Oh," Keiko volunteered. "We could go see—"

"Nuh-uh!" Yusuke interrupted. "We all know your taste in movies, which is why _you_ don't get to pick this time."

"What are they going on about?" Hiei muttered.

"I don't know," Kurama said, taking a bite of salad.

'Does watching yourself for me taste good?'

"Ow!" Kuwabara suddenly exclaimed. "Who kicked me?"

'Oops.'

Hiei quirked an eyebrow. 'Was that intended for me?' Kurama chose not to answer. 'You take yourself too seriously; I think you look great, even _if_ all your clothes are huge on me.'

'I'm sorry, Hiei, I'll buy some clothes your size.' He smiled. 'Though I may get lost—it's been a long time since I bought anything in a children's store.'

"What the?!" Yusuke cried. "Kuwabara, I already told you, I didn't kick you. So don't kick me!"

'Damn it,' Hiei thought to himself. Kurama caught the Koorime's expression, and smirked.

"What's so funny?" Yusuke asked. The smirk became a chuckle. "Did you kick me?" he demanded. Kurama bit back his humor, and pointed to Hiei.

"Figures," Kuwabara said. "I'll bet you kicked me too, huh? Real mature, Shorty."

"Ask Kurama," Hiei replied. The redhead hid his mouth with one hand.

"You guys are being weird," Yusuke said. Kuwabara nodded in agreement.

"At least I'm not making secret plans in front of excluded company," Kurama shot back.

"Huh? Oh, Kuwabara and the girls and I plan to go see a movie next weekend."

"You can come too, if you want," Keiko invited.

"Yeah," Kuwabara chimed in, smiling mischievously. "You could bring your _girlfriend_, and it'd be like a triple date."

Kurama sighed. "I told you, I don't have a—" but he broke off as an idea struck him, and grinned. "I appreciate the offer, but I just don't think that Hiei would enjoy having to sit amongst that many humans for that long."

For a moment, nothing happened. And then Yusuke choked. "Whoa!" he gasped, eyes watering, soda dribbling from his nose. "Hang on a minute. _What _did you just say?"

"… Either Kurama just told us he's _gay_," Kuwabara muttered. "Or all this time Hiei's really been a _wo_—Ow! Quit kicking me!" He glared at Hiei, who glared right back.

The Fox smiled slyly, enjoying this much more than he thought he would. "Believe me, Kuwabara," he said, purposely using a suggestive tone that would have seemed much more native to Yoko than Shuichi, "he's all man."

"Uh …" Yusuke said uneasily. "So, it wasn't a girl you've been all ditzy over, it was—him?" Kurama nodded, kissing Hiei on the cheek—nothing wrong with a little theatrics. "Oh. That's, uh, great."

"Quit being a baby, Yusuke," Keiko said. "How long have you two been an item?" she asked Kurama sweetly.

"A little over a month," he replied.

Kuwabara furrowed his brow and did some quick math. "Wait a minute," he said slowly. "So that time you and him and I went out to eat and I joked that you guys were on a date, and you said you were—you weren't joking?"

"Perhaps." Kuwabara blinked.

"He's not dating you too, is he?" Yusuke asked the carrot-top.

"Yusuke!" Keiko said angrily. "That was rude!"

"It's fine, Keiko," Kurama assured her.

"Does your mother know?" Yusuke asked.

Kurama pursed his lips. "Ah, no, she doesn't."

"Well," Kuwabara said, yawning. "Your mom's a pretty cool woman, I don't think she'll freak or anything. Anyways, I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I've got places to go, things to do, with my special lady—"

"Who'd that be, your sister?" Yusuke snickered.

"Uh, no. Remember the girl sitting right there? Yukina, duh—Ow! _Quit it!_" he growled at Hiei.

The Koorime stared back at him, having donned an expression of pure innocence—well, as pure of innocence as one like Hiei may manage. "What?" he asked, seemingly confused by Kuwabara's demeanor.

Kurama couldn't help himself, and smiled, though he did pity poor Kuwabara. "Yes, well, I suppose us two shall be going also." He took the fire demon's hand in his own as they stood up. A few odd glances were aimed their way, but either they didn't notice or they didn't care.

"Yeah, uh, yeah," Yusuke rambled at they left, apparently still digesting the news. "So, I guess you must have enjoyed it during the old days, huh? During our fights?"

"What?"

"You know—watching the three of us out there, shirtless and sweaty and flexing our muscles, right?"

The Fox began to laugh, coughing to cover it up. "Well, _perhaps_ you're right," he said slowly. "But only one third of the way. No offense, you two," he said wryly, smiling, "but I'm attracted to—Oh, how should I word this?—attractive men."

"Hey!" they both protested.

Hiei, seeing Kurama's angle, smirked. "It sounds like you're both offended that he's not attracted to either of you." He wrapped an arm around the Fox's waist and said, in a tone that was soft but still loud enough for everyone to hear, "Perhaps they secretly lust after you, Kurama?"

"Hey!"

* * *

The evening air was intoxicating, heavy with nature's summer perfume. Kurama took a whiff, enjoying it, but his mind seemed split between here and elsewhere. Hiei noticed, and asked about it.

"I'm thinking of my parents—thinking my preparations on telling them."

"Nothing dramatic happened with the others."

"The others are…" He shrugged. "Not my parents."

"Is it really that big a deal?"

Kurama began to say something, but stopped. Instead, the couple settled into a comfortable silence, sitting beside each other, watching as everything around them darkened with the impending night. "It won't be tonight," he finally said, leaning against the Koorime. "And it's too lovely an evening to grow head-heavy with anxiety. "You know what we should do sometime? We should have dinner in a garden, at this time of day, and maybe some music, and kissing…"

"You're a sap," Hiei remarked.

"Probably."

"We don't need anything so ornate; we're already in a huge garden—alone..."

"Is this an invitation?" Hiei merely smiled, one hand grabbing Kurama's hair and pulling him down.

* * *

"I'm telling you, that girl at the mall was checking you out!"

"You think so?" Shuichi asked.

"Uh, are you blind? She was making goo-goo eyes and everything!"

He grinned, following his friends down the street. His parents would probably scold him for coming home late, but his friends didn't want to leave the mall, and they'd all been having such a good time. Perhaps getting in trouble would be worth it.

If that was the worse thing that happened to him, he'd be pretty happy. Lately things had been going quite well for him—with his step-brother's occasional help, he was excelling in school, and there were even jokes spreading around among students and faculty that Shuichi Hatanaka may well be the next Shuichi Minamino. He kind of liked the though of it; he was sure his parents would be pleased with the idea of him attending Meiou just like the elder Shuichi had.

It helped that his brother wasn't behaving so strangely anymore. He never was normal, what with his prodigy mind and impeccable manner and the like—but he no longer worried anyone. His job appeared to be less of a trouble to him, as he no longer worked at all on the weekends. Shuichi liked it because they'd been going on outings of sorts, sometimes the entire family, depending on his parents' schedules, sometimes just them two. And then sometimes his brother's friend Hiei joined them. It felt a little odd, as Hiei didn't talk much, but his brother obviously enjoyed the company—and whether or not the elder Shuichi was in a good mood generally affected whether or not he'd be willing to aid the younger Shuichi when he requested it.

The group of boys cut through the park, the majority of them rapidly approaching their curfews. "Hey!" one of Shuichi's friends exclaimed, pointing. "Check out the two fags!"

Shuichi absently looked in the direction the other by gestured to. He then froze, completely stunned. His lips moved, as though to form some phrase of astonishment, but no sound came out.

His step-brother sat on a bench, under a large Sakura. Hiei sat next to him. Shuichi couldn't see their faces in detail, as the two men's heads appeared attached by the lips, sharing more than just a simple kiss.

* * *

"Are you sure that you don't want to come in?" he asked disappointedly.

"I'll come back later," Hiei replied. "I just—"

"—need your space," Kurama finished. The Jaganshi shrugged, not about to deny it. "You'll come back later?" he asked, though he was more than happy that Hiei chose to spend so much time here with him as it was, when he knew that the other could be spending that time in Makai. "You'll come back later?"

"Isn't that what I said? I'll come back sometime tonight." Hiei paused halfway down the walk. "Kurama?"

"Yes?"

"Save me some dinner."

A smile spread across Kurama's face. "Of course," he said, and then he turned around and went into the house.

"Is that you, Shuichi?" Shiori called as he shut the door.

"Yes, Mother." Kurama discarded his shoes and entered the kitchen, where the Hatanaka family was already eating.

"You're late," she chided gently as he filled his plate and took a seat at the table.

"I know; I'm sorry. I lost track of time."

"Shiori, I believe you and I are losing our grip on this household," Kazuya joked. "Both of our boys are roaming the streets after dark- who knows what they're doing?"

"I was just out walking," Kurama volunteered. "In the park. That one on the way to work?"

"Ah." Kazuya nodded. "And where were you?" he asked Shuichi.

"With some friends. We went to the mall."

"Oh. The arcades," his father said knowingly.

"Well, we weren't there the entire time. We went to the park, too." Shuichi paused, and then added, offhandedly, "We saw two guys making out."

Kurama choked on his food, coughing, but quickly regained control before either parent noticed.

"So you were too busy gawking at a gay couple to keep track of the time?" Kazuya asked, eyebrow quirked.

Shuichi didn't answer; when Kurama looked up from his plate he saw the boy looking straight at him, and suddenly felt a little queasy.

Conversation switched to other topics, everyone contributing, save Kurama. He picked on his food while listening to the words exchanged, but offered very little of his own. When their meal had ended, the redhead quickly volunteered to clean up.

Shiori stayed behind, watching Kurama clear the table. "I have everything covered, Mother," he said, sensing her behind him.

"You were rather quiet at dinner," she commented.

"Oh. Well, I'm just a little tired."

"You barely touched your food."

"Ah, I'm not that hungry." He forced a small laugh. "I hope I'm not getting sick," he jested. She didn't laugh.

"Perhaps I'm just a little tired—I believe I'll go lie down after I'm done here, okay?"

"Of course," Shiori said approvingly. Kurama breathed a small sigh when he heard her leave. He needed to brush up on his acting skills, it appeared—his mother had been picking up on a lot of his more negative feelings lately.

Perhaps there'd been another pair of same-sex lovers in the park tonight? He dismissed that notion quickly. The thought was possible, but the look Shuichi gave him during dinner was clear: He was busted. Kurama wandered upstairs into his room, and lay down on his bed. How to deal with this current situation?

Absently, he glanced toward the window, at the vacant futon. Kurama had observed that Hiei seemed to prefer room to breathe, so to speak, so the Fox had conducted some minor furniture rearrangement, moving his bed over and situating Hiei's futon by the window. The Jaganshi hadn't commented, but he'd displayed some non-verbal signs of appreciation for the change.

Suddenly he smiled, noticing something Hiei must have left out. He retrieved Mr. Poe and sat back down, looking to see how far his companion had read:

"_We stand upon the brink of a precipice. We peer into the abyss- we grow sick and dizzy. Our first impulse is to shrink from the danger. Unaccountably we remain. By slow degrees our sickness and dizziness and horror become merged in a cloud of unnamable feeling. By gradations, still more imperceptible, this cloud assumes shape, as did the vapor from the bottle out of which arose the genius in the Arabian Nights. But out of this our cloud upon the precipice's edge, there grows into palpability, a shape, far more terrible than any genius or any demon of a tale, and yet it is but a thought, although a fearful one, and one which chills the very marrow of our bones with the fierceness of the delight of its horror. It is merely the idea of what would be our sensations during the sweeping precipitancy of a fall from such a height. And this fall- this rushing annihilation- for the very reason that it involves that one most ghastly and loathsome of all the most ghastly and loathsome images of death and suffering which have ever presented themselves into our imagination- for this very cause do we now the most vividly desire it. And because our reason violently deters us from the brink, therefore do we most impetuously approach it. There is no passion in nature so demoniacally impatient, as that of him who, shuddering upon the edge of a precipice, thus meditates a plunge. To indulge, for a moment, in any attempt at thought, is to be inevitably lost; for reflection but urges us to forbear, and therefore it is, I say, that we cannot. If there be no friendly arm to check us, or if we fail in a sudden effort to prostrate ourselves backward from the abyss, we plunge, and are destroyed."_

"What are you doing?" a voice asked casually. Kurama looked up from the book, meeting Shuichi's eyes with an even gaze.

"Just reading," he replied, gesturing to the book, setting it down on the bed. "How are you?"

"Did you see those guys in the park?" asked Shuichi, ignoring Kurama's question.

"It's a rather large park."

"So you didn't?"

"It was getting dark; are you sure you did?" retorted Kurama, slightly annoyed.

"I saw their faces well enough."

"Your point?"

Shuichi shrugged. "My friends kind of freaked out, seeing two fags going at it."

"That's a vulgar term," the Kitsune admonished. "And I would hope _you'd_ be too educated to pollute your mouth in such a way."

"I'm just saying what they said."

"Then don't be such a sponge," he said coolly.

"Well, we just weren't expecting to see—"

"—'two fags going at it'?" Kurama cut him off. "Oh well. It won't make one's eyes fall from their sockets."

"I guess."

"Really? You don't sound so sure." He was in no mood for this. "Not to cut this fascinating conversation short, but as I stated to Mother downstairs, I don't feel my best; I'm going to bed. Good night." Kurama nonchalantly escorted his step-brother out of his room, closing the door after him.

"What was _that_ about?"

Startled, Kurama spun around. Hiei had returned, standing on the windowsill, observing him curiously. He stepped off the sill and sat down on the futon, never taking his eyes off the other while he moved.

Kurama also sat. He took a deep breath, and then let it out. "We've been outed," he said, smiling wistfully.

"What?" Hiei asked, not comprehending his words.

"It's slang. It means we've been exposed. My brother and his friends saw us two kissing earlier."

"So?"

"_So? _So it means that Shuichi knows. I don't believe he would tell our parents on purpose—"

"If he wishes his tongue to remain where it is presently, he won't," Hiei grumbled.

"—but I also don't doubt the possibility that it may slip from him by accident."

Hiei examined the redhead. "What do you want to do, then?" he asked.

The Fox shrugged, and commenced pacing about the room. He glanced at Hiei, and abruptly began to laugh nervously. "Perhaps I really _am_ sick. I didn't even sense your arrival."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Kurama?" he said uncertainly.

"Perhaps," Kurama began slowly, thoughtfully, "the best course of action is to explain our relationship to my parents ourselves, as soon as possible, before they discover it by other means. Honest, clear communication is probably our best choice right now—what do you think?"

Hiei merely nodded, hoping he appeared reassuring. He wasn't familiar with issues of the familial genre. "Perhaps you shouldn't brood on this enough tonight," he suggested.

"Yes," agreed the Kitsune. "Yes." He absently undressed, folding his clothes and placing them on that chair by his desk. He turned, and a bit of his pensiveness dissipated at the sight of Hiei buttoning his pajama shirt.

The Koorime looked up; Kurama stared at him, his expression amused. "Good night, Kurama," he said, before the redhead could comment on his appearance in the nightshirt too large for him.

He covered his mouth with one hand, in a feeble attempt to disguise his smile. "Good night, Hiei."

After the light had been turned out and both had situated themselves upon their mattresses, a thought occurred to the Fox. "Hiei, you haven't eaten."

"I'm fine," the Koorime replied drowsily.

"Are you sure? I could—"

"Good night, Kurama," Hiei repeated.


	9. Chapter IX

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter IX  
June 9, 12, 16, 23, and 25, 2005  
Edited: June 17, 2007  
(Again: December 4, 2007)

"Uh, how's Hiei?" Yusuke asked.

"He's fine," answered Kurama. "How's Keiko?"

"Good."

"And what about your marriage plans?" asked the Fox, unable to suppress his skepticism on the matter.

"Uh, we're thinking about it." Yusuke didn't go further into it, having previously detected Kurama's attitude toward the entire idea. "Hey … Akira told me earlier to tell you good luck from him."

"He did?"

"Yeah." He waited a few moments, and then looked over at Kurama. The redhead sat back in the driver's seat, both hands idly resting upon the steering wheel, green eyes dimly watching the street in front of them. He hadn't even turned on any music. Silence smothered the car's interior, making Yusuke ill at ease. "So, what's the good luck for?" he ventured.

Kurama appeared thoughtful, and then exhaled slowly. "Something that I'm not so comfortable doing, but I need to do anyhow." He smiled slightly. "I'm sure that didn't answer your question, did it? I'm sorry. I'd explain it to you right now, but I'm kind of nervous. I'll tell you later, if you don't mind?"

"Um, yeah. Whatever makes you comfortable." A thought struck him—perhaps Kurama referred to intercourse?—but he quickly decided that wasn't it. He wouldn't think his friend would openly talk about that sort of thing to someone at work.

They'd reached Yusuke's building. "Thanks, man," said Yusuke as he got out. "Oh, and good luck, on whatever it is."

Another smile emerged on his face. "Thank you, Yusuke," he said appreciatively before leaving.

* * *

"Maybe we should do this some other time," Shuichi said uncertainly, eyeing Kurama's car in the driveway.

"Come on," one of his friends whined. "Your parents aren't home, right?"

"Uh, but it looks like my brother's home."

This earned a snort. "Shuichi Minamino? Won't he be too busy doing a science experiment or something?"

"I don't think so; he's graduated."

"Oh, come on, enough yakking. He's a guy too, maybe he'll watch with us—that's what _my_ older brother would do."

"I don't know—"

"Let's go already!" Somebody opened the door, and Shuichi found himself being shoved into his own house.

"Where's your VCR?"

"Who's there?" He froze when he heard his brother's voice.

"Uh, it's just me," he replied.

"Is that your brother?"

"Uh, yeah." Shuichi chewed his lip. "Uh, VCR's over there," he pointed. He took off in search of his brother, only to collide with him in the hall as he emerged from the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?!" Shuichi hissed, panicked.

Kurama gave him an odd look. "I _live_ here. Why?"

"Hey, Shuichi! What do you have to eat?"

"Who's out there?" the redhead inquired. He walked past Shuichi, toward the living room.

"Wait!" Shuichi tried, but his step-brother didn't listen.

"What's going on out here?" Kurama asked, examining the group of strange boys—friends of Shuichi, he wagered.

Nobody answered. In fact, they appeared to be staring at him. "Are you Shuichi Minamino?" one of them asked finally.

"Yes," he said cautiously. He looked behind him. "Did Mother and Kazuya grant you permission to have this gathering?" he asked Shuichi.

"Uh…"

"Hey Shuichi, how come you didn't say hi to your brother the other night?" someone spoke up boorishly. "Does he get mad if you interrupt his make-out sessions?"

One red eyebrow rose skeptically. "Pardon?"

"Hey, is your boyfriend here too?" another boy jeered, fumbling with a videotape.

Kurama narrowed his eyes. "What is that?" He glanced at Shuichi, immediately noticing how he looked to the floor rather than meet his gaze. His suspicions rose.

"Hey!" the kid with the video exclaimed as Kurama's thief hands quickly snatched it.

The Fox read the tape's label, and gave the juveniles a detached look. "I would suggest you all depart to your respectable—and mind you, I use that term quite loosely—homes," he said coldly, turning his back on the group.

"What about my tape?" the boy demanded.

"I'm confiscating it."

"What?" he whined. "You wouldn't be interested in anything on it—there's no guys or little kids-"

"I would suggest you hold your tongue on subjects you know nothing about!" Kurama snarled, temper rising. "You apparently saw the 'two fags going at it' the other night—not a pervert and a child." Even if Hiei probably did wear child-sized apparel, but presently he couldn't find humor in that. "As for the tape, you certainly aren't old enough to have purchased this … material, yourself. I'll surrender it when an _adult _comes to claim it. Now perhaps you all should heed my suggestion, and leave? Or should I call your parents?"

Everyone quickly scattered at the mention of parents. "Didn't know your brother was a fag," someone muttered to Shuichi on their way out. Kurama bristled, but made an effort to shrug it off, struggling to keep in mind that the insult came from the mouth of a stupid adolescent boy.

Shuichi shut the door after his friends left. He turned around, dreading what his brother might do or say.

"Do you think either of our parents would be thrilled to discover you were planning to watch this in their house?" the redhead asked, holding up the video tape. "And now I wonder just what you do while over at your friends' homes?"

Shuichi swallowed. "Ah…"

"I won't tell them."

He blinked. "What?"

Kurama shrugged. "I have better things to do at the moment." In truth, his only reason for his silence was because, for his intentions, he really didn't want either parent in a negative mood.

"Fag." The insult, despite his efforts to disregard it, made him seethe. He narrowed his eyes, silently yelling at himself for being upset over a mere word—for that was all it was—simply a sound with a meaning. Humanity had indeed softened him—or perhaps his demonic pride had grown more acute. "What delightful company you keep," he told Shuichi cynically. The tone in his voice was Yoko-cold. Not bothering to search his brother's composure for some sign of a reaction, he withdrew from the living room, stepping into the backyard.

His frame of mind didn't change with the scenery. Shuichi was at an age where, to a sad too many, acceptance and popularity was what mattered most—why would he expect the boy to come to the defense of his "fag" brother, and thus be singled out his own self? Not enough people dared to do that, and as a consequence the human race in its entirety appeared to be little more than a mass of dumb animals, simply following the herd. No wonder so many demons sought to devour this world, like predators of the wilderness would a pasture full of sheep.

But who led this herd? Kurama suspected it was not a person at all.

He sighed, massaging his brow with one hand. Now was no time to ponder on man's ills. He had to prepare himself for when his mother and step-father came home.

* * *

"You're sure that you want to do it this way?" Hiei asked.

"I think it's best if I approach them on this matter alone. I doubt you'd be comfortable in that type of situation anyhow, but they are my family, so I'll take care of it."

"And what if things go the wrong way?"

Kurama did not answer right away. Indeed, he looked rather troubled. "Well," he said softly, "I suppose the worst thing that can happen is that they cannot accept it, that they cannot accept me, save kick me out (though I suppose I beat them there) and disown me, or something. But at least that is all that can happen—were I still a minor, things could be different."

"How?" asked the Jaganshi.

A hollow laugh emitted from Kurama. "Hiei, you don't want to know. There's a lot of injustice in this world, and sometimes the innocent suffer at the hands of those you'd least expect. It's horrible, but it does happen … Anyways, I suppose we're fortunate—that scenario won't play here." He smiled reassuringly. "Forgive me if I sound rude—I really don't intend to—but as I said, you should take off for a day or two. You could hang out somewhere in Ningenkai if you want—"

"Hn," snorted Hiei.

"—or go home, go to your home, I mean, in Makai," Kurama finished, stumbling over his tongue just a little bit.

Hiei mulled over the thought for a minute or two. "You're sure?" he asked again.

"Yes," he answered in a soft, yet firm tone.

Again, Hiei didn't answer immediately. "Fine," he said finally. "But I'm coming back tomorrow."

"As you wish," the Fox replied, smiling.

"Do you even know what to say?"

"I have all day; I'm sure something will come to me."

* * *

Kurama saw neither hide nor hair of his younger brother the remainder of the day. He didn't necessarily care, though. He hadn't lied to Shuichi when he informed him that he had better things to do.

Around ten o'clock he heard his mother and step-father came home. He heaved a sigh, but knew he had to go through with this.

He found them downstairs in the living room, watching the news as they normally did in the evening. "How was your night?" Kurama asked politely.

"It was fine, thank you," Shiori answered warmly. "Did you and your brother eat?"

"Yes," he said, though he had no idea if Shuichi had or not. "Ah, I was wondering if I could discuss something with you. With the both of you?"

Shiori and Kazuya exchanged glances. "Of course," his mother said. "What is it?"

The redhead pursed his lips, brow furrowed in thought. "Well, I … I want to move out," he said carefully.

His mother blinked. "What?"

"I have a place in mind," Kurama continued. "An acquaintance of mine told me about it."

"That's … nice," she said slowly. "But if you don't mind, may I ask why you want to move out? Is it something in particular…?"

"Nothing that you did," he said hastily, knowing that was what she wanted to ask. "I want to because I'm—I think I'm in love."

For a moment, no one said anything. And then: "That's wonderful, Shuichi!" Shiori exclaimed, smiling at him.

"Thank you," he replied, returning her smile.

"That's great," Kazuya told him. "Who is it?"

And now, the more difficult question. "Uh," he began. 'Lovely transition,' he thought sarcastically. "Well, you know them."

"Secretive, are we?" Shiori teased. He just smiled, rather uncomfortable, as he watched the two contemplating over the identity of his love interest. Perhaps this was cruel; he'd never dated while in school—he'd never even had any close female friends—and so this type of situation had never occurred before.

"I'm sorry, Shuichi," Kazuya said after several minutes. "I'm drawing a blank."

"Same here," his mother agreed. "Who is she?"

Kurama swallowed. "Uh, th-there is no she," he stammered, heat rising to his face.

Shiori furrowed her brow. "What?"

He coughed. "There is no she," he repeated. "I—." 'I'm gay?' That would be a term they'd understand—would that work? "Rather, _he_: I'm gay."

A simple sentence, really. A mere two words, assuming one used conjunctives and didn't stutter. And yet, for so many, that specific sentence could be one of the most uplifting, relieving sentences in existence. Or it could be one of the most stressful and terrifying. Or it could be a complex combination of the first two options. For Kurama, this was the latter.

Silence settled over the living room, a silence that tightened Kurama's stomach and dried his throat. He took a deep breath, feeling strangely calm, waiting in anticipation for a response yet at the same time dreading one. "Mother?" he asked softly.

She looked up. "Yes, Shuichi?" He was unable to read her tone.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

For what, indeed. "I'm not sure," he confessed. "Not for _him_—for not telling you until now, I suppose. Granted, this piece of news is still kind of fresh to me also." He fell silent once more, waiting for either love or reproach, but feeling he may go mad if not given some form of reaction soon. "As I said," he said weakly, frightened that he couldn't interpret his parents' expressions, "there is a place I'm interested in. If I like it, I'll be moving in—and, uh, _he'll_ be living with me." He paused. "I just thought I'd tell you sooner rather than later."

"Is it Hiei?" Shiori asked abruptly, voicing the question on both her and Kazuya's minds.

Her tone remained unreadable. He tensed; her question was reasonable enough, but he wished she would deliver him some reaction, be it positive or negative. "Yes," he replied. "It is. But we haven't done anything!" he added hastily, blushing as he made this statement. "This is your house; I wouldn't do such things behind your back."

Shiori appeared contemplative. "I see…" she said slowly. "And Hiei makes you happy?"

"Yes," he answered promptly. 'Don't torture me anymore,' he pleaded silently. 'Say, "I love you," "I hate you"—anything, but please, say something other than interrogations.'

"Well then," his mother said slowly. "So long as you're happy, then that's really all that matters." Her tone was its warm self again.

He couldn't help but curl his lips into a small relieved smile. "Thank you," he said.

"For what? What sort of parent would I be if I turned you away for being in love?"

"Yes, Shuichi," Kazuya agreed. "You're an adult; we trust that you can make your own choices. But you don't have to move out just because you want to be with Hiei."

"He's not my sole motive," he admitted, feeling like a great weight had just been lifted from it. "The time feels right for change."

* * *

"Why didn't I ever realize it before?" Shiori speculated.

Kazuya shrugged. "Maybe he hadn't realized it either. Or he was afraid. Some parents don't take this news so well."

"He keeps a lot from me," she lamented.

"He doesn't want to be a burden."

She nodded absently. Shuichi always volunteered to do things for her, without asking for a thing in return. "You don't think he was … influenced, do you?"

"I don't think so—He was probably born gay."

Shiori nodded again. "I don't want people to treat him differently because of it."

"And neither do I. But there are people out there who might. We can't do much about that, except let Shuichi know that we love him. He has a strong will; I'm sure he'll be fine."

The last sentence made her smile. "I hope you're right." She paused. "He does seem happy when Hiei's around, doesn't he?"

He nodded. "And it's entirely normal for a twenty-year-old man to move out of his mother's house and live on his own. Everyone has to leave the nest at some point."

* * *

"They took it well?" Akira inquired.

"Yes," Kurama said, smiling. "They did."

"You still want to look at the apartment?"

He nodded. "Why are you moving out, anyhow? It's not infested or anything?" he teased.

Akira laughed. "Other than limited space, it's perfectly fine; the only reason I'm leaving is because I've somewhere better to be."

"May I pry?"

He received a smug smile. "A small house, with my girlfriend."

"Oh." His and Akira's motives were similar then.

"When do you want to come see it?"

Kurama thought a moment. "If you wouldn't mind, might I come by this evening?"

The other man shrugged. "I don't have a problem with it."

"Thank you, Akira."

* * *

"You told your mom?" Yusuke asked, not sure if he believed it.

"Yes. She and Kazuya took it quite well."

"What about your brother?"

A faint scowl depreciated the serenity of Kurama's face. "Shuichi already knows. He and his friends saw us."

Yusuke noticed the change in composure. "He didn't take it so well?"

"I don't know—so far he seems more concerned with what his friends think. And, to give you an idea, they're not the best crowd I've ever observed. I caught them sneaking a pornographic video tape into _our_ house; I took it from them, and was called a 'fag' and more or less accused of having an interest in child porn."

"Just what the world needs," Yusuke said sarcastically. "More people like that."

"It_ is _frustrating," he admitted.

Their talk subsided for a bit. That is, until Yusuke decided he'd lighten the mood: "So … Have you and Hiei-?"

"Yusuke," the Fox said gently. "What did I tell you before, about personal matters?"

The other boy laughed nervously. "Oh, yeah. I forgot."

"Uh-huh. _Sure_."

After he dropped off Yusuke, he followed the instructions Akira had written for him, and he found himself in front of an apartment building about a mile and a half from the company building.

Kurama frowned; the building didn't have an elevator, and Akira's apartment was on the third floor. 'Lazy,' he scolded himself. He climbed the stairs and knocked on Akira's door.

"Welcome," Akira greeted him. He gestured for Kurama to come inside. "Take a look around."

He did. The apartment was practically bare—Kurama assumed that Akira was already moved into his girlfriend's home. Currently, they stood in the living room, a space around the size of Kurama's present bedroom. Adjoined to it was a kitchen of near-equal size.

"We get free water," Akira told him. "And there are utilities in the basement; however, they're prone to misbehave. And of course you already know that there is no elevator. Out here is your sky-yard and fire escape." He beckoned Kurama to follow him. Along one wall of the living room was a sliding glass door, which led to a terrace that opened at one end into the series of metal steps going back over itself down the entirety of the building. "I used to keep some plants and stuff out here, but you can do what you like with it." He smiled. It'd be nice to have an area where he could have something resembling a garden.

Following Akira back inside, he was shown the remainder of the apartment. A short hallway contained a closet to the right. To the left was a bathroom—small, but not too so; it came with a little cabinet for towels and such, a toilet and sink of course, and a bathtub/shower.

The hallway's end led to the bedroom. The first think Kurama noticed were the windows, large ones that would let in a lot of light if desired. 'Hiei would like that,' he thought. And just as Akira had said, one could easily open one of the windows and go out onto the fire escape. The only other feature to the room was a closet with gliding doors.

"Told you it was small," Akira declared. "What do you think—or would your boyfriend would want a look too?"

"No, Hiei doesn't care where we live." He mulled over it for a minute. "I think I'll be taking it."

* * *

"Isn't it rather small?" Shiori asked.

"Well, yes," Kurama admitted. "But it's enough room for two people. We'll be comfortable."

She nodded uncertainly. "Do you like it, Hiei?"

The Koorime shrugged. "It has a roof," he muttered. "Isn't that what matters?"

One downside about Kurama's coming out to his parents: they kept trying to include Hiei in _everything_. He wagered it was their gesture of accepting his and the redhead's relationship, but it grew damn annoying how they seemed to want to play parents for_ him _as well.

Kazuya noticed the various boxes strewn about the apartment. "Do you two need any help unpacking?"

"No, thank you though. We'll have everything situated in a few days."

"You're sure? I could send Shuichi over to help you."

"What?" Shuichi asked.

"Oh, that's not necessary," Kurama intervened. I'm sure Shuichi has better things to do, like hang out with his _charming_ friends." While he said this, he gave his brother a very pointed look.

"Do you two need a place to sleep tonight?" asked Shiori.

Kurama shook his head. "We'll be fine. The bed's already been assembled." He took her to his and Hiei's room to prove it.

"There's only one," she commented.

"We only need one, Mother," he said quietly.

She blinked. "Oh," she said simply. "I-I'm sorry," she spluttered.

"Uh, that's okay," he assured her quickly, blushing. "Mother, I get the feeling you're uncomfortable with, ah, this."

"What?" She laughed uneasily. "No, no." Kurama gave her a doubtful look. "Maybe," she admitted. "But not about you and Hiei. This whole moving out ordeal…"

"We'll still see each other," he promised. "And it's not as though I could continue living with you forever, right? Well, that's not entirely correct—I suppose I _could_, but that'd be rather odd after a while…"

"I suppose," she said, examining the bedroom again. "And you two_ will _be happy here, right?" He nodded. "All right then," she said, giving him a weak smile.

They rejoined Hiei, Kazuya, and Shuichi in the living room. "Perhaps we could all go out for dinner?" Kurama suggested.

"Shuichi," Shiori said, observing the kitchen. "You don't have any food."

"Uh, no, I don't. I haven't bought any yet."

"I could take you grocery shopping," she offered.

'Say No, Fox,' Hiei pleaded. He was eager for the ningen to leave them in peace for a bit.

"Okay," Kurama said without hesitation, ignoring Hiei's thoughts.

These thoughts were replaced with a glower. 'Damn you.'

* * *

"Look at it this way, Hiei: Mother's helping us stock the kitchen is her way of dealing with this leaving home thing. It's good for her, I think."

"She'd better be satisfied," Hiei grumbled. "She bought enough to keep us fed for a good while."

"Hm," Kurama muttered absently, eying the Koorime, an odd look on his face. "Do you want to mess with any unpacking tonight?"

Hiei shrugged. "Do you—What are you doing?" Kurama had suddenly draped himself over him, rubbing his face against Hiei's neck.

"Does this offend you?" Kurama asked softly. His tone made Hiei shiver.

"No—" Next he knew, he was pinned against the wall, Kurama's tongue in his mouth. 'This is vaguely familiar,' he thought. But who could complain? Hiei returned the Fox's enthusiasm.

The hallway was a blur as the two stumbled back to the bedroom and fell on the bed. 'When did Hiei lose his shirt?' Kurama wondered. 'When did I lose mine?'

Hiei left a trail of kisses down Kurama's neck and chest, nipping at the flesh here and there. The Fox noticed how his eyes had grown glassy. "Hiei?"

"Shh…" Hiei murmured dazedly, hands fumbling with the zipper of Kurama's jeans while Kurama in turn unbuckled the Jaganshi's belts. Pants were thoughtlessly cast aside, and then underwear. Bare legs entwined; Hiei climbed between Kurama's legs atop him, pressing his body into the mattress.

Kurama writhed under him, he felt crushed. "Hiei—" he tried, but the Koorime's mouth smothered his words.

"Kurama," Hiei gasped, stroking his face. He drank in the details of his lover- the flushed face, the red hair dampened with sweat, the curves of his body, the rising temperature of his flesh…

The Fox tensed when a hand rubbed his thigh, squeezing, journeying to his rear. He arched his back, trying to put some space between himself and Hiei. "Hiei, please—" His voice was so hushed, Hiei didn't hear him. The Jaganshi sucked lightly on Kurama's chest, edging closer to him. 'I guess Kuwabara can't call Hiei 'shrimp' anymore,' Kurama noted absent-mindedly, breathing hard. He felt funny.

Something hard brushed his inner thigh.

"_Stop!_" he screamed, breaking away.

Hiei blinked; Kurama had inched to the edge of the bed, his knees locked together, his body tense. "Are you alright?" he asked, startled.

Kurama's chest rose and fell rapidly, his complexion pale, his expression stunned. "Yes," he answered, following with, "I'm sorry."

"I thought you wanted to…?" Had he misinterpreted Kurama?

"I thought I did, too." He donned a helpless look. "I'm really sorry, Hiei. I don't know what happened."

Hiei displayed no sign of reaction for several moments, perhaps in thought, and then shrugged. "You're not ready yet," he said, trying to be dismissive. "I could sleep in the living room, if you want."

"No," Kurama said hastily. "I'm comfortable sleeping next to you." He tried to smile. "Besides, you wouldn't have anything to sleep on out there." Hiei pretended to laugh at the attempted joke. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"It's not your fault," Hiei insisted. Kurama invited him under the blanket, and he complied. His skin grazed the Fox's, and he felt him flinch. He quickly made space between the two, but Kurama almost immediately filled it so the two lay right beside each other. Apparently he'd calmed down some. Hiei hesitated a moment, and then wrapped an arm around the waist of the other. Kurama tensed again, but ordered himself to relax. Sleep, they knew, would not come easily tonight.

'It's not your fault, Kurama,' Hiei thought. 'It's _mine_.'


	10. Chapter X

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter X  
June 29, July 2, and August 17, 2005  
Edited: June 23, 2007  
(Again: December 4, 2007)

A small sob in the night; dark tresses hung down and absorbed the tears.

"Don't cry," the soft voice pleaded. "You really do sparkle like a gem when you cry, but it's tragic beauty. Please stop, or I may start making the salty sadness myself."

The moon radiated an aura that penetrated the rubble, bathing portions of the room in a soft, milky silver light. It caught the movement of a body shifting, illuminating the skin and making it a lustrous color. The figure rose to its feet, the lunar glow exaggerating the contrast between dark hair and pearly skin.

"I won't hurt you," the voice said in that same soft tone. "I think I love you, you know, and I am no Sadist. Despite all the murky desolation, please just know, if you can comprehend it, that I could never, ever bring myself to cause you harm."

* * *

Hiei was still asleep when Kurama awoke. Dawn had just broke, but he couldn't fall back asleep so he gave up and, as quietly as he could, slid out of bed, pulled on the jeans he'd worn last night, and crept out to the living room.

He felt horrid, and shocked with his behavior last night. He thought it'd be nice to consummate the relationship on the first night in their new home, a sort of double-celebration. He'd been eager to do it, to know Hiei and to let Hiei know him, but suddenly he was overcome by some dread, an intense fear. Had he not been ready just yet?

It took him a while before he finally did go to sleep, but even then he had no peace. Dreams had plagued his slumber. The details escaped him, but the mood lingered all too vividly. They were night mares, and made him wake feeling just as shaky as when he laid down and shut his eyes last night.

Reflecting all of this right now did not suit Kurama—he'd rather do so when he'd recovered his normal composure.

Right now he needed something to keep his mind occupied. He decided he would put some of the groceries purchased last night to use, and had just completed making an omelet with all the extra fixings when Hiei wandered in. "Good morning," Kurama said, smiling and hoping he appeared as collected as usual.

"Are you alright?" Hiei asked immediately.

Kurama forced a laugh. "Of course. Does something have to be wrong with me for fixing breakfast? You take that omelet, I'll make another one."

"That's not what I meant," the Koorime said as he accepted the food.

"I know what you meant," he said, focusing on his cooking. "Last night." He needn't say more.

"Yes. Are you okay?"

The Fox didn't answer, instead directing his attention to the omelet. When it was done, he placed it on a plate, poured some orange juice, and sat down at the small table and offered Hiei a glass. "I suppose," he said finally. "Just more embarrassed than anything else, I think."

Hiei took a bite of his breakfast, wondering whether or not he was being lied to. "You work today?"

Kurama nodded, realizing he should hurry up and get ready. "Thanks for reminding me," he said, wolfing down the rest of the omelet, and then the orange juice. He gave Hiei a brief smile, and then disappeared to the bathroom to shower.

Hiei's eyes followed him as he walked away, and then shifted his gaze to study the grain work of the table. After Kurama informed him that they were indeed moving into their own place, the two had bought some basic furniture and appliances: a microwave, stove, a small table, a small refrigerator/freezer, a few chairs. Everything else that they had—the bed and desk and bookshelves and the like—were Kurama's from his former home.

He took his time eating, not sure if Kurama desired his company while preparing for work. He feared that if he ventured back to their bedroom right now, he might happen upon the Fox in the middle of dressing. Taking last night into account, Hiei strongly doubted that an accidental glimpse of Kurama naked would be the best thing right now.

After a while Kurama reappeared, freshly showered and clothed and brushing out his hair. "Do you want anything specific for dinner?" he asked.

"I can cook," Hiei replied.

The Fox blinked. "Oh." The thought had never occurred to him before, that Hiei might know how to cook. When they were in each other's company and Hiei was hungry, it had always been Kurama who found him something to eat. "You know how to use the kitchen appliances?"

"I've seen you do it before, I can read instructions, and I occasionally cook for myself when no one's looking," Hiei replied, slightly sardonic.

"Oh. Uh, okay, if you want to."

"Do _you_ want anything specific for dinner?" Hiei now questioned him.

"Uh…" He was still registering the fact that Hiei could cook. "I don't care." He shrugged. "Anything's fine."

"Hn." He watched Kurama lace up his shoes and gather his things into his briefcase.

"Well, I guess I'll be going now."

Hiei nodded, watching him head for the door. "Have a nice day, Kurama."

"You too," he said, closing the door.

* * *

A restless feeling took hold of Kurama while he drove. He really didn't want to be in this car right now, he really didn't want to spend today cooped up in an office building.

Someone's horn brought him back to Earth—he'd strayed into the wrong lane. He quickly corrected himself. 'Concentrate,' he commanded his brain. However, his brain retaliated, and his head began throbbing. "No…" he groaned, rubbing his forehead. Naturally, atop everything else, this was his cherry for today. 'Don't do this anymore,' he told himself. 'Don't let Hiei, last night, or anything else distract you at work.' Over and over, he repeated this in his mind as he arrived to Yusuke's apartment and waited for his friend to get in.

"How's it going?" Yusuke asked. Kurama didn't answer. "Kurama?" Silence. "_Hello?_" He snapped his finger before the redhead's eyes.

Kurama blinked. "What?" he asked.

"What's up with you?"

"Huh?"

"That!" Yusuke exclaimed, pointing at nothing in particular. "That. What is That?"

" 'That'?"

"Yeah."

He studied Yusuke a moment. "I'm not sure what 'That' you're referring to, but I think you're being overly dramatic. Do you mind driving?"

"What? Why?"

"I don't feel well."

"Uh, okay." He switched places with Kurama. "Are you sick?" His friend shrugged. Yusuke attempted conversation a few times more, but Kurama barely said a word, only giving him an apologetic nod as they parked and got out.

"Uh, how's the new apartment?" he asked on their way into the building.

"It's fine." Kurama's tone lacked any emotion.

"What about Hiei?"

"Hiei's fine. I'll see you this afternoon." Kurama boarded the elevator.

'And, uh, how are you?' Yusuke wondered, staring at the closed elevator doors.

* * *

"Your mother wanted me to ask how your first night in the apartment was," Kazuya said.

Kurama donned a flight attendant's smile. "It was fine." A lie, perhaps, but no one else needed to know that.

"And she wanted to know if you needed any help unpacking still."

"I believe Hiei and I have that covered."

"And if you need more furniture or anything."

"I think we're set."

"And she wanted to know if you're eating well."

"As well as ever." He probably should have gone lighter on breakfast, though; his stomach was doing a performance that wasn't entirely in sync with the rest of him.

"And does your phone work?"

"What?" He furrowed his brow. "Yes. Why?"

"Because she'll probably call you tonight and ask you the same questions," Kazuya answered, gripping Kurama's shoulder and chuckling.

However, his good humor faded when he felt his step-son's body go rigid and shrink back from his touch.

"Shuichi?"

The Fox sprang to his feet, attempting nonchalance. "Thanks for the warning, Kazuya, I'll be prepared for if she does call at all. I should be getting back to work now." He quickly fled Kazuya's office before he could offer any words of comment or protest or question. Somebody brushed past him as he escaped into the hall, their hand grazing his bottom. He tensed and lurched forward, away from the passerby, his actions completely unnoticed, for which he was grateful. "Calm down," he muttered.

"Why? Edgy?" He whirled around, startled.

Akira quirked an eyebrow. "Well, perhaps _that_ answers my question," he said mildly.

"H-hello," he said, running his fingers through his hair. 'Is this how I make the others feel when I sneak up on them?'

"Hello yourself. Are you sick?"

He shrugged. "I might be. Why?"

"You should take a peek into a mirror. You look it."

The sheer bluntness made him smile a little. "I've been avoiding mirrors as of late, thank you. Are you working?" Akira had his tools with him.

"Well, I'm here, aren't I? Just finished. Thought there really wasn't much I could do, and of course the guy starts yelling like it's my fault."

"What broke?"

"Computer."

"Oh. His is possessed?"

"No, his is abused. He should have expected it to quit working. The sadist pounds on his keyboard like—Shuichi?—Hey! Somebody help me, he's fainting!"

Kurama fell backward, his body suddenly free of all sensation. 'This is me unconscious,' he thought distantly, right before he blacked out.

* * *

"_No!!!"_

A sickening sound, cracking, followed by silence, and then shattered by a hysterical wail. It bounced off the stone walls, coming back in a series of echoes. High-pitched, a woman's sobbing. No, the pitch lowered. He was the one crying.

"Why do you turn away?" a cold baritone jeered. "Look at it!" Fingers dug into his scalp and forced his head about. He winced, closing his eyes until they were mere slits. He didn't want to see.

"Leave him alone," a soft voice said brusquely.

"What's this now? Tomonari, the authoritarian? Since when do you give me orders?"

"Never. This is a suggestion. Why don't you finish your work? Go deal with the mother, it's evident that you've already broken her, she won't make a sufficient toy for you now."

He felt something wet under his hand, lifted it up and looked. His stomach lurched, had he eaten anything recently he would have thrown up right there, but commenced dry heaving instead. And then he collapsed, a crumpled form on the cold ground, weeping.

Fingers ran through his hair, gentle ones this time, massaging his scalp where the other fingers had dug in. "Put it out of your mind. We can't do anything for it now."

The fingers messed with his hair, combing out the tangles. It had a calming effect on him. "This is it," muttered the fingers' voice, soft and absent-minded. "I can't stand by anymore. I won't. This must stop. This blood, this liquid life. Innocent. This is the last. I won't let the Sadist spill anymore. Do you hear me? I promise."

* * *

"Tomo-"

Dim yellow light greeted emerald eyes; he blinked, looked around. He lay on a couch in a small, dark-fixtured room, light spilling through glass double doors, casting shadows over the floor. He narrowed his eyes—he'd never been here before—and narrowed them more still upon seeing a human-shaped shadow on the other side of the doors, and hearing a woman's voice uttering words he didn't understand. What was that? The Fox pondered over it …

_Portuguese?! _Where was he?

The glass doors opened, his hostess appeared. "You're finally awake. Would you like something to drink?" She spoke in Japanese this time, of course, but her voice had some sort of accent that he could not identify; this, combined with her brownish-hued skin and the texture of her hair, gave him the impression that she was foreign. He relaxed when he saw her eyes, though—green like his, only more olive than emerald, and he saw no trace of malice or deceit there.

"Water, please," he managed. "Thank you." She nodded, gave him a reassuring smile, and left him on the couch to ponder just what was going on. He remembered blacking out at work, but where was he now? How long had he been out? He looked around the room again. There were two large windows in the room, covered by shades. He pulled on one, revealing a late afternoon fruit-bowl sky.

"You've been out for a while."

Kurama turned around in his seat. "Akira?" Indeed it was. He blinked, thought of something the other had said—_"my girlfriend's black and talks with an accent." _"This is your house?" Akira nodded. "And that woman—your girlfriend?"

Another nod. "Lucrece—the best thing I got out of attending college—Well, she's not a 'thing,' of course, but you know what I mean." He grinned. "She's done and over with school, and when I graduate—"

"You're still in school?"

Akira shrugged. "I didn't go from the high school to the university immediately. I'll be done this time next year, though, and then I'm going back with Lucrece to Rio."

"de Janeiro?" Yet another nod. Brazil—well, that explained the Portuguese he'd been hearing. "Love knows no boundaries, eh?" he said, a little sardonically.

Akira waved one hand. "Of course we're in love, but we _do _have real plans; this is reality, not some romantic fairy tale."

At least Akira was not another Yusuke, Kurama thought.

Lucrece returned and gave him a glass of water, and then asked bluntly, "Do you often faint at work?"

"Ah, not usually," he said, uncomfortable. "I don't know what happened." He looked outside again. "It must be getting late. Thank you for taking care of me, but I'd better go home."

"Shuichi, I don't think you should…"

"I appreciate your concern, but Hiei will be wondering where I am—"

"He shouldn't," Akira interrupted. "I called earlier and left a message for him. When he gets it, won't he come get you?"

"Uh … yes, of course." Kurama smiled, but his confidence wavered.

Did Hiei know how to use the answering machine?

* * *

"Hello? Hello?! Are you guys in there?" Yusuke pounded on the door.

It finally opened, and Yusuke found himself face to face with an annoyed Hiei. "What?" the Koorime growled.

"Uh, I brought Kurama's car—Are you crying?"

Hiei wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "I was cutting up an onion. Your point?"

Yusuke laughed. "Yeah, right, an onion. That's one of the oldest excuses—" He stopped, and took a whiff. A rather delicious aroma was coming from the apartment. "What's that?"

"Dinner," said Hiei bluntly. He held up a knife. Yusuke backed up (it was Hiei, after all), but noticed that the blade had bits of onion on it.

"You were cutting up an onion."

"No, really?"

"Wait—you can cook?"

He rolled his eyes. "Is that some sort of miracle? Where's Kurama?"

"Uh … Huh? What do you mean, where's Kurama?"

"You came here in his car, right?"

"Yeah … but he's not with me." Hiei narrowed his eyes. "I was just bringing it back here for him."

"Why can't he?"

"He fainted."

Hiei blinked. "What? When did this happen?"

"I don't know," Yusuke said, stepping inside. "I wasn't with him at the time. Akira was—uh, he's this guy from work—"

"I know who he is," Hiei snapped. "This used to be his apartment. What happened to Kurama?"

"I don't know. Akira came up to me, told me Kurama fainted and that he'd bring him here on his way to his place, and then he gave me Kurama's keys and asked if I could bring the car home. Akira didn't bring him here?"

"Do you see him? When was this?"

"Uh … earlier this afternoon."

The Jaganshi thought a moment. "I went out earlier."

"So you weren't here when Akira came," Yusuke deducted. "Okay, maybe he left a message or something."

"Message?"

"Yeah. You know, on the answering machine?"

"The what?"

"Okay, maybe you don't know." Yusuke looked around, and spotted the phone and answering machine. "Here." He hit the button on the machine. A message began playing.

"Hello, Hiei. This is Akira Shimizu, I work with Shuichi. Ah, Shuichi fainted at work—but don't worry, nothing appears to be wrong; he just hasn't regained consciousness yet. I brought him to your place, but no one was home, so I'm taking him to my house, and you can come get him whenever you get this." Akira gave his address, and then the message ended.

Hiei was silent, debating. He didn't know how to drive, but he had no idea if he should travel in his normal fashion while carrying Kurama, if the Fox was still unconscious.

"Need a ride?" Yusuke piped up. He glowered, but reluctantly nodded.

Neither of them conversed in the car for a while. Yusuke sighed; this was almost as uncomfortable as riding with a moody Kurama, but granted, Hiei was almost always this way. "Hey, Hiei?"

"What?" he asked, sitting slumped in the passenger's seat, arms crossed over his chest.

"When did you…" he trailed off, the rest of his sentence inaudible.

"What?"

"When did you and Kurama, uh, realize you … liked each other?"

Hiei quirked an eyebrow. "I've always liked him," he said coolly. "He's a better companion than the rest of you."

"Gee, thanks. But that's not what I meant. When did you decide that you _liked_ him … romantically—_loved_ him?"

"What does it matter to you?" Hiei demanded. "Is it necessary to know?"

Yusuke should have expected malice for asking him such a question. "Well, no, I don't _need_ to know, but—"

"Then why ask?"

He didn't back down. "Well, you guys didn't get together until after—"

"Shouldn't you pay attention to where we're going? I'd like to see Kurama."

The driver heaved another sigh. "Yeah, okay. Fine."

Yusuke sounded somewhat irritated. Good. He didn't care. Hiei stared out the window, watching the scenery pass by in a blur.

* * *

"Do you usually talk in your sleep?" Akira asked Kurama.

"What? Not to my knowledge. Was I earlier?"

"Yeah. You were saying a name—Tomonari—Is that someone you know?"

The redhead furrowed his brow. "No. I don't know anybody by that name."

"Oh. Well, it was kind of weird watching you. You were having a rather fitful sleep."

"Nightmare," he replied, shrugging.

"Shuichi," Lucrece called from the front room. "Is Hiei average-height with short black hair?"

"No."

"Okay then, is he kind of short with freaky spiky hair?"

Kurama cracked a smile at the description. "Yes, that sounds about right."

"Okay, because two guys just pulled up outside in some junky car, and he must be one of them."

He laughed. "That happens to be _my_ junky car, thank you very much." The first guy sounded like Yusuke.

There was a knock on the door, and then Lucrece could be heard answering it. Moments later she led Hiei and Yusuke back to the small room with glass doors. "Hello," Kurama greeted.

"Are you okay?" Hiei asked, for the second time today.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Just embarrassed. Again."

"Huh?" Yusuke asked.

"Nothing." He looked to Hiei. "I should probably go home and call my mother. If Kazuya told her what happened she'll be worried until I do. Thank you, Akira and Lucrece."

"Yeah." Akira shrugged. "Just promise not to do it again. You scared the crap out of me."

* * *

"Yes, Mother, I'm quite fine."

"Did you eat breakfast this morning?" Shiori asked.

"Yes. And lunch. I didn't skip any meals. The fainting wasn't hunger-related."

"And this Akira man took care of you?"

"Yes, he took me to his home. And he left a message for Hiei."

"Well, where was Hiei during all of this?"

"He wasn't there when Akira came by."

"So he comes and goes all day while you work?"

"Mother, you make him sound like a slacker. He got a lot done today—he unpacked and arranged everything," he said, looking around the living room. "And he cooked dinner. He made spaghetti, you know, and we're getting ready to eat—"

"Is he abusive?" Shiori asked abruptly.

Kurama widened his eyes. _"What?"_

"Has Hiei hit you or anything? Kazuya told me you flinched when he touched your shoulder today."

'Oh, I do _loathe_ gossip,' Kurama thought. "Hiei's not abusive!" he exclaimed.

"_What?"_

The Fox looked up. Hiei apparently overheard, for he was giving Kurama a very bewildered look. "Never mind," he told him. "It's just a misunderstanding. I'll fix it."

Hiei stared at him, but shrugged it off and went into the kitchen.

"Mother," Kurama continued, "I assure you, Hiei's done nothing to me. I felt ill earlier. That'sall."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. And if you still don't believe me, I'll … I'll strip naked and let you do a full search for any bruises and the like. Will you be satisfied when you find nothing?" From the kitchen, Kurama could hear a sudden, sputtering cough. From the other end of the line, he heard a sudden silence. "Mother, are you okay?"

"Uh . . . I believe you, Shuichi," she said quickly, sounding quite sincere.

He grinned. "Thank you, Mother. We'll have to arrange a dinner date soon, you know, and decide whose home to have it at. Speaking of which, dinner's ready now, so I must be going. I promise to call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes, okay. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

"She thought I was hurting you?" Hiei asked.

"No … I was jumpy at work, Kazuya noticed, and he must have told her … she was scared. She likes you," he assured, "I can tell. It was just momentary fear. Don't let it offend you, please."

"Hn." He was actually more amused, hearing Kurama's end of the conversation, than anything else. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes, actually." He joined Hiei at the kitchen, discovering that the Koorime had already dished him up a plate. "Thank you," he said, grabbing a bread stick and slathering it in butter. "I was thinking," he said, between mouthfuls. "Would you like to go away for a while? Leave the city for a few days?"

"Huh?"

"It could be just you and me. No distractions or anything. A little vacation to enjoy ourselves."

Hiei chewed his food thoughtfully. "Okay," he finally said, swallowing.

Kurama smiled, and got up to get another portion of the spaghetti. As soon as his back was to Hiei, he let the smile fade, and in its place was an expression of deep thought.

_Tomonari._ Akira said he'd called out the name in his sleep. He didn't know a Tomonari—did he? He filed the name away in his mind, promising himself he'd figure it out later. And then he returned to the table, and to Hiei.


	11. Chapter XI

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XI  
June 29, July 2, and August 17, 2005  
Edited: June 23, 2007  
(Again: December 4, 2007)

"Yes, Kazuya. No, it's no problem; the couch is a pull-out, he can sleep there. No, there's no need to do that ... we're family ... you don't have to pay me.…"

Hiei sat at the table, nursing a cup of coffee and watching Kurama sitting on the bed and conversing with his stepfather on the phone. From the sounds of it, he wagered that they might be expecting a guest when they returned from Naha.

He sipped the coffee, took a deep breath, relishing the rich aroma rising from the dark spiced beverage. Kurama shifted on the bed, now talking to his mother. Hiei couldn't understand why people enjoyed talking on the telephone so much. To exchange information, yes, but just to talk? He hated it; it seemed too odd, talking to someone, hearing their voice, and yet they weren't in the same room, and one couldn't see the face, the mouth, from whence the voice came.

Kurama had uncrossed his right leg from his left one and stretched it out so that it rested on the edge of the other bed. Hiei watched it; he knew that it was covered in small hairs of a red-gold coloring, little hairs so fine that Hiei could not see them from where he sat, but he knew that they were there still, smooth and silky as the creamy-colored skin they sprouted from... He felt himself flushing, and redirected his focus to the interesting brown hue of the coffee. 'Don't think about that,' he ordered his brain. 'You too,' he added, addressing the other troublemaker. He didn't want to lose control and frighten Kurama again.

By now the Fox had hung up. "The city must be getting old for everyone," he joked to Hiei. "My mother has to leave town for business; Kazuya wants to keep her company. You don't mind if Shuichi stays with us, do you?"

"No." 'This should prove interesting,' he thought somewhat warily. Kurama apparently held a similar sentiment, Hiei observed, from the expression on his face and the peculiar tone he took when asking him if he minded that the boy stay in their apartment. "If he gets too uppity," Hiei suggested wryly, "we could always make it look like he fell over the terrace railing."

The Fox laughed. "Only if necessary," he replied with a grin. Kurama now noticed that Hiei was fully dressed. "Um, perhaps I should put on some real clothes now, huh?"

Hiei quirked an eyebrow. "You mean those clothes aren't real?" he played, referring to the boxer shorts and old tee shirt Kurama had slept in. "They're just an illusion; I could have imagined them off if I wanted to?"

Kurama managed to turn toward the suitcase, searching for day clothes, before Hiei saw the embarrassed look on his face. He wasn't sure whether he wanted Hiei to imagine off his clothing or not. Granted, Hiei had been very considerate toward him since the rather unpleasant episode that first night in the apartment—knocking on the doors of the bedroom and bathroom before entering, for example—but it made Kurama feel bad, thinking it wrong that Hiei should have to behave so on guard in his own home. After all, they were lovers, were they not? Lovers, demon lovers particularly, shouldn't be uncomfortable with seeing each other—with being seen—naked, in his opinion. One should be as comfortable with their lover's nudity as they should be with their own—had the ideals of the human world warped his own so much that he now lived in contradiction to his own philosophy? Not until now had he taken that thought into consideration.

"Do you want to go eat somewhere first?" Kurama asked Hiei, pulling on an old pair of jeans and a blue shirt. "I don't think we're allowed to bring food in." He was referring to the Iriomote National Park—the place that had attracted them—or perhaps more accurately, him—to Okinawa in the first place.

The Koorime nodded, offering Kurama the remainder of his coffee. While Kurama finished off the cup, Hiei grabbed his boots. He waited for the redhead to don shoes, and then the two went outside, down the stairs, and took to the streets.

* * *

"You didn't like that waitress," Hiei observed.

"What are you talking about?" Kurama asked, a slightly defensive tone in his voice.

"I don't think those orchids became ensnared in her hair on their own," the Koorime persisted, amused. "I think they gathered inspiration from somewhere."

"Why are you trying to blame me? Her hair was so big that I would have been surprised if it _hadn't_ gotten caught on something."

Hiei snorted. "Catty."

"She spent the entire time flirting with you, while she thought that _I _was your _wife_."

Hiei smirked. "You just proved my point, Fox." Kurama tried to glare at him, but it failed, and his face dissolved instead into a sheepish smile.

"Okay, which do you like better?" Kurama asked. "This, or Shuri Castle?"

He didn't even have to think about it. "Shuri Castle was built by Ningens," he said bluntly.

Kurama laughed. "I think I like this better, too," he agreed. "But Shuri Castle _was_ interesting..."

" You were probably just debating how to break into it," Hiei teased.

"Don't make me push you in." Kurama had removed his shoes and stepped into the water. "Are you coming?" Hiei rolled his eyes, but kicked off his boots and followed. He had to admit, the water felt good, and looked so clean, untouched by Ningen pollution—he could understand now the rules stating that one could bring in only what they had on them.

"Stand still," Kurama told him softly. "Look down."

"What?" Hiei did, and saw that a tiny, brightly-colored fish was swimming around his feet. A gossamer fin brushed against his ankle, tickling him. Hiei dared to flex his big toe ever so slightly, and the fish instantly darted away, an iridescent, colorful ghost in the water.

"Look up," Kurama said now.

Again, Hiei did. The sky, which had been overcast all day, was rapidly darkening. "Rain," he said, sniffing the air and recognizing the clean scent.

The redhead nodded. "Storm, probably. Want to look around some more before we leave?" Hiei nodded.

All over the park it appeared that the light was being smothered by shadow, and the temperature grew cooler. Hiei and Kurama were admiring a tree with rich crimson foliage—the Fox told Hiei that it was a fern-leafed maple—when a loud rumble filled their ears, followed by the rustling sound, the cold wet sensation, the sweet fragrance, of rain. "Well," Kurama said over the thunder, "so much for not getting soaked." He smiled at the Koorime, and his face and hair, which already stood out vividly against the darkened atmosphere, were illuminated by a brilliant flash of lightning. "Shall we return to the hotel?"

Hiei's hair was by now completely saturated; several pieces, weighed down with rain, fell into his eyes, limp, wilted, dripping versions of the spikes they had been. He brushed them aside so that they lay plastered on either side of his face but left his sight unhindered. Rain fell into his eyes, making them wince and blink rapidly. In answer to Kurama's question, he provided a plain nod.

* * *

Hiei heard the door open, and then shut. "I'm back," Kurama called. Hiei stepped out of the bathroom. "…And I see that you didn't have much luck drying your hair," Kurama said, trying not to smile. The Koorime glared, but Kurama was right—his hair, though he had toweled it fiercely, was still quite damp, and draped down around his face and over his bare shoulders. "You should wear your hair like that more often," Kurama continued, having surrendered to the smile. "It looks nice." He hadn't even known that it was that long; true, it had grown since their days with the Reikai Tantei, but he hadn't really noticed until now, with it hanging out of its customary spiked style.

"Did you get the food?" Hiei asked, refusing to acknowledge any hair-related comments. Kurama held up a take-out bag. "You didn't antagonize any service persons, did you?" he teased.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Kurama replied. He set the food down on the table and offered Hiei's to him.

Hiei had finished almost all of his dinner when he noticed that Kurama appeared preoccupied. "What is it?" he inquired.

"Huh?" Kurama had snapped out of it. "Um, nothing." Hiei eyed him curiously. "Do I annoy you?" the Fox asked.

"What?"

"The way I behave at times—diffident—does it annoy you at all?"

"Why should it annoy me?" Hiei asked.

"Well, I just figured ... that first night in the apartment ... surely you'd want..."

Hiei shrugged. "You're uncomfortable. Why should I be annoyed with that? You have plenty other aspects that I can be annoyed with: Your sentimentality toward ningen, your being such a damned smart ass, your—." He stopped when Kurama pulled something out of his jacket and showed it to him. "What's that?" he asked.

"A condom," Kurama answered coyly.

"A what?"

"A condom. A device generally made of a material called latex. It's used for protection." He was blushing.

"Protection against what?"

"Diseases. Pregnancy." Kurama laughed nervously. "Want to make a baby, Hiei?" he tried to joke.

It dawned on Hiei. "You want to…?"

"Uh-huh," Kurama answered. "Um, if you want to," he added hastily.

"Sure," said Hiei, trying to read Kurama's expression to see if he really wanted this, or was just doing it for him.

Kurama realized what Hiei was doing, and immediately began kissing his shoulder blade, even nipping at the flesh with his teeth. He left a tickling trail of kisses up the Koorime's neck, saw Hiei watching him from the corner of his eye, and smiling slyly, tugged on his earlobe, and then ran his tongue over the inner ridges. Hiei let out a gasp and widened his eyes. "Kurama..." The Fox took one of Hiei's hands and brought it behind him to the fly of Kurama's jeans. The Koorime understood, twisted around and undid the zipper, pulling Kurama's shirt out and up over his head awkwardly.

Kurama wrenched free of the shirt, grabbed it, and tossed it carelessly into a corner. He slid out of his jeans, and then his underwear, and then he stood there completely exposed before Hiei, looking a little shy but at the same time eager to continue.

Kurama had noticed that hotel rooms always seemed rather chilly, no matter the weather outside. He shivered a little, unsure of whether it was from the temperature or something internal. "It's kind of cold in here," he whispered to Hiei. "Shall we get under the covers?" Hiei didn't answer. "What is it?" he asked, a little nervous now.

Hiei blinked, and then a small smile appeared. "What happened to being diffident?" he teased.

"I—." Hiei gave him no time to answer; he wrapped an arm around Kurama's back and pulled him closer, while with his other hand he caressed the redhead's face, his throat, his chest. He rubbed a nipple with his thumb and Kurama moaned softly; he pinched it and Kurama moaned louder. His face grew warm and rosy; the blush progressed down his neck and over his shoulders. Hiei wondered if his own body was flushed in a similar fashion.

Kurama's hands caressed Hiei's face, neck, shoulders, arms, chest, back, abdomen ... he continued downward until he found Hiei's pants. "Remind me," he said absently, his face buried into Hiei's hair, "that we need to obtain more clothing for you when we return home." His hands undid the Jaganshi's belts, tugged at his pants. Hiei rose up, letting his pants slide down almost to his knees. He wriggled out of them, and kicked them off violently, hearing the soft rustling noise they made as they landed on the floor a few feet away from the bed.

Hiei overbalanced and fell atop Kurama, pinning the Fox to the mattress. He wrapped his arms around his friend and slammed him up against the headboard, found Kurama's lips, crushed them and bit them; he pressed his tongue inside and felt the redhead's own welcome him, eager to wrestle.

The Koorime broke for air, his breath coming out in pants. Both men were by now quite ready physically. "How do you want to...?" he asked Kurama.

He threw back his head and allowed Hiei to nip at the exposed throat. "I want you," gasped Kurama, rubbing his cheek against Hiei's. "Inside me. Where'd that condom end up?"

Hiei's hand groped about the bed, found the condom, handed it to Kurama. "How does it work?" he inquired.

"Don't move," Kurama said, lowering his head toward Hiei's crotch. Hiei widened his eyes when he felt something engulf his erection; he looked down to discover that Kurama was applying the condom with his mouth. He found it rather exciting. The Fox withdrew his head, and Hiei could see that his penis was now donned up in a glove of sorts. "Now you're all dressed up," Kurama crooned in a thick voice, playing with the hair on Hiei that sprouted above the now-wrapped organ. "Ready for some fun?"

By now, Hiei was more than ready. "Which way do you want...?" he asked uncertainly.

Kurama lay in front of Hiei on his back. "I want to see your face," he panted. "And I want you ... to see mine." Hiei stared down at him. Kurama's gaze was so trustful and loving... he kissed him and the forehead, and then moved to blanket the redhead's body with his own. Kurama spread his legs for him—"Oh..." he groaned, his body tensing up when Hiei pressed into him. This stung, burned.

"Are you okay?" asked Hiei. Kurama's face was contorted as though in pain.

"Yes," the redhead hissed. "You're just ... big." Hiei hesitated, and then proceeded. Kurama squirmed and clung to Hiei, grinding his pelvis against the Jaganshi's, grunting when he was all the way inside. "Go on," he encouraged.

Hiei nodded, rocking back and forth on top of Kurama, moving in and out of him. His hardened nipples brushed against Kurama's and they both inhaled sharply, liking the sensation it produced. The redhead moaned and wrapped his legs around Hiei's waist. "Hiei," he breathed into the Koorime's ear. "I love you..."

"Love you..." Hiei echoed, increasing speed. He grew careless, pounding harder into Kurama. Kurama widened his eyes, arched his entire body, cried out. "_H-Hiei!_" he gasped, running his fingers through Hiei's hair, digging them into his neck and shoulders. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt something warm and wet squirt over his stomach. "Oh..." he exhaled, snuggling against Hiei.

Hiei sighed, resting on top of Kurama a moment before pulling out and coming to rest beside him. "How are you?"

he asked, playing with the sticky substance blobbed on Kurama's stomach.

"I'm ... fine." Kurama stroked Hiei's jaw line. "That was nice," he said passionately. "Have you ... done this before?"

"Yes," said Hiei bluntly. Kurama blinked, slightly startled. "It was nothing," he added hastily. "Just sex."

"Uh-huh," said Kurama. He could understand perfectly—had he not pulled similar stunts in Makai? "And what am I?"

"Something," Hiei immediately replied, kissing Kurama between the eyes, then on the nose, of all places. The Fox's skin was covered in goose bumps, Hiei wondered if he was cold. He grabbed a blanket and made to cover himself and Kurama with it.

"Wait." Kurama edged away from him. "Let me clean up first, okay? And I'll go ahead and toss that for you." He gestured to the condom. Hiei had completely forgotten about it; he slipped it off and handed it over to Kurama. He lay back in bed and watched Kurama walk toward the bathroom, eyeing that pale flesh that had been so silky-soft and warm under his touch.

He let his gaze focus on Kurama's butt, admiring how deliciously round it was, and then he widened his eyes. "Blood ..." he murmured. "Kurama—you're bleeding."

"Huh?"

"There." Hiei pointed. "The back of your thigh."

Kurama felt around, and discovered that there was indeed blood. "Oh. Well, that's okay." He smiled at Hiei. "It's normal," he reassured. "Bleeding often happens the first time." 'Soreness, too,' he thought. He wasn't too keen on the thought of sitting down tomorrow. Perhaps he should pick up a lubricant for next time.

Hiei nodded uncertainly. "First time," he repeated, convincing himself that his lover was indeed unharmed. Kurama nodded, and then disappeared into the bathroom. Hiei relaxed, and watched Kurama return to bed, felt him get under the covers and scoot over next to him.

"Good night, Hiei," Kurama said softly, nuzzling against him. Hiei kissed the back of Kurama's neck, rested his head against the crook of it, breathing in the scent of his hair, and shut his eyes.

Then he opened them again. "Did I also mention that you're unpredictable?"


	12. Chapter XII

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XII  
September 19, November 12 and 24, 2005  
Edited: July 2, 2007

Most teens would be keen with the thought of the parents out of town, leaving them to their own devices, with only an older sibling for semi-supervision. Unfortunately for Shuichi, he had but one older sibling to stay with, which meant rooming with the elder Shuichi's boyfriend as well.

"Oh man, that's gotta suck," a friend, Henkutsu, had snickered when he reluctantly shared the news. "Don't let them rape you."

He had blinked. "He's my brother … that's gross."

"Step-brother," Henkutsu corrected. "Not technically related. He probably wouldn't care if you were or not, anyhow—faggots are like that, you know."

"Uh, yeah." Though to his knowledge, Henkutsu had never spent time enough around any "faggot" to do anything other than insult one. "Yeah … I'll be sure to keep one eye open—"

"—And one hand over your asshole," laughed Henkutsu.

That was gross, but Shuichi forced a laugh. "Yeah; later." He waved good-bye and pointed his toes toward his step-brother's apartment building.

If he'd found the idea of his brother and Hiei being together a little—strange—before, it'd become much more so since he'd come to stay with them. They weren't so lovey-dovey that he felt like puking, but before they hadn't even made physical contact when they knew he was present—but it grew worse. It'd been after his brother and Hiei had gone to bed. He was under the covers of the hide-a-bed his brother had pulled out for him, trying to go to sleep, when he'd heard it.

Murmurs coming from the bedroom, accompanied by muffled laughing. And then the bed shifting, mattress springs groaning. Finally, the sound of Shuichi, his brother, moaning and talking, and Hiei replying. The two spoke so quietly, and their voices were muted as it was by the walls, that Shuichi couldn't tell exactly what they were saying, but he had a pretty good idea. Worst of all, probably, was when he heard the redhead cry out Hiei's name—he knew exactly what that meant.

They'd just come back from a sort of mini-vacation in Okinawa when his parents had left. He had his suspicions that Okinawa had been some gay honeymoon for the two. The entire idea made him cringe a little.

At first, Shuichi had wondered if Hiei was the "wife" of the pair; he did a lot of cooking, and tonight was preparing dinner even as Shuichi came in. But it wouldn't make enough sense that way, he'd reconsidered—his brother was the one who had long hair, delicate features, a gentle demeanor (insanely polite at times, just like Shiori, but kind of fruity given he was a male)—who was, overall, feminine. Hiei, on the other hand, was gruff and aloof and, well … tough.

Given his aloofness, of course, Hiei said nothing to Shuichi the entire time between his arrival and that of his brother's, which was a short while later. Then Hiei and the elder Shuichi talked off and on; Hiei didn't contribute too much of the conversation verbally, he noticed—a nod of the head here, a "Hn" there, et cetera … whereas Shuichi chattered away to Hiei quite happily—definitely the "girl", he thought.

"Shuichi," his brother said after their meal was over. "Hiei and I are going to go out for a while. We'll be back around nine, okay?"

"Yeah," he said, waving when they left. He wondered where they were going, or if he even wanted to know. Henkutsu had told him about these clubs downtown where fags went to have orgies … He didn't know if that was true or not, and really didn't want an image in his head to accompany the disturbing sounds he'd heard.

The phone rang. "Hello," he answered.

"Shuichi?"

"Dad?"

"We were just calling to see how everyone was."

"We're all fine, I guess," he said, still trying to shake off the orgy image.

"Is something wrong?" His tone must not have been particularly happy.

"They have sex," he replied flatly. "I hear them do it at night."

"… Oh." Kazuya sounded a little uncomfortable. "Well, they're both adults, Shuichi, ah—Do they know that you can hear them?"

"No," Shuichi answered indignantly.

"You should tell them if it bothers you."

"I'm not going to tell them I can hear that!"

"Well, do you want me to tell them for you?"

"No!"

"Well, Shuichi, then I guess you'll have to ignore it." Shuichi groaned. "Come on, it's no big deal—they're just doing what most other couples do, even Shiori and I—"

"I could really do without knowing that!" he exclaimed. Was his entire family trying to traumatize him?

"Anyways," Kazuya continued hastily, "we'll be home in a few days, so if you're not going to tell them, can you at least put up with it until then?"

"Fine," he grumbled.

"Are either Shuichi or Hiei there right now?"

"No, they went out; I'll tell them you called." Shuichi bade Kazuya farewell and hung up.

* * *

"Brake … brake … brake!"

Hiei finally did, and the two of them lurched forward a little. "What?" he asked, exasperated.

"Hiei," Kurama began, trying to sound gentle, "you should really look before you try to merge, okay? And try not to kill any of the jerks," he added, noticing how Hiei narrowed his eyes as they received yells from several motorists. "As tempting as it may be."

"Hn," grunted an annoyed Hiei. "What now?"

"Um, let's start moving again." He took a deep breath and tried to relax while Hiei put his foot on the gas pedal and steered back into the street. This attempt soon failed, however. "Hiei!" He grabbed the steering wheel, wincing slightly at the string of profane insults belted out by the owner of the car swerving around them.

"What?" growled the Koorime. This entire ordeal was damned frustrating.

Kurama ignored Hiei's tone. "I think I know one of your problems, Hiei. You need to check your mirrors."

"You never do," Hiei countered.

"Of course I do!" he protested.

"Do you? I've rode with you many times, Kurama, and not once have I ever seen you look in any of those mirrors."

"I … I glance…." the Fox said feebly.

"So I have to inspect the mirrors every time I do something, but you only have to glance? Hypocrite."

"No, it's not …" Kurama trailed off, knowing that Hiei was right. "I know. I just don't like to look in the mirrors." Even as he said it, he knew it was a dumb excuse.

"Why not?"

"I just don't," he said quietly, but firmly.

Hiei blinked, wondering why such a trivial thing would make Kurama so touchy. He granted the redhead's request … for a few minutes. "It just seems to me that you could tell me, if you wanted to …" He shrugged. "I wouldn't laugh or anything."

Sometimes such sentiment coming from Hiei still seemed odd to Kurama. Of course the Koorime had been his friend for some time—his closest friend, in fact—but this open concern would still take a little getting used to, Kurama thought. He looked at the floorboard, noting the bits of trash strewn about, his face growing slightly warmer than normal. "Do you really want to know?"

"If you want to tell me," Hiei answered.

Kurama didn't say anything for a few minutes. "You'll think it crazy; I know I do. You remember how I told you about wrecking my car?"

"Yes."

"I remember, before waking up in the hospital (you need to watch your speed)"—Hiei did—"looking in the mirror. I saw … something."

"What?" Kurama had an odd, brooding look on his face.

"… Eyes," replied the Fox quietly.

"Huh?"

"Eyes," he repeated, louder this time. "Just … eyes."

Hiei furrowed his brow. "What sort of eyes?"

Kurama shrugged. "They were my eyes first, naturally, as I was looking into the mirror. But then they changed … a few times, I suppose. The colors …" He trailed off. "Anyways, that's why I don't like looking in mirrors now is all."

Hiei looked straight ahead, thinking about what Kurama had just shared. "Have you seen anything odd lately?"

"No," Kurama answered distractedly. Something had just come to his attention: Hiei's eyes were red. Of course, this knowledge wasn't at all new to Kurama, but he recalled that one of the pairs of eyes that looked out at him from the mirror had also been red….

Hiei found the Fox staring at him, a contemplative expression upon his face. "What?" he asked quickly.

The redhead blinked and looked somewhat confused, as though recovering from a stupor of sorts. "Nothing," he replied hastily. "Turn here."

The Koorime did, bringing the car into the parking lot of the apartment building. He followed Kurama's instructions, parking and turning the car off. "That wasn't too bad, Hiei," Kurama praised, taking the keys. "I think that once you've practiced turns a little more, all you'll have to worry about is controlling your speed." Hiei rolled his eyes, following him inside the building and up the stairs to their apartment.

There in the living room, watching television, sat Kurama's step-brother, Shuichi. "Mom and Dad called," Shuichi said. Kurama nodded, taking a seat on the couch, followed by Hiei.

He tried paying attention to what Shuichi had on, but soon found himself distracted by a pleasant attention paid unto his leg by Hiei, accompanied by an equally pleasant purring from deep within the Koorime's throat. Since the trip to Okinawa, Kurama had been feeling less shy, and Hiei had grown considerably friskier toward the Fox as a result- which usually led to a very amorous aftermath….

"Quit it," he told Hiei, keeping in mind that his younger brother was in the room, and gesturing towards him even, so that Hiei understood that this was no game of hard to get.

Hiei did understand, and immediately stopped, though he did look a little put off. He and Kurama locked eyes for several moments. "Bedroom," Hiei murmured.

Kurama nodded. "Ah, Shuichi, Hiei and I are going to bed, okay? Lights and television off by midnight, got it?"

"'Kay," he said monotonously. He hadn't been blind and deaf to their flirting, unfortunately. "Night." The couple rose and headed back for their bedroom. Just as he'd expected, only a few minutes had passed when he heard them laughing, and the bed rocking, and his brother moaning…. "Oh man," he grumbled, turning up the volume.

* * *

"I was thinking of leaving for a while," Hiei murmured, resting his head on Kurama's naked chest.

"Mukuro?" the Fox said.

Hiei nodded, playing with a soft red tendril of Kurama's hair. "It won't be too long a time."

"Yes…. Perhaps I could come with you," he suggested. "I could take time off—"

"No," Hiei said sharply. Kurama fell silent, appearing a bit startled by his tone. "I mean, no," he said more gently. "That's not a good idea. Your life is here; you shouldn't cross into the Makai when it's not necessary."

Kurama could have argued that he crossed into and out of the Makai periodically ever since the last Tournament. Instead, he conceded. "Don't be away too long, though—Mukuro must know by now that you have duties here, too."

Hiei snorted; it was obvious what Kurama's tone carried. "She's no lover of mine, and never will—I've told you already."

"I wasn't …" Kurama protested. "I'm not …"

"Of course you aren't," said Hiei, easing his body onto a spot of mattress beside the Fox, nestling his body against the other. "Though it is funny," he yawned, "t o know that sometimes your mood matches those eyes of yours."

* * *

Hiei had stayed off his departure until Shuichi was gone, whether out of suspicion of the young ningen's behavior if left alone with Kurama, or reluctance to leave the latter, the Fox did not know. But the morning after they were relieved of their charge, Kurama woke from a deep sleep to discover Hiei gone, and his mother waiting at the door. He hurriedly made himself look presentable, and then (somewhat sleepily) greeted Shiori.

She looked surprised, and who could blame her? Kurama had given Hiei a proper send-off, that lasted long into the night. "Did I wake you?" she asked, noting a yawn he was unable to stifle.

"No … I was getting up anyhow." He put the tea kettle on the stove and turned on one of the burners. And how are you?"

"I'm fine," she replied quickly, surveying the apartment. "And you?"

"I can't complain."

"Is Hiei still asleep?"

"Hiei's gone for a few days," Kurama answered simply. "He's visiting a friend." Shiori looked like she wanted to say something, but "Oh," was all that came out. "Is something the matter?" he inquired..

She shook her head vigorously. "No, nothing's—your kettle is steaming." She declined his offer of beverage. "Shuichi," she said, as he sat down at the table with a bowl of oatmeal and cup of tea. "Could I ask you something?"

"Didn't you just now?" he asked playfully, taking a bite of his meal. "What is it?"

"Ah … I really didn't want to trouble you with this the other night, but—." Kurama raised an eyebrow when he noticed a faint blush rise in Shiori's face. "Shuichi told us something interesting … Did you and Hiei know…?" She trailed off, mumbling something inaudible and looking like she'd much rather be anywhere else but there.

"Come again?" he inquired.

"I said, Did you and Hiei know that Shuichi could—ah, hear you?"

He pondered her meaning a moment, and then half-choked on his drink while swallowing. "What?" he asked weakly, hoping that he may have heard her wrong. "He heard…?" Shiori nodded. He widened his eyes, horrified; now he was the one who wished to be elsewhere. "I swear, we didn't know."

"I figured that much," Shiori assured him. "It's really no big deal, Shuichi—but I wanted to ask you something else."

"What?" he asked, contemplating whether or not there was anything worse she could ask him after that little announcement.

"Do you and Hiei …" She paused, looking deep in thought. "… practice safe swordsmanship?" she finished.

Kurama, not following her, gave her a baffled stare. Then he saw where it was her gaze rested—the corner where Hiei often rested his katana (it was as though he had to have it on display to maintain a sense of Hiei-ness). "Uh …" he managed, wondering why lately most conversations he had with his mother were so awkward. "We use a sheath," he finally answered, deciding to maintain the swordplay theme, yet at the same time feeling immature for using euphemisms.

"Oh good," she said, sounding quite relieved and not noticing the interesting hue her son's face had adopted.

* * *

He wondered if all sons had it so "lucky," but decided to cease his mental bemoaning the morning after when he picked up Yusuke the following morning. The brunette muttered some greeting in a not-so-enthusiastic tone, sat in silence for a few minutes, and then said, "My mom came over last night. She's had a few. I think she's still on our couch."

"Oh." He wasn't sure what else to say. Kurama had only met Atsuko Urameshi on a few occasions, but was well aware of her vices.

"I would have thought that I wouldn't have to worry about that sort of thing since I'm on my own now, but no…." Yusuke sounded more than just a little angry.

Kurama knew full well how many moody car rides he'd subjected his friend to, but he was in the hypocritical sort of mood in that he didn't like being on the receiving end. "Well," he said lightly, "at least she didn't do what my mother did."

"Yeah?" Yusuke sounded doubtful. "What's that?"

The redhead managed a tight-lipped smile. "Promise that you won't laugh."

Of course, Yusuke broke his promise before Kurama could even finish retelling the incident. And then the brunette raised an eyebrow. "Hey Fox-boy, what's up with this?"

"With what?"

"You have claw marks in your door."

Kurama looked over and saw where he was pointing to. "Ah, yes, that…." He pursed his lips, trying to suppress a smile.

"What?"

"Well, you try teaching a demon from the Makai how to drive, and we'll see how well you handle it."

* * *

"Are you awake?" Mukuro asked from the doorway.

Hiei sat up slightly from his previous slouching position in the window frame. "Yes."

"May I come in?"

He shrugged. "I don't see why not; it's your Keep."

"But your quarters." Mukuro entered and took a seat on the couch near the window. "Yomi sent one of his people to me today. I thought I'd ask for your input before I sent him my reply." She looked over toward the window. "Something's distracting you," she noted, though without impatience, observing the blank face upon her Koorime companion.

"Huh?" Hiei broke away from his neurotic thoughts and looked at her.

"Kurama?"

"I'm going back soon," he said, nodding. "I promised him I wouldn't be gone for too long."

"I've told you before that you may return to that world whenever you wish," Mukuro said. "As I was saying, Yomi—"

"Sent one of his people to you today. What matter is it that you want my input on?"

Mukuro looked thoughtful. He's offered his services," she began, careful in choosing her words, "if we desire, regarding…" She trailed off, observing his facial features closely.

They suddenly appeared most taut. "Regarding that thing in the dungeon, you mean?" Hiei managed to spit out. His tone suggested that it pained him to speak of it.

"Yes." She noticed his tone, the muscles in his face, the way he held his body as he spoke. "I think that perhaps we should accept the offer. He doesn't seem to be affected by any of our interrogators, and every time you make an attempt it only results in you emerging more enraged—"

"It's good of Yomi to offer his help," Hiei said coolly, "but I can handle it myself."

"Fine," said Mukuro, who chose to ignore that Hiei had interrupted her without apology, given their current subject of discussion. "I'll send Yomi a message saying that we don't find his services necessary at the moment."

"I won't find his services necessary at all on this matter," Hiei grumbled to her. "I'll handle it myself."

* * *

"This is Aki," said Kuwabara.

"Hello, Aki," Yukina greeted, smiling.

Aki, being a cat, could only supply a meow in reply. Calico-patterned fur pushed against wire as she paced back and forth, rubbing her body against the side of the cage, as though beckoning the hands of the four spectators to pay her attention.

"Some guy brought her in, said she was a stray at the garage he works in. He's paying for her and her kittens to be vaccinated, and then for Aki to be spayed."

"I guess Aki won't have to worry about using a sheath anymore after this then, huh?" Shizuru teased.

A faint flush spread over Kurama's face. "Did Yusuke tell you?" he demanded.

"No, he did." She pointed to Kuwabara.

The carrot-top grinned. "Urameshi told me about your mom's visit." His grin grew wider as Kurama's face turned redder.

"Are you okay?" Yukina asked Kurama, fascinated by the interesting shade he was turning.

"I do hope that Kuwabara's grateful nobody gossips about his sex life," Kurama mumbled, mustering an embarrassed smile.

"Your forget, Kurama," Shizuru said with a smirk, "that he'd have to have one to gossip about first."

"Hey!" Kuwabara scowled at her, and then donned a more somber expression as he saw a group of attendants coming by with a cart on wheels. "Um, Yukina, you'd probably better not look at this…"

Unfortunately, his words of caution had an opposite effect, and everybody looked up as the cart passed. Shizuru grimaced while Yukina's face drained of all cover. "What—what happened to it?" asked the ice maiden, barely able to conjure her voice.

"Car hit it," Kuwabara answered uneasily. "Smashed its skull."

"Was that a dog?" Shizuru asked, pulling a face.

"It used to be a black lab," Kuwabara said. "I think. Its owners donated the body to the class; we'll probably end up dissecting it." He turned away from the gruesome sight, and then raised his eyebrows. "Kurama, are you okay?" Said redhead leaned slumped over almost double, against the wall, eyes half-closed. "Hey, Kurama?"

'Why do you turn away? Look at it!'

"I don't want to," Kurama whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.

Kuwabara knotted his eyebrows together. "Kurama?" He reached out and gently laid a hand on the Fox's head.

He jumped back, however, when Kurama violently jerked away. "You're hurting me!" the redhead cried out in a tone most unlike his usual one. He stood in a cowering position, looking up at Kuwabara with eyes wide from fright.

His companions watched, completely shocked. "Kurama?" Yukina asked timidly.

The Fox didn't answer. The cold, terrified feeling had dissipated, leaving a sick, queasy sensation in the pit of his stomach. His complexion blanched as his stomach churned.

Shizuru caught the change in color, and managed to grab a trash can before Kurama began vomiting. "It's okay," she reassured passersby. "He just has a weak stomach is all." She exchanged a concerned look with Yukina and Kuwabara.

Kurama made one last heaving noise, followed by a groan, and then he propped himself up shakily on his elbows. He examined the worried faces of his friends looking at him. "I…" He trailed off. "Sorry," he mumbled ashamedly.

"Are you okay, man?" Kuwabara asked, still shaky from Kurama's outbreak.

"… Yes," the Fox answered. "I'm really sorry—I don't know what happened."

"It's okay," Kuwabara said quickly, waving it off. "I'm just glad you didn't faint or anything."

Kurama blinked, wondering if Kuwabara had heard how he'd fainted at work. "Yes," he said uneasily.

The remainder of the visit went without any further incidents of disturbing nature, and aside from a paler complexion than normal, Kurama appeared to have completely recovered from his episode.

"Hey, Kurama, want a kitten?" Kuwabara inquired. "That guy plans to take Aki, but the kittens are still up for grabs."

The Fox smiled. "Thank you, but I really don't think it'd be fair to have a kitten cooped up in such a small apartment all day." He didn't worry too much for the kittens—he was sure that if no one wanted them, Kuwabara would intervene on their behalf. If nothing else, Eikichi might have a new companion, or several, in the future.

"You have a point," the carrot-top said. "And … I'm not sure if I'd trust Hiei with an innocent little animal to begin with. I was joking," he added hurriedly when Yukina donned an expression that might have suggested disapproval of the jest.

While the two aforementioned persons were preoccupied with playing with Aki's kittens, Shizuru approached Kurama.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

Kurama nodded. "Yes."

"Have you been sick lately?"

He shrugged, unsure of what she meant by "sick." "Why?"

"Well, throwing up isn't usually a good thing … But I was wondering more about what you were doing right before that." She shrugged. "I don't think I've ever seen you freak out like that, ever." Shizuru paused, before adding. "And you got a really weird look on your face when my brother mentioned fainting."

Of course he had to display such a gesture in the presence of a psychic. "I fainted at work," he confessed, "a little over a month ago." He wasn't about to say that he'd fainted not even a full day after the startling occurrence during his and Hiei's first attempt to make love.

"How are things at home?" Shizuru continued, not displaying any profound reaction toward what he'd said.

"They're fine," he said thoughtfully. "I've been spending time with my family." He managed a small smile. "It's been rather lonely at home."

"Do you know when Hiei will be back?"

He shook his head. "He never specified a set amount of time he'd be gone. I don't think he really knew when he left when he'd be back."

"Hey," Kuwabara said, interrupting the conversation, "you guys want to grab lunch? Seeing as how your breakfast is in the trash now," he added to Kurama, who appeared hesitant.

"Yeah," Shizuru chimed in. "Unless you want to go back to your lonely apartment?"

Kurama smiled sheepishly. "I suppose I can't argue with those points, can I?"


	13. Chapter XIII

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XIII  
December 5, 2005 and January 8, 2006  
Edited: July 19, 2007

"Kurama, the light's green."

The Fox snapped out of his daze and pressed down on the accelerator. "Sorry," he said.

"Airhead," Yusuke taunted. Kurama supplied no retort, merely shrugging at the insult. "Have you been sleeping?" Yusuke asked, noticing his companion's tired state.

"Yes, just not as much," he replied, using the same explanation he'd already given Shiori and Kazuya. It was true, after all.

"Oh, I get it." Yusuke smirked. "You and Hiei ..."

"That is not why," Kurama said. He wished—Hiei hadn't even returned from Alaric yet. "It's probably due to seasonal changes or something."

"Oh. … So when you say that isn't why, does that mean—?"

"He's still away."

"Oh." That fact didn't seem to sit well with Kurama. "Sorry." He drummed his fingers along the window, forehead creased in thought. "Could I ask your view on something?"

Kurama blinked; the lack of sleep was hurting his eyes. "Regarding what?"

"It's kind of weird; Keiko's parents …"

"Wedding plans?" the redhead guessed.

"It's like they didn't care when we were dating," Yusuke said, nodding, "but so long as we weren't living together, I guess. And now that we are living together, it's kind of like they want us to go and get married right away…. I did promise that she and I will get married, and I'm not backing out of it or anything, but … I was thinking about it, you know, and I don't know what Keiko thinks yet, but there's more important things to do right now than worry about some dumb documents or rings or if people call Keiko Ms. Yukimura or Mrs. Urameshi, or whatever—you know what I mean?" Before Kurama could answer, Yusuke rushed on. "And come on! It's not like being married to Keiko will make me love her more, or less, or whatever, than I do right now, right? I mean, you and Hiei wouldn't love each other any more or any less if you were married or not—well, if you two could marry—right?" He frowned. "That kind of sucks for you guys, huh?"

The redhead shrugged. "I don't need a piece of paper from the government to tell me that I love Hiei. And as for you two—personally, I have never regarded marriage as a high priority. That's a personal choice, I know, but too many people do it for the wrong reasons and botch it. I think that, for you two, it would be fine someday, but right now I think you're setting yourself up for—and please take this constructively—failure." He shrugged. "But Keiko is not my lover, and dealing with her parents is not an issue I have to take care with. You'll have to make whatever choice you're most comfortable with."

* * *

"They'll migrate in a month or two," Yukina said. "Some already are. The ones that stay will move closer to the Temple when food grows scarce." She beamed at the little bird standing in the middle of her palm, and watched as it hopped to the ground. "They can care for themselves most of the time, but other times they're so fragile."

"Well, when all my schooling's done, I'll be able to fix any of the ones that break," Kuwabara boasted. He tried enticing a bird to come to his hand like they did for Yukina, but none expressed interest in the human. "I wonder if they sense Eikichi on me."

Nearby, concealed among the top branches of a tall tree, Hiei sat. He watched the couple on the ground but paid no attention to their conversation; he respected Yukina's privacy enough not to spy. Watching her didn't constitute as spying, in his opinion—he was simply checking, to assure that his sister was happy. She always was—which in turn made him happy, in a complicated way.

'Did it ever occur to you to go over to her, rather than just watch?'

These weren't Hiei's thoughts; he looked down to find Kurama standing at the base of the tree. He furrowed his brow; had he been here so long that Kurama was now off from work? He had hoped to surprise his comrade at home. Too late now; he descended to the ground, landing beside the Fox. "Perhaps it did," he said. "And perhaps I decided against it."

"Hey Yukina, you want to go inside?" Kuwabara asked. "It's getting kind of cold."

Yukina, being an ice maiden, was unbothered by the autumn chill, but she knew that Kuwabara was human and thus far more sensitive to the temperature. "Of course, Kazuma," she said with a smile, accompanying the carrot-top inside.

Hiei and Kurama watched, unseen by the other couple, from their position amongst the trees. "You know, she likes him too," Kurama said mildly, having sensed Hiei's body tense beside him.

"I'm aware of that," replied Hiei. "Are you cold?" he asked Kurama, not forgetting what Kuwabara had said and keeping in mind that Kurama's flesh was human.

"I'll be fine," he answered, trying to ignore the shiver running through his body.

"Well, I am," Hiei said, noticing the shiver. "Did you drive here?"

Kurama shook his head. "I wanted some exercise. But if you really are cold, you can go ahead, and I'll catch up to you." He waited, wondering if Hiei would now become a black blur and vanish.

He didn't. "I can wait for you." Hesitating only a moment, he took Kurama's hand in his own, leading them away from the Temple and into the city.

* * *

"How was your visit?" Kurama asked over his shoulder.

"Fine," the Koorime said, a little more shortly than he'd intended.

Kurama noticed. "It doesn't sound so," he noted, dividing their dinner and handing Hiei his share. Hiei silently accepted the food, and then merely looked at it. Kurama ate in silence, sensing that delving deeper wasn't the wise thing to do, waiting for Hiei to divulge at his own pace. At one point he glanced up and froze; the Jaganshi sat leaning against the back of his chair, staring at Kurama with the strangest expression on his face. "Hiei?"

Once Kurama met his gaze, Hiei almost immediately averted his own to the plate of untouched food in front of him. "I apologize if I was abrupt with your question," he murmured.

Kurama recalled a time not so long ago when Hiei would have never said sorry to anybody, even him, for his actions. Such apologies, he noticed, had only developed a few months ago. "Was your stay with Mukuro unpleasant?" he inquired.

"If you're asking me if she did something to anger me, no."

"That's not what I'm asking—but did something happen to … displease you in some fashion?"

Hiei began to eat his previously untouched food; Kurama watched him patiently. The Koorime had finished over half of his meal before he spoke. "Yes, something did happen; however, I don't really want to discuss it right now. Maybe later. Wait for me in bed—I'll be in as soon as I'm finished here."

The Fox blinked. "… Of course," he replied, standing, reaching for his own empty plate and eating utensils.

"I'll take care of those."

Kurama immediately retracted his hands. "Okay." He left Hiei and returned to the bedroom, unsure of whether or not he should remove his clothes.

Hiei entered the room several minutes later, eyeing Kurama, who sat cross-legged on the bed. "How much sleep have you been getting?" he inquired, sitting down beside the Kitsune.

"Enough to get by," answered Kurama. "I've been a little tired off and on, but it's no big deal."

"… Are you tired right now?" Hiei inquired, watching the redhead in a way that Kurama easily recognized.

He smirked. "This is the first night in how long that we've been in the same room—the same world—and now we're on the same bed, and you insinuate that I'm too tired to have sex?" With a sly smile he held up a condom that he'd retrieved from the bedside table, just in case. "I'd love to make love with you," he said, pulling his shirt over his head.

Hiei grabbed the Fox's hands. "Let me undress you," he said, taking Kurama's shirt and tossing it aside. Kurama fell back on the bed as Hiei crawled atop him, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck and torso as his hands fumbled with Kurama's pants. "I missed you," Hiei said, sliding the pants off and throwing them to the floor, admiring the naked body that lay before him, illuminated by the natural and artificial lights outside and practically glowing white in the darkened room. He began wriggling out of his clothes.

"I missed you, too," said Kurama, watching Hiei undress. The Koorime noticed, and began to take his clothes off more slowly, making the act more sensual. A brief glance at the region below Kurama's waistline told Hiei that his display was quite appreciated.

"And I missed this too." Hiei kicked his own clothes off the foot of the bed. "I don't recall masturbating so much over such a short period of time," he added bluntly, taking the condom from Kurama.

The redhead laughed at his coarseness. "That's romantic."

"It's the truth." Hiei grinned, and kissed one of Kurama's knees, not caring that it was probably silly to do so. Encouraged by a soft sigh from the Fox, Hiei moved his head further up the leg and nibbled at a deliciously plump thigh, liking the silky feel of the flesh there against his cheek. Kurama uttered a crooning sound and wrapped both legs around Hiei's waist in an effort to pull the Koorime's body closer to his own; he uttered a sharp gasp as Hiei drove himself inside, and then exhaled a low, loud moan. He had definitely missed this too.

Hiei's grin could be seen in the dark; he leaned in close and began describing to Kurama the different fantasies he'd devised to thwart loneliness while in Alaric. "Pervert!" Kurama hissed playfully at the end of one.

The Koorime grunted. "Heh … you know … you'd like it … OHH!" Both bodies shuddered as their owners cried out at the unanimous peak. Hiei lost control of his tempo, pounding his hips in a mad fashion against a shrieking Kurama. "Uhn!" he grunted, emptying the last of himself before pulling out. He lay on his stomach beside Kurama, resting his head on the Fox's chest, panting and watching his face.

Kurama's breathing was slow and deep; he stretched out a little, wrapping his legs around Hiei's. "… You're right," he panted after a while, smiling. "I might like that." He chuckled and stroked Hiei's hair.

"How are you?" Hiei murmured, rubbing his head against Kurama's hand, liking the feeling.

"Fine," replied the Fox. "You didn't hurt me or anything," he added, knowing that was Hiei's concern. "You are a gentle, pleasing lover," he continued, laughing softly.

Hiei afforded a small smile, tracing a little finger over Kurama's lips. He sat up, discarding the condom into the wastebasket, repositioning himself so that he leaned against the headboard. He heaved a sigh, the expression on his face unreadable. "… You wanted to know what displeased me while I was away?" he said after a while.

"Yes?" Kurama replied, his interest piqued. Perhaps this was the "later" in "maybe later."

Hiei gave him an odd look; for several moments he didn't reply at all. And then: "There's this thing," he began slowly, "at the fortress. I can't stand this thing."

"Oh? And what is this thing?"

"It's a prisoner."

"It? You must not hold this prisoner in high esteem." He noticed Hiei's jaw clench. "What did … 'It', do?"

He heaved a sigh. "Sometimes I can barely stand to look at It," he muttered, not answering the question. "It's painful."

"Is 'It' ugly?" Kurama tried to joke. Hiei just looked at him. "Well, whatever 'It' did," he continued hastily, "it couldn't be worse than you could handle, right? 'It' is in prison, after all." He smiled at Hiei.

The Koorime shifted his gaze and stared at a few toes poking out from under the blankets. He wiggled them to affirm that they were his and not his companions. "Perhaps … But imprisonment doesn't make the crime uncommitted. What if there is no punishment fitting enough? satisfying enough?"

'Hiei acts strangely after lovemaking sometimes,' Kurama thought. "That's a good point," he agreed. "But allowing 'It' to get to you will only make 'It' more powerful, you know?" Hiei chewed on his lip. That expression was back. "'It' must have really aggravated you, huh?" the redhead added.

Hiei stared at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, mouth set in a firm frown. And then he got to his feet, walked to the window, and opened it. "Yeah," he muttered, jumping out onto the terrace.

* * *

"See here, how it reacts when I raise my hand, like this, how its body cowers?" The voice was bragging. "Like a dog. It knows that I am master, and it is a bitch."

"Fascinating ..." muttered another voice insincerely.

"You are not amused?"

"Watching you break another of your toys does little to entertain me. By the way, 'It' is giving you a Look—I had no idea that was how the bitch submitted to the master."

"Don't fret, Sardonic One," the first replied acidly. "It simply needs breaking in. And don't give me that look! It's but a slave without a soul."

"Then what is your game's objective?" the other said softly. "I always thought that in order to experience feelings such as love, anger, sadness, pain—yes, pain—one has to possess a soul. So which is it? Either your toy has a soul, and you are wrong, or you play your games with a dead thing, and such things cannot be broken, so there is no point."

* * *

Kurama woke gasping. He sat up, wiping sweat off his brow, his neck, his chest. 'Odd dream,' he thought, taking a few deep breaths. He looked at the spot next to him; empty—at least he hadn't woken Hiei.

Where was the Jaganshi, anyway? He heard nothing in the front of the apartment.

A breeze from outside, much cooler than earlier, caught his attention, and he looked toward the window. Still open, and there was Hiei, still out on the terrace.

Hiei watched a few dying leaves on the fire escape stir as the wind that had torn them from whatever tree they had come from tossed them about. Both the wind and the chill from earlier in the evening had increased, and Hiei suspected rain.

'I loved the pained shrieks It emitted, Its body going limp in my hands, Its blood oozing over my fingers. I loved knowing that I was the one who made It suffer, to know I could prolong Its torture—no, the word torture makes it sound too much like a truly sentient being—I'll call it manipulation—or end it, eliciting perhaps one pathetic little shriek from It before It sputtered and died. I loved knowing I had absolute power over It.'

He heard a rumble, and looked skyward—and then squeezed his eyes shut as a brilliant flash of lightning lit up the sky.

From inside, Kurama noticed the change in the sky's color and consistency. "Hiei—."

Too late. He widened his eyes as the Koorime made a strange jerky movement while the rain began to pour down, and failed to tame a smirk when Hiei scrambled inside, already soaked. "Think you can crawl any faster?" he joked.

Hiei looked up, having to push the long, drenched curtain that was his bangs out of the way in order to see Kurama. "How long have you been up?"

"A few minutes. I rolled over and your side of the bed was cold." His smirk became a grin. "Would you like a towel?" Hiei answered with some mumbled curses, but he interpreted that as a "yes" and went out to the hall to retrieve one. "How long have you been out there?" More mumbling. "Did you experience any sort of epiphany?" he jested, tossing the towel to Hiei.

"Epiphany?" The Koorime buried his head in the towel. "No, I was just thinking."

"'It'?"

Hiei decided to make sure he was completely dry before answering. "It," he affirmed, laying the towel on the foot of the bed. It … and "It."

* * *

"Oh man," muttered Shuichi.

"What?" Oshi asked in a bored voice.

"This score …" he groaned. "Not so good."

"Let me see," Oshi demanded as he ripped Shuichi's test from his hands and skimmed it over. "So?"

"It's not a good grade."

"But it's not a bad grade," he said.

"… I could do a lot better," Shuichi mumbled.

Oshi smirked. "Trying to be like you brother?" he taunted. "You gonna go gay too?"

"No," he said indignantly.

"Let's go," Oshi said, thrusting Shuichi's test back to him; Shuichi hastily followed him through the crowd of departing students. "Damn, I'm hungry!" his friend complained. "Why didn't Icchi and Henkutsu choose a closer place to meet?"

"Where are they today?" Shuichi asked.

"Um, ditched," Oshi replied, as though it were a stupid question.

Somewhere in the back of Shuichi's mind he marveled at how those two managed admittance to Meiou in the first place. After covering about a dozen blocks and Oshi swearing over how far they had to walk, they met up with the pair of ditchers. "Took you long enough," Icchi said.

"You have any idea how far this is from the school?" Oshi retorted. "Besides, Shuichi was being a nerdy homo over his grades."

"Not true!" he protested.

Henkutsu grinned malevolently. "You gonna start talking with a lithp?" he asked.

"No!" he said angrily.

"Can we go eat now?" Oshi whined. "I didn't eat lunch." The group of boys entered the first restaurant they came across. Shuichi surveyed the shop's interior and groaned: The red-headed Shuichi sat at a table near the back of the shop, accompanied by Yusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara, and Yukina. Keiko looked as though she were working at the place—she stood behind the counter—and she and Yusuke were talking to a man Shuichi presumed to be the owner. His brother's boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.

Icchi also looked, and sneered. "Speaking of nerdy homos …"

"Isn't that your step-brother?" Yukina asked Kurama, watching the door.

He followed her gaze. "Yes," he said, eying his brother's friends warily.

Mr. Yukimura also noticed the newcomers. "Keiko, we have customers," he said, abandoning the conversation with his daughter and her boyfriend.

Yusuke cracked his knuckles, relieved that Keiko's father was preoccupied for the moment. Talk had just shifted to Yusuke's employment situation, which usually proceeded to talk of housing and marital status … He looked over and frowned though, when he saw who it was that diverted Mr. Yukimura's attention. He didn't recognize the boys with Kurama's brother, but remembered Kurama telling him about an incident involving a pornographic videotape; he didn't like the contemptuous glances being thrown at the redhead. He made his way over to the table where Kurama sat with Yukina and Kuwabara. "Heads up," he said to Kurama, who merely nodded his head and took a sip of his coffee.

"Huh?" Kuwabara asked. Yusuke gestured toward Oshi, Icchi, and Henkutsu. "Are they…?" Yusuke nodded; Kuwabara's expression soured.

"Are they what?" asked Yukina.

"The token bad boys that everyone's younger sibling takes up with for a little while," Kurama said mildly, staring into his cup. Yukina gave him a curious look. "These ones," he added, draining his drink, "have adopted a bad attitude toward me; they don't like people … like Hiei and me." He shrugged, unsure of how much she knew about this sort of subject.

"Why?" asked the perplexed ice maiden.

He made an absent gesture with his hand. "That's a good question. There are generally several possible explanations—"

"It's because they're dumb," Kuwabara said.

"… Or ignorant," Kurama said wearily, but he wasn't in the mood to rationalize the glares being thrown his way. He rose to refill his drink.

The bell above the shop's door rang again; Mr. Yukimura looked up from his cooking and observed this newcomer. He quirked an eyebrow—this was perhaps the oddest-looking young man he'd ever seen in person: shorter than average height, black hair worn in spikes, odd-colored eyes, and all dark-hued clothing. A member of the punk of gothic movement, perhaps, Yukimura thought. But appearances aside, money was money. "May I help you?" he asked.

"He's with him, Dad," Keiko said, gesturing from Hiei over to Kurama.

Hiei glanced at the counter, nonchalantly observing Kurama's younger brother and his companions before walking over to where Kurama was steadily depleting his second cup of coffee. "They're looking at you weird," he commented. "Why?"

"They're looking at us weird," Kurama said, giving him a "you-should-know" look. Hiei blinked, realizing the Fox's implication, and then muttered a "Hn" and sat down between Kurama and Yukina.

"Keiko, do you know that man?" Mr. Yukimura asked, eyeing Hiei. "I don't think I've ever seen him around here before."

"That's Hiei," she said.

"He's not the world's most social person," Kuwabara volunteered, ignoring the reproachful glare thrown his way, "if you know what I mean."

"I see…. Nice to meet you, Hiei," he said, stepping out from behind the counter and extending his hand. "You might have heard about me; I'm Keiko's father—Yusuke's future father-in-law, hopefully," he added, clearing his throat.

"Um, yeah," Yusuke said. He and Keiko exchanged an uneasy look.

Hiei eyed Yukimura's hand, and after a moment shook it. "You're the man riding Yusuke and Keiko to get married immediately," he stated bluntly.

"Well, call me old-fashioned—"

"I hate it when people say that," Yusuke muttered, so low that only the resident demons heard.

"—but I think that if a couple wants to share a roof—"

"Here it comes," Yusuke said.

"—they ought to share a last name. You two," he said to Yukina and Kuwabara. "You two are courting?"

"Um, yeah," Kuwabara said, while Yukina nodded. Kurama discreetly reached over and massaged Hiei's forearm, which had suddenly tensed.

"But do you two live together?"

"No," Hiei muttered as Kuwabara gave the same reply louder. "What?" he hissed at Kurama, who had a small, amused smile on his face. The Fox merely shook his head, still smiling.

"You see, Keiko?" Mr. Yukimura continued. "While a couple is courting, they live apart; when a couple is married, then they live together." Keiko merely shrugged and nodded, the way that one might to keep up appearances to someone speaking a different language.

Mr. Yukimura's badgering bothered Kurama. "… With all due respect, Sir," he began, fiddling with his once again empty cup, "I disagree. I don't believe that a marriage certificate and a wedding ring define a couple's ability to love and commit to one another; I think that you can trust Yusuke and Keiko to show devotion to each other and work as a team, whether a minister or a judge declares that team official or not." He took a moment to observe Mr. Yukimura, who was apparently mulling over Kurama's words, before he rose to refill his cup again.

An arm shot out and wrapped around his waist. "No," Hiei said, pulling Kurama down onto his lap. (Mr. Yukimura raised an eyebrow.) "You haven't been sleeping well; you don't need anymore caffeine."

"Gross!" Henkutsu jeered. "Gay display!" Laughter erupted from him and his companions. Kurama's eyes narrowed slightly, but to his friends appeared otherwise unaffected; however, Hiei could feel the Fox's leg muscles tensing up.

Yusuke shot a distasteful look in the boys' direction. "You know," he muttered darkly, "you might get in trouble if you beat up your brother and his friends . . ."

"Yeah," Kuwabara chimed in. "But we—"

"Would be like me," Kurama interrupted, "and not stoop to engaging in physical conflict with children. But thank you anyhow." He managed a half-smile. "At least Shuichi isn't laughing." Neither Yusuke nor Kuwabara looked too pleased; Keiko managed a tight-lipped expression bearing some microscopic semblance to a smile; Yukina gave him a slightly sad look, beginning to understand what the redhead had been talking about earlier.

Mr. Yukimura furrowed his brow. "You two are…?"

"Lovers," Hiei said bluntly. He didn't care much for the ningen slang.

"And not married," Kurama added wryly, pleased with the look on Keiko's father's face, and thinking optimistically that Shuichi's backwards friends had unwittingly given him his touché. The said group was leaving now, he noticed. "Hiei, perhaps we should be going now," he said, getting off the Koorime's lap. He said good-bye to his friends, who reciprocated the farewell, and then left, Hiei following.

"Hey Shuichi," Henkutsu snickered. "I think your brother wants to rape us." Shuichi eyed Henkutsu warily as the latter turned around so he faced the redhead and Hiei. "Hey homos," he taunted. "No means no; you aren't gonna give me AIDS."

"What is he talking about?" Hiei muttered, annoyed.

"I'm … not entirely sure," Kurama answered. And then he smiled slightly, though at what, Hiei was unsure.

"Ah!" Henkutsu cried out as he tripped, landing on his rear on the pavement.

Shuichi smiled. "Nice going, Grace," he said.

"Fuck off!" the other boy growled. "Somebody help me up!"

Moving too swiftly for Henkutsu to object, Kurama bent down and pulled him to his feet. "My, aren't these sidewalks crooked?" he asked in a sweet voice. Flashing him a cheery smile, Kurama brushed a bit of dirt off Henkutsu, and then walked past him with Hiei in tow, while the group of boys stared after the redhead, startled.

Henkutsu shifted on his feet, face turning red, looking like he didn't know what to do. "Fags!" he called in a slightly shrill voice, and then immediately shrank back when Hiei turned around and gave him a piercing, hellish glare.

"Are you coming, Hiei?" Kurama practically sang in that same sweet voice.

Hiei's glare dissolved into a wicked grin that displayed his fangs. The group quickly dispersed, and did not see what Hiei saw—a large tree root rapidly dwindling in size and disappearing into a crack in the sidewalk. "Coming, Kurama."


	14. Chapter XIV

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XI  
April 14, 2006 and June 22, 2006  
Edited: September 25, 2007

A prodding in his back woke Hiei. He opened his eyes, knowing the source of the prodding even before he rolled over.

The body beside his was thrashing about, its lips murmuring soft cries. He sat up, eyeing Kurama worriedly. This breed of incidents was repeating itself often as of late, and was taking a noticeable effect on his companion, despite Kurama's insistence that he was in fact fine.

The episode ceased, and the redhead's eyes fluttered open, and after a moment of disorientation, they focused on Hiei. "Did I wake you?" Kurama asked sleepily.

"No," Hiei lied. He slid out of bed, finding his pants. "You were tossing," he said while he dressed, feigning nonchalance. "Bad dream?"

Kurama didn't answer immediately. He ran a hand through his hair, surprised when he felt sweat clinging to the skin beneath. "I don't remember…" he replied faintly, staring at the salty droplets on his fingers; his hand was shaking.

Hiei noticed. "You're trembling."

"… Yes," Kurama affirmed absently, staring at the appendage; he balled it into a fist in an effort to stop it, or at least to conceal it. He looked at Hiei's concerned face, mustered a smile for the Koorime. "That's odd," he said. And then, "I'm sorry I woke you." He tried not to smile too smugly at the expression on Hiei's face. "You're not so well at lying when you've only woken up."

Hiei grunted a "Hn," in response, mildly insulted that Kurama could so effortlessly see through his mask. "It doesn't matter," he said, shrugging it off. "I wanted to get up now."

A small laugh escaped Kurama. "Oh really?"

"Yes," he said, "But you are going back to sleep now." This said, he pushed Kurama back onto the mattress.

"Very well, Mother," answered the Kitsune sarcastically, even as he yawned. "I do have work, though, so wake me at six, please."

Hiei agreed to this—and smirked when he heard light snoring. For almost being a mother hen at times, Kurama was a hypocrite and a half when his own well being was brought under scrutiny.

He went into the living room, making sure to close the bedroom door as he did, and for want of noise turned the television on low volume—though at this hour most of the programming was peddling, be it of this or that ridiculous product, vacation, or God. He shook his head, wondering how so many humans could allow themselves to be chained to boxes like this one. But soon he wouldn't have to wonder such trivial things, if only for a little while. The officials in Demon World were gathering for council, and Hiei would not be long in joining them.

Kurama had not suggested accompanying him this time, for which he was thankful. Kurama was a demon (and anyone who implied otherwise, Hiei would set straight as swiftly as possible) but he had no business entering that realm—and would not, if the Jaganshi had his way.

Six o'clock rolled around, but Kurama didn't stir when Hiei tried to shake him awake, even after several more attempts. Hiei shook him harder, suddenly anxious. "Wake up!" he said loudly, a slight pleading tone in his voice.

"… Hm?" The Fox opened his eyes drowsily, gradually growing aware of—to his bewilderment—a somewhat panicked Hiei kneeling on the mattress beside him. "Is something the matter?" he yawned.

Hiei quickly re-donned his composure, scolding himself for being so rash. "It's time to get up," he replied, rising to his feet. Kurama nodded, crawled out of bed, and half-staggered toward the bathroom. He was not so graceful at movement when he had only woken up, Hiei though wryly. He soon heard the drumming noise of water hitting the shower walls. An image went through his head, that made his body warmer than usual: Kurama standing naked under the shower's spray, his skin gleaming as the liquid ran over him, white lather rinsing through sopping wet red hair and running down nude pink flesh…  
He hitched a breath, gathering himself once more. 'Enough of that!' he scolded himself. Now simply was not the time.

Breakfast was waiting by the time Kurama had showered, dressed, and emerged into the front room. "You didn't have to…" he began, observing the food. "I could have grabbed something on the way."

"You don't need junk first thing in the morning," Hiei countered. He reminded Kurama of some know-it-all parent from a television sitcom—and scowled when the redhead told him so.

"When do you have to leave?" Kurama inquired, taking a bite of eggs.

"I don't have to leave at some designated time," he answered haughtily. "I leave on my own time."

"And that would be…?"

"I was planning on tomorrow morning."

The Fox nodded, swallowing another bite. "Well then," he said, a sly look taking over his face. "We'll have to prepare a proper send-off for you tonight."

Hiei rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. Kurama noticed, and smiled. "I had better go," he said, placing his dishes in the sink. "Thank you for breakfast."

He received a shrug. "Consider it fuel for the astounding performance I expect of you tonight," Hiei replied.

Kurama laughed a little. "Do note that I'll watch you at lunch, then, and expect you to fuel up for reciprocating that performance."

Akira was waiting for him in the hall. "You look … not your best."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why hello to you too, Akira, and I feel fantastic today. How are you?"

The willow-man laughed. "I'm feeling some frost-bite at the moment," he said, smiling apologetically to Kurama as the two boarded the elevator.

The only sound inside the small compartment was the hum of the cable lowering them to the ground floor. Kurama suddenly found himself musing about how he put his safety in the dependency of the cable, and how easy it could be for the thing to snap, leaving him to fall to his death—and immediately he felt shocked for even thinking such a thing. "I am tired," he admitted to Akira as they stepped off the elevator. "I've been having trouble sleeping; is it that noticeable?" 

"Only a little," Akira told him, following him into the parking lot. "You look kind of like I do sometimes after studying all night."

'Right,' Kurama thought; he had forgotten that in addition to his job at the company—and who knew where else he possibly claimed employment?—Akira was still attending school. "You don't mind walking, do you? My car hasn't been on its best behavior due to the cold."

"I don't mind," Akira told him, zipping up his coat. "How far is it?"

"Not too far." Kurama shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat and shivered a little from the cold, a reminder that winter was a short time coming. "Don't tell Hiei about the sleep problems," he said. "Please. I don't want him to worry." The same reason he continued evading the concerns of his mother and Kazuya.

"Okay." Akira shrugged. "But wouldn't he know already? Don't you two share a bed?"

"Yes..." He pursed his lips, looking thoughtful. "He might know—Well, he probably does know," he amended, being realistic.

Heat engulfed the two chilled bodies as they entered the restaurant. Akira began rubbing his hands, coaxing warmth into the numb appendages. Kurama swiftly mimicked his movements. "I see Lucrece," he murmured. She was easy to pick out from the crowd—as were at least a couple of her companions.

"You two look frozen," Kuwabara said as they approached the table.

"It is rather cold out," Kurama admitted. "Kuwabara, I don't believe you've met Akira?" This lunch was in part his thank-you to the latter and his girlfriend for the apartment, and helping him the time he'd fainted.

Introductions were quickly made, and almost immediately after Akira marveled at Yukina's "impressive dye-job" while ogling her hair.

"Dye?" asked the confused ice maiden.

"Just smile and nod," Kuwabara told her, quietly.

"The boldest that I ever got was streaking my hair with henna," Akira said. "My father was not pleased."

"His father's also a prick," Lucrece supplemented. "That man was more than just 'not pleased' when he found out that Akira had taken up with a darker color, too." From her tone, Kurama highly doubted that the "darker color" was linked to dyes. "The little things that folk get riled up over, you know?"

"Yes," Hiei suddenly said, so vehemently it startled Kurama.

"Well, you and Shuichi would know what I mean..."

"Er, yes," Kurama agreed, eyeing Hiei oddly—he didn't think that Hiei and Lucrece were thinking of the same scenarios. "Kuwabara, how are your classes?"

"Oh, they're not too hard," the carrot-top said. "I've gotten used to all the dissecting—though sometimes I think it's enough to make me go vegetarian..." He trailed off, examining the menu. "But not quite," he said, spotting a meat dish that sounded good.

Meanwhile, Hiei started snapping his fingers high in the air. Kurama tried pulling his arm down. "Waiters and waitresses hate it when people do that," he hissed.

"And I hate going hungry while they don't do their job," Hiei countered. He quit though, and peered into Kurama's face, as though he were just now seeing something. "You're pale," he observed.

"Am I?"

"Yeah..." And then he resumed snapping his fingers (Kurama rolled his eyes), and a harried-looking waitress approached their table.

"Are you all ready to order?" the waitress asked in a super-sugary voice, all the while giving Hiei a malignant look. (He quickly matched it.) Everyone started pitching out their various orders; Hiei and the waitress soon got in an argument about how rare he could have a steak. He insisted he ought to bloody and near-raw if he wanted, while she protested that it would be a health code violation to fill such an order.

"You serve fish raw," Hiei argued, "so why not beef?"

"E coli, for one reason," Kurama said. He apologized to the waitress, who continued glaring at Hiei as though she'd like nothing more than for him to contract the disease. "Perhaps they could cook his food as rare as legally possible?" he proposed, and then he gave Hiei an exasperated look as the waitress walked away.

"I didn't sick a plant on her," Hiei defended, thinking of the big-haired girl in Okinawa.

"Hiei, what is your job?" Lucrece asked.

Hiei furrowed his brow—he hated human small talk—contemplating how he should answer.  
"Hiei..." Kurama's mind reared, trying to think of a position for the Jaganshi.  
"Is a security guard," Kuwabara finished, earning a grateful look from Kurama, and a bored "Hn" from Hiei.

"Yukina looked happy today," Kurama commented, searching Hiei's face for a reaction.  
Hiei remained placid. "I'm glad she's happy," he said, shrugging. "I can't make her happy."

Usually, Kurama would have made some remark on how the ice maiden still pined for her supposedly missing brother, but tonight there were other things on his mind. "You and Lucrece seemed quite compatible at lunch," he said after a while.

Hiei stared at Kurama, noting a change in his tone. "Regarding?"

"Regarding," he repeated, staring Hiei calmly in the face, "people being riled up over little differences."

"You disagree? After all you said about...?"

"I don't think you were thinking about that," Kurama said, observing his lover closely.  
Said lover narrowed his eyes. "And what is it that I am believed to have thought?"  
Kurama gave him a pensive look. "I know," he said slowly, wishing to be delicate with his word choice, "that Yukina's people, the Koorime, don't often give birth to male—." Hiei looked as though Kurama had just punched him. "Am I close?" the Fox asked softly.  
He did not answer. Instead, he rose and silently walked away from Kurama, toward the bedroom, and gestured with one hand that the redhead was to follow him.

Hiei lay curled against Kurama, resting his head on the other's chest. He looked tired, and that combined with his current mood and lack of clothing made Kurama look at him and absently think of a small child—though not long before, he and Hiei had engaged in activities that the he would sooner die than engage in with an actual child, small or otherwise. The Kitsune lay quietly, petting Hiei's hair, waiting for him to speak first.

"And so," Hiei said, concluding his tale, "even though Shigure is dead, I will never tell Yukina that I am her brother. That's one of the reasons I grow so furious with you when you bait me about it."

"Furious?" Kurama repeated softly. "I don't remember you ever behaving furiously toward me; irritable, yes, and angry, but never furious."

"Why do you have to use so many words?" Hiei asked, looking uncomfortable. Understandably, Kurama thought. He quit stroking Hiei's hair, wrapping an arm around him instead.

"I don't want your pity, Kurama," Hiei said suddenly.

"Of course," Kurama replied. "We all have our baggage."

Hiei closed his eyes while Kurama began kissing his neck, and moaned softly as the kissing turned into nibbling. "Again, so soon?" he asked, though he certainly did not mind the distraction from gloomier thoughts. He uttered a throaty growl and threw his head back into Kurama's collar bone, found the Fox's hand, and placed it on his crotch, allowing Kurama to feel the fruit of his ministrations.

"Apparently, not too soon, Hiei," Kurama teased slyly, giving it a gentle squeeze. He rested his head on Hiei's shoulder, listening to the Koorime hiss and moan as he worked him. He could feel the pleasant flush of Hiei's skin—Or was it his own?

Hiei cried out as that familiar hot, tense feeling rippled through him. He pushed into Kurama's grip, panting, grunting, and sounding as though he were in pain, though Kurama knew it to be quite the opposite.

Of course he had always suspected Hiei's origins were something similar to what had been confirmed. Knowing what he did about the Koorime people, and knowing Hiei as he did, it didn't require much of an imagination. No wonder Hiei was prone to being a loner, often bearing a contemptuous attitude.

"Kurama!" Hiei groaned, resting his back against the Fox. Kurama slid out from behind Hiei, lowering him down onto the mattress. He looked up and saw the redhead straddling his hips, bending down to lick his nipples. "Oh…" he groaned, arching his back. "Too soon," he said weakly.

The Fox stared Hiei in the eye, his own glinting bright green beneath a partially-opaque red curtain of damp, mussed hair. "I can wait," he said, turning his attention back to Hiei's nipples. He gave the right nipple one last little lick, blowing on it, and then inching backward, rubbing his crotch against Hiei's. Kurama made a small sound of pleasure as he felt his already-aroused organ stiffen further, Hiei's rapidly reviving under him.

Both lovers began undulating their hips against one another, Kurama adding a little bounce to his movements. He cried out each time he touched down against Hiei, pitch growing higher each time, skin flushing. Hiei writhed beneath him, excited by the constant moans.

He cried out, bucking into Kurama hard, all the more so as he heard the Fox scream. He shuddered, and then lay still, watching a satiated Kurama lean over, panting and easing himself off of Hiei. "Exceptional, Hiei," Kurama panted, lying next to him.

"Exceptional?" Hiei repeated with a smirk, mocking the Fox's post-sex vocabulary. He wrapped an arm around Kurama, nuzzling his face into the redhead's hair, inhaling the pleasant mixture of sweat and floral scent. Perhaps, he thought in a moment of euphoria, he ought to share such things with Kurama more often…

And then the orgasmic haze lifted, clearing his mind, and he quickly disregarded the notion. 'Think with your mind,' he scolded himself, versus thinking with the other factor.

"Think what with your mind?" Kurama murmured drowsily, curling against him.

For a moment Hiei panicked, but remembered that he was the telepath, and realized that he must have thought aloud. "Nothing," he muttered, tightening his grasp around the Fox's waist.

He rose before Kurama the following morning. The Fox was sleeping soundly, for which Hiei was thankful. He roused the other demon slightly, only to say that he was leaving now, to which he received a barely audible "Come back soon," before Kurama again succumbed to sleep. Good, thought Hiei. Kurama needed sleep.

It was possible for Hiei to cross over at a location on Genkai's property—quite convenient, he mused, as the old woman had made her land welcome to refugee apparitions, and there were no humans around who might stumble between worlds. With his speed, he arrived shortly, but did not immediately continue his journey to Mukuro; instead, he lingered, waiting for the sun—and the nearby inhabitants—to rise.

The sky became a medley of pastel colors, and shortly after that a door slid open, and Yukina emerged from the temple, still in her nightclothes. Hiei watched from the trees as she approached the basin in the middle of the temple's courtyard, and breaking through the thin film of ice on the surface drew water- for hygienic or culinary purposes, Hiei surmised- from it to take inside.

Hiei could see her breath as she exhaled, little gossamer wisps of silver and white, looking almost preternatural standing out against the soft gold behind Yukina. Of course, this morning chill did not bother her—the frigid nature of the Floating Isle had been much more severe than this pre-winter climate.

It almost hurt Hiei in a way now to watch her. He had not realized it until yesterday while listening to the conversation at lunch, making observations, while thinking then and during the time after making love to—or, perhaps, being made love to by—Kurama, but before falling asleep. Thinking of his birth and immediate banishment from that city of his nativity, of life afterward, of Yukina, of all the melancholy and loathe he had and still did carry, of how it all bore down on him; and thinking of likewise, perhaps even more so haunting thoughts that weighed on him, that he could not ever share with Kurama, a horrible realization had dawned on him: That some small part of him had come to resent his little sister; that she was an indirect, even if innocent, cause for some of this pain; and that to all of this she was completely oblivious!

Hiei turned away from her, before she had even closed the door, and moved toward the Makai. There lay painful mementos of sentiment and guilt; now was not the time to loom and dwell over familial matters that only added to it.

He arrived around noon. Most likely he could have made the trip quicker had he wanted, but this didn't concern him. Absently he greeted several of Mukuro's employees and his fellow patrollers. He nodded to someone he saw only out of the corner of his eye, but then a hand grabbed him by the shoulder, and (to his great displeasure) pulled him back.

"What, I don't even get a Hello?" Yusuke demanded.

"Let go of me if you want to keep that arm!" Hiei rasped.

"Close enough," his companion decided, promptly releasing him. And then Yusuke took a step back. "Aw man!" he exclaimed. "You stink!"

Hiei glared, but did not bother to defend himself. He hadn't showered that morning, wanting to ensure there would be enough hot water for Kurama, and knew that by the superficial, hypersensitive standards of the humans, he did not smell his best. "Shut up," was all he said.

"Damn," Yusuke continued, wrinkling his nose. "What were you doing…?" Hiei just stared at him, and Yusuke pulled a face. "Oh … gross … um, sorry…"

The Jaganshi snorted. "You say it as though I didn't like it," he declared, walking past Yusuke. He planned to talk with Mukuro for a while, and then find a bed.

He found Mukuro talking to Yomi, who was the first to notice Hiei's entrance. "Hiei," he greeted, and with a smirk added, "You smell like Kurama. And sweat."

"Hn." If there was a seed of truth to the fame of Yomi's ears, Hiei wagered his and Yusuke's conversation had been overheard.

Yomi's son Shura snickered a little from a chair at the table. Hiei didn't bother wasting time to throw a glare at the child. At another time Shura may have made some insult toward Kurama, as he sometimes did to most people save Yomi; but now, such snickering would be the extents of his childish behavior toward the Fox.

"I didn't expect you so soon," Mukuro commented. "I'd thought you'd want to spend as much time as possible with Kurama—"

'Here it comes,' he thought. Ever since he had told her about Kurama, everyone in the Keep…

"—But I suppose you've already done that," she said, a small smile spreading across her face.

Hiei rolled his eyes. Women. "Where is my bed?"

"Before you catch up on sleep that I'm sure you did not get last night," Yomi said, his smirk lingering for a moment and then disappearing, "there is one matter we should discuss."

"What?" Hiei asked, tired and annoyed. If it pertained to him and Kurama…

"It concerns the one you call 'It'," Mukuro said.

The tired feeling immediately dissipated. "What of It?" he demanded coldly.

"'It' asked—no demanded—to speak with you when you arrived," she told him.

"It is in your Keep under lock and key," Hiei replied testily.

"Not true," Yomi broke in. "'It' has been here for some time now."

Hiei could feel his body go rigid. "Is that so?" he managed, throwing Mukuro a murderous look.

"You were allowing your pride to hinder your decision-making," she defended in a calm tone. He narrowed his eyes, but muttered that he would deal with it later, and asked for the direction to his bed.

Yusuke saw the look on Hiei's for once unreserved face. "What's going on?" he asked warily.

"It is here," Hiei growled without looking at him.

An insect crawled across the stone floor, a large, winged, hideous breed native to the Makai. Mere inches from his face, it should have made him squirm, but he was too tired to care. He was so tired, his body and mind completely exhausted. It was even an effort to maintain the bond between these two, and he was unsure if he could do it anymore, or if he even wanted to.

He wanted to not be tired anymore, or cold, or hungry, or in pain. For this to be no longer a part of him, or he of it.

No longer did he care about the origin of this or that bruise, where that blood—long since dried, or wet and sticky and fresh—had come from, what caused that dull ache or newly afflicted pain. That insect, and others of its kind that would soon come to feed on wounds and lay eggs in dead, ruined flesh; maggots and worms and other decomposers eating out lifeless eyes and burrowing holes and aiding in decay.

None of it mattered; none of it worried him; none of this was real; he would not acknowledge this; it would cease to exist.

Before Kurama even opened his eyes he knew it was raining. He could hear the water striking the walls and windows from outside. He opened his eyes, and recoiled slightly as a roach ran across the coffee table; he told himself that it was only because he was startled.

Yawning a little, he rose and cleared off the assortment of cans that had accumulated on the table's surface over the day. It was a recent development; the isolation ate at him. Kurama grew so used to Hiei's presence, that when the Koorime was gone, he got terribly lonely. 'Is this how Keiko feels when Yusuke's away?' he wondered.

He had managed to fill the void temporarily, spending a little time with his family. Shuichi had come over for a while the day before, at the command of Shiori and Kazuya, since his grades had been slipping. Kurama liked to think that something fulfilling had come out of it.

"Come in!"

Shuichi shrugged, and entered the apartment. He was slightly taken aback by the state of things—dirty dishes littered the kitchen area; clothes hung over chair backs and lay on the floor; the trash container had spilt over. It was odd—usually his brother was so neat.

Said redhead appeared from the bedroom, looking as though he had just recently showered and dressed. "Do you have everything you need?" he asked Shuichi.

"Um, yeah," Shuichi replied, looking around. "Do you need any help cleaning?"

"No," he said, slightly embarrassed. "I'll do that later." He cleared the dishes off the table and sponged down the surface. "You can set your things there."

"Are you okay?" Shuichi asked. His brother, normally so on top of things, appeared quite frazzled.

"I overslept," he admitted. He gestured for Shuichi to have a seat.

"How's Hiei?"

"Well, unless his state of condition has changed without my knowing, he is as I mentioned last night fine," he said. "Um, how are your friends?" he asked, wishing to steer the conversation away from Hiei.

"They're … fine I guess," Shuichi said. "Not that you really care."

"I can't say that I do."

Shuichi shrugged. "I don't blame you." Kurama arched an eyebrow. "They say … stupid things."

"Stop the presses," he said sarcastically.

"Well, I didn't get it at first," Shuichi shot back indignantly.

"Blindly following the crowd seems to be common rule in teenaged hierarchy," the redhead remarked. "Conform, or be cast out … What made you think for yourself?"

He reeked of cynicism, but Shuichi could not fault him. "When I was staying with you and Hiei, they said I had better … Keep certain things covered if I didn't want to get raped."

Kurama stared at him, unable to mask revulsion. "I hope that you know—that you wouldn't even have to debate—that I would never—"

"Of course I know that!" Shuichi exclaimed. "I'm not gay, and we're brothers, for crying out loud. And I don't know Hiei too well, but I know him enough to know he wouldn't do something like that. Like I said, I don't blame you for not liking them; they're not really good people."

"And since you've realized that, I wonder that you still keep company with them," Kurama said. However, he was happy to know that Shuichi had not absorbed the idiocy permeated from the people he surrounded himself with.

"What am I supposed to say to them?" he demanded. "It's like you said, that 'teenaged hierarchy' thing or whatever. How were you able to break away?"

Kurama took a moment to muse over how he might answer that. "I believe that you and I have different circumstances," he said. "I wasn't a punk or an outcast like Yusuke or Kuwabara or Hiei. I … I had long-term aspirations that I was focused on realizing. This worl—that is, this place was to me a mere stopping ground on the way to something of greater significance…."

He cleared his throat. "However, I cannot tutor you to face your peers; you'll have to do that on your own." He eyed Shuichi's schoolbag. So instead, let's focus today on subjects I can help you with."

Sitting there on the couch, slumped over and sipping a beer, Kurama realized a disturbing fact- outside of his family and Hiei, he lacked a life. There had always been some sort of goal in his past, some motivation to keep him striving. What did he have now? 'I shouldn't be having a mid-life crisis for at least twenty more years,' he thought wearily.

No. That was a human affair—his humanity was at best a clever disguise. Demons didn't have the luxury of a middle-aged rite; they just got depressed.

Kurama shook himself, ashamed of this self-pitying stupor. 'I have to get out of here.' He grabbed his coat and shoes, eager to leave. He didn't give a damn where he went, but he had to escape the apartment and the melancholy atmosphere it had acquired.

The quest was half-fulfilled. Kurama had relocated his drinking to a small bar several blocks away from his apartment. He situated himself at a small table at the back of the place, drinking, eating pretzels, and half-listening to the drunken karaoke singers. 'I wonder if I'm that drunk yet.' He winced as one singer's voice cracked on a high note.

"Terrible, isn't it?" Kurama looked up. A young blond man stood over the table, staring down at him through frosty blue eyes. "May I have a seat?" He eyed the man uncertainly, but made an indifferent gesture. "What's your name?"

"Shuichi," he answered, breaking off the tab of his can. He added it to his steadily growing pile. It couldn't be healthy, he knew.

The man didn't give his name, but signaled for a waitress, and offered to buy Kurama's next drink. "You here alone?" he asked the Fox.

"Yes," Kurama replied, sticking a pretzel in his mouth.

"Were you dumped?"

He furrowed his brow. "What?"

"I can tell," the blond continued. "Pretty girl—"

That old mistake again. "I'm not a—"

"—Sitting all by herself in the back, getting drunk and packing it in."

He narrowed his eyes. "I am not—"

"Usually happens after a breakup."

"I'm in a relationship," he rebuked. The man's appearance made him uneasy.

"Well, where is he?" The man mimicked searching the room. "I don't see him."

"He's been away."

His new, unwanted companion tsk-tsked. "He must be a foolish man, leaving a pretty thing like you all alone and unattended."

"I can take care of myself," Kurama retorted. He finished his drink.

"You're going to get drunk."

The redhead laughed mordantly. "Already am." He gasped as an arm wrapped around his waist.

"He can't satisfy you if he isn't here, right?"

Kurama's body stiffened, and he pulled away. "I'm not interested," he said. He stood, and immediately stumbled. It'd been a long time since he'd ever drank so much. His head was spinning.

"Do you need any help?"

"No."

Suddenly he found a pair of arms encircled around him. "I think you do," the man argued, rubbing his crotch against Kurama's backside.

"Gotta be, gotta be, buffalo!"

"Shut up," Shizuru growled. Kuwabara had been reciting the chant the past five minutes.

"Buffalo wings!" the carrot-top shouted adamantly, banging his fists on his chest, grinning antagonistically. "I'm going to see how many I can fit in my mouth."

"I'm going to see how many I can cram down your throat before your face turns blue!" she grumbled.

Keiko laughed, but her attention was diverted to a scene across the street. Two people, one stumbling about as though drunk, were having some sort of argument in the alley beside the bar, and were growing steadily louder. The sober one, a blond man, kept wrapping his arms around the drunk, an androgynous redhead, and attempting to kiss him or her.

The trio recognized the drunk one. "Um … Looks like he might need rescuing," Shizuru managed, expressing her shock through rapid blinking.

"You have any plans tonight?" the unnamed blond asked in a sickly-sweet voice, stroking Kurama's cheek.

"Yes," he said, his voice slurring slightly, pulling away. How he had wound up in the alley, allowing himself to be alone with this person, he wasn't sure. Those eyes were staring at him, devouring him. It made him feel tense.

"Like what?" the molester crooned.

"Sleeping." The redhead hated the feel of the man's fingers playing with his hair. It made him cringe.

"Well that's no fun." He chuckled darkly. "Come home with me, my bed's big enough for two."

"Stop," Kurama said, shying away, trying to dodge his hand. "I have a foybriend—boyfriend."

The intruder laughed, and began groping Kurama more indiscreetly. "Well, where is he? I don't see him."

"Leave him alone," Kuwabara growled, shoving the man away.

The demand earned a slight widening of frost-blue eyes. "What? Him?" the pervert exclaimed. "You're a guy?" He made a face. "Ah … you fag!" he hissed at Kurama.

"You were the one hitting on him!" Keiko shot back.

"Hey, you okay?" Kuwabara asked Kurama, pulling him further away from the man.

"Let me go!" Kurama snarled, wrenching away from his friend's touch.

Kuwabara stared, startled. "Are you okay?" he repeated.

"… Of course," the Fox said, though the incident had left him shaken and feeling sick. The alcohol made it difficult for him to mask his discomfort, and it bled through, easily read by Kuwabara.

"You don't look so hot," he observed.

"I'm fine," Kurama repeated hastily. "I just didn't like the look of him."

"I'll bet," he muttered, taking the man's appearance into account.

Meanwhile, the subject of conversation had now turned on Keiko, but without the former smoothness due to her retort. "You got a dick under there, too?" he demanded, eyeing her suspiciously. Keiko turned red, and delivered an angry kick to the man's more sensitive area. Shizuru applauded her, humorously requesting an encore, which Keiko granted.

"Um, guys?" Kuwabara gestured to Kurama. "What do you want to do about him?"

"Hm … Get some food in him," Shizuru suggested. "It might balance out the liquor some."

"Kurama, are you going to freak out again if I help you?" The Fox shook his head. "Good, because now"—he thrust his fist into the air—"we eat buffalo wings!"

Shizuru's idea that feeding Kurama might help sober him up didn't work out so well; though he did eat, he insisted on washing it down with beer. "You're getting drunk," Kuwabara warned.

"Too late," Kurama replied, shifting—or rather, flopping around—in his seat.

"Hey, um, out there … Are you sure you're okay?"

Kurama's face suddenly formed a serious look for being so drunk. "I hate his eyes. Cruel and hungry. Predatory eyes. Sado's eyes."

Kuwabara choked on a wing. "I warned you, dumb ass," Shizuru said, moving to help him.

"What did you just say?" Keiko asked Kurama.

The Fox stared back at her blankly. "What did who say?" he replied, genuinely confused.

"Ow!" Kuwabara yelled as Shizuru hit him hard across the back.

"At least you're breathing," she said. "Keiko, why don't you and I find a change of scenery from my brother stuffing his face?" Keiko agreed, and before the girls left, Shizuru grabbed Kuwabara and hissed, "Talk to him!" into his ear.

"I will!" he retorted, shooing her away. "Uh, how have you been?" he asked Kurama.

Kurama stared down into the hole of his beer can. "I've realized that my life is practically worthless," he announced, breaking off the tab and adding it to the new pile he had started.

"… W-What?" Kuwabara said, confused and concerned simultaneously.

"I lack passion for my work, life outside of my job revolves solely around my family, and alone there is a void that threatens to swallow me up." He smirked ruefully. "I might as will kill myself—"

"What?!" Kurama's aversion toward suicide was well known, and this declaration, which Kuwabara hoped was a product of the alcohol and stress, frightened him a little.

"—Because I have no more reason to live!" Kurama continued, ignoring his friend's outburst. "Of course," he added, taking another drink, "that would put my family and friends in a horrible way. And since you all seem to be my only force in life these days, letting you down would defeat my only purpose. Damn it!" He punched the table, and then winced and rubbed his knuckles.

"I, uh … think you might have had enough to drink," Kuwabara told him uneasily.

"But you know," Kurama said, leaning over, closer to the carrot-top, "to perform the feat of taking one's own life is in its own fashion an act of extreme bravery—and I'm too cowardly to do it!" He looked eccentrically pensive. "But if ever I did," he continued, "could you imagine the look on Koenma's and Botan's faces when next we met?" The look on Kuwabara's face made him snort, which coupled with the drink in his mouth and made his nose and throat burn. "Don't you worry," he said. "Because if I killed myself, then Hiei would kill me, and that would be a most terrible death." He laughed a bitter sort of laugh. "Kuwabara, I am so terrified of dying, but my life is already over." He set his now-empty can on the table and crushed it. "I am screwed," he said. "I am royally fucked."

The shriek—a blood-curdling, hellish form of noise—had attracted a small crowd of various demonic delegates, congregating around the entry to Yomi's dungeons. Yusuke, easily spotting the large, orange Enki, weaved his way through the buzzing horde. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Hiei," replied the demon world's current overseer. "He's … I'll just say that my wife pales in comparison at the moment." Yusuke's eyes widened just a little, considering Koko's less than domestic behavior. "Ah, perhaps you should see for yourself," Enki said, stepping aside so that he could pass through. Yusuke did, hesitantly, and stared.

There was blood everywhere. Yomi and Mukuro were standing off to the side, conversing and occasionally looking over at the … mess. The female warlord was running her fleshly fingers through what Yusuke assumed to be the subject of her and Yomi's conversation, as though to calm him.

To his surprise though, Hiei did not appear as though he was in need of any sedation. The Jaganshi wasn't bristling with rage like he normally did after emerging from the dungeon; rather, he had an expression on his face that could almost be described as satisfaction. Calmly, he wiped the blood and demonic pulp from his sword, and walked away.

The Koorime neared him. "Hiei. What…?"

"Just keeping a promise," Hiei muttered as he continued walking. The other delegates quickly made a clearing, not wishing to be caught in his path. Yusuke made to follow him.

"Let him be, Urameshi," Yomi said, having heard Yusuke's uncertain footsteps. "We've all had similar moments of rage."

"Uh, yeah," Yusuke admitted, glancing back apprehensively at the remains of the thing Hiei always referred to as "It."


	15. Chapter XV

A/N: This chapter contains Chapter 30 of the original WIOOP? with some alterations here and there.

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XV  
August 12, 2006  
Edited: November 3, 2007

"Urameshi left," Mukuro said. "He wanted you to leave with him."

Hiei shrugged. "I know my way back well enough."

"I'm leaving," she informed him.

"Do you want a hug or something?" he asked sarcastically.

"I was thinking you should cool off before you go back," she told him, impervious to his acidic tone. She had noticed already that the odd tranquility he had acquired since the incident in the dungeon had begun to disintegrate. "You might disturb Kurama if you return as you are now."

The Koorime threw her a contemptuous look. "I'm fine," he said. "And Kurama will be fine … I just need to wash the stench off these clothes." He wrinkled his nose in disgust; his clothes stunk of _It _still.

* * *

"The weird thing was that he was completely _calm_," Yusuke said. "Every other time he walked out of there, the air around him was practically wavering, you know what I mean?"

Kuwabara nodded, looking thoughtful. "Maybe he finally got to do what he'd been holding back from doing all those other times. I mean, if it were me … Now, when you say 'pieces'—"

"I mean road kill in the middle of the fast lane during rush hour traffic." He blanched, recalling the grotesque sight in Yomi's dungeon.

"… _Sick_," the carrot-top exclaimed, pulling a face.

He shuddered. "It was … Yeah, sick. So, how have things gone here?" Yusuke asked, wishing to steer the conversation away from its so far less than uplifting theme.

"I took Yukina to the movies last week—"

"How did that go?"

"She cried. It was kind of a sad movie."

"Okay, what else?"

"Uh … It was a musical."

"I didn't mean what else happened in the movie," Yusuke said, annoyed.

"Oh. Um—Oh, hey, heads up. Keiko's dad started into his marriage tirade again while you were gone."

The brunette groaned. "Yeah, she said something about that last night." But neither of them had said much else of it, as they had soon grown … distracted…. He grinned. "Hey, we ought to get Hiei and Kurama to go down to the deli and shock him into silence again, huh?"

"You'll have to wait; he's sick."

"Keiko's dad?"

"_No_, Kurama. He has a fever or something." Kuwabara had seen him the day before last. Kurama had looked miserable, but rejected Kuwabara's idea of going to the hospital. "You know, my sister thinks he's depressed."

Yusuke choked. "_Excuse me?_" he said, a bewildered look on his face.

"She says he has symptoms," Kuwabara explained, shrugging. "What worries me is the stuff he was saying the other night when he was drunk—"

"Since when does he drink?" Yusuke demanded. Kuwabara recounted the events at the bar, earning a revolted look from Yusuke. "What the _hell_ is wrong with people!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know. Why does Kurama always attract the psychos?" He shrugged at his own question. "Hey, uh, what he said…."

Yusuke waved it off. "My mom says things when she's drunk; sometimes they're actual things, but most of the time words are just coming out of her mouth."

"Okay … But they sounded like actual things." He looked thoughtful. "You know, I could see why he'd be depressed."

His concern earned a snort. "Okay," Yusuke said, "so maybe he's worn out, and maybe he drank a little—and if he doesn't drink normally, I could see where he'd go a bit overboard—but that doesn't make him _depressed_."

Kuwabara still looked unconvinced. "Urameshi, you work with him. You haven't noticed any change at all?"

Yusuke opened his mouth to retort, but faltered before he could utter the first syllable. "Maybe," he admitted, thinking about it. "But … Hiei should be back today, and he'll be able to take care of him, so long as he doesn't psyche out again."

"Oh shit!" Kuwabara swore.

"Well, he might be short-tempered sometimes, but he _does_ care about Kurama," Yusuke defended.

"No, I mean my test." He dug through his pockets. "It's in fifteen minutes … Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"And I'm the one who's broke," Yusuke muttered, handing a few bills to Kuwabara.

* * *

"100.3," Shiori informed him, setting the thermometer down.

"Well, I suppose that's an improvement," Kurama murmured, though he had hoped it would be lower.

His mother stroked his hair sympathetically. "This is the fourth day you've been sick," she said, looking a little worried.

"Technically, that first day was a hangover," he muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said, ignoring the startled look Shuichi gave him. "I'll be fine," he told Shiori.

She looked unconvinced. "You didn't answer any of my calls yesterday," she argued.

"Because I was asleep all day," he countered.

"What if I stayed with you tonight?"

Kurama was beginning to regret calling into work. Of course Kazuya would mention his sickness to Shiori. "Mother, I managed just fine last night with a temperature of 102.5, and I'll be fine tonight."

Apparently, these were the wrong words to say. Shiori sat down in front of him, examining him closely, looking very concerned. After a few moments, she asked in a low voice, "You and Hiei _are _still, um … using a sheath, right?"

"_What?_" he said, wondering how she connected that with his fever.

Shuichi overheard. "You don't get AIDS by being gay, Mom," he exclaimed.

Shiori blinked, looking a little flustered. "I … I didn't say…"

Kurama bowed his head, debating whether he should be amused or annoyed. "I promise you that you don't have to worry about anything like that," he assured her. "And … It's not entirely harmful to just be direct about a subject, either."

She nodded slowly, looking a little uncomfortable. "I just want to make sure that someone is nearby if you need help," she said. "This—This hasn't been your best year."

"I understand," he said, beginning to feel frustrated, "but—"

"What if _I _stayed here tonight?" Shuichi interrupted. "I could help." He didn't have to say what else was on both boys' minds—he wouldn't fret over the redhead like Shiori—despite her good intentions—probably would.

Kurama quickly warmed to that idea, and after a little reasoning, his mother consented to leave the younger Shuichi in case the elder grew worse.

"It's odd," he mused after she left. "Naturally, she was protective of me as a child, but she seems even more so now that I'm on my own." He smiled as Shuichi began to laugh, and then frowned as the heat and ache in his body suddenly inflamed.

Shuichi noticed. "Hey, are you okay?"

He nodded, wiping the sweat off his brow. "It's just the fever." He gathered his hair over one shoulder, getting it off his neck. "I suppose I'm just…" The redhead paused, trying to think of the proper term. "Burnt out," he concluded. "I've felt burnt out for a while now. I don't know why."

"Do you drink?" his brother asked.

"Sometimes," he admitted. "But I've only been flat-out drunk once." In a human body, he thought to himself. "And that was a few nights ago." He rubbed his face wearily. "I suppose I had abstained for so long, that I forgot how much I could handle. I barely remember that night, I was so drunk."

Shuichi raised his eyebrows. "And I thought you were the Puritan of the family."

Kurama smiled weakly. "… Sometimes things can be deceiving. I was just always more discreet." He eyed the telephone. "I don't have much of an appetite," he said. "You can order anything you want, I'll pay."

Soon Shuichi was munching on pizza, while Kurama rejected a piece offered to him, looking nauseous. "I think I'll go lie down for a while," he told his brother. "But in case I don't get back up, lights out by midnight."

* * *

The snow fell harder, thrown into random directions by the increasing wind. Some blew right into Hiei's face, but he shook it off. This frigid weather had no affect on him; it did nothing to quell the fire blazing inside of him.

He stopped to rest on a rooftop for a moment. Four days since … And still that inner fire raged, sparking from a glowing-red ember that he had carried in his stomach for nearly a year. It had been like pouring gasoline over it when those smug lips had parted, when that arrogant voice said….

Kurama would be a sufficient extinguisher, he told himself.

Their apartment. He slipped into the living room, startled to find Kurama's "brother" asleep on the couch. He quickly shook it off, noticing that light shone from under his and the Fox's bedroom door.

He wasn't prepared to go in there just yet. Instead, he ducked into the bathroom, not even bothering to turn on the light, and stepped into the shower. He stood under the spigot, fully clothed, scrubbing at his body and his clothes until the water went from straight hot to freezing cold, after which he discarded the clothes altogether and left them to soak in a shallow bath. He'd already scrubbed himself, numerous times, but he wanted to make sure any _trace _or a remnant of that stench was obliterated….

Satisfied for now, he approached the bedroom door.

Opening it, he spotted a somnolent-looking Kurama standing at the window, which despite the weather conditions outside was wide open. Immediately he was aware of his lover's flushed appearance, felt the heat coming off of him in waves, but instead of wondering at it, he felt aroused.

Kurama gasped in a gulp of cold winter air as a pair of arms encircled his waist. "What the—?" he panted, gripping the windowpane as someone pressed their weight against him.

"You're hot," Hiei purred, kissing his neck.

The redhead moaned slightly. "H-Hiei?" he murmured, turning around.

"Mm-hm." The Jaganshi grabbed the back of Kurama's head and pulled him down for a kiss, pressing the latter's lips to his own furiously, amazed at how hot the Kitsune felt. "Missed you," he sighed, breaking from he lover's mouth. In reply he received another soft moan, practically intoxicating to him. This, and the one before it, they sounded different to him somehow. He could not recall Kurama sounding quite like this any other time they had been amorous in this way.

Kurama followed docilely when Hiei led him to the bed and laid him down on the sheets, a look on his face, in his eyes, as though he were drugged. Hiei thought nothing of it; he had felt drunk himself these last four days, on rage and relief—and now affection.

He heard Kurama hiss as his focus drifted downward, savoring the Fox's nipples like they were some sort of delectable fruit or candy. "Salty," the Koorime gasped. "You're covered in sweat; you're drenched." Hot with passion, Hiei thought—so was he.

Tugging at each nipple until he no longer tasted salt, he grabbed the waistband of Kurama's boxers and pulled them down, kissing and nuzzling the redhead's soft belly, lapping at his lover's navel, trailing his tongue downward toward Kurama's groin….

"Uh—_Oh…_" Kurama cried while Hiei sought to further awaken the former's drowsy manhood, drawing more pressure to the area with his tongue, feeling it plump in his mouth. He sucked on it, and the swelling increased, along with Kurama's moans. He felt the Kitsune's body grow taut; looking up, he saw Kurama throw his head back, burying it in the pillows, eyes squeezed shut, fingers gripping the sheets.

Kurama panted heavily as a knot formed in his stomach, tightening in sync to the pressure mounting in his hips. "Hi…" he sobbed, too breathless to finish enunciating the Jaganshi's name. "_Ahh!_" he shrieked as the tight feeling dissipated and he was able to exhale.

Hiei swallowed greedily as Kurama's essence gushed into his mouth, savoring the salty-sweet taste. He could hear his lover sighing loudly, could feel the plump thighs on either side of him grow less tense. He licked Kurama clean, and then rose up on his elbows, taking deep breaths, closing his eyes and feeling the heat inside him increase. This wasn't that ember doused with gasoline from the first day, nor was it the raging after burn of the second day, the third day, even that morning. This was the heat of a hot shower pouring over a sore, tired body, or the warming of the body from the inside out after a glass of wine with a good meal. A better heat than mere erotic culmination—_sensuous_. "Kurama," he said hoarsely.

"… What?" the redhead murmured, peering up at him through half-lidded eyes, giving him that drugged-looking stare.

"I want you," he said, voice growing throatier.

Kurama arched his back, moved his head in such a way that his throat seemed delectably vulnerable, and spread his legs in invitation. Hiei quickly accepted, grabbing the Kitsune's ankles and pulling him forward until their crotches touched. Kurama lifted his hips, allowing easier access; the Koorime promptly made his appreciation known, slipping a finger inside the other demon, feeling him tense up again. "Gods, did you get _tighter_?" Hiei exclaimed, growing even harder.

He let out another feverish moan and inhaled deeply as a second finger entered him, scissoring, opening the way for Hiei, who knelt over him, saying something, but Kurama couldn't understand a word of it. He shut his eyes, biting his lips as Hiei sheathed himself. "Unh…"

The Kitsune was as a fire beneath him; Hiei uttered a deep groan, wrapping his arms around Kurama, his grip tighter than it had been all night. Kurama gasped, barely able to breathe, as he ground their bodies together, driving himself inside Kurama in steady, powerful thrusts. His lover moaned loudly, face sporting an interesting magenta blush that spread down his neck to his shoulders and chest. Hiei growled gutturally and slammed him against the headboard, so that while he worked himself in and out he might rest his head on the chest of the other, perhaps even sample another bite of those hard, perky nipples.

Kurama yelped as Hiei did so, and looked down to discover that at the position Hiei had placed them in, he had a perfect view of the performance. They had forgotten to use a condom, he noted absently, though at this point in the relationship it didn't concern him too much.

And yet, Hiei was not entirely bare either—his shaft was coated with some sort of liquid substance. A lubricant, he wondered. But what sort of lubricant was colored red…?

Blood, he realized as Hiei let loose an euphoric bellow. It was his blood. Kurama's eyes rolled back into his head as darkness smothered his consciousness.


	16. Chapter XVI

**A/N: **This chapter contains Chapter 31 of the original WIOOP?, edited.

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XVI  
August 17, 2006  
Edited: November 6, 2007

The earth was damp beneath his legs; the breeze was cool, chilling his sweat-soaked body. His mind was hazy, warped by fever.

A sharp pain—His body slammed up against a rough surface that dug into his back. He could smell the moisture in the air, the richness of the soil, the salt of the sweat, the resin of wood … And the acrid smell of blood.

Blood. Itwas covered in blood. _His _blood.

* * *

Water was pouring down his throat. Parched, he swallowed voraciously until the cup was empty. He groaned; his entire body ached. 

"You're awake," said the cupbearer, peering down at him.

Another groan. "Tomo—?"

"You've slept all day," Hiei interrupted. "How are you feeling?"

Kurama blinked, and as he became aware of the details of the room, he realized he was lying on the bed—which featured a different set of sheets from last night—, his back supported by Hiei's arm. "… Sick," he answered, last night coming back to him.

"Are you okay?" Hiei asked. Kurama had tensed.

"Last night," he replied.

"I'm sorry," both said in unison.

"… I fell asleep," Kurama said, having no idea why Hiei was apologizing.

The Jaganshi coughed. "Actually, you passed out. I … I didn't know you were sick."

"I've been. A few days."

Hiei frowned. "I'm sorry," he said again, kissing the Fox's forehead.

"What time is it?"

"Afternoon. When was the last time you ate?"

He thought about it. "Yesterday morning—or afternoon, I don't remember."

Hiei eased him back onto the mattress and walked down the small hallway to the kitchen. "Your sleep was fitful," he called back to the Fox.

A thought occurred to Kurama. "I had dreams," he replied, recalling the events he had experienced while asleep.

"Dreams." Hiei poured some dry oatmeal in a bowl and placed the water kettle on the stove. He wandered back to Kurama's and his room. "Dreams about what?" he inquired, leaning against the doorframe.

Kurama sat up, his face contemplative. "The details vary, but the main idea is the same. Always the same people—"

"People?" his lover repeated, frowning.

"One, sometimes two."

"Do they have names?" Hiei asked, sounding casual.

He tried to think. "They're opposites," he said, musing to himself more than he was telling Hiei about the two dream figures. "One was dark, theoretical, compassionate. That was Tomonari."

Hiei stared at the redhead. "Tomonari," he repeated. "What about the other one?"

Kurama's face darkened slightly. "As I said, they were opposites. The other one was fair, patronizing, cruel. Tomonari … Tomonari called him the Sad_ist_—." He winced, temples beginning to throb. "I don't even know these people; for all I know, they only exist in my mind…" He shrugged and gave Hiei a piteous look. "I—I don't understand what's wrong with me."

"_Nothing _is wrong with you," Hiei told him adamantly, massaging his scalp. "You … You did nothing wrong…."

The Koorime didn't receive an answer, his touch having calmed Kurama into something resembling a trance. Sighing, he said, "Kurama, do I—?"

The kettle began to wail. Reluctantly, he let go of Kurama and returned to the kitchen. He mixed the hot water into the oatmeal, his movement near mechanical.

"… Do I remind you of _him_?"

* * *

'Left, right, left, right, left…' Yusuke thought, giving his feet silent mandates. It felt too early, a sentiment that they seemed to share with him. He was considering the bus stop when a car suddenly pulled up to the curb beside him. "Would you like a ride?" someone asked. 

"Huh…?" And then he saw who the driver was. "Oh. You're back from the world's longest hangover, I see."

"Only the first day was a hangover," Kurama countered as Yusuke slipped in beside him.

Yusuke snorted. "Whatever. I'm still trying to get over _you_ being drunk to start with."

"I—It's been a while," he defended himself. "I didn't know how much I could handle."

Suddenly Yusuke started cracking up. "I still can't believe Keiko kicked that guy in the nuts. Remind me not to piss her off—." He stopped, looking like he'd just been caught doing something bad. "Um, and—I hope that guy didn't mess you up too bad or anything," he said hastily.

"He didn't mess me up at all," Kurama replied, a little curtly. "It was unpleasant, but it wasn't traumatizing."

Kurama's adamancy surprised Yusuke a little. "Um … Okay; yeah, sorry. Just … if I'd been there and seen, someone might have had to stop me from killing the guy. I mean, it's just a _really _good thing Hiei wasn't there at all or anything."

If Hiei had been there, he probably wouldn't have gone out to begin with, Kurama mused, not that he blamed his lover for the incident.

They were quiet for a few minutes, and then Yusuke spoke again: "I'm getting out."

"Out of what?" inquired the Fox, confused.

"The job. I'm grateful to you and your step-dad," he said hastily, "but I want my shop back."

Kurama smiled a little. "How ambitious."

"_Hey_." Yusuke pointed at him. "To each their own. Your thing is corporate Japan; mine is noodles—well, sometimes it's beating up demons—but for this conversation, it's noodles."

Something in his declaration appeared to disturb Kurama somewhat. "Corporate Japan isn't really my thing," the latter murmured.

"Then … Why don't you quit? I mean, you could do practically anything you wanted, right?"

"Not _anything_," he protested. "And though there have been times that I've felt … dissatisfied, perhaps, with my job…" He shrugged. "My step-father's president."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "What is this, the 'family business'? You didn't tattoo your arms or anything when you joined the company, right? It's not like it's something that you'd basically have to die to get out of."

He laughed. What a glorious image: Yoko Kurama, returned to the Makai … the escape a career at an electronics company. "I suppose that I stay out of some … familial loyalty," he concluded. "For some reason, I associate leaving this job as … some sort of betrayal."

Yusuke gawked at him. "Maybe you take things too seriously."

Kurama shrugged again. "Maybe," he said uncomfortably.

* * *

"Bitter fruit," Akira stated. 

"Pardon?"

"Hm…" The willow man sighed. "I'm going to graduate soon, Shuichi. I'm going to leave Japan—maybe forever." He looked wistful. "I'm moving to the other side of the world, and then I will be the foreigner, not Lucrece. I don't look like the people there; I don't speak the language so well yet; I don't practice the religion…."

Kurama tried to calm Akira's anxieties. "The entire world's a cultural smorgasbord," he said, "Brazil especially not being an exemption. It's not as though you setting foot on their soil will cause a cataclysm. You already told me Lucrece has been successfully teaching you Portuguese, and over time you'll become fluent or close to it, and…" He shrugged. "The many branches of a tree share the same roots. You'll be fine."

Akira nodded absently. "New family," he murmured. He took a drink of water, and then gave Kurama a steady look. "There's a giant statue in the capital city of the deity Christ that Lucrece wants to show me." He grinned. "Of course, we may wait to do that until after the child comes."

The redhead smiled his congratulations. "New family," Kurama repeated. "Have you no old family?"

He frowned. "Ah, that's the bitter fruit, Shuichi. I do have a family here. My father raised me from a small child, and though he was strict, he was not intolerable … when I was younger." He paused a moment, and then continued. "As I told you, I met Lucrece in a college class." His frown increased. "To put it bluntly, he was unable to overcome his neurotic beliefs about 'black devils.' I guess some people can't disentangle themselves from certain superstitions, despite evidence and reason discrediting it." Suddenly he stared at Kurama, as though realizing whom he was talking to. "… I guess you'd know what I mean, huh?"

The Kitsune afforded a half-hearted smile of affirmation. "I'm fortunate, though. Incredibly fortunate. There are many who have suffered far worse."

"That's a noble perspective to take," Akira commended. "Your family accepted your mate, at the very least." He furrowed his brow. "… In Lucrece's religion, the first couple lived in a luxurious garden, a paradise on Earth. But in this garden there was a tree that bore a certain type of fruit, and one day they ate the fruit, and because of this they lost their paradise and had to live in the wilderness." He looked thoughtful. "I don't think that the darker things in the world suddenly came to exist because they tasted the fruit. I think those things were always there, but the couple had been too innocent before to realize it. But when they bit the fruit of knowledge, it hit them that there existed hardship and misfortune, and that one day they would die."

"Bitter fruit," Kurama said, feeling as though someone had explained a similar concept to him before, though he couldn't remember whom or where.

Akira nodded. "The sudden rejection by my father was my bitter fruit. It shattered some of my illusions—but then, I don't think that that is always such a bad thing. Even that first couple wandering through the wilderness must have experienced moments of appreciation when they came across a certain flower, or noticed how the sunlight looks shining through the tree branches in the morning, or heard a songbird's call." He shrugged. "Something's gone, but now there's something new to experience. You know what I mean?"

* * *

Yes, Kurama knew exactly what Akira meant. He knew what Yusuke meant. A break in monotony, a chance for something new—Why did he feel that something had slipped from his grasp? 

Ingrate, he scolded himself. He was so fortunate, and he knew it. He had a well-paying job, a supportive family, and someone he deeply cared about. Why should he feel that something was missing? Why…?

… Why am I such a hypocrite, he wondered, staring at his glass. He chastised himself, remembering the blonde in the bar. Those horrible, cruel blue eyes … Sadistic.

That's what he had called the lecher—Sado. He frowned. That name was familiar to him … from what?

Such a melancholy day; he was probably making it worse by consuming depressants. Keep all things in moderation, he noted—poisons especially. This would be his last glass, today.

Besides, he had other things to concentrate on. He hadn't seen Hiei all day, unless catching a glimpse of the Koorime sleeping on the couch (his temporary place of rest that week, as he claimed that Kurama didn't a competing body in bed while recuperating) that morning as he walked out the door counted. He hadn't spoken to the other since … he somehow doubted that inquiries regarding his recent feverish condition qualified as conversation. Poor Hiei, having come back from work in the Makai (and his tasks there must have been stressful, Kurama wagered, having noticed how Hiei usually seemed aggravated when he returned) only to find another burden. It made the Fox feel guilty thinking about it. He would be sure to make it up to Hiei once the latter came back from—.

He frowned when he realized he didn't even know where Hiei had gone. It irritated him slightly; they had paper and writing utensils with which to leave a note, a telephone and answering machine for taking a message…. It wasn't Hiei's style, he knew, to alert others of his comings and goings—But Kurama thought that given the pair's current situation together, the Jaganshi could make _one_ exception.

Kurama started slightly as the door opened and the subject of his thoughts walked in. "Where have you been?" he asked absent-mindedly. Hiei didn't reply, instead leaning against the kitchen table, staring. At him or simply into space, Kurama couldn't tell. "What?" he asked cautiously, as Hiei's face became lined with a frown.

"Groceries," Hiei said, holding up a bag. "I thought we could have these for dinner," he continued, laying the bag's contents out on the table.

Spinach leaves, romaine lettuce, mushrooms, carrots, et cetera … "Salad sounds plausible," Kurama replied. Though he highly doubted that Hiei had devoted the entirety of his walk to grocery shopping, he felt no need to inquire further. With him normally gone for a sizeable portion of the day, of course Hiei would roam.

"You need more books," the Koorime remarked, as though reading his mind. (_Did _he? Kurama wondered.) "I've read practically everything in that bookcase." An impressive feat, when the aforementioned shelving unit's size was taken into account.

The redhead smiled. "I'm sorry you're bored. I'll make a trip to the bookstore soon." Even as he said it he began compiling a mental list of titles and authors Hiei might take an interest in. "Akira and Lucrece are having a child," he said, getting up and joining Hiei, whose back was to him.

Hiei jumped when Kurama embraced him from behind. "… If you want children, I don't think you'll get them this way," he told Kurama. "Unless you're a hermaphrodite, because _I'm _not."

"Now _that _would be interesting," the Fox laughed. "I don't know, Hiei, a child would keep you busy all day," he teased.

"A child is not something to ward off boredom or restlessness," Hiei shot back. "It's a commitment and a burden that I'm not about to take on."

Kurama nodded thoughtfully. "Well, it's perfectly all right to practice copulation without the intent of conception," he said slyly—.

Hiei pushed him away, using hunger as an excuse, and proceeded to make their dinner while Kurama watched, brows knotted in slight confusion.


	17. Chapter XVII

**A/N: **This chapter contains Chapter 32 of the original WIOOP?

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XVII  
October 28, 2006  
Edited: December 3, 2007

"Shuichi."

Kurama looked up from his desk. "Yes?" he replied, somewhat cautiously. The tone in his step-father's voice, the expression on his face, told the Fox this was no mere drop in.

Kazuya stepped into the room, noticing that Shuichi remained seated, instead of rising to greet him as usual. "You're … behind, in your work," he said, trying not to sound critical.

"I know," the redhead acknowledged.

"More than a little behind."

Kurama nodded his head. "I know. I'm sorry."

The older man examined him. "If you're having any problems…" Kazuya began.

"No, I'm not having any problems at work. I just need to focus more. I'm sorry." He returned to working on the computer, hoping that Kazuya would not question him further, relieved when he didn't and soon left.

Yusuke was hungry when it was time to leave. "I'm not going to contribute to the competitors!" he exclaimed when Kurama suggested a ramen house. "You weren't two-timing our shop before we closed, were you?"

He gave Yusuke a look that clearly told the latter what he thought of that question. "You're serious about re-opening, then?"

Now he was the one to receive the Look. "I told you I was. I've even talked to someone who'll help us… Go there!" he yelled, pointing to a nearby McDonald's. Kurama winced—Yusuke had just shouted in his ear—, but pulled into the parking lot. "Make it quick, Yusuke," he murmured, rubbing the offended body part.

"You want anything?" the brunette asked.

Kurama shook his head—Hiei had startled him the other night during dinner by observing that he was "getting soft."

"You're not really fat or anything," the Koorime had said hastily when Kurama didn't speak immediately. "But you live like a human now, and humans are … more tender than demons."

Considering Hiei's rationale, Kurama knew the latter did not intend to insult him. Hell, his lover had even tried, emphasis on tried, articulating it in a kind manner. But the comment still hurt a little.

The redhead was so deep in thought that he accidentally hit the horn when Yusuke returned, slamming the passenger door as he got in. "You're jumpy," he observed, tearing into his sandwich. "How's Hiei? I haven't seen him since … uh, since he and I got back."

"He's hung around the house a lot," Kurama replied monotonously, careful to conceal the trouble he was feeling. Hiei had grown more silent and sullen since this last trip, and…

The night that he returned, the night that Kurama passed out, was the last night the two had been intimate. Since then, every advance the Fox made was rejected. Hiei told him that he wasn't angry over how that night ended, but still …

His face must have given something away, because suddenly Yusuke asked, "What's wrong?"

The Kitsune shook his head. "Nothing."

* * *

"What do you want for dinner?" Hiei inquired, taking a break from one of the new books Kurama had picked up.

"I'm not very hungry," he replied, taking a drink from his glass. "Besides, it's not as though my 'tender' human body will starve to death."

Hiei, feeling weary this evening, made no attempt to enliven Kurama or defend his self. "Do you want anything to drink?" he asked.

"I already have something, thank you."

"Do you want anything else?"

"I'm fine." Kurama took a large swallow.

"You're _sure _you don't want anything to eat?"

"_Yes_, Hiei." Why was he so persistent? "I told you, I'm not hungry."

Hiei stared at the glass as Kurama set it down. 'At least take a bite of something in between,' he thought darkly, 'so that perhaps you won't get _drunk_.'

* * *

"Hiei."

The Koorime turned around; Shizuru Kuwabara was approaching him. He placed his lettuce head in a bag, waiting for her to speak.

"I heard about what happened," she said.

Hiei knew, from her tone, what she meant. Perhaps he would break Yusuke's jaw, he thought. A vision of the Detective's loose mouth, wired shut, came to mind. "And?" He shrugged, somewhat awkwardly, adding, "It's no big deal."

Shizuru gave him a skeptical look. "Kurama's been sick."

"He's better now," Hiei replied promptly. "And besides, the two are not connected."

"Do you think that?" she asked. Knowing the only answer she would receive would be a glare or a sharp word, she didn't wait for one. "Do you know what happened to him while you were gone?"

"He developed a fever," Hiei answered snidely.

"He got drunk," Shizuru retorted. "And someone put a move on him."

Hiei stared, and then forced a shrug. "Kurama can take care of himself, against some human."

"_Forced _a move on him," she restated. "Pulling him into an alley, when we showed up."

"Kurama doesn't drink."

"He could barely stand; we had to help him back inside. Hiei, he doesn't look good. I think something's wrong with him."

"… He might be stressed out," Hiei admitted. An almost predatory glint appeared in Shizuru's eye. "From _work_," the Koorime snapped. "A Fox isn't meant to be caged up all day, everyday in a little room."

Shizuru looked thoughtful. "Did work make him faint or vomit?"

"I don't follow," he said, by now thoroughly agitated. Mention of Kurama fainting made him all the more defensive.

He earned a confused look from Shizuru. "… You don't know, then."

Hiei narrowed his eyes. "Know what?"

* * *

Kurama had never told him about the incident at the veterinary school. Hiei found it difficult to summon a retort afterwards, settling finally for a growled insistence that Kurama was fine.

And then he had come home, and found the Fox drinking an odd-smelling beverage—the same type as he had last night, the same type that he was drinking tonight.

' "_Hiei, has it occurred to you that it might be harmful to…?' "_

He tried to shake it off. For crying out loud, she was the Oaf's sister; what right had she—had _any_ human—to advise _him_ on this situation?

Then again, there was unfortunately truth to at least part of what that woman said. Kurama didn't look good; something _was _wrong. 'I want you to be happy,' he thought, staring blankly at his lover.

"Have I done something to displease you?" Kurama suddenly asked.

Hiei blinked. "What?"

"You're not interested in me anymore," the Fox said bluntly.

'Wonderful,' he thought. "Don't do this, Kurama." He tensed as his lover grabbed his sleeve. The look in his eyes… "Kurama. Go to bed." As he said it his face flushed a little: the Kitsune was no child…

"Hi—"

"You've had more than I thought," Hiei said firmly, hating to see him this way. "You need to sleep it off."

"I'm sorry I passed out."

Hiei rubbed his forehead. "It has nothing to do with that. I … have a lot of things on my mind right now."

"Then let me help you!"

The Jaganshi bristled a little, but tried to maintain his calm. "Help me," he said, "by going to bed. You aren't well right now." He did his best to ignore the brightness in Kurama's eyes. He gave up. "I'm tired; I'll see you in the morning."

Bed, however, did not guarantee rest. Hiei found himself staring up at the ceiling, a torrent of thoughts rushing through his head. Was it selfish of him to suddenly leave Kurama like this? But even if it was, how could it be more selfish than—?

The bedroom door opened; the mattress groaned a little as Kurama slid into bed beside him. Hiei lay still while Kurama curled up beside him. Still staring at the ceiling, he wrapped an arm around the Fox and stroked his hair—though he removed it when it was received with a flinch. His conversation, if it could be called that, with Shizuru in the grocery store came to mind.

Hiei felt bad for Kurama—but he couldn't prove It right.


	18. Chapter XVIII

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XVIII  
November 29, 2006  
Edited: December 4, 2007

"Why do you love me?" Hiei asked.

Kurama blinked, and looked into the living room. Hiei, who had been watching something on the television, was now watching him somberly. "What?"

"Why do you love me?" the Koorime repeated.

He took a bite of the spaghetti Hiei had made earlier, mulling over the odd question. "I love you … because I do." The Fox polished off a piece of garlic bread. "It isn't something one can will oneself to feel. It just … is." He shrugged. "Does that answer your question?" Hiei didn't answer, and to Kurama's surprise, his somber expression had intensified. "Why do you ask, anyhow?"

Hiei turned his face toward the television again. "Mere curiosity," he muttered.

Perplexed by Hiei's behavior, Kurama studied him for a while. However, after his focus went unacknowledged, and his head began to ache, the redhead gave up, finished his meal, and went to bed.

* * *

"Kurama, you there?" 

Hiei listened to Yusuke's voice on the answering machine as he drank his soup. Yes, Kurama was there, but he was asleep. He'd complained of a migraine the day before yesterday, and the length of the intervals he spent sleeping kept increasing. It bothered Hiei.

"Kurama," Yusuke continued, "I don't know if you're sick or whatever, but I thought I should warn you … There's been some talk going around at work … I'd go down and make an appearance if I were you."

What would happen, Hiei wondered, if Kurama were fired? Though he did contribute, Kurama was ultimately the one who fed and sheltered them. But at the same time, there had to be some line of work in the Human World that Kurama could excel at _and _enjoy.

"I should probably call Yusuke back, shouldn't I?"

Kurama sat next to him on the couch, looking wearily at the phone. His appearance immediately alarmed Hiei: Despite the amount of time he had slept, the redhead looked absolutely exhausted. "How is your head?"

"The pain's still there," he replied quietly.

"Have you taken medicine?" Kurama nodded, though from the look on his face it appeared to have not helped much. "Do you need a doctor?"

"I don't know." Kurama shut his eyes. "I've tried pills and teas and neither have had an affect."

"Perhaps Yukina might have something."

"Perhaps." The Fox opened his eyes, looked at him. "Would you go to her for me?"

The Jaganshi raised an eyebrow, caught off guard. "Why me? Won't she need to examine you?" He wasn't keen on being alone with his sister.

"It's cold out. And I doubt I should drive. Just ask her for the strongest painkiller she has."

His request annoyed Hiei. "Get dressed," he said, a little shortly. "Get your shoes. I'll drive you." Kurama gave him a mildly surprised look. "… I want to remedy the problem," he added. "Instead of just numbing it." He felt a little awkward as he said this.

* * *

"Have you dreamt recently?" 

Kurama opened his eyes. "What do you mean?" He was wrapped in a blanket, resting his head against the window.

"Those dreams you told me about," Hiei elaborated. "Tomonari … and Sa—." He didn't complete the second name.

"No, not recently." Hiei's forehead creased into a frown. "What's wrong?" Kurama asked, but of course the answer would be:

"Nothing," he said hastily. "Can you make the steps?"

"I'm not an invalid," Kurama replied crossly. The headache and Hiei's behavior was getting to him. "I don't need to be coddled."

Hiei narrowed his eyes. "Then why did you need me here?"

"_You _volunteered to drive," the Fox retorted. "I'm sorry you have to interact with your sister." Hiei bristled, but settled for glaring at his lover's back as he climbed the steps.

Yukina was putting out birdseed when she saw the couple. "Kurama, are you okay?" she asked in an alarmed voice.

'Do I look _that _bad?' he wondered. "Actually, that's why I came to see you. I need a painkiller."

"He has a migraine," Hiei offered. "He has for a few days."

The ice maiden noticed that the two weren't looking at one another. "Come inside," she said. Kurama followed, but Hiei planted himself on the porch. "… Have you tried any medication?" Yukina asked the redhead, glancing uncertainly over his shoulder.

"A few pills," Kurama answered. "And some herbs. There was no improvement." He sighed, and forced a smile. "It's been keeping me up. I'll lie in bed and try to sleep, but it's difficult."

She gave him a sympathetic look. "It could be many things—"

"I just want something to make it stop hurting," he said, wincing as it felt like something in his brain had pinched.

Outside, Hiei overheard, and narrowed his eyes.

Soon Yukina had rolled out a futon and gave him an infusion to drink. "Lie down after you've finished that." She gave him a reassuring smile as he downed the beverage, and left him to rest.

* * *

'"It isn't something one can will oneself to feel. It just … is."' 

The day had darkened into evening, and Hiei was by now numb from the plunge in temperature. He heaved a deep sigh, gazing absently at the cloud of steam he exhaled, and then turned his eyes skyward. Hiei cared not for the sky over the city, where Kurama's and his apartment was—the manufactured lights and their obnoxious glow placed a hazy film over it. Here, away from that urban mess, it was clear and lit by millions of stars.

Hiei craved a similar illumination for his mind. It had grown as hazy as the city he had resigned himself to dwell in, muddled, like stumbling down a busy street at night. He wanted nothing more than to release both burdens, abandoning the link binding the two chains and him together…

But even if he did that, he knew, the accumulated despair would not snap away. His own hands had helped to tighten his tethers round himself, so deep that he knew no matter what he did now there would be a mark. 'Even if I tried to let go and pulled away now…'

"Hiei?"

The Koorime screwed up his eyes as the porch was suddenly flooded with light. "What?" he replied, somewhat gruffly, shielding his eyes with one hand.

"Do you want to come inside?" Yukina asked. "It's getting cold."

He shrugged carelessly. "I hadn't noticed. How's Kurama?"

"He's asleep."

"Still?" He wanted Kurama to feel better so they could _leave._

Yukina noted the impatience in his voice. "You could come in and I could make you some dinner—"

"No," Hiei said shortly. He stood up, rubbing his legs in an effort to regain the feeling in them. "If Kurama wakes before I'm back, tell him … that I'll be back."

Her face fell a little. "All right," she said, turning to go back inside. "He's sleeping peacefully, by the way."

Hiei didn't reply, but the news relieved him. He felt sorry for the pain Kurama was in—but if he had the choice between a nightmare and a migraine … He didn't want to hear anymore about the dreams.

He was swift in putting distance between the temple and himself, though he didn't know where he was going. The apartment crossed his mind, but he didn't want to go there anymore than he wanted to stay at the temple. Both were sites of conflicts he did not desire to face.

'… The weight of my deceptions would still ground me,' he concluded bitterly.

* * *

The pain in Kurama's head had dulled considerably by the time he woke up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around the darkened room. "I'm feeling better now," he said when the door opened and Yukina appeared, "thank you." 

"You're welcome," the ice maiden replied quietly. "I'm afraid it's only a temporary treatment, though. If it keeps spiking back up, we should look for the cause in order to get rid of it for good." She bit her lip, and then said, "Hi—Hiei said to … to tell you that he'll be back."

Kurama noted her tone, and narrowed his eyes in minor annoyance. "Did he say where he was going?"

She shook her head. "I think he was in a bad mood. Kurama … are you two having a fight?"

The redhead took a deep breath. "I don't know. Hiei's mood lately … He's been more elusive." Suddenly, thinking of the Jaganshi's recent behavior, he began to feel mad. "But if he's angry with me, it doesn't merit his taking it out on you." She gave him a half-hearted little smile. "Thank you," he said again, getting up. "I believe I'll go home now." He highly doubted Hiei had taken the car; the Koorime could come find him whenever he was done brooding.

"Will you be okay?" Yukina inquired.

A tremor of agitation pulsed through him; he took a deep breath, telling himself that he _had _come to her complaining of impeding pain. "I think so," he told her. Besides, in place of the migraine, he now felt a growing desire to find and throttle Hiei.

* * *

"How badly does your head hurt?" Shiori asked her son over the phone. 

"I was up most of last night," he replied.

"Have you taken anything?"

"Yes, earlier today."

She hesitated a moment. "I know you've been sick … But why haven't you called in to work at all?"

There was a pause on the other end. "… I forgot," he said. "I'm so sorry…"

"It's okay, Shuichi," she said soothingly. "Just focus on getting better. Tell Hiei I say hello." She heard a weary sigh, and then the redhead bade her good night. "He forgot," she told Kazuya. Her husband raised an eyebrow.

"He's been sick, Kazuya."

"The company has medical insurance," he pointed out. "Do you realize how many times he's been out sick?"

She tried to defend her son. "It hasn't even been a full year since—"

"I know," he said. "I understand that, but at the same time I can't be accused of nepotism. Either he goes to see a doctor, or … he goes."

"Who are they talking about?" Icchi asked.

Shiori's and Kazuya's discussion—or was it an argument?—had increased in volume, and was now audible from Shuichi's room.

"My brother," he replied. "He's sick."

This declaration earned a snicker. "Duh—he's a _fag_."

Shuichi narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything. Even if he gathered the guts to do so, words most likely would have no effect on a high school boy.

He was worried about his brother, though. The other Shuichi was staying home sick more often, and longer each time. What would happen if he _were _fired?

"I'm sure the women at the temple are excellent at _holistic _medicine," Kazuya told Shiori. "But he needs an appointment with a _medical doctor_. Have you _seen _him lately?"

She had, and though she hated to admit it, he didn't look good. Shuichi had looked so tired the last time she saw him, like he hadn't slept well in a long time. The change had been more than just physical; all of his vitality seemed drained.

Though he was still a boy, Shuichi wasn't stupid; he had seen it too. Could it be, he wondered, because of what had happened...?

* * *

Twelve-thirty in the morning. Hiei hadn't come home yet. Kurama glowered at the clock. He wanted to know that the Koorime was safe inside before going to bed, yet at the same time he wondered why he bothered. They'd probably end up not even sleeping in the same room again, and as the clock ticked he felt himself growing more tired and aggravated. By now whatever Yukina had given him he had worn off and his migraine was back and fully rejuvenated. His current aggravation probably wasn't helping it. 

One-thirty—no Hiei. Kurama had found that he couldn't sleep. He paced the apartment with a drink in his hand. After it was empty, he tried lying down and watching television, but the light hurt his eyes. He took an aspirin and tried to fall asleep on the couch.

Two-thirty—Hiei still hadn't come home. Kurama had gone through two helpings of ramen and another drink. It'd only now occurred to him that this wouldn't improve his head complaints. He rubbed it, cursing.

Three-thirty—Hiei was nowhere in sight. The Fox shifted on the couch, resisting the urge to graze in the refrigerator, glancing at the clock every five minutes.

Four o'clock—Kurama woke to the sound of cursing and banging on the door. He stumbled to the door and unlocked it, reeling backward to avoid being hit, as it swung open. "… Thought you had a key," he mumbled to Hiei. He had finally gotten to sleep…

The Koorime saw Kurama's unsteady manner and narrowed his eyes. "Not on me," he replied. "Yukina let you drive home?"

"Evidently," Kurama answered groggily. "And you I believe this evening upset her."

"Excuse me?" Hiei said, after getting around the Fox's twisted sentence structure

"Abrupt with her." Kurama sat down and rested his head in one hand. "Don't last out at her because you are mad at me."

"I didn't lash out at her," the Koorime retorted.

"Because you're too scared to be close to her—"

"And what about you, Kurama?" Hiei snarled. "What about you and your mother?" Kurama's eyes grew indignant. "Scratch that—What about you and _me?_"

"… We're lovers," the Fox replied, confused.

"Why did I have to find out from someone else about your panic attack at Kuwabara's school?" he spat. "Or that some pervert felt you up while I was away?" His hands began to shake. "Why did you tell Kuwabara about being unhappy, but never mention it to me?"

The last part threw Kurama off. "I don't know what you mean—"

"Though it's not as though I'm entirely oblivious!" the Jaganshi continued, glaring at him, feeling like something had let off that he couldn't stop now. "With you sleeping so much and stuffing yourself and getting _drunk _right under my nose."

Kurama widened his eyes, resembling a deer caught in the headlights. And then he gave Hiei a loathsome look. "No secrets, Hiei? Then why don't you tell me why you keep avoiding me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hiei muttered, walking away.

He stiffened in anger as Kurama grabbed his wrist. "No," the Fox snapped. "Don't walk away from me. I won't let you dodge me like you do to Yuki—"

Kurama broke off as Hiei whirled around and struck him. He touched the afflicted area with one hand, startled.

"Don't talk about her," Hiei hissed. "Keep out of it. It will be the last time I tell you—_Do not press this subject again. _You have enough of your own issues, more than I realized." He stormed to the door and slammed it behind him.

Head throbbing, Kurama took a deep breath, and uttered a deep, vulpine growl. _"Bastard!" _he hissed, wiping his nose—starting when he discovered that it was bleeding. Had Hiei done that?

His shoulders began to shake, his breath growing uneven. What had _happened_ between them? Hiei hadn't blown up at him like that since…

He widened his eyes, and began screaming at the top of his lungs.

The floor rushed up to meet him as he doubled over and fell. His fingers clutched the sides of his head and clawed into his hair, which began to fluctuate between red and silver. Kurama writhed on the floor, convulsing, shrieking. Green eyes blanched amber and shot wide open with pain and terror—and then rolled back into his head as his cries died in his throat, and his body went limp.

* * *

"A band of demons has been terrorizing the border shared by Yomi's and Mukuro's territories," Koenma had told them. "The situation has worsened; in the latest confrontation, patrolmen on from both provinces were injured." 

Including Hiei. Kurama knocked on the door, and went inside when he heard a replying growl. The Koorime was sitting on his couch, staring out the window, a sour, brooding expression on his face. His leg was propped up on the coffee table, next to food Kurama suspected was intended for lunch, but was untouched. "How are your wounds?" the redhead inquired.

"I don't have any _wounds_," Hiei snapped. "I have a few scrapes that Mukuro wants to play mother hen over. Why are you here?"

"I'm just looking in on an old friend," Kurama said innocently. Hiei glared at him. "Actually," he admitted, "Koenma thought—."

"Do _not _tell me that the Detective and the Clown are here, too." Kurama nodded, smiling apologetically. "I don't need any help."

"May I see your, um, scrapes?" the redhead asked. Hiei gave him a foreboding look. "Please."

"Fine," the Jaganshi muttered. He held his leg out in front of Kurama. "Look, if you must."

Kurama pulled up Hiei's pant leg and unwrapped the bandage. "What happened?" he inquired, examining the gash in his friend's leg.

"I was careless."

"Has it been treated?" the Fox asked, running his fingers through his hair.

"It's _fine_—." Hiei scowled as he felt something soft brush his leg. Kurama was pressing some type of leaves against it.

"Why are they doing this?" Kurama murmured, re-bandaging the wound.

Hiei shrugged. "They don't seem to have a clear initiative. They just destroy things, like locusts—worse than locusts."

"Where is their nest?"

"I don't know."

"Have you tried your Jaga—?"

"I have," Hiei snapped. "Their leader must have some sort of block."

"Who is their leader?"

His question earned a reproachful glare from Hiei. "He has no name that I know," the Koorime rasped, "just a title: 'The Sadist.'"

* * *

Kurama watched miserably while the blood washed off of him, mingled with the water, and disappeared down the drain. His arms had given out on him while he tried to wash up; he slipped and hit his head on the sink. An excruciating pain throbbed inside him, not confined to his head anymore. He wanted to throw up, or go numb, or explode. It hurt so much … 

He doubted he could get up. Should he just fall asleep here? _Could _he sleep, after the hot water ran out?

Again he stared at the diluted blood running down the drain. It was pink, the same light hue as cherry blossoms—.

He doubled over and tried suppressing the tears that nonetheless came, feeling sick to the pit of his stomach. How was he to tell Hiei…? He wanted to die. Curl up and go to sleep forever.

'I'm sorry, Hiei … that you feel bad about the Sadist…'

He shut his eyes and slumped over, flinching only a little when the water turned cold.

* * *

"Hiei!" 

The Koorime ignored his companion. Right now he would love nothing more than to lose Kurama in the forest.

He glanced to one side. Something had moved…

"Hiei, look out!"

Hiei bristled as he was pushed forward. He regained his balance and whirled around, tempted to punch Kurama. Instead, he stared in bewilderment.

Kurama staggered backward, his expression suggesting shock. He doubled over, clutching his abdomen—which appeared to be bleeding—and gave Hiei a pitiful look. He mouthed something, but Hiei didn't understand.

Movement again. "What—?"

The remainder of his question became a sick gasp as he felt something slice into his stomach.

* * *

Kurama stirred, and curled up against the covers. His stomach hurt. 

"Wake up," a voice said, urgently, pleadingly. "Kurama, wake up."

He opened his eyes, and grimaced in pain, though the light did not hurt.

Hiei knelt beside him, his demeanor completely changed from earlier. "Are you okay?" he asked anxiously. "How are you feeling?"

"… Sick," the Fox groaned. He realized that beneath the covers he was nude. "What happened to my clothes?"

"I took them off. Why were you wearing them in the shower?"

"I don't remember," he muttered, rubbing his eyes. Suddenly he shot upright, and felt a bitter-tasting liquid come in his mouth. He clenched his teeth, forcing himself to swallow, hating it. "I…" he gasped. It hurt to talk. Tears sprung in his eyes. "I remember…" He gagged. "My head hurts," he whispered. "May I have an aspirin?"

"You took it all," Hiei replied. "You're not becoming dependent on that too, are you?"

His tone was sarcasm-free; its sincerity hurt Kurama all the more. "I'm not an alcoholic," the Fox practically sobbed. Talking hurt so much right now. "Hiei, I remember—."

Kurama was sheet-white. "What?" Hiei asked nervously.

"_I remember Sado._"

Hiei felt his stomach twist. An ice-cold sensation washed over him, reminiscent of earlier after he had hit Kurama, and after he had found him passed out in the shower. "Sado … _Kurama…_" He reached out to touch the redhead.

"_No_," Kurama hissed, pulling away. "No, please don't touch me." Hiei immediately recoiled, not sure what to do. "I don't feel good," the redhead continued—and then a strangled noise escaped from his throat. "They know," he said, a look of horrified realization on his face, "don't they? They all know."

Hiei hesitated, and nodded reluctantly. "Yes, they do."

The redhead began to tremble. "My mother knows," he said in a hollow tone. "She knows. She knows everything."

"She _loves _you," Hiei emphasized, worried that Kurama was going to snap. "It doesn't matter to her."

He looked crushed. "How long? What else don't I remember?"

His companion sighed. "About two weeks," Hiei said, " and after … it, happened, you were catatonic for almost a month."

Kurama lay down and stared hopelessly at the ceiling. Hiei sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed and stared resignedly at the floor. Both were at a loss of what to say or do.


	19. Chapter XIX

**A/N: **This chapter was previously Chapter 34.

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XIX  
June 1, 2007

A sick feeling came over him as something sliced into his stomach. Someone's sword—no, his eyes darted around, he was alone, save for Kurama over there, who had apparently lost all sense of equilibrium as he stumbled backward, and would have fallen had he not collapsed into a tree—_poison_, Hiei realized. The sick feeling…

"It's … territorial…" Kurama murmured, staring to his left, Hiei's right. Hiei looked: At first all he could see was an odd part in the tall grass—But then it lunged above like a serpent from the sea, something that resembled a woody vine, its body covered in sharp thorns. He narrowed his eyes, beginning to feel disoriented. _A _plant _did this? _"It's venomous, Hiei," the Fox said quietly. His voice was weak. "Very venomous…" Kurama's voice faded, and then died.

He widened his eyes as his companion stopped talking. _How _venomous? _Fatal_? "Kur—?"

"_Hiei_," Kurama interrupted, a desperate tone in his voice.

Kurama's eyes were fixed on something behind him. Hiei turned, sluggishly, and glared at a shadow among the trees. Not that curious plant; this was a demon. It was approaching him, and as it did, it spoke:

"I expected an incursion from you, Jaganshi, but I can see from the glazed appearance in your eyes that you've already happened upon my precautions."

These "glazed" eyes narrowed. The shadow's voice was chilly and prickle-inducing as ice water. As it stepped closer, a demon appeared from the shadow. It was male, blonde, and smirking a superior smirk of cruel lips and ice blue eyes at Hiei that made him writhe in anger. Despite his arrogance, he'd yet to boast his name, but Hiei felt he knew.

The demon looked around Hiei. "You had a companion with you just a moment ago. I saw red hair, but the face was too lovely to be that ghastly Mukuro's. Never mind, I see her path in the grass where she fell."

Her? She? 'Idiot.' Kurama fell? No, he saw now what the blonde demon meant: Kurama's legs had failed him, he now rested slumped at the foot of the tree. He bristled as his antagonist stooped over the wounded Kitsune, apparently examining the cut left by the thorn. "Your companion took most of the poison," he announced to Hiei. "She must really care about you."

'Don't _touch _him!' Hiei thought maliciously. The scene before him was disturbingly reminiscent of a poacher scrutinizing his catch. Kurama's eyes were open, but he looked feverish. 'Can he _move_?' Perhaps not, but the redhead did go rigid as the demon crouching over him slid a hand into his shirt, maybe to better examine the wound.

"_Not _a she—Your comrade's very _delicate_, isn't he?" He said this disdainfully, as though he meant to imply something more than merely Kurama's appearance. "Now I know who he is." His face contorted into a sneer. "A plant-controller should have been able to avoid a wound like this. No wonder his legends fade into obscurity, while the likes of you take his place." Another smirk. "But I'll shadow those soon enough, Jaganshi. I had planned to trap you and hold out for a ransom from that hideous boss of yours, but your friend could prove more … _fun._" Hiei snarled, and his smirk grew. "You don't believe me? Shall I show you?"

Hiei's throat stung. "_Sadist!_" he roared, as the demon who used that term as his title opened Kurama's shirt.

* * *

Hiei tossed a little, groaned. His back ached, his legs were stiff, his ears were ringing …

No, that was the phone. He narrowed his eyes, wanting the instrument to burst into flames. 'Go away.' He didn't want to talk to anyone, and besides that he was sure that whoever was on the other end wanted to solicit not him, but Kurama.

He sat up and looked toward the head of the bed, where Kurama slept. Even in sleep, the Fox looked tense. Worse, he was whimpering. He moved to smooth back Kurama's hair, but stepped back as the latter arched, as though shrinking from his hand, and let out a pitiful cry. 'What have I done to you…?' Hiei thought morosely. He had heard Kurama cry like that one other time.

The phone still rang. His eyebrow twitched. After what had happened, this cacophony seemed to him almost unholy. He left the redhead, stalked to the device. "_What?!_" he snarled into it.

"Geez!" said Yusuke. "What's with _you _this morning?"

"Shouldn't you be working?" he grumbled. It was late morning.

"Uh, yeah, that's something I think _Kurama _needs to hear; I'm seriously afraid that he's about to be fired. I don't get it: At first he was being all anal toward _me _about work, but now it's like _he's _never here—"

"Kurama's going through things _you _couldn't imagine right now," Hiei retorted. "Leave him alone; he won't be to work today, or anytime soon at all, for that matter. Let them fire him," he snapped as Yusuke began to speak. "It's what a part of him wants, anyhow." He hung up.

"Yusuke?"

Hiei jumped: Kurama was up. "He meant to harass you about your job."

"And you chased him off," Kurama observed. He sat down on the couch. His movement was slow, sluggish, like that of someone who's ill. "You fancy yourself my guard dog, do you?" His tone was acrimonious, but not malicious. Hiei didn't answer. Kurama conducted himself very calmly, and his voice—It was as though he was and was not angry simultaneously. 'Eye of the storm,' the Jaganshi thought. This was more uncomfortable than the crying had been. This seemed … dangerous, for some reason.

Kurama continued. "Thank you for helping me last night, but right now I don't want to be in the same room as you."

"… Is that a polite 'Get out'?" Hiei inquired.

"No. I don't want you to leave; even if I did, I'd have no right to drive you from this home, since it's yours, too."

'What part did I provide for?' Kurama was certainly being generous.

"Actually, _I'm _going to leave—For today."

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Should—?"

"Perhaps it's better that you _don't _play my guard dog, Hiei. Last night was … a shock, but I'll be fine today." He was already putting on his shoes. "I'll be home tonight."

His words … venom without venom. Could he really object? "See you…" he murmured listlessly, while Kurama left without giving a proper goodbye. He stared at the door, and then sat down on the couch, not sure what he should do. Kurama's behavior … 'Was this what I was to him?' he wondered.

* * *

Hiei had looked how he felt, Kurama thought: shaken and lost. He knew now the "from"—but what about the "why" and "to" from here?

The Fox narrowed his eyes. He could have told him. Perhaps he could partially justify Hiei's silence in the beginning, but after hearing Kurama himself utter those names? Wasn't that an indication that he was ready to be told?

Instead, it'd come to him in a violent torrent on the living room floor.

And Hiei wasn't the only perpetrator, he reminded himself. Everyone knew. Everyone had decided that he needn't know. The thought of it made him feel sick. He couldn't go to any of them with this now…

How long he wandered the streets, he wasn't sure. Noon came to pass; he began to feel hungry, but reminded himself that he was getting fat. However, as hunger persisted and was joined by thirst, and then a dizzy, fatigued feeling, and he sensed that this wounded feeling of his would not be easily walked off, he did sit down on a park bench to rest and ponder about … breakfast? lunch?

He looked around, and felt like he'd just been punched. This place in the park—'Where the lies began,' he thought cynically. Or at least, _some _of the lies. Perhaps, the ones that would hurt the most.

For some minutes afterward, passersby saw on a bench beneath a sakura tree the figure of a man, young but tired, whose hair hung down like a scarlet curtain, shielding from their eyes the perfect expression of despair.

* * *

"Hiei, look out!"

Stabbing in his abdomen. A scouring look from his friend that quickly dissolved into bewilderment, and then pain. He'd managed to push Hiei out of harm's way, but only momentarily, and the Koorime was hit regardless. "It's … territorial…" he tried explaining. _Too late._

At least he'd taken the larger dose. If his suspicions were correct—if they had happened upon a trap—then at the moment mobility was more important for Hiei than it was for him. As it was, he could feel the venom's effect coursing through him, weighing down his limbs and his senses. "It's venomous, Hiei." _Was that _his _voice? _It sounded so fragile. "Very venomous…"

A shape appeared behind his companion, and Kurama went quiet altogether. This was an ominous presence. "_Hiei_," he groaned. _Run away._

Hiei didn't, and Kurama saw the shape come closer and become a fair demon. He saw its sneer, and Hiei riling as it threw taunts. He saw…

A world held up by tall grass, as he slipped to the ground.

A cold hand shocked him as it slid into his shirt, traced the wound along his belly. Now the demon stood over him, insulting him while sneering at Hiei still. "I had planned to trap you …" the demon was saying to Hiei, "but your friend could prove more … _fun._"

'Sadist,' Kurama thought—merely a mental statement—while Hiei roared the word with every fiber of hate. His shirt was gone, his pants open…

The evening chill was everywhere now. His fevered body tingled from the intermingling hot and cold, internal and external. The bark of the tree, rough cold wetness, pressed into his back as the Sadist spread him vertically. But then he squeezed his eyes shut, because the heat overpowered again, but this heat came _into him_, not out of, ripping, making him cry in pain. Its inflictor laughed, and made some comment to him. Something about his temperature, the wetness collecting on his body. The bark scraped his flesh and made it bleed as he sank beneath the weight bearing down on him. The scraping persisted, the horrendously dry pain grinding into him, tearing, stinging, burning.

There was a word reserved for this very special assault.

He opened his eyes. Pressed into the ground, mud cool on his face. The pain had lessened a little. When he dared to look down, he saw why: There was a liquid on the weapon, glistening on it as it stabbed him over and over, and the liquid was red. It was blood, it was his blood. He had to turn his eyes away. His world was the pain that the Sadist thrust into him, the mud that he was driven further into with each violent push, the sea of tall grass blades—that might have been his salvation, if he'd felt up to it—surrounding them, and beyond this—

Two pools of blood, garnets sparkling out of the darkness at him. _Hiei was watching. _His stomach twisted, he screamed in pain and horror as the attack frenzied and hurt more, gasped as the searing at its rawest peak suddenly dwindled and became ache, and he felt emptier and lighter from it. His limbs scraped against the earth as he folded, the Sadist picking him up around the waist. He could feel blood running between his legs.

Hiei's eyes continued scorching him as he was taken further and further away.

* * *

The earth was damp beneath his legs; the breeze was cool, chilling his sweat-soaked body. He had acquired this near-feverish state earlier after waking from his rest—more appropriately, unrest—in the park. Most likely, his perspiration and hazy mind were credited to his hellish dream.

No, he corrected himself: _Not _a dream, a _recollection._

He felt so abstract and lucid at the same time. The streets teeming with automobiles, the sidewalks with people, these he took no notice of at all, but the minute, seemingly insignificant details—He could smell the moisture in the air, the richness of the soil, the salt of sweat, the resin of wood … He could almost detect the acrid smell of blood.

Kurama shook himself. Where was he? The forests of the Makai, or—.

_Here. _Melancholy heated into anger as he realized where he'd come. This place, which he'd one disdained only from weariness, he now loathed for a much more passionate reason…

"_Finally_, you're here!"

Yusuke must have spotted him through the glass doors. "What the hell's up?" the brunette demanded. "If I thought Keiko could be as vicious on the phone as Hiei, and that she'd do it, I guess I'd be taking unofficial however-long-I-want vacations and showing up in time to go home, too." Yusuke's words were said with a bit of resentment, but they were nothing compared to the scathing look Kurama gave him. "Hey, I'm just telling you what you told me! What's that phrase, 'Do unto others…' "

"I like 'Thou shalt not lie'," Kurama answered sardonically. "You don't think much of that one, though, do you, Yusuke?"

"… What?"

"Hiei told you this morning that I'm 'going through things _you _couldn't imagine right now.'" The Fox narrowed his eyes. "But perhaps you could, Yusuke. Perhaps I could tell you what you never told me." Yusuke gave him a confused look. "But I'll be considerate and give you a few details that I actually know before you, first. Hiei and I have been tense around one another lately; if you observed us at home, you'd hardly think that we're supposed to be lovers. In fact, last night, or this morning if you prefer, we fought. He hit me." He watched as Yusuke's confusion tinted with astonishment and concern. "I trust you're familiar with the term 'knock some sense into,' right? That's almost what he did, but rather, he knocked some _memory_ into me. Tell me, was anyone from your territory injured in the fight against Sado's anarchy?"

Yes, Sado—the more intimate name for the Sadist. Kurama remembered now being told this sometime after being taken from Hiei's company in the forest. And Yusuke was now turning a color that he found almost comical. "But you're not the only one who cares not for the admonition against lying, it seems."

"We … You didn't remember," Yusuke stammered. "We thought it best—"

"Yes, and did you all decide it best individually, or did you hold council after realizing that _I didn't remember?_"

Yusuke flushed bright red—and so did Kurama, as soon as he understood what this signified. "Right after Hiei stepped out, I had a sort of seizure on the floor," he said coldly. "I think I became Yoko Kurama for a moment, or tried to, before passing out. I wonder what _he _would do in lieu of this betrayal."

Indeed, Kurama's eyes possessed a golden, almost crazed glimmer in them right now, which looked vicious, dangerous. Yusuke actually felt afraid. "I'd be pretty pissed if I were in your position, too, Kurama—"

"You know, after he took me, he brought me to some decrepit cave dwelling sort of establishment. He dunked me in ice-water and rinsed all the seeds from my hair. And then he left me in a cold stone room, naked, all night."

Hissing in his ear, someone practically threatening him even as he lay shivering on that hard stone, the exposure making him feel sicker than he already was. But it wasn't Sado. Someone else had been in that chamber. Couldn't be—.

"Shuichi?"

Mild surprise in the voice. Akira had just come out of the building, leaving for the day, and was staring at them. Of course, Kurama reasoned, considering the look on Yusuke's face. 'And if that's anything to go by, surely I look monstrous right now.' They must have been a spectacle.

"It's, um, been a while," he continued, his voice hesitant. "I figured you must have been very ill or something. Are you feeling better?"

Kurama stared at him. "I don't know," he finally said. A thought struck him. Akira was only human, and knew nothing of what had happened. Which meant that finally, Kurama would have the upper hand; Kurama would be in control. "Perhaps I could ask your advice on a matter?" he murmured.

"O-Of course, if you really want…"

"The guidance of others has failed miserably thus far," Kurama said, a bite in his voice that made Yusuke wince a little. "You can do no worse."

Akira raised an eyebrow, but nodded slowly. He turned, stopped at the corner, waiting for the redhead.

"Kurama," Yusuke implored softly, "you can't tell him."

"This story must tangle one's tongue," Kurama replied acidly. "Neither you nor anyone else who knew it could tell it even to its protagonist."

"Maybe we made a mistake—"

"_Maybe?_" he sneered.

"—But this is a bad idea!"

"Thank you, Yusuke," the Fox said coolly, but his eyes blazed. "Thank you for your 'wisdom,' and thank you for making me think I was losing my mind!"

* * *

He shouldn't have let Kurama out, Hiei decided. He should have been pompous and unreasonable and forbidden it. Better to deal with one angry person than with four. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama's parents, all calling repeatedly, all bombarding him with questions. Where was Kurama/Shuichi? In what condition was he? How had this happened?

"You have that third eye, I've seen it, now how can you not know?" Kazuya demanded.

"Am I his keeper now!" Hiei shouted. "Am I omniscient!"

"You live with him! That should mean more than just bedding him!"

"What the _fuck _did you hit him for?" Yusuke had accused.

"Why didn't you tell me about the lecher in the bar!" Hiei had retorted when Kuwabara accosted him with the same question. "Why didn't you tell me he was becoming a drunk!"

The inquisitions drove him to a point of near-hysterics; finally, he unhooked the phone. He could find Kurama if he wanted, true, though he didn't want to be accused of intruding. Still, just to make sure the Fox was unharmed…

* * *

A tingling in his head. He narrowed his eyes; he knew what this meant. 'You have a lot of nerve—'

'I'm not prying just to pry.' Hiei seemed weary. 'They keep calling. I unhooked the phone. I wanted to make sure you're okay—'

'Do you _think _I'm okay?'

'You're not out on the streets. You're not in any danger. So I'll leave you alone.'

As promised, Hiei's presence immediately disappeared.

"How long ago did it happen?" Akira inquired timidly. Shuichi's expression had swiftly changed from crestfallen to agitated.

"About a year," he replied, though he seemed distracted.

"Did they … get the guy?"

"I don't know." He'd have to ask Hiei—whenever they spoke next. "I didn't remember it—only bits and pieces that I didn't understand—I was deterred, I was lied to. My mother told me that I'd been sick." Hallucinating, wrecking his car, waking up in a hospital bed, _she _of all people…

"Hatanaka said that you were ill—I remember, around March last year. I was beginning to think that you had a terminal disease or something," Akira confessed.

Kurama thought of how unperturbed Kazuya had been about all of that late work in the beginning. "Perhaps they thought to spare me," he murmured. "Or themselves." He smiled a sad smile, and said, "I even told Hiei the names I was remembering."

"Tomonari—you said that in your sleep here."

He nodded. "Even then, he pretended not to know."

"Some lover!" Lucrece scoffed. She'd brought in a container of cottage cheese, peanut butter on crackers. "I could see not wanting to trigger something because you didn't remember—but you did!" She offered him some of the food, which he took. He hadn't eaten all day, and his head hurt from it.

"It's hurtful. Him, especially—him and my parents—." He paused, and then laughed a little.

"… Shuichi?"

"A silver lining," he explained. "A small sweet spot in the bitter fruit. The people closest to me betrayed me. I'm no longer indebted to them in any way. I can quit my job at the company before they fire me for never being there."

"Eh … Good?"

"I think so." Still, his forehead creased into a frown, and his eyes took on the look they had possessed in the park again.

* * *

Hiei had not reconciled with the phone, and opted to conduct his business with those it concerned in person. Shizuru had been most helpful, socking her brother in the jaw after harassing Hiei instead of letting him in. He was done there now, and trying to make himself ready for the other stop, though he doubted the use of such preparation.

A blank-looking Shuichi answered the door. "Where's my brother?" he asked slowly.

"Indoors, safe. Where is the—Shiori?"

She materialized behind the boy, face puffy, eyes red-rimmed. "Yes, Hiei?" she said.

He swallowed. "I struck your son," he began.


	20. Chapter XX

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XX  
July 7, 2007 (07/07/07)  
Edited July 9, 2007

Hiei was still awake, having not slept all night, when Kurama came home. He stared, noting the Koorime's jittery carriage. "You should drink that in moderation," he muttered, referring to the coffee cup in Hiei's hand.

Hiei scrutinized him. Kurama had well-pronounced circles beneath his eyes. "Perhaps you should finish it," he replied, holding the cup outward.

Kurama wanted to retort, but felt Hiei was right, and reluctantly took the cup. "I didn't sleep much at Akira's," the redhead admitted. He put the coffee to his lips, and in one fluid motion tilted his head back and swallowed the brown liquid to the last drop.

"What did you say to him?" Hiei asked softly. The last thing Kurama needed currently was some admonition from the Reikai bureaucracy.

"Nothing incriminating." He set the now-empty cup on the table. "Sado kept me up last night," (Hiei winced) "but how did you sleep?"

"I didn't." The smaller demon had passed most of the night talking to people. "But if you want to lie down, I could step out…."

The Kitsune smirked. "Do you think that would work, after I just offed your coffee? Besides, I have no job anymore—I can't work with my stepfather after this—so suddenly I have a lot more time at my disposal. I can sleep whenever now."

Hiei's mind was still on Akira, and the idea he had bounced off of Shizuru the previous night. "Maybe talking to that human was of some benefit," he said, "but talk would be more therapeutic with someone to whom you wouldn't have to omit particulars."

"If you're volunteering yourself," Kurama began hotly.

"Why would you speak of it to someone who would not to you?" Hiei countered in a low voice, his face turning a slight red.

This inflamed Kurama further—it was hardly curative when it came from the culprit's own mouth. "I don't want a shrink, either."

"He's a prisoner," Hiei stated flatly. "You know him; his name is Tomonari."

* * *

Kurama recalled a particularly harsh winter in the Ningenkai when he was younger. Shiori had bundled him in so many layers; a large, bulky coat; clumsy gloves; a huge scarf that she wound round his neck again and again. Even with the clothes, he still felt a chill when he stepped outside.

And now here he was, wet, no clothes, and the room he'd been left in had a draft, most likely caused by a far wall that really wasn't a wall at all. None of these factors did much for his body, sore from yesterday's assault.

Footfalls on the stone; he shuddered as something soft and—was he imagining it?—_warm _fell over him. "No wonder his little gems don't last long," someone said in a slight disdainful tone.

"… Wha…?" Something rancid-tasting was in his mouth, hindering his speech. The disdainful voice wasn't the Sadist's.

"_He _is out," it said, the disdain becoming well-pronounced suddenly, "and I hope he comes back with pneumonia. And please don't be like the last on and try screaming over your gag. You'll only grow hoarse, and it's a nuisance to the ears."

The last one?

"Let me warn you one thing—He lavishes his play-things until the sparkle goes out of them, then he eliminates them. And then he'll take something like a lock of ruby hair for a keepsake, and then pursue a shiny new toy, while you become a feast to the worms.

"The former inhabitants of this area had blue skin, if you can imagine, and he kept a patch of lapis lazuli from the one before you. But he—Was he the elder's grandson? I don't recall—set to crying like a little bitch almost immediately, and Sado tired of him quickly. Perhaps now he'll fancy some alabaster to go with the lapis lazuli." The voice, that of a male, he was sure now, spoke sinisterly, but disapprovingly, without the relish customary to villains Kurama had encountered before. But then, he spoke of Sado's—the Sadist's more personal name, the Fox presumed—actions, and not his own.

Could it be, Kurama wondered, that this whole upset on Yomi's and Mukuro's border was solely because an ardent sadist had decided to glut his desires on its denizens?

"No," his curious new companion said. "It's his expression of choice, but not his cause. He's protesting the ban on harming humans; apparently, they were his favorite before the new law was enacted. What's more, he's raging against the territory lords by enforcing it."

Mind reader, thought the Fox.

"Listen now," he continued, neither confirming now denying. "He gets tired of it when they begin to beg or cry. He ends it soon after, and starts fresh. If you're the conscientious sort, or you aren't but would like to redeem yourself a little before your demise, then you'll try your hardest to hold out your longest, you hear? Perhaps then—"

Footfalls on the stone again, growing louder and louder still, and then they stopped. Another voice—this one he knew, and it made him cringe—said "What the hell is this, Tomonari? I guess I shouldn't be shocked, but on _this _one? I found it on Mukuro's side, and we know _her _reputation. It has a record of its own."

"So now you're operating from a Nemesis angle, Sado?" Tomonari snorted.

Sado laughed. "This …" Kurama uttered a muffled yelp as Sado's foot, presumably, found his ribs. "_This_ is accidental, but I doubt you mind." His tone had a ridiculing aspect to it. "Now leave me, I want to 'lavish' my new 'gem,' as you put it. Have you seen the pair of emeralds this one has?"

"And will you save them in a jar when you're done?" Tomonari asked sarcastically. "But I find fruits and grains more sustaining than minerals, thank you."

"Well, you'll not find any out there," Sado sneered after him. "And what about _you_?" Fingers dug into Kurama's scalp. The blanket left by the mind-reader slipped off and pooled around his feet as the Sadist yanked him up and made him look into a pair of malicious blue eyes. "You look peaky; perhaps you shouldn't have slept _naked_, hm?"

* * *

"He was … some sort of subordinate to Sado," Kurama recalled.

"It's second-in-command," Hiei confirmed.

Kurama's forehead wrinkled. "It…?" And then he widened his eyes. "That prisoner in Alaric, which you were so vicious about." Hiei nodded. "I—I asked you outright about 'It'!"

"Yes." Hiei's tone was subdued. "And I evaded those questions. I was afraid of what you might have done…"

Catatonic for a month, Hiei had said. And then he'd woken up, all of it wiped clean—well, at first glance. "And maybe if I'd been given some forewarning, some guidance," Kurama said reproachfully. "Had I been prepared…"

"I know," Hiei replied. "The thing the ningen say about hindsight…" His voice was laced with remorse. He coughed. "If you want to see Tomonari, it can be arranged whenever you want…."

The Fox stared at him contemplatively. "Not immediately," Kurama concluded. "I need a few days."

"… To talk to your mother?" Hiei suggested.

Kurama gave him a hard look. "To say goodbye to Akira and Lucrece. I didn't give them a good note to leave on."

The angry flush subsided from his face a little, and he amended, "Perhaps I will go to see her, if I have time…." He stood, looked around the room, and declared, "This place is a sty."

"_Thanks_," Hiei muttered. He'd been a little preoccupied the past day or two; the housework had been far from his mind.

"Go out and find something suitable for dinner tonight; I can do all this myself."

The Koorime felt a moment's rebellion, having despised being Koenma's go-for boy, but welcomed the opportunity to appease Kurama. "You'll be okay?"

"No coddling, Hiei," Kurama said quietly. Hiei nodded, more to himself than to his lover, who wasn't looking at him anyhow, and went to the door. "… See you later," he murmured, closing it behind him.

Kurama stooped and began gathering up stray newspaper on the floor. It'd been some time since he'd willfully detached himself from Hiei's company.

* * *

What had he thought about that first day in the stone room?

There was the wretched taste in his mouth, and a sick feeling in his stomach. The one called Tomonari, whom he hadn't even seen, had already gone, and he was alone with Sado, the Sadist, whose eyes had narrowed in a sneer. "Like the gag? I thought having something familiar at hand might comfort you."

He stared back blankly. Okay, there was something sinister about the gag, then—it sure did taste bad, and the smell … Something overwhelming on the surface, but there was something else beneath it that he recognized, something almost spicy-smelling…

Sado laughed as his eyes widened, and then roared almost gleefully as his body began to go through the motions of retching. The spicy smell was Hiei's; and the odor on top of that, the rancid taste in his mouth—_Hiei's blood._

"How noble," Sado said to Kurama patronizingly, "trying to push him out of the way, as futile as it was."

Despite the noxious sensation of bile rising in the back of his throat, Kurama still felt room for triumph. It wasn't so futile at all, he thought spitefully: It was true that Hiei had been hit, but certainly not enough to kill him.

Perhaps a spark of defiance had shone in his eyes, or his lips had curled in an oh so subtle smirk, because suddenly Sado's face contorted in a most ugly manner, and his fingernails pressed into Kurama's head until the Kitsune felt blood and involuntarily voiced his distress. "You'll not be seeing him again, I can assure you that!" the Sadist spat. "He won't find us, even with that Jagan of his. … But perhaps if you please me on some astounding level, I'll bury him next to you when I've finished." The pain in Kurama's head subsided, but his feet failed to catch him as he dropped to the floor. Not wishing to be mistaken for subservient, he immediately looked up, but could not help shrinking back a little when he saw the look on Sado's face.

Blue eyes crinkled in a malicious sneer, Sado said, "I'll be charitable, and let you start auditioning _now_."

* * *

Hiei had factored so hugely into his life for the better part of a _decade_, and it made him a bit ill to suddenly feel so much animosity toward the Koorime. He found himself not alone in their apartment, but with the unpleasant company of an odd, empty feeling weighing down on his chest. It hurt. And so he tried to sort through his feelings even as he sorted through this or that mess in their home.

Did he hate Hiei for what the latter had done? No—he couldn't even push himself so far as to say that he hated _what _Hiei had done. He could certainly see the appeal to taking that approach to such a situation; after all, he concealed things from his family and friends, including Hiei, sometimes—but those were _his _things pertaining to _him _to keep or divulge as _he _saw fit!

He scrutinized the kitchen and living room, deemed them decent, and then moved on to the bedroom. It looked like Hiei hadn't been in here since he'd left the morning before: The bed was not only unmade, its covers were hanging halfway off the mattress; dirty laundry littered the floor, while piles of clean clothes lay toppled on the dresser, a drawer of which jutted halfway out. Kurama began with the floor—but he lurched backward upon discovering a damp and somewhat moldy-smelling shirt and pair of pants by the doorway. He'd been wearing those clothes the night before last, when…

He sat down on the bed. Hiei had been strenuous in his labors to care for him, he thought, knowing that it was the Jaganshi who had hauled his unconscious self from the shower, ridden him of his soaked garments, and put him to bed. How many times beside that one had Hiei filled the role of a sort of nurse to him? While he pondered this, he stared at the wall, and one ornament in particular became piquant: his old poster of the Sphinx.

Guardian, Kurama realized. Guardian of his self and the attached riddle. That was what Hiei was. More that than a nurse to him when he was sick, more that than a worried friend when he was troubled, more that than…

* * *

Hiei had deliberately taken his time, but came home to an insanely tidy home, and perhaps an even more insanely composed Kurama, showered and wearing fresh clothes. "… You cleaned," he managed.

"I did," Kurama replied, "as I said I would. What did you bring?"

Hiei showed him: a small tuna steak and a bag of mixed vegetables. To his astonishment, Kurama broke into a small, lunatic grin at the sight. "What?" he asked cautiously.

"The way I worded myself earlier was vague in retrospect—I was wondering if you'd bring home something you actually _found_."

"… Unless you strongly desire to clean a squirrel…"

Kurama waved one hand. "Unnecessary." He pulled out two pans. "Do you want the front or back burner?"

The Fox's anger had certainly cooled, Hiei noted. But this warm front displayed to him, he suspected, was superficial, even if genuine. He conjured up a mental image of a fish cooking; he scraped away the top layer of flesh, Kurama's apparent semi-normalcy, and revealed a still-raw under-layer. He wasn't sure how to handle it without burning the entire thing.

His thoughts were interrupted when Kurama said, "At week's end, I want to go to see Tomonari."

That was Saturday. Hiei nodded. "Whenever you want to leave."

"Saturday," Kurama reinforced softly. That was plenty of time, he figured, for him to perform a few tasks—some not so savory, but in his eyes necessary—before going to see the flesh-and-blood counterpart of his dream-opposite to Sado.

For example, paying a visit to his mother.


	21. Chapter XXI

**A/N: **Dates can be ironic. I published the last chapter of this story on December 31, 2007 because I found it a fitting date to close the story. But apparently, dates can have a mind of their own, because this past Tuesday—April 1, 2008—I had the displeasure of discovering that during my latter renovations to the story, I had accidentally done away with two of the chapters. (Took me four months to discover this! An extreme form of April Fools', if you ask me.)

None of their copies had survived on my computer, it appears, and so I'm afraid that I've had to re-write them. Using three pieces that I had put as teasers on my LiveJournal, comments in the reviews, and my own memory, I've tried reconstructing them as best I can, though I know there will be some differences. So to those who might be going back through, should you notice things different, that would be why. To those who haven't read before, I assure you that this chapter and the one following it carry the same theme as the two original ones, so you aren't missing out on anything due to my blunder.

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XXI  
Re-written April 6, 2008

Shuichi answered the door to find his brother standing on the porch. "… Hey, he managed," observing the elder Shuichi's severe composition.

"Are either of our parents here?" Kurama inquired almost clinically.

"Mom's in the bedroom," the younger boy replied, stepping back so the redhead could come inside. Looking his brother over again, Shuichi asked "How are you?"

"How do you think?" countered Kurama coolly, though his tone lacked animosity. There was little, if anything, that Shuichi could have done about the situation. Noting the concerned expression on the boy's face, he offered "I'm coping" before adding "If there is anyplace else you could be right now, I suggest you take advantage of it."

Knowing what this entailed, Shuichi nodded, and quickly disappeared. Kurama moved almost numbly toward the selected bedroom, stopping in the doorway.

She was folding laundry, placing them onto designated piles on the bed. He shifted slightly, and the threshold creaked. Hearing this, she turned, froze, stared. Emerald eyes returned the gaze, at first blankly, and then a glint, a transformation into something more resolved. Lips pressed together, but did not open; he did not know how to launch into what he had to say.

So, a customary greeting first: "Hello, Mother."

Mechanical. She gave him a morose look, took a step toward him. He took a step back, still regarding her with hard eyes. She spoke first:

"Hiei came here the other night."

He twitched a little. "I imagine that you two had an interesting discussion," he replied brusquely. "I'm sure that it involved details that I wish someone would have entrusted to me, especially considering how much they do after all pertain to _me_."

"Shuichi…"

"What did you hope to accomplish by keeping me oblivious?" he demanded, voice growing more impassioned.

No immediate answer. Finally: "I saw what it did to you," she murmured, clarifying: "that … that demon."

It wasn't unusual for Shuichi to go off on different interest trips for ambiguous amounts of time. He hadn't phoned at all this time, which was unlike him, but they had attributed it to him being in a location bad for reception. They would hear from him soon.

One day there was a knock on the door. But Shuichi wouldn't have knocked for entry into his own home. No, it was two of his friends, Yusuke Urameshi and Kazuma Kuwabara, with whom he had taken his trip.

Except that Shuichi wasn't with them, and their expressions were solemn.

Shuichi was injured, they explained. They would take her to him…

There was no hospital. Rather, they came to a Shinto temple. The caretaker, a short elderly woman, escorted them into a side-room, where her acolyte was tending to—.

Shiori then remembered all feeling escaping her, except that of unadulterated horror.

"Injured" was a gross understatement that barely began to describe her son's condition. His skin was white, almost translucent, and for a moment she thought he might be dead. But no, he was breathing, and marked with a sick rainbow of bruises, especially around his throat. This highlighted his obvious weight-loss. But most disconcerting were his eyes: They were open, they were looking at her, but she saw no recognition in them.

What was wrong with him?

Catatonic, replied the acolyte, a young woman with odd coloring. He ate and dressed and slept—especially slept—and went through all the other motions, but his mind was elsewhere right now.

She reached out and smoothed her son's hair. Someone had washed it recently. Trying to compose herself, she inquired: Was he in an accident?

No, answered a voice that had been absent up till then. Looking in the corner, she saw a dark man in dark clothes, with a dark expression on his face, turn a pair of garnet eyes on her. Not an accident, he said. Abduction. Assault.

So it began. Shuichi was actually Kurama. Kurama was a Kitsune, a Fox Spirit, a demon. Kurama had gone to the Makai, the Demon World, to help with a rebellion. Kurama had been taken by the enemy. Shuichi, _her son…_

Naturally, she was inclined to object. How idiotic did they take her to be, she had demanded, that they thought for a moment she would swallow that? What had they dragged her son into, that they tried to cover up with _this?_

And then the dark man had looked at her again, only this time she saw that in addition to the garnets there was an amethyst. ("Don't look into it," Yusuke had swiftly cautioned, and she complied.)

No cover up, he'd insisted sternly. Shuichi was Kurama; Kurama was a demon; the demon was her son. She would have to deal with that—right now there were more imperative matters at hand.

Indeed. At first the only signs that Shuichi—or was he Kurama?—had made acknowledging his surroundings were groans and other distressed noises if someone touched him. He had been beaten, she'd been told; he had been…

Eventually he seemed to grow accustomed to physical contact. They even thought he recognized, at least partially, his friends and family. The wounds on his body healed. He was deemed well enough to be relocated to the Hatanaka house, where the atmosphere might prove a better stimulant to his recovery.

"… And then one day, you just woke up, and you were all there again," she said.

She remembered a mixture of joy and wariness when he had greeted her that morning. She braced herself for consoling her son, who would have to be shaken up over what'd been done to him. Only:

"You didn't remember. None of it. You didn't remember a thing. I thought your memory had taken pity on you and wiped it out, so that you wouldn't have to relive it ever again." It didn't excuse everything, she knew.

So did he, as he was quick to point out. "But it didn't wipe it out," he stated. "It only repressed it. And I am reliving it." He betrayed an angry, pained look. "After seeing what it was doing to me—_you_, of all people…"

Quietly Shiori observed his distress. And then she said slowly, cautiously, "I didn't want to tamper it for you. None of us did. We … we weren't sure how you could handle it."

Perhaps it wasn't the right thing to say, as he immediately bristled, and indignantly replied: "They must have told you enough of my origins for you to know that I'm_ hardly_ something delicate, correct?!"

Seldom did he ever raise his voice to her. "They explained many things about you," she confirmed. Carefully, she added, "And it occurred to me … how many things you've lied to me about."

He froze, looking insulted. And then infuriated. "Do _not _think for a moment that the one lie is anything like the other," he hissed, jumping at her suddenly. "My concealments were far more fantastic than yours. A world apart—someone like you would die just from breathing the mere air in that place. Did they tell you of the exploitations made with you as the hold over me? And I would follow to ensure that you remained unharmed—and never did I hesitate to do so, Mother!"

As calmly as she could she let him have his say. "I know, Shuichi," she agreed soothingly. His eyes were a frightening yellow right now. "You had my best interest in mind; you were trying to protect me; I understand." Pausing a moment, hoping that he had absorbed this, she tried: "And because of your experiences, I can only hope that you'll understand where I was coming from."

The golden glare persisted a moment or two longer. And then his eyes closed. He stepped away from her, found the bed, sat down on it. She knew better than to go closer to him just yet, and waited.

After a while: "Trying to protect me," he conceded his voice calmer, if still a tad resentful. He lifted his head a looked at her. His eyes had cooled back to the green that she was used to. "Only try to understand, a part of me still wants to give you over to a Death Tree right now…"

It was an understandable impulse, and she tried to keep that in mind. Taking a step toward him, she said gently, "What happened to you shouldn't have to be experienced by anyone, human or demon."

"And what do you know of demons?" he inquired in a rhetorical tone, standing up. "Clearly, trying to keep one another's best interests in mind haven't done either of us much good. I'm sure you didn't have a pleasant revelation experience either. Perhaps we should adopt a blunter means of communication." He looked down at his hands, put them in his pockets. "Allow me to initiate. I'm going with Hiei to the Makai. There's a prisoner there who was present for much of what happened while I was with Sado. I don't know if speaking with him will do me any good, but I don't see it doing me any harm."

Shiori nodded, and began to ask "When will you—?"

"We're leaving tonight," he interrupted. "I don't know when I'll be back. When I am, I'll come see you. That is all that I can promise right now."

Nodding again, she managed to reply with "Have a safe trip."

"I intend to, this time." His tone was an interesting medley, part ironic, part assurance. He stepped back out into the hall. When she made to escort him to the front door he abruptly said "Goodbye, Mother."

Understanding, she stayed put. "Goodbye, Shuichi," she returned, followed by "I love you."

Light footfalls on the carpet; the front door opening. And then a pause.

"I love you, too."

The door shut.

* * *

Mukuro might have permitted Hiei's participation in the search for Kurama, were it not for the fact that his legs wouldn't hold him when he tried to stand. After her refusal, he in return refused to communicate with anyone, and would have shut himself off in his own quarters had he been able to make it there himself.

Someone approached his bed; he ignored them. "Here." Some cloth parcel muffled his growl as it hit him in the face. "The blood's been washed out of it." It was his cloak, and the thrower Kiren. Hiei gave the latter a Look, and then examined the article in his hands. He narrowed his eyes: It was torn in several places, and a sizeable piece was missing. "Mukuro thought you'd like something to wear to audience."

"Audience?" If she thought that this would make him look diplomatic, she'd obviously not inspected the damage. He would have to sew it, but wasn't about to ask Kiren or anyone else to fetch him a needle and thread. "Audience with who?"

"A demon claiming to be one of the Sadist's." Hiei stiffened. "If you need help—"

"I don't," Hiei said gruffly, "And it would disgust you to do so anyhow. I'll manage on my own."

With some difficulty, he did return to his own quarters, but movement proved so wearisome to his sick frame that he decided to hell with his title's apparel; he wanted only to retrieve his sword before going to audience.

When he arrived, however, he found that however shabby his appearance might be, it didn't matter in contrast to the subordinate. What he presumed to be the latter was kneeling obviously submissively rather than politely at Mukuro's feet. Despite this one's grossly unkempt appearance—his clothes soiled and torn; his hair tangled and dirty; his limbs covered in deep scratches where the mud did not cover them—Hiei's entrance immediately drew the attention of the majority of the spectators. "This one calls himself Tomonari," Mukuro said, turning her face toward him. "He wants to concede."

He scrutinized the Tomonari. "And what of the Sadist?"

"Sado, to my knowledge, does not realize I'm here," murmured Tomonari without looking up. "He would have no intention of a concession, but if I do, he'll be much more vulnerable—even now, actually, you could go and find him without much difficulty."

"Why is that?" Mukuro inquired.

He continued to train his eyes on the floor. "Someone like yourself, Lord Mukuro, is endowed well for the offensive; I, on the other hand, am equipped for my own defense and little more. I'm well-practiced at detecting thoughts, usually more obvious ones; I'm also well-practiced at deflecting them. For example, when one of your own company comes near in search of Sado, the Sadist, I'm easily able to read that objective, and confuse them so that they take another direction. Even your Jaganshi general was unable to pinpoint our location, though he did come close that last time."

Hiei narrowed his eyes, though Tomonari's statements were made without arrogance. "Why do you want to help us?" he demanded.

"To you and yours, Sado is primarily a military opponent; I've seen his work close-up and it's disgusting—."

The mind-reader cut himself off as he found the tip of Hiei's katana at his throat. "Why now?" Hiei said coldly. "You could have abandoned your leader at any time, if you found his actions so detestable—Why now?"

Instead of answering, Tomonari said, "You are Hiei the Jaganshi. Kurama misses you." Hiei bristled. "Maybe my motivations interest you, but I'm sure that he is more imperative right now: Sado is killing him, and if you do not go soon, he will be dead."

* * *

Hiei's brows knotted; he rolled over, cracked open one eye.

"You're awake, finally."

His eye opened wider, joined by the other. Kurama sat several feet away, watching him. "What time…?"

"Human watches don't precisely correlate with Makai time. But my wager would be early to mid-afternoon."

Yes, the sun looked like it was in a verifying position in the sky. He sat up, took another look at his friend. "You seem at ease." He had wondered, given where they were, if the memories would make Kurama anxious at all.

Fixing his eyes on a place above them, the Fox replied, "I felt no threat of our being attacked."

Following his gaze, Hiei saw the cause of this sense of security, and couldn't help but jerk a little. "Those are…"

"They do make excellent tools for protection," Kurama said. "He was right in utilizing them for that at least."

"They" were the same species of woody vine that had attacked the both of them during their encounter with the Sadist. "I see," was all that Hiei could think to say.

The grass rustled a little as Kurama rose. "Shall we?"

It wasn't a long trip; they could have arrived the night prior if they had wanted. As the Mukade loomed closer Hiei stopped. Looking at Kurama, he said, "That rebellion received a lot of attention. We and Yomi both had to crush several smaller copy-cats after." Donning an apologetic expression, he elaborated, "… _Everything _concerning that rebellion received a lot of attention."

Judging from how Kurama's face blanched, he'd interpreted it correctly. "I—I see," said the redhead, giving Hiei a strained smile of acknowledgment.

Maintaining his own apologetic expression, Hiei continued, "This doesn't have to. I'll take us in discreetly."


	22. Chapter XXII

**A/N: **This is the other chapter I mentioned in the previous chapter's notes, that I had to re-write. About half of this was actually intact due to my using it as an LJ teaser.

By the way, this is what I had called the "controversial chapter"—I doubt that everyone will like it. I know that not everyone will like it. But it's essential to everything that the story is.

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XXII  
Re-written: April 7, 2008

Discreet as Hiei's intentions were, he had not synchronized them with the activities of every other demon on the centipede fortress, and their arrival did not go wholly unnoticed. Soon Kurama found himself target of more than a few eyes' scrutiny. None of the stares were malicious; most seemed only curious; all weighed on him nonetheless. He put on the façade of ignorance, and kept his own eyes fixed on Hiei, guardian, escort…

While Kurama feigned inattention to their audience, Hiei fumed at his friend's being made an attraction, and let his displeasure show. Desired effect achieved: the martyr of the ordeal with the Sadist all but faded in comparison to the vicious-looking Jaganshi in front of him. Kurama enjoyed quasi-obscurity for the remainder of the journey to Hiei's quarters.

Observing the apartments' interior, he commented, "It's been a while since I was here."

'And I tore into you,' Hiei thought, recalling his cross behavior when the Fox had come to see him. "Make yourself at home," he told Kurama, taking the latter's things. Considering the face that titled down toward his, he added, "The bed is made, if you want to lie down." His companion looked fatigued. Sleep probably still brought more distress than rest to him, Hiei figured.

Despite his feeling tired, Kurama ignored the invitation. Sitting down on the couch, he asked, "Where would I go to get something to eat?"

Hiei was hungry too. "I'll bring us something. I need to locate Tomonari anyhow."

Mention of the mind-reader made Kurama think of the upcoming inquisition that he would instigate. His stomach churned a little from apprehension. Absently he stared at his friend.

Noticing, Hiei at first didn't say anything, but it persisted and the look on Kurama's face grew more and more intense. "What?" he finally asked.

Blinking, the redhead shifted in his seat, redirecting his eyes to the floor, and then almost hesitantly back on to the other demon. "Hiei…" he murmured uncertainly.

Concerned with this sudden, peculiar change in demeanor, Hiei peered intently into the Kitsune's face. "Yes?"

Kurama faltered. The Jaganshi's readiness discouraged him. "I … would prefer something light."

Hiei nodded. "All right." Giving Kurama some space, he said, "It won't take long." The other demon nodded without looking at him. He closed the doors behind him.

On the other side Kurama continued staring pensively where Hiei had previously been.

* * *

Kurama wasn't sure when the last time he had water was. Two days? Three? His head was pounding with dehydration; he'd even settle for a brackish mouthful, if only to get the taste of blood out of his mouth.

Another thrust, and he shrieked as his weight suddenly shifted to his hands; he coughed, stomach doing somersaults. The Sadist stood a few feet away, stick in hand, while the phallus outfitted on the other end tore Kurama. "You should relax your breathing," Sado said coolly, remarking on the Fox's quick, shallow pants, "or you might hyperventilate."

Bile was dripping through Kurama's clenched teeth. Blood pounded in his ears, and dark spots began to rapidly appear before his eyes. "Suh … Stuh … AH!"

His right side hit the rock floor. He began to cough again, blood spraying out and staining the ground in front of him. A hoarse groan escaped him as Sado pulled the stick out, and then squeezed his eyes shut in disgust when the former stood in front of him and began to lap the blood off the instrument. "Don't shut your eyes!" the Sadist jeered, kicking him in the stomach—and again when more blood came out of his mouth onto the offending foot. "I wonder how much blood you've lost?" A sick gurgle came out as Kurama's involuntary reply; the redhead stared up tiredly, the coppery taste in his mouth growing more pungent with each pant. "Perhaps you should take more in…"

Kurama's lips curled back in a repulsed growl; Sado didn't mean a transfusion. Something in him went, and he snapped at the stick as Sado shoved it into his face.

"Ho!" his antagonist exclaimed, a triumphant snarl on his lips. "So I've worn down the human and found the demon inside. You remind me of old times, creature; just for that, I'll let you rest a while." Kurama winced as the stick hit the ground and echoed; he glowered at Sado's feet as they carried their cruel master out the room.

* * *

Perhaps he'd been more tired than he had thought, Kurama reflected, blinking, shifting. He rubbed his eyes, got up and drank several mouthfuls of water from the sink. And then he lay back down, massaging his forehead and looking around the room.

Hiei hadn't returned yet. Kurama didn't particularly mind; he could function a half-hour out of the company of his "guardian."

Not that he was completely cynical—the Koorime had taken care for him through all of this, far more than anyone else. But then, Hiei was most involved in this matter, next to him and the inhabitants of Sado's crag; and Sado was dead, and Tomonari had been absent save in a year's fragmented dreams. Looking at it this way, it was only natural that Hiei would try to take care of him…

A door opened, then closed. "Breakfast," Hiei announced. Kurama heard the sound of bowls on a table, and sat up to examine the food Hiei had brought: rice and vegetables, which surprised him a little, considering how Mukuro was once a man-eater (Yomi had given up this vice also, but was still to Kurama's knowledge an ardent carnivore.) "And what of Tomonari?" he asked, pulling a bowl towards himself.

"Terrace," the Jaganshi answered. He raised an eyebrow. Even Hiei, he'd been told, had spent time in the dungeons of the fortress when he first visited—and that had been by Mukuro's invitation. "He's a willing prisoner," Hiei rationalized, noticing his expression. "It's highly unlikely that he'd try to escape. Besides, he'd have to be suicidal to do something like jump from the Keep, especially if it's moving."

He stared at Hiei while the latter broke fast, but his mind was too preoccupied with other matters to give much thought to his own food. "I was moved to the temple," he said thoughtfully, "after I was recovered."

Hiei chewed his food until it had lost any appetizing texture; this was not his ideal breakfast conversation. "And then you were moved to your family's house, after you were well enough, physically. It was thought that you'd do better in the vigil of people you were close to."

"And is that why I was moved from Makai to the temple," Kurama said slowly, "even though I was not yet well enough to move from there to my own home? What brought the idea to mind?" Hiei shrugged. Kurama jabbed at his food, somewhat violently, frustrated with his uncooperative friend. "The day that I woke up," he tried, "and you found me in the park underneath the Sakura—were you keeping vigil as well?"

Hiei pressed his lips together. He didn't see how this was so imperative to Kurama's experiences. It was the first day I saw you out and about," he said. "I wasn't sure how long you'd been, um, up, but I suspected it hadn't been too long after seeing how clueless you seemed about time elapsed." He pushed around the remnant of his meal, decided that he really wasn't so hungry, and pushed the bowl aside. "I did keep watch," he continued. "I followed a route by your home almost daily, in case anything changed. But I was still surprised to see you waltzing down the street one day all of a sudden." Kurama smiled a little. "So do you want to go to the terrace…?"

"Which one? No," he said before Hiei could answer. "I don't want to do that right now."

So Kurama was going to warm up on him, Hiei thought uneasily. "I guess he's not going anywhere," he conceded reluctantly, "unless he grows drastically suicidal suddenly and decides to jump after all."

"He didn't jump off Sado's crag. And I wouldn't equate Mukuro or Kiren or yourself to the Sadist."

Hiei could feel his eye twitch. "Thanks," he grumbled.

"… So," the Kitsune resumed, "who found me?"

"I did. That is, I saw you first; I wasn't alone."

No doubt Yusuke and Kuwabara had been there, and at least some of Mukuro's, and maybe Yomi's, men. "And how did you find me?"

"Tomonari used It to ensure that he would be received by a merciful victor, but he used you as well, when he spoke to me."

Hiei sounded a little resentful. Kurama smirked. "Did you feel violated in some respect? He's a mind-reader." His friend nodded, frowning. "So you were worried about me while I was M.I.A., then?"

The Koorime scowled. "That's so ridiculous a question that I'm not going to answer it." He rose, taking his bowl with him. Kurama heard water running. Hiei returned with a cup of water, perhaps to stare into it more than to drink from it. "You were a sight when we found you," he muttered. "You were with the surgeons for a while after. I stayed with you a lot."

"Thank you?" Kurama replied.

Hiei tightened his hold on the cup. "You were with me before It … You tried to warn me, but I didn't turn around…."

Kurama stared at Hiei somberly, and did not say anything, as he could not surmise any words of comfort to counter the Koorime's lament.

Silence fell between them. Hiei scrutinized the contents of his cup as though they contained some message to decipher. He stole a glance at Kurama, who appeared to be doing the same to his hands.

Finally Kurama spoke:

"Was it out of pity?"

Garnet eyes blinked. "Huh?" His friend's voice was so low, he thought he'd misheard…

Lifting his head, Kurama focused his eyes on Hiei's. "When you kissed me," he said calmly, "when you moved in with me, made love to me, took care of me—was it out of pity?"

Hiei gawked, resembling someone caught committing an offense. The calm remained on Kurama's face, though now it appeared fixed.

Rising, Kurama murmured, "Well, that's the last question I had that you could answer. I … I believe I'll seek out Tomonari now." He stood, moved to the door.

Finally Hiei spoke:

"Nuh …" He gave Kurama a pained look. "N-Not … Not entirely…"

Emerald eyes closed. "I see," the redhead replied. The calm wavered on his face for a moment. He quickly regained control. "Well then," he said, "thank you, Hiei. I'll … be back in a while."

Hiei couldn't nod, only watch helplessly while Kurama left.

* * *

Hiei had looked like someone caught in the headlights. So why did Kurama feel like the one the car hit?

Unable to contain himself any longer, he gave, bending over a little, clutching both arms round himself in an effort to stop the shaking. He leaned against the wall, vision blurring, stomach and chest constricting. This hurt. This hurt so much…

He took a breath, and the first sob escaped. Clenching his teeth, he wiped his eyes and looked around. He had to get out of here, this was too open. If he was going to break down, he needed someplace secluded, someplace where he wouldn't risk mockery by some uncouth philistine—.

'_There's a garden_,_' _said a voice that he didn't hear, _'out of sight. I'll help you locate it.'_

He knew the voice.


	23. Chapter XXIII

Congratulations—may I present the first chapter of any of my writing to be churned out in a college dorm room! It's really not glamorous—the dorm, that is, hopefully not the chapter (prison walls, musty smell, can't burn incense even though I've already broken that rule—wasn't caught!). But I digress.

Ahem—there is a scene in here that might make some people squick. I don't know if any such people are currently reading this. If so, sorry, here's the warning.

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XXIII  
September 14, 2007

Had it been on any other occasion, Kurama might have marveled at the sight he found. As told, it was a garden, though not a decadent one—anywhere else, he'd have judged it an editing of the world outside, but considering Alaric's rugged landscape, "revision" was probably a better choice. He recognized a number of Makai species that were pleasing to the eye and nose, and benign to the well being of an individual (rare, he wagered, or otherwise not native to the province). He couldn't imagine most of the locals lounging in such a place.

"Lord Mukuro has more of a 'Lady' in her than she's credited for, I think."

The same voice. Kurama turned toward it.

The Tomonari standing in the garden with him now was near identical to the one he remembered in Sado's crag. A tall demon, though not as tall as Yoko Kurama; he and Kuwabara might have matched in height. His hair and complexion still fought each other, the sable of the former enhancing the sallow coloring of the latter. The blue-tinged bags remained beneath his eyes: two seal-colored almonds of melancholy, currently fixed on him. "You look better than the last time I saw you."

"I should hope so," the redhead replied. "And you … your clothing's better." Before, it'd been a mass of colorless tatters; now, it was a cream-colored attire similar to the fashions Kurama often favored, and made Tomonari appear less derelict.

"And you're wearing something other than blood and a gag." He smiled a little, ruefully. "That's a good sign. Would you care to sit?" The pair settled across from each other in the grass. "When did you begin to remember?"

Kurama had no strong desire to recount all of this. "Didn't Hiei inform you?"

"No. The Jaganshi's nervous when we're close, and so he stays away from me." He shrugged. "I don't understand why, really, since his eye puts us on more or less even ground. Lord Mukuro told me what she knew, or chose to divulge."

His brows furrowed ever so slightly. "It's not all there," he finally replied, "but I have a picture, and it's not pretty."

"Nor should it be," Tomonari replied, "if it's a picture of _that_." As he spoke, the corners of his mouth twisted in revulsion. "Don't strain yourself trying to recount it to me, by the way. I ask to prompt your thought, not because I don't know. You can ask me questions too, if you want."

Kurama didn't hesitate. "How did you factor into…?"

"Sado's sick crusade?" He nodded. "Well, I didn't volunteer myself for it. Lord Mukuro was astonished that I bartered Sado only for my life, and didn't protest imprisonment; this is a sanctuary compared to imprisonment by Sado."

The Fox frowned. "Hiei said that you bartered me as well."

"It's not as callous as it sounds. The Jaganshi wanted to question my motives then and there, while I was offering my … my 'Lord,' of sorts," Tomonari looked as though he'd bitten into something inedible, "to his."

"Hiei had a right to be suspicious."

"Yes, but considering the way you were when I left, it was crucial that they accept my offer then and not later. I only reminded your friend of that."

He nodded, satisfied. "You were imprisoned by the Sadist."

"I grew up in an agrarian community. I was content. And then Sado came with a gaggle of low-level beasts barely equipped with the capability of determining what they set afire or whom they pursued. Sado knew that they were essentially dumb animals; he always kept his precious toys away from them, lest they lumber in and take a snack." A cold smile took hold of his lips. "Your comrades slaughtered them all, by the way—like one would dumb animals.

"I, on the other hand, he allowed—No, no, that wording suggests that there was something enjoyable about it—he thrust the unwanted privilege upon me of entering the playroom and viewing the games for his own amusement. Maybe he'd intended to do to me what he did to you, but it wouldn't have given him the relish he likes: I'd already know what he'd want to do before he went through with it, and it'd deflate the fun." Tomonari shrugged. "Mine's a modest ability, but it's saved my life, even if it's brought me some grief. In return for my life, I took on the job of diverting pursuers away from Sado."

"_Protecting _him?" Kurama asked skeptically.

"And you might be dead if I'd refused," the mind reader retorted. "Maybe it'd have been harder without me, but Sado might have achieved a similar reality nonetheless, with no sympathetic back-figure to intervene."

"If you're so righteousness, why didn't you intervene for all the other victims and save them as well?"

"And _die_?" Tomonari countered. "I was helpful when I could be without being fatally suspicious. It wasn't just the thoughts of pursuers that I diverted; and for the ones taken, I would try to numb the thoughts of the pain, try in a way to alleviate them…"

"How noble. Did you do that numbing bit on me?"

"No, though I wish I had. Numbing I'd always reserved for the dying. I didn't want you to die." He frowned. "Unfortunately, when the time came that I _did _want to relieve you, I was unhinged myself, and couldn't help." Kurama raised an eyebrow. "You drove Sado a little crazy—that is, crazier than usual—because, though he could hurt you physically and you would scream, it wasn't so easy to jar you mentally. But people can only brace themselves for so long before they weaken from it."

Kurama scrutinized him warily. "What did the Sadist do to me, Tomonari?"

The mind reader returned earlier's skeptical look. "Haven't you suffered enough revelations today?"

He widened his eyes, sensing the inquiry's reference. "I've had enough of people withholding my own information from me!" he replied, flustered.

"… It must be insulting," Tomonari admitted.

"Then don't do it. I spited Sado; I held out; I lengthened our 'game,' and he didn't take others, like you implored. If that moved you to save me—"

"_That _was not why I did it. And he did take others." Kurama betrayed a surprised look. "Most individuals have a violent streak, when provoked. But Sado is—Sado wasa violent streak embodied. I don't know why; he was already a predator when we crossed paths, and his mind was too disgusting to examine." He frowned pensively. "He might have killed me if I had, anyway. But I'm straying: Sado's life, as far as I could tell, was about his game, and he sometimes began a new one before finishing an old one. His last game was centered on two of the stray blue people." He stared at Kurama hesitantly. "Do you remember an infant crying? It was a woman and her child."

* * *

Kurama curled up, trying in vain to ward off a chill. Sado's fires had been extinguished by a caravan of storm clouds. Though he could breathe now, a cold front had come with the new weather, making his situation in the already-drafty stone room more uncomfortable than before. What had happened to the blanket that Tomonari had given him?

"What indeed. That was my only blanket."

The mind reader was soaked, more so than Kurama. He had to have been outside. Wringing out his hair and clothes, he came over and crouched beside the Fox. "You still have life in you," he commented. "Most don't at this point. Most don't _live _to this point. I wish I had some food for you, or another blanket."

He cocked his head to get a better look at Tomonari. The latter wore his usual pensive look, but his eyes were softer today. Kurama took a breath and closed his eyes. Still had life, did he? For how long?

"Please don't pose that question. I've grown fond of you; I think I might love you. Who knows? But when you die I'll be alone with Sado again, and that's an unpleasant thought." Tomonari walked away from him, towards the far wall, and hopped up onto the rubble. Staring outside, he suddenly spoke: "I wonder, should I be like one of those characters out of those old stories? Staring out at Nature and all Her wondrous fury, and all of a sudden it hits me: I know the meaning of life?"

Good luck. He'd spent his entire life with plants, and though they'd preserved his life many a time, they'd never disclosed its meaning to him. And he didn't even have his plants now, and who knew if something might happen before the life went out of him? Sorry, Mother; sorry, Hiei. He hoped it didn't destroy anybody if all they found was a body, or nothing at all….

"Does such talk frighten you? Or do you even hear me?"

Yes and no, the redhead thought.

Footfalls. Kurama opened his eyes. Tomonari still sat on the wall, but was staring across the room, away from him, towards the entrance. He looked displeased. Kurama shut his eyes again wearily, but started when he heard shrill cries of protest precede Sado's voice.

Someone hit the floor beside him. He stared as a turquoise-skinned woman picked herself off the ground, clutching her coats and spitting something at the Sadist in an angry vernacular. "Tomonari," the flax-haired demon said in a bored tone, "you missed one."

Tomonari gazed briefly at the woman in her many layers. "Oh."

"It's getting a little bony," Sado commented, staring down at Kurama. "I don't recall ever having one that lasted long enough that it needed feeding. That's definitely not a human trait."

"Demons need food as well," the mind reader muttered.

"True, Tomonari, true—I haven't forgotten the cause of the last Makai conflict, nor have I forgotten its outcome." He gave Kurama a loathsome look. "How Enki gave that abominable decree, and how the three Makai kings emasculated themselves and their citizens. _You _were close to that betrayal, weren't you? You've worked with Yomi and the watered-down Ningenkai refuse both, along with Mukuro's pretty little general—now there's a match made in a laboratory freak show—."

He paused: during his semi-eruption at Kurama, the Sadist had apparently forgotten his newest addition, which had made an awkward crouched scuttle for the far wall. Now he lunged over, grabbed her by the necks of her drapes, scowled at Tomonari (who responded, or did not, with a perfect deadpan), and dragged her back to the center, tearing at her clothes on his way. Kurama narrowed his eyes; Kuronue hadn't cared much for his treatment of prostitutes on the sparse occasions he employed them, but at least he'd never yanked one around like she was a bag of rice or anything.

She protested far more blatantly than he, and she and Sado fell opposite from each other after he tore one of her shawls free. This seemed to upset her more, as she scrambled forward to grab it, and yelled her loudest yet when he reached it first.

Sado kicked her in the abdomen and dug a foot into her side after she went down, all the while scrutinizing the sought material in his hold. (Despite himself, Kurama was also absently appraising it, wondering if its components were of some higher value.) And then Sado smirked. "While we're on the subject of food … Tomonari, and you there on the floor, surely you both know that the main reason youkai dine on ningen is because of the latter's tender texture, right? But youkai in the deeper levels of the Makai have this craving also, and no ningen to fulfill it. There are rumors, though, of methods of substitution…."

Kurama stiffened—he had been in the deeper levels before, knew that sometimes those rumors were fact, and understood now why the woman (currently shrieking and clawing at Sado's foot and leg) was so adamant about her lost parcel.

He'd no more than realized this than Tomonari was suddenly on his feet and moving to joint hem in the center of the room. "Sado—"

"Hush, Tomonari," the Sadist interrupted mildly. He tossed the cloth aside and held up its contents, an infant with appropriately baby blue coloring and a head of long black down that resembled animal fur more than hair. "My, but it's been awhile since I've held one of these—and _you_, Tomonari?" The mind reader gave him an incensed look, eyeing the child anxiously. "You there on the floor, how long since you've eaten last?" Kurama's face and stomach clenched; Sado laughed.

"Since when do you play your games concurrently?" Tomonari demanded, his voice growing an octave higher as the Sadist tossed the infant in the air and caught it, and then repeated the action.

"I'm not foreign to a bargain, and this is the stone with which I can kill two birds. Or is it three?" Sado smirked at the expression on the mind reader's face. "Would you make it worth my while to put this thing down? What about you there on the floor? I'd ask the woman, but that'd be too obvious—Wait! Woman, hold one of those numerous wraps of yours over its face, or I feed it to my starving thing there on the floor?"

"Stop!"

Kurama's throat stung from disuse. Nonetheless, his hoarse protest earned him Sado's attention. The latter cocked an eyebrow. "Look here, Tomonari. I've finally made it weep." No reply. "I find it hard to imagine the infamous Yoko Kurama making such secretions, but I imagine we've gone too far for you to show me that, huh?"

The child was naturally sobbing now. Sado held it in the crook of one arm, smirking down at him. "Those tears give me an idea, if this wet stuff keeps up." He turned around, ignoring the mother, and made to leave. And then he paused, visibly agitated by the baby's 'ailing, and glanced at the wall beside the entryway.

Kurama screamed even before the blue-colored blur collided with the wall. His limbs shook, and he fell back to the floor, choking on his own unsteady breath. There was a mixture of gross colors on the wall; his vision clouded, his head hit the floor.

It didn't stay long. Someone grabbed him by the hair, nails digging into his scalp; he was trying to breathe in and cry out simultaneously as Sado thrust him forward and tried to force him to look at the mess on the wall. His protests were primal—shrieking and clawing at the fingers clutching his head—while his body shook with the desire to throw up.

Tomonari intervened, reminded the Sadist of the now-hysterical mother needing dealt with, tried to comfort Kurama. The mind reader spoke soothingly, though his limbs quaked.

The redhead glanced toward the wall out of the corner of one eye. For a moment he thought he saw another child beside the dashed one, albeit older and of a different coloring, beneath her blood. He blinked, and saw only the one dead child again, and quickly shut his eyes. Tomonari was letting him down, leaving him. He didn't want to be left, but maybe he didn't have a mind to read anymore. Sado said that he'd given him an idea earlier; an idea for what? An execution?

He wasn't sure how long he remained alone.

An insect crawled across the stone floor, a large, winged, hideous breed native to the Makai. Mere inches from his face, it should have made him squirm, but he was too tired to care. He was so tired, his body and mind completely exhausted. It was even an effort to maintain the bond between these two, and he was unsure if he could do it anymore, or if he even wanted to.

He wanted to not be tired anymore, or cold, or hungry, or in pain. For this to be no longer a part of him, or he of it.

No longer did he care about the origin of this or that bruise, where that blood—long since dried, or wet and sticky and fresh—had come from, what caused that dull ache or newly afflicted pain. That insect, and others of its kind that would soon come to feed on wounds and lay eggs in dead, ruined flesh; maggots and worms and other decomposers eating out lifeless eyes and burrowing holes and aiding in decay.

Sado returned, carrying a piece of rope, dragging a large stone behind him.

None of it mattered; none of it worried him; none of this was real; he would not acknowledge this; it would cease to exist.

* * *

Kurama stared straight ahead, unaware for a minute or so that twin rivers were flowing from his eyes, or that he was leaning against Tomonari. He blinked rapidly a few times, blotted his eyes on a sleeve, and sat back and refocused them on his companion. "And the girl?"

"What do you mean?" Kurama elaborated. "Ah." Tomonari's voice was quieter than his. "That was a hallucination. That was my fault, I put that in your head on accident. She's mine, you see, and when Sado did _that_, the image came to mind…" He was playing with Kurama's hair, then seemed to realize what he was doing and stopped. "One swift movement versus hours of cat and mouse, and yet I think that it was Sado's personal magnum opus."

The Fox didn't comment. He was trying to recall if he in all his long life had done anything like that, but memory lagged and various acts blurred together, so he could not be sure. The Sadist probably had not remembered all the people he'd wronged, either. "Did Sado kill her as well?"

"The mother? She was ruined; he'd ended his game with her before he'd begun." Kurama had meant the other her. "Michiko? He never saw her. She's alive, I just don't know where, but that was best. That's why we met, not that either of us had much say in the matter, but…." He shrugged. "If I was with Sado, then I knew that she wasn't. You can sympathize, correct?"

He could. "And the game with me?"

"Done, I assume. He was in the process of disposing of you when he was caught."

Disposable. He was disposable.

"Aren't we all?"

Kurama shrugged. It'd have been a lie to claim he'd never treated someone as such. "Who caught him?"

"The Jaganshi. I thought he was going to kill Sado then and there, but he was more focused on you. He wouldn't leave you while the surgeons cleaned you up, or after. My head throbbed whenever I looked in on you, his mind was a mess." Kurama frowned. "I'm sorry for your current situation," the mind reader told him. "I had thought things were going well, since he seemed so content the last time we were near."

"He had said … that he wanted me to be happy." His hands were shaking. "So he posed as my lover."

"Did he really pose? Love has many manifestations."

Suddenly Kurama doubled over; it felt like his stomach was trying to flatten itself. He lurched forward, but the only thing that came out his mouth was the sound of dry heaves. Sobs followed, though he didn't know what exactly he was crying over.

Tomonari remained stoic during this breakdown. When Kurama began to cradle himself and shake, the other demon held onto his shoulder and helped him down. He calmed a little, taking deep breaths of sweet-smelling grass, but did not move to get back up.

A hand touched his own; the mind reader stretched out beside him. "I sent Michiko away with a neighbor, and stayed behind to make sure they weren't pursued. I didn't function well for a while after. That almost cost me my life after the barter I made to keep it. Who knows how it affected her? But I acted with her benefit in mind."

It was an assurance about Hiei, he thought.

* * *

Okay, so I don't know if that's the best place to leave it for now, but I thought it over and could come up with nothing better to end this chapter on. There'll be a few chapters after this one, and then I think the story will be done (gasp!). I've got some papers I'm working on right now, let's see—simple English paper; paper on the Society of Friends during Restoration England; paper on the psychologist Robert Coles and the application of his theories to Martha Stewart (yes, you read right, and yes, what the fuck?!)—but I will try to keep time for this, since we're getting so damn close to completion.


	24. Chapter XXIV

Well folks, here's how I configure it: Five chapters or less, and then this story is DONE. I don't know yet how long these chapters are going to be. We should shake it up some. I mean, I've got some chapters in here, now that I'm almost done re-wioop-ing, that are around twenty pages, and then others that are less than ten. So, maybe next chapter will be longer than this one, or shorter; I haven't started writing it yet. We'll see how that goes.

So I'm reading _Giovanni's Room _in my English class—and one of the themes I've been trying to write in this story? James Baldwin basically sums up the entire concept on page 25 of the copy that I have. Thank you, Mr. Baldwin, for taking my two years and condensing it in some four paragraphs or around there! Haha, but no, it's good, I had to reread it a few times, going "This is _so _what I've been trying to do—damn him!" XP Anybody curious to read it now? Maybe I'll incorporate it into here in a later chapter.

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XXIV  
September 26, 2007

"He's not here!" Hiei snarled, scanning the room. A crumbling far wall, blood stains on the ground … _something _spattered on the near wall, with smears down to _something _on the floor. He looked away from it. "This room is empty." Tomonari hadn't lied to him, because Kurama's scent was present, but so overpowered by the stench of blood that he couldn't track it.

"Sado's moved him," the mind reader replied, shouting over the death screeches of the crag's other inhabitants: low-level vermin that Hiei suspected were invertebrate. "Sado's in a lower room."

Hiei glared at him; Tomonari seemed wholly unfazed with the carnage around them, the stains on his clothes from his dead and dying cohorts. "And Kurama?"

"I don't know."

How useful. "What level?"

Tomonari beckoned he follow. The pair dodged this corpse, that soldier, the frequent inquiry of where they were going. More than once one of them almost fell after slipping in blood, or worse, and then water as their path sloped downward. "It's flooding from all the rain," the taller demon stated. "Sado said that Kurama's tears had given him an idea, weather permitting."

Tears? Hiei flinched as he stepped deeper and water filled his boots. "How far?"

"Up there."

"There" was a room with a steeply sloping floor. The Sadist was leaving; he didn't see the katana swing upward at him, and flew backward, face disappearing under the water. Hiei grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled him up, pointing the blade into his face. "Kurama," the Jaganshi said gruffly. He couldn't smell the Fox. Sado didn't answer; Hiei had cut him across the mouth, and now the left side was open further back, resembling a sneer. "Where is Kurama?" he demanded, putting the sword in the now-extended mouth, pressing against the new juncture of Sado's lips. This earned a pained noise as new blood ran down Sado's cheek and turned the water pink. Blue eyes rolled backward at an angle, looked at the Jaganshi, and rolled back again.

He followed the Sadist's gaze, then flung said demon at Tomonari and stumbled to the back corner of the room, where the water was deeper, and tendrils of red floated on the surface like seaweed.

A coarse rope was tied round Kurama's neck, a large stone attached. Hiei cut this away and held his friend up, searching for life within the pale, bruised body. The Kitsune was so cold and still…

Suddenly the body in his arms convulsed in a series of coughs; a few swallows worth of murky water came out Kurama's mouth. Green eyes opened a little, and looked up at him, though he saw no lucidity in them, before they closed again. Hiei's body tensed as Kurama's relaxed and felt heavier. Don't be dead, he thought for a moment, but the redhead had only lost consciousness.

Other footsteps were smacking the pathway. "Don't let them—" he began to tell Tomonari, but it was too late.

"How is he?" Yusuke inquired between gasps.

Hiei looked back over his shoulder. It was only the brunette and Kuwabara, so far; they alternated between sidelong glances of curiosity and revulsion at the wounded Sadist, whom Tomonari was only half-struggling to keep down, and then more urgent ones at him, because he hadn't answered yet. He was careful not to fully turn around. Neither of them knew everything that had happened when Kurama was taken, and the latter was naked.

"Your friend is cold and wet," Tomonari said to Kuwabara, gritting his teeth from his efforts. He finally plunged the Sadist's head underwater and crouched over it. "Give the Jaganshi your jacket."

Almost immediately a white coat came flying at Hiei. He caught it and wrapped it around Kurama, making sure that it covered the uglier wounds. Over the coat he draped his cape. Being full-length, even considering his height, it covered more. Hiei tucked it around his friend's shoulder, and furrowed his brow when he saw a piece of mildly stiff black fabric that hung loosely from Kurama's neck. He tore it off (it was so tattered and flimsy that it gave easily) and stared at it. The thing smelled rancid, but had an underlying scent that was familiar. He realized that it was in fact the missing piece of his cloak, and hurled it from himself when he identified why it was stiff—Kurama's blood, and some other foul components.

"Kurama needs medical attention," he said to the others, wading past them. "Clean this up. I'll deal with—" he passed a loathing eye over the Sadist, who now that Tomonari had permitted to resurface was gasping for breath and throwing Hiei a contemptuous look, all the more so due to the wound he'd inflicted—"with _It_, later."

* * *

It seemed that Kurama had come around a little, if only to utter small distressed groans while the surgeons tended to him. Hiei winced each time, and gripped the Fox's hand tighter.

Mukuro observed them impassively when she came in. Hiei had entrusted her with full knowledge of what'd transpired before Kurama's abduction. "The Sadist is in our custody, locked up."

"It will pay," Hiei grumbled, smoothing the hair out of Kurama's face. Cold, wet, dirty, tangled—his friend would have cringed if he were in a normal state of mind. Hiei would wash it later, if it didn't interfere with any doctors' treatments.

"It?" Mukuro repeated.

"Look what It did to him," the Jaganshi hissed.

"I'm not blind," she said, a little gruffly. "Our prisoner has a wound that'll need stitches when you're finished here," she told the surgeons. Hiei bristled at her nonchalance. "Kurama's an old Fox, he's deal with worse, physically."

Hiei glared at her, and pressed Kurama's hand between his own when the latter cried out suddenly.

She left, but Yusuke and Kuwabara soon materialized, and resisted his efforts to keep them out. "He looked pretty messed up earlier," the detective protested. "Is he conscious yet?"

"No," Hiei growled, standing in their way.

Unfortunately, Kuwabara could easily see over him. "What the—What are they doing to him?!" Hiei looked, and grimaced: the doctors were suturing up the tears It had left. Nasty sight. At least they'd put the Fox back under for now; he wasn't sure how much help he could be in such a situation. "Wait—what did _the Sadist _do to him?" Hiei didn't answer.

By now Yusuke had seen past him into the operating room as well. "Hiei," he said, paling a little, "did the Sadist…?"

Hiei slid past them, figuring that the drugs would prevent Kurama from noticing his absence, if he could notice anything right now, for at least a little while.

* * *

Someone knocked on his door. Mukuro stared down at him when he answered. "You don't have to do that," he said.

"I saw Kurama; he's still with Tomonari."

"… How did he look?"

"They appeared to be napping together, so I couldn't tell." Hiei raised an eyebrow, but shrugged—Kurama could benefit from some rest if he could get some. "How is he handling it, anyway?"

Hiei rested his head against the wall. "I think that It is actually the secondary angst-factor for him right now," he replied, and then grumbling "and me" in addition. "He's behaved more upset with people keeping it from him than he has with it actually happening."

"Different people react differently," she replied. "And has he been upset with you in particular?"

He nodded, still using the wall as a pillow. "He thinks that my being with him has been a giant pity-fueled ruse." No comment. "It wasn't," he said irritably, turning toward her. "I wanted him to be happy; I never wanted to hurt him."

"You're an idiot when it comes to emotions. I recall that I was the one who suggested to you what that kiss was about."

"Thank you for the insight," he said mordantly.

She rolled her eyes. "I don't doubt you wanted him to be happy, but _was _it pity?" He gave her an aggravated look, and did not—or perhaps, could not—answer.

* * *

Kurama stirred, but was reluctant to get up.

"You can't lie there all night. The Jaganshi will worry."

He opened an eye. Tomonari sat in front of him. "And so?" he murmured, raising himself up on his elbows. "No one's assaulted me this time around, so there's no great need."

"Even so, people grow insanely protective of those they really care about." Kurama snorted cynically. "It wasn't a joke, and I have a number of migraines to prove it."

"From when I was hospitalized." Tomonari nodded. "Guilt."

"Perhaps. He hated seeing you that way, but he stayed with you almost constantly, especially after it was realized that you seemed more responsive when he was around." The Fox threw him a suspicious look. "Give the doctors some credit; I was only used to confirm it."

"More responsive, in what way?"

"Alone, I couldn't pick anything up off of you. In company, though, especially his, I could read you. Weariness," he said before Kurama opened his mouth, "mostly. And pain. But better than nothing at all. It's why they moved you, even though you were still so battered. They thought having your mother around would benefit you."

A pang of shame cut through him. His deceit had been much more fantastic than hers—had its revelation hurt her that much more?

Tomonari stood up and shuffled around a little. The sun was going down, and taking the warmth with it. "You never really lost it, did you?" he aid, blowing on his hands, rubbing his arms. "Even right after you woke up, the blanket in your mind couldn't keep everything covered, though then you only thought it was dreams. Regardless of any attempt made to keep it back, it was going to flush out eventually. _That_, someone should explain to your Jaganshi."

"What do you mean?"

"He took such measures to protect you," he replied. "And it the end it was futile; you remembered it anyway. How did he think he could cultivate some romantic safeguard, with that knowledge hanging in your mind like some piece of bitter fruit?"

Kurama's forehead creased as he frowned pensively. "And what about you and Michiko? Didn't you take extreme measures for her protection?"

"Yes," the mind reader said shortly, "and see what's come of it?"

"… You don't envision a reunion with her at all?"

A bitter smirk took hold of Tomonari's mouth. "And how would I find her? Where would this reunion take place? I'd never allow a meeting here—this is my prison, after all. She doesn't need to see me in such a place."

"That sounds like your pride is the main hindrance."

"Would you want your mother to see you at the height of your demonic glory, Yoko Kurama?" He didn't reply. "You think I wouldn't love to see her again? For things to be as they were before Sado? Circumstances don't allow it. Often, circumstances don't allow for many of our ideals. We must make do."

He shivered; it had grown chilly. Was Hiei waiting for him in their rooms? "Your bitter fruit has given you a bitter outlook on the meaning of life."

"Hm?" Tomonari threw him an inquisitive look. "You remember those thoughts I voiced to you in the crag during the storm. And you thought that you'd been in the cliché position for revelation all your life, but it'd never happened. You're right. Belief in one set life's meaning belittles the variety of lives led—personally, I'd be inclined to kill anyone so foolish as to tell me that Sado and I shared the same life's purpose. We drive our own route."

Certainly, nobody had directed Kurama to the Ningenkai to nurse his wounds, nor had anybody told him to stay when he was fully recovered.

"And I'm not bitter," the sallow demon continued, almost sardonically. "Past events can embitter my mood, but I won't let myself be embittered."

Kurama listened, and then nodded, smiling sardonically. "If you were embittered, I suppose I'd be in trouble."

A dry, cough-like laugh came out the mind reader. "I still might love you, but _that _is such a mess that my head hurts just trying to fathom it. Good luck with that; I'd rather be in prison."

The Kitsune mimicked Tomonari's expression of humor—or cowardice—, and for a moment envied him.

* * *

Hiei was waiting on the couch for him. "How did it go?" he inquired, somewhat gingerly.

"He helped me remember a few things." Kurama faltered momentarily, thinking of the dead woman and child. "And a few things about himself. Did you know he has a little girl wandering somewhere in the Makai?" Hiei raised an eyebrow, indicating that he had not. "The reason he served Sado was to protect her. Can you imagine going to such extremes?"

Some of his tongue-in-cheek attitude had returned. Hiei wasn't sure how much he'd missed it. "Oh."

Kurama noticed he was holding something in the palm of his hand. "May I ask what is that?"

The Koorime stared down at the thing. "It's yours, actually." He held it out. "I was keeping it here, but since you've remembered…."

It was a medal. One of Alaric's highest honors, Kurama believed. "Thank you?"

Nervously, Hiei dumped it into Kurama's hand, and then paced about the room. "I want to tell you something," he began, glancing at the redhead and then looking away. "I think you should know."

"I'm listening," replied Kurama.

He stood by the window, looked out, and then turned around and sat on the sill, facing the Fox. "It was imprisoned in the dungeons of the Murukade," he stated. "Interrogations and punishments didn't affect it. It always looked like It was smirking." The right corner of his mouth twitched. "When Tomonari took us to Its crag, and I found It and you—It was trying to drown you, like an unwanted animal or something—I … cut It in the mouth, I tore part of the mouth open, and the way it healed—It always looked like It was smirking. Whatever I did, and usually I just watched, however I acted, It always got to me…"

Hiei looked riled. He normally didn't speak this much about this sort of matter. "If you need some water—"

"I'm fine," he said brusquely, waving off Kurama's concerns. "Yomi kept sending offers to help with It. You're his friend too, and It had terrorized Ganderra; but I kept refusing; I wanted to handle It myself. Mukuro went behind my back, though, and gave It to Yomi. He did a better job with it than I would have." Hiei tensed visibly as he made this admission. "We had listed Its crimes on a document with ink. Yomi wrote them into Its own skin with needles; he shot them into It with his own lips." He sounded dejected, jealous. "I don't know how he has such great aim. It wasn't sloppy or out of place."

"Yomi's lived much longer than you," Kurama reminded him. "He's had more time to be more creative, and more cruel." Hiei shrugged. "I've visited Yomi's prisons. It wasn't a particularly pleasant experience. How was Sado executed?"

Hiei leaned back, stared upward. " 'Executed' sounds too orderly," he told the ceiling wearily. "Nobody executed the Sadist. I killed It. It was a sloppy killing. I was in a rage. It always looked like It was smirking."

* * *

"I know that smell," the Sadist stated, looking at Hiei suggestively. At least, Hiei inferred it as suggestive. Since he'd cut Its mouth, it was hard to interpret Its facial expressions. Ultimately, he'd done It a favor. He stewed at that idea. His handiwork had never displeased him before.

He didn't acknowledge Its declaration. "Tell me," he said instead, "did you piss Yomi off, or was he just bored?" Strange thing, how jealous he felt looking at the Ganderran warlord's work. Had he opted for this form of torture so that even the blind could reach out and know this prisoner's crimes? Certainly it had yielded a satisfactory amount of pain. Even under the permanent smirk that Hiei had marked on It, the Sadist could not conceal some discomfort.

"What is It like?" asked the scarred demon. "In a bed, when the sex is only sex and not a more refined game?"

_Refined? _"You mean _Kurama_?"

"Its scent is all over you. I know that smell. The scent of a Yoko bears semblance to a brother's, no? It was like having my own burlesque room in the crag, with a more creative twist—burlesque and blood. Pain and pleasure … and pain." Its lips moved to enhance the impertinent fixture on Its face, and Hiei once again scolded himself for not having chosen a better target for his katana. "But you know the smell I talk about. You and I share a distinct taste."

That hit a nerve. "_I _don't get my kicks out of beating the shit, and blood, and innards, and whatever else, out of my partners," he retorted, betraying too much edge in his voice.

Of course, this gave the Sadist more fodder. Mukuro had warned Hiei before not to speak to It, It always managed to say the right thing to set him off, always got the better of him. He always failed to remember he admonitions. "I'll be It's skittish in bed now. Who knows how many have fantasized about having It grow docile and frightened in their hands? It began to tremble when I'd touch Its hair. Now that was a sight: quivering flesh, terrified eyes—"

"Shut up," Hiei said, keeping his tone flat.

"Are you a fuck and don't tell sort, Jaganshi?" Hiei glowered at It. "I'll be It screamed the first time you touched It after, didn't It? How did you feel about that?" Hiei set his jaw, and did not answer. "But Its species is meant to be used—"

"_Used?_" He was losing his grip; he didn't care.

Neither did the Sadist. "You were right there when I initiated my game with It. That sight must have aroused something—"

"_Watch it._"

"Oh, but you must enjoy your role as caretaker," It pressed, eyes glinting merrily, maliciously. "The fringe benefits must be—"

Hiei had drawn his sword before he knew that he was lost.

* * *

"I cut It to pieces," Hiei concluded. "I felt better afterward, for a while." He looked at Kurama, who looked back impassively. "But you were sick when I came back, and I didn't realize at first…" He stood up. "I kept thinking of what It said. I couldn't look at you the same way after. I was afraid that maybe I was using you. I'm—"

" 'Sorry' had better not be the next word out of your mouth." Kurama gave him a hard look. "My pride's taken enough of a beating during this experience. Don't kick it while it's down by turning me into a regret."

Hiei gave him a startled look. "I—You're not … I don't regret _you_—"

"Good," said the Fox. Several moments passed; a minute; and then another. Kurama said nothing else, and Hiei was afraid to make a sound. The atmosphere was so tense, that Hiei jumped when suddenly Kurama rose and strode over to him. "Tomonari said he betrayed Sado because he liked me and didn't want me dead, but I think that he's projecting too much. One of the last events I distinctly remember was … was Sado dashing a small child against the wall." Hiei's mouth twitched. "I'm sure—that is, I _know _that I've done things just as cruel, but…. It shook him—Tomonari—too; he thought of his girl, he thought of her dead and covered in blood. I think he let something down while Sado had me there, and then _that _happened.

"I remember why I brought up Yukina while we searched for Sado. She'd said goodbye to us before we came to Alaric. You were injured; she was very worried about you. She told me, since you and I were especially close, to make sure you were okay. You're like a brother to her." Kurama gave him a pointed look. "She was so concerned about you. And your pride was injured more than your body was. When I mentioned her name, you were already so aggravated that you wanted nothing to do with it. 'Do not press this subject again.' I hadn't expected you to be so angry.

"You can be especially abusive towards the ones you hold dearest," he concluded, and as though this speculation had taken the last of his resolve with it on the way out, he flung himself down atop Hiei's lap, forcing the Koorime to brace him. "But I think everyone can. Tomonari knows that he cast his child, or whatever she is to him, into the wilderness, into uncertainty. He doesn't seem to regret it, or anything. It's all a mess, but he's made a place in it, like everyone must." Catching Hiei's jaw, forcing his companion to look at him, he gave the smaller demon a contemplative look. "Like you and I. And I do not regret you, Hiei."


	25. Chapter XXV

Well, what was originally going to constitute this chapter ended up getting split—who knew that introspection could be so lengthy, eh?

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XXV  
November 1, 2007

Hiei's eyes widened as a soft curtain of red caressed his face, as Kurama's head rested against his shoulder. A pair of arms wound round him, a pair of legs enveloped him tighter. "Kurama—"

"Shut up," the Fox murmured into his ear. "I won't regret this either." Lips against the skin of his neck, his throat. "Unless you will?" A slack developed between their bodies; his companion pulled back and looked down at him inquisitively, waiting for a response.

It came in the form of his arms encircling Kurama's torso in a hold rivaling the latter's. He leaned upward until he found the thin skin responsible for the satin sensations before, and proceeded to get reacquainted. Its owner was more than eager to help, pressing against him. Soft cushions brushed against his skin as he eased back and let Kurama stretch out on top of him. He was given more leave to move his shoulders once the other demon's arms moved to buttress their owner above him.

Just what that owner had planned for other appendages, he wasn't certain, but whatever they were, they were unwinding at Kurama's own leisure. Currently the Kitsune was concentrating on the hollow between his collarbones. He shut his eyes, told himself that since his lover had initiated this—hell, _asked _for it—, enjoyment was perfectly acceptable. Any nagging notions of Its final taunts could be disregarded. Little by little, his muscles relaxed. His eyes shifted to the cascade of red sprawled over his chest, the set of teeth nibbling on a clavicle. "What would you have me do?" he asked in a heavy voice.

Green eyes regarded him pensively. The mouth abandoned its appetizer. "Just let me love you," Kurama answered simply.

The redhead's weight shifted to the left arm as the right hand moved and resettled itself down his pants; Hiei closed his eyes while his skin tingled. He felt something give, his pants sliding down his thighs.

Kurama stared down at him, and then grabbed one of his hands. "One of the times you were away," his companion murmured, "you said you'd never masturbated so much." Hiei watched the Fox shift his hips a little, wriggling out of his pants. (Absently, Hiei noted to himself that, even with living in the Ningenkai and letting himself go a little, the humanized demon still retained an astonishing flexibility.) "What about when you were afraid to touch me?" Kurama asked, bringing Hiei's hand to his crotch.

"I—." The Koorime widened his eyes when suddenly Kurama reared up, came back down, —and _engulfed _him. He lurched upward, breath hitching. His hand was still on his lover's crotch; he felt it grow warmer and more swollen at the Kitsune rocked on top of him. "Kurah…" he sighed, relishing the heat of the skin flushed against his, "mah…"

In reply, he received a hoarse moan, and a tightening of the redhead's hand round his. He grunted, flexed his fingers, and curled them around his friend's penis, thus earning an even louder moan. Encouraged by this token of appreciation, Hiei moved his hand back and forth. Kurama ceased bobbing up and down, and instead rocked his hips in time with Hiei's motions.

The rosy color that Kurama's flesh had taken was the loveliest sight that Hiei had seen in some time. Its temperature, almost (as this time he knew) feverish, the best sensation that he had—.

… Well, he corrected, taking several deep gasps, make that the _second _best sensation that he had felt in a while.

"Oh!" Kurama yelped. He leaned over, bracing his arms against Hiei's chest, eyes rolling back inside his head. The Jaganshi felt him shudder several times before he finally went limp, when his arms gave, resulting in an "Oomph!" from the other demon when he fell prone on top of him.

Delectable was the heat. Hiei held Kurama firmly to him for a better feel.

For a while, the Fox permitted this. And then, gently, he pulled away, and slid off the bed. "Where are you going?" Hiei asked drowsily, frowning as a chill settled over him.

Kurama noticed, and pulled a blanket over him. "Only out for a little while."

"Are you okay?"

"I feel fine," his friend assured, pulling on some clothes. "I just want to … stroll, and clear my head a little."

Hiei didn't know what there was that needed clearing; the only thought in his own head right now what _warmth and sleep_. And so he didn't feel lucid enough to push for anymore. "Okay," he simply said, curling up on one side and watching groggily as Kurama left him alone in his quarters.

* * *

"Have you forsworn sleep?" inquired Tomonari. Just now was the sky beginning to turn gray, and yet the redhead did not look the more worn out from this early behavior.

Kurama regarded the mind reader. "Have you?"

"I am always up at this hour. Usually I'll sleep in the afternoon's idle time."

"And perhaps I do as well," he answered dispassionately.

"And I know," Tomonari countered, "that in the time you have spent here _recently_, you have not."

Despite his composure, a blush heated his face. "… My mind is full. I grow distracted from sleep; I don't want to distract Hiei from his. Do you see what people dream?"

"I've never tried."

He watched the horizon pensively. "He sleeps more peacefully here than I've ever seen him before."

"The Jaganshi did not sleep so peacefully when he left you. I think that he likened it to leaving you in danger. Is the Ningenkai dangerous?"

"… As much as the Makai is," Kurama answered after a moment's thought. "But not as evenly dispersed. Many places are quiet. I live in such a place."

"Do you enjoy it?"

Kurama considered his unrest. "I experience the call of the wild, but it's not a horrible place to live. Why; are you thinking of moving?" It wasn't a sincere question—Tomonari was chained, figuratively if not literally, to the Murukade for life, and they both knew it.

So instead of reminding him of this fact, Tomonari replied: "Are you?"

"… What?"

But the brunette demon's focus had been diverted. "Good morning, Lord Mukuro."

He turned to look over his shoulder at "Lord Mukuro", as Tomonari respectively never failed to address her. She lounged nearby, drinking something hot and observing the same sky as they. Every morning he'd been out, she was nearby, and he'd grown accustomed to her presence, but she was much closer today.

Closer, he realized, and closer still. She was now approaching them.

"_You_," Tomonari corrected, climbing to his feet, moving away. "She is now approaching _you_."

"Huh—?"

"Good morning, Tomonari," Mukuro said placidly as he bowed over a little while passing her. And then she fixed her gaze on that dash of red, which had caused her to do a double-take on the first morning when she came out with her coffee, but with which she had since familiarized herself. "Good morning, Kurama."

To her amusement, his eyes widened a fraction at the greeting. But then, this may have been the first time she'd really spoken to him. "How are you?"

"I-I can't complain," he managed.

Lie, she thought, even if he meant it with integrity. She eyed him carefully. "Then I suppose Hiei can't, either," she said. Then: "He's an idiot when it comes to feelings, but I want to say that this was a good idea. Was it?"

"I—Yes, it was." It was too early, he thought, but he supposed he should feel … something, from her concern. "I have an un-fragmented picture in my mind of what happened now, thanks to it."

Ironic that possession of such abusive memories was being interpreted in a positive light. "What will you do when you go home?" she inquired.

The question caught him off-guard. "I'm unsure," he answered honestly. "I think that I had begun to experience doubts over my current course in the Ningenaki, even prior to the conflict with Sado. It was starting to make me unhappy, I believe. But there are many opportunities for myself in that world."

She sipped her coffee; its steam rose and condensed on the metallic side of her face. "It wouldn't be the most crippling adversity you've ever overcome, I'm sure," she opined. "Besides, from my experience, it's the emotions bred from the abuse that become a more formidable hindrance than it in itself was. When one can break from those, one feels better. I'm content now."

Kurama furrowed his brow. "… Pardon?"

Mukuro didn't answer. "You do have a lot of opportunities wherever you make your home," she affirmed instead. "And you do deserve to be happy."

"I … Thank you?"

She smirked at the confused tone in his voice, and then made a gesture of farewell before walking away. Kurama stared after her, the realization slowly sinking in that the Alarician warlord had just given him something more significant than condolences—empathy.

* * *

Even Tomonari appeared content with the plateau upon which his life had been fixed. (He had later confided in Kurama, during the sky's acquisition of pink and gold hues, that this event was one that Michiko had delighted in watching; Tomonari had been unable to sleep past dawn since their parting. At least Kurama's restless mind would eventually tire itself out.) And then Mukuro had achieved a status as one of the most powerful demons in Makai. Weighing the former and the latter, the Fox concluded that he should be feeling optimistic: regardless of where he fell between the mind reader and the warlord, his path from here would improve.

But then, why did he feel so tense?

* * *

Shuichi had told her that the length of his time away was indeterminable, and so Shiori almost forgot to brake the car when, pulling into the driveway one afternoon, she discovered him sitting on the stoop. Fortunately, she did remember in time, although he gave her an alarmed look as she stepped out of the car. "How long have you been back?" she inquired hastily, anxious to know his current status.

"A week," he replied nonchalantly. "Or so." She was unable to mask a hurt look. "I've been busy, so I haven't called."

"Busy" may not have been the right word; he hadn't been busy in the sense of some haggard office worker. Much of his time back he had spent having spontaneous, frenzied lovemaking with Hiei. These sessions bewildered the Koorime, and left Kurama with a peculiar feeling that had followed him home from Alaric. It prompted him to leave the apartment with disregard for the hour, and seek someplace where he could sit and think.

Shiori couldn't read the expression on her son's face, but he was much more sedated than on his last visit. "Would you like to come inside?"

He did, and quickly accepted her offers for tea and food. She watched him consume these voraciously, and noticed that since the last time she'd seen him, something other than his obvious demeanor had changed. What, though, she could not identify. "You're eating well?" she asked, considering his apparent appetite. Shuichi nodded. "How … How are you feeling?"

The redhead ceased chewing, brow furrowed in contemplation. After a while—"Strange," he answered softly. "I feel … strange." He was quiet for a few moments. "What do you think of Hiei, Mother?"

"What?"

"I've never really assessed your opinion of him," he stated, "so I wondered. If you ever disapproved, you weren't _extremely _vocal about it."

They both remembered a certain phone conversation. "… He can be gruff," Shiori admitted. "He might be one of the bluntest people I've ever met, when he does talk." A smile flickered across her son's face, brightening it for a moment. "Maybe—I was uncomfortable with you and him at first," she confessed. "I wondered if maybe, because of … perhaps you were reaching out for someone to protect you…."

His mother looked embarrassed. Kurama raised an eyebrow, almost bemused. "To clarify, Hiei's not the first male lover I've ever had. None of them were my keepers."

Though she didn't mean to, she gawked at him. She knew he referred to demons, and wondered what the gambit ran in the Makai.

"However," he continued, ignoring her curious stare, "you are right in that Hiei did try to protect me. I'm afraid that in the case of reciprocation, I have not been near as equivalent, thus far."

"… He cried for you," Shiori said. "I remember; when you were sleeping in the temple. I think that he'd waited until everyone had gone, but I could hear him."

Kurama's mouth twitched. Hiei would have been humiliated had he known—unless he had felt so horrible that he hadn't cared. "He felt responsible for what happened."

She nodded thoughtfully, and then said, "He told me that he had abused you."

"_What?_"

"The night you left him," she explained. "And he came over here. He told me that in trying to care for you, he had been abusing you without realizing it." She paused a moment. "In that sense, _I _helped to—"

"Everyone was just trying to do what they thought was the right thing," the redhead interrupted wearily. "I've been trying to show Hiei that I don't hate him for it. It was … a well-intentioned blunder."

He didn't speak anymore after this. Something in his expression, in his posture, suggested pain.

She asked for his now-emptied dishes, which he handed over without a word, and took them to the sink. When she looked back at him he was staring outside, though apparently at nothing in particular.

Strange, he had said, and something in him seemed to reflect this. Her inability to designate it proved mildly frustrating. She sighed a little, and noting the time, stated, "Shuichi should be home soon," before adding, in a more sullen tone, "He has a black eye now."

This information snapped her son out of his stupor. "Excuse me?" he said, his gaze less despondent and focused on her now.

"He got into a fight with a few classmates," she supplied, her disapproval well pronounced. "I forget their names, but I remember him brining them over a few times."

Slowly, Kurama's mouth turned into a small smile that he doubted she would identify. "I believe I know which ones they were."

"He shouldn't be fighting," Shiori said adamantly. "I don't know what's happening at that school anymore. You never fought—"

Her tongue froze when he began to cough. Nothing was irritating his throat. "It … It doesn't make sense to compare the younger son to the elder when the latter is a millenium old, and not quite human." He shrugged, giving her a contemplative look. "There are many things that I could tell you; but I think I will wait until such things seem less strange for us. When did Shuichi get into this fight?"

* * *

The day was balmy. Hiei was still in bed. How Kurama could get up and going so early—he had been the one to open all the windows that morning, before leaving—, after keeping the both of them up all night, was beyond his comprehension. The Koorime felt like a sloth by comparison. He still winced from Kurama's grip on him, a grip that left bruises on his shoulder blades and ribcage. He would barely collapse on top the bedding before the demon beside him was up again and nibbling on whatever exposed piece of flesh was convenient.

And added to all that now, the soreness.

* * *

"Did you have an affair with someone on the Mukade?" he had asked sardonically.

Kurama threw him a mock-irritated look. "And why would I? You're almost more than I can handle, Hiei."

_He _was? "Then are you in heat?" he inquired more seriously. The Fox negated this with a shake of the head. "Then what?" Kurama was _looking _at him again—he widened his eyes when suddenly he was pinned to the mattress, his friend kneeling over him. "What…?" he managed, eyes growing larger still as Kurama brought a knee up between his legs, spreading them apart.

"You sometimes ask the most ridiculous questions," the redhead declared throatily. "Why do I make love to you? Because I love you. Why do I love you? Because I do—It simply is." Narrowing his eyes, he said, "You had told me," he ran his tongue up Hiei's face, " 'Not entirely.' And I wonder: What is 'entirely'?"

There was a feral glint in Kurama's eyes. Hiei took care that his expression didn't waver under it. "I neh-_ever_," he began, but then the Kitsune moved swiftly and he cried out, trying to recall how to breathe. He opened and closed his mouth, tried to conjure something, but only yielded a dry gasping noise. Suddenly the many bruises and claw marks that his companion often left on him made much more sense.

"You did," his friend said, kissing and nuzzling him. "You did tell me."

He'd been misunderstood. "I never exp_ect_ed you," he panted. He felt stuffed. "To lo-_uhve_—" he clenched his teeth and hissed—"… me."

Through his narrowed eyes, he thought he saw yellowish ones crinkle in a smirk. And then he felt a pair of lips press against his forehead. "Mukuro said you were stupid with emotions."

No other interrogations followed. Hiei wouldn't have been able to answer anyway. He clung to the larger demon, who kept murmuring his name over and over. The stuffed sensation became a burning one; his body was growing hotter and hotter. He didn't think the yellow eyes he'd seen were a distortion: Kurama had grown unusually fierce—biting his neck, squeezing his shoulders, slamming into him—always repeating his name, like a chant. He tried to utter some form of answer, but the syllables all shot out as though from his stomach, choppy and unintelligible. Sweat streamed from his forehead down the sides of his face; he could feel his hair grown wet from it. All the while, his companion still calling his name…

Finally, a howled "Kura-ah-ah-_mah!!_" in response. Hiei wondered that the redhead's bones weren't breaking yet, so tightly he clung. All the air was gone from his stomach, and so he drew in and exhaled deep sighs as he fell amongst the sheets. Kurama still lay on top of him like a blanket, still uttered his name even after emptying. Damp red hair veiled the utterer's face. He stroked this hair, and the head it was rooted in, and listened to its owner to take heavy, shaky breaths. "… That felt good, Kurama," he said at last. "Thank you."

A neighboring set of ribs expanded and contracted against his own while Kurama laughed—or was he crying? "So good," his lover said hoarsely, "that you almost want to fall in love with me, right?"

Hiei stared up at the ceiling, rubbing Kurama's neck, rubbing Kurama's back. The Fox's seed was leaking onto his thighs. He kind of liked the feeling. He had just allowed Kurama to do what no one had ever done to him before—he would definitely be sore tomorrow—but, the ache sort of felt good.

"If I could," Hiei answered, "I would fall in love with you wholly, without hesitation."

* * *

He had predicted correctly: A complaint from below made itself known as he shifted into a sitting position. Despite his best efforts to ignore it, the Koorime betrayed a discomforted grimace.

Kurama was who-knew-where—his friend had grown restless since before their return from Alaric, and no longer bound by the Murukade's walls, was harder to keep track of. However, this roaming didn't make him anxious, as by evening the Fox was home again, steady in movement and speech, if somewhat quiet. They would make conversation over dinner, or else his friend would quietly eat and behave as though unaware of his scrutiny while he watched and mulled over what might be going through the other demon's head.

It had never been his intention to hurt Kurama. Nobody had ever confessed to loving him like _that_, and then his best friend … Inarguably, he'd always been closest to the Fox, and worried most when it was the latter in a fight. There existed between the two a level of understanding beyond articulation. Kurama was like the male counterpart to Mukuro and Yukina both.

And Hiei did love him.

… And if he could fulfill last night's answer, if he could make unadulterated the gestures of his that a certain kiss had conjured—he would not regret it.


	26. Chapter XXVI

**A/N: **I think this chapter feels a little awkward, and I suppose that it should. All the same, the time flow in here is broader and more blurred than in most other chapters, as shall it be in the next chapter too. Though I myself am not one hundred percent sure, let us say that this chapter spans over some several weeks or the earlier portion of the Spring season, perhaps.

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XXVI  
December 19, 2007

The day was balmy, and he had chosen a scenic route home from his day's activities. 'I've missed the Sakura again,' he thought morosely, staring at the forlorn blossoms scattered on the ground. Kurama stooped down an d collected a handful of the dying flowers. He had wanted to bring Hiei to see them before, but…

That tree again; that bench. Hiei perching over and staring down at him while he sought a temporary escape from all the confusion. He snorted: Hiei kissing him, leading to more confusion. What had the Koorime felt during the days between when Kurama had kissed him, and he brought him here to return that kiss (on the cheek, he recalled)? Hiei couldn't have realized what it would bring both of them into.

But Kurama was an old Fox, and knew better about the weight of such decisions.

* * *

"You look like you've lost weight," Hiei remarked.

"Hm?" Kurama had been lying down on the couch; now he twisted and looked over at the Jaganshi. "Thank you?" he replied softly, face pinking just a little.

Had he been so verbally frugal that a simple observation embarrassed the Fox? "You were … _eating_, before," Hiei said, and then frowned—it sounded stupid even as he said it.

His friend quirked an eyebrow. "I _still _eat."

"I mean I—thought you were getting fat," he admitted. What term had he used before, "tender"?

Silence. "I was," answered Kurama uncomfortably. "I've been out and about more lately."

More reason why that job had been unhealthy. He should have abandoned it a long time ago. "You look good," he said, shrugging. "Where have you been going out to?"

"Helping Yusuke and Keiko clean up shop. They're anticipating reopening next month." Hiei betrayed surprise. "Shizuru is helping them out." Smiling, he added, "Yusuke reasons that since he was desperate enough to get out of the office building, he wasn't too discriminating to bypass the devil and deal with _her_."

Hiei snorted. "Have you forgiven them?"

After a moment's contemplation, Kurama answered: "I have to, for my health if nothing else. I don't want anger to eat me up for centuries the way it did to Mukuro."

This last bit made the smaller demon start. "She told you about…?" He trailed off when he saw Kurama's smirk.

"She _alluded _to such," said the Fox, "but thank you for your confirmation, Hiei."

He frowned. "_Funny._"

Still smiling his companion said, "I try." The mirth in his tone dissipated Hiei's aggravation at being tricked, a little. "What do you want for dinner?"

"What _is _there?" he asked seriously. If there was one drawback to Kurama's defunct job, it was monetary—they were running low on money, and on food.

Kurama shrugged. "I … am thinking of working there, for a while."

"Where?"

"Yusuke doesn't have the best customer relations skills…"

He stared in disbelief. "_The ramen shop?_" Kurama nodded. "Why?"

"As I said, I think that Yusuke could use an example for business." Smiling wryly, he added, "If nothing else, we'll have food, right?"

No answer. Hiei was still in shock over this new idea. Refocusing, he gave the Fox a questioning look. "You're not … taking anything to boost your energy or something like that, are you?" Kurama had said something recently about feeling "strange."

The questioning look was returned. "No; why?"

"You're just—You've been very spirited lately." '_Manic._' At first it was just sex and his roaming. Both could be easily rationalized—the breaking of their abstinence, agitated by Hiei's most recent (solo) stay in the Makai, and the sudden acquisition of more time on his hands. _This_, though, was more unexpected, impulsive … '_Manic._'

"Are you complaining?"

"_No_," he said hastily. He was just worried about if Kurama crashed.

"You're tense," the redhead commented, standing up. "Come walk with me."

* * *

"I don't care if you think Koenma was stupid for asking," he declared, hair rustling in the early evening, slightly damp spring breeze. "I'm glad he got that opportunity."

This most recent stay in Makai had been to observe Spirit World's first involvement in anything pertaining to the Sadist's uprising since brining in its former tantei. Understandably, Koenma had been reluctant to intervene after what had happened to Kurama, though just recently the Fox had commented that Sado's confronting the bulk of the Makai territories had been a legitimate concern for the Spirit World as well. (Cold logic, or was this for his health as well?) Koenma was trying his best to make retribution for what had happened, although Hiei was skeptical of some of his means…

"He was an idiot for not doing anything real with it. You should have seen Botan's face after he made his request."

His friend gave him an inquisitive look. "But you can empathize, can't you?"

He shrugged. True, he had told Botan that… "She can't understand; she's never been in that scenario." As an afterthought, he threw Kurama a meaningful look, and added: "She can't judge."

To his surprise, Kurama nodded after a moment. "True, Hiei. One can't presume to know it all until they've experienced it themselves. Mother pointed that out to me actually, though I do still disagree with what she, and others, did."

He said it with such offhandedness that Hiei couldn't tell if it was meant as a stab or not. So he shrugged it off. "All the same, his determination to punish himself is ardent almost to the brink of stupidity," he muttered. A soft sound, like a subtle laugh, came from his friend. Giving Kurama a curious look, he realized the cause of the former's amusement and narrowed his eyes. "Let me clarify," he growled. "We _are _talking about Tomonari."

Not quite suppressing a smirk, Kurama nodded, and said "Certainly," though Hiei found the sincerity of his tone lacking. "Botan's never been in that scenario," he reinforced, "and neither have you."

For a moment Kurama said nothing. And then: "Correct, Hiei. That requires a cut-throat sort of compassion that I've never applied before, so I suppose I haven't."

Complete sincerity this time. "… Hn," he managed, finding nothing to add. "Koenma's putting too much effort into compensating Its security, anyway."

"Oh? As you said, Tomonari's 'not doing anything real with it.' "

"But _you_—"

"Have been compensated," Kurama interrupted. "Or will be, soon. I'm satisfied with it."

Koenma was having one of Kurama's deepest wishes put to print: eradicating any remaining hold the Reikai offices wielded over the ex-criminal. Kurama would never be involved in another paranormal affair against his will ever again; the Fox could remain in his human niche, unsolicited, uninterrupted. Free. Hiei's old desires to see Kurama restored to their native world in his "pure" form didn't seem important anymore. "I'm glad," Hiei said honestly.

A low rumbling noise could be heard. "And hungry?" asked the redhead with a little smile. "If the shop reopens soon enough, perhaps we could go on a grocery shopping spree."

"You're serious about working there." Kurama nodded. "It seems beneath you," he confessed.

His concern earned an amused smile. "You used to consider my humanity beneath me as well. But this could be a good change." Sobering suddenly, he looked Hiei full in the face and said "I know that much of what I do perplexes you, but please trust that I do put thought into my actions, Hiei."

Blinking in surprise, Hiei managed to reply: "I do. That was one of the reasons I partnered with you to begin with." Lowering his voice, he added, "Even the negative things, you think about, don't you?"

"That quality is in the eye of the beholder. Cooking noodles—"

"Working _for _the _detective_." Essentially, a self-demotion.

"—isn't the worst thing in the world. Now, something like the incident in the bar…"

That was something that had been absent from their refrigerator lately, Hiei had noticed. He didn't miss it. "You were mixed up over things," he dismissed. "Everyone has low points." And Kurama didn't deserve any more. "And—You were alone. I was being too self-absorbed to actually be with you. It won't happen again."

Looking at him thoughtfully, the Fox nodded. "I don't think it will either, Hiei." He sat down on a bench, pulling a hand from his pocket. "I have some money. Let me treat you to something." Hiei's stomach growled again, this time louder. Listening, Kurama amended himself. "Let me treat you to something _cheap_."

Kurama was undressing. From his spot sprawled on the bed Hiei had a fantastic angle for observation. That being "out and about" really had done him some good. Hiei wondered if he should feel guilty that he hadn't noticed sooner, and now that he had, couldn't stop noticing. Although, Kurama and his voracity could make noticing all that one in their weariness had the energy to do.

The Fox turned and Hiei sat up, anticipating what was to come. And then, to his surprise:

"Go to sleep, Hiei. You look like you need it."

That was true: He certainly had been missing out on sleep, thanks primarily to the surge in Kurama's appetites. His duties in Alaric had seemed almost like a vacation, simply his rest went undisturbed at night.

Perhaps he hadn't disguised his reaction well. Kurama yawned, and gave him a sheepish smile. "I'm a little out of shape. My time in the shop has demanded more energy than I've become accustomed to using."

The Jaganshi snorted. "Right. So _you're _just tired."

A flick of the switch. "And selfish," murmured Kurama in the dark, lying down beside him. "You're irresistible, Hiei, but I'm just much too burnt out right now…" Another yawn. "I'm too old to be so self-centered, anyhow. In the future, I won't allow your welfare to escape my consideration again."

"My _welfare_?" He saw the form of Kurama's head move in an affirming gesture. Rolling his eyes, he said, "Don't forget that I come from the ice. I don't think that _that _is the staple to my welfare that it is to _yours_."

Rhythmic, warm breath was his only answer. Kurama wasn't kidding abut being tired. He spent a few minutes with head propped up on one arm, watching the dark silhouette of the chest rise and fall, listening to the steady inhalations and exhalations.

It proved contagious. He soon rolled over and fell asleep.

* * *

"_Ow!_" Yusuke stared down at the blood gushing from his thumb. "Mother fu—"

"You know, I was thinking that after we open, we lock him in the kitchen."

"Ha. Ha." The brunette rolled his eyes at Shizuru's commentary. "Should lock _her _upstairs."

"What _is _up here?" Kurama asked, balancing a box between his chest and the wall.

"Technically, living space." Yusuke licked the blood off the wounded digit. "But there's really only room enough for one person, so right now it's storage. Keiko and I will have to knock a wall down or something before we can live up there together."

Kurama lifted an eyebrow. "Mr. and Mrs. Yukimura must be thrilled."

"_Hah. _We're already living together, so." He shrugged. "Besides, I guess we have to thank you and Hiei, sort of." The Fox's forehead creased in bewilderment. "You confused Keiko's dad, I think. He practically hasn't hounded us at all since you argued with him." Grinning suddenly, he said, "We should have a double commitment ceremony or something; nobody could say _anything_ then."

"_Spite _really isn't a romantic motive," Kurama replied bemusedly. "If you really intend on marrying someday, have an engagement ceremony instead." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Keiko perk at the idea. "And I am already committed to Hiei. I don't need to formalize that feeling. People will say things regardless, if the complexities extend their grasp of understanding. Your indignation is admirable," he said as Yusuke made to protest, "but I am unconcerned with external opinions."

Yusuke shrugged, giving up. "Point taken, Mr. Nonconformist."

Bent over his burden, Kurama managed to look up and afford the other man a minute smile.

* * *

Hiei made a face at the sound of rake against concrete. Spring rains had become a frequency, bringing down the past fall's dead leaves and plastering them anywhere they would stick. The Koorime had always hated slipping on them.

But this act of removing them was fairly unpleasant as well. An hour and a half had passed, and he was only now clearing out the last of the debris on the terrace. Certainly other, quicker means existed, but Kurama deemed them "too conspicuous" and wouldn't permit their use. In their apartment, Hiei sometimes—sometimes—forgot that they were living amidst a throng of humans. How Kurama had managed to live this way _this long _was something next to marvelous.

Speaking of… Ah, he was in the shower. A place that Hiei would no doubt wind up soon: he was covered in dingy leftover rainwater and leaf shreds. Not the attire that he supposed Kurama would like worn to dinner at the Hatanaka house.

Although, the Fox had seemed almost apologetic about their plans earlier. "It's good of you to put up with all these ningen affairs for my sake, Hiei," he had said with a small, rueful smile. "I promise that you'll be free to be a demon again soon."

That promise perplexed him. His stay here was self-imposed, unlike the previous exile Spirit World had sentenced him to. Nor was his personal state altered like Kurama's was. He was simply a demon among the human and humanized. Did Kurama think differently?

He looked at the now cleared off terrace. Perhaps he could persuade Kurama to "be a demon again" and grow something on it, despite the redhead rejecting the idea when he'd suggested it earlier that week. Humanized or not, Hiei found he no longer really cared, just let his friend maintain what had survived the shift…

Having meant to go into the bathroom to wash up, a noise on the other side of the door caused Hiei to pause. Listening with brows knotted for a few moments, he finally (reluctantly) backed away, and decided that his imperative clean-up could be done in the kitchen sink.

Later, if it seemed appropriate, he would ask why Kurama had been crying in the shower.

* * *

He regretted it.

"Please don't be concerned for me," Kurama had said. "I admit that I've been struggling with some things lately, but I'll be fine. And so will you." He stood up and took a step toward Hiei. The Koorime was way of the look in his eyes. "You must have been in such an awkward position and unsure of what to do," he continued, "and I'm the one responsible. I apologize for that."

Something that had been languid in the depths of Hiei's stomach stirred and made itself known. "Kurama—?"

"I have so much to thank you for," the Kitsune interrupted. "Even if some of your intentions weren't well-executed. You looked after me and took care of me, and loved me, in your own way—even if … Even if you do not reciprocate my love." Hiei could see his mouth tighten ever so slightly, though he could not see the smaller demon's innards go through a similar motion. He shook it off. "I know that you had to make sacrifices, and I don't think I can ever express my gratitude enough for that." His lips contorted into one of the fakest smiles that Hiei had ever seen. "I'll only be able to try."

The something flared up and made Hiei feel ill. "I don't need any retribution," he said uneasily. "I did it because I wanted to."

"And I want to do this."

"You don't have to."

"I _need _to. _You _need to."

"It is not your place to decide what I…!" His protest died as he realized its hypocrisy. "Don't harm yourself to fulfill your sense of righteousness, Kurama."

Despite the resolution of his lover's pose, the emerald gaze faltered for a moment. "Quite the contrary, Hiei," the redhead murmured, conjuring a less phony semi-smile. "We can only rise from here. And to do that…"

Both their faces clouded. Kurama cleared his throat and stepped closer to Hiei. Putting on the strained ghost smile again, he said: "I love you, Hiei. And I will always love you. But you don't—_can't_—return it."

"I—"

"Despite that," the Fox continued, louder, "you did your best as a lover, and you deserve that have that returned." His features looked pinched.

"Kurama—"

"So as your lover, allow me to try. Because I love you—"

"_Kurama—_"

"_Shut up._" He snatched Hiei into a rough embrace and the Koorime did shut up, mainly because as Kurama kissed his forehead he felt something so overwhelming that it left him almost paralyzed.

Maybe he could attribute that for his non-reaction when Kurama pulled away and in a sterile voice informed him: "We're not lovers anymore."

* * *

A loud, passionate knock on the door woke Shiori and Kazuya Hatanaka from their sleep. "_Who…?_" he muttered, fumbling in the dark and noting the time. Another knock. "What are you doing?" Shiori had stepped into the hallway.

"It could be important," she replied. Their last late night visitor had been Hiei, announcing the renewal of their eldest son's crisis.

"You're not going down alone," he insisted, grabbing his robe—starting when he heard the open and shut of the front door. "You're not going down."

She ignored the last demand, but let him lead the way downstairs. And then she almost tripped over him after he froze on the last step. Looking over his shoulder, she quickly saw why. "Shuichi!"

Her redheaded son stood in the entry, holding a backpack slung over one shoulder and looking quite dead to the world. He must have grown impatient and let himself in. (Did he still have a key?) "Shuichi, what are you doing here?" Suddenly his appearance hit her. "Are you okay? Where's Hiei?"

For a few moments all he did was stare at her almost mindlessly. "Hiei's home," he answered quietly. And then, in a slightly louder, hoarser voice, he said:

"I need a place to crash."


	27. Chapter XXVII

**A/N: **This came rather fast. I do apologize if it seems inconsistent; once again, we're covering a larger time frame with sporadic events. The next chapter shall be _the last_, but I'm not sure how much time it will take to finish, although I will shoot for very soon, so do please bear with me.

By the way—the comparison in the second section regarding kites and strings is a paraphrase from Session 26 of _Cowboy Bebop_, "The Real Folk Blues, Part 2." I was trying to describe how he might feel and that kept coming back, so I went with it.

* * *

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XXVII  
December 21, 2007

Yusuke fished out his keys, and was surprised to find the kitchen already open. "Hello…?"

"Yes, Yusuke."

He knew the voice. "Where have you been?" he exclaimed. "I haven't seen you in almost two weeks. It's like you fell off the face of the earth or something."

"I've been staying with my family," Kurama answered while lighting the stove. Three days in bed, putting off answering his parents' inquiries as to Hiei's whereabouts or what had happened. Another day before he got up and dressed. After a week's lapse he sat down to his first actual meal since his sudden move-in, breakfast with his mother. Finally he managed to articulate what had happened: Hiei had gone home to the Makai; he was moving out of their apartment; could he stay with them (this was a late request) until he secured a new place? "By the way Yusuke, have you considered letting the storage space upstairs?"

"Uh—What? Wait, you…?" Kurama nodded. "I'd have to talk to Keiko; what do you want to store?"

"Myself, for the time being. I'd rather not further impose on my family while I search for a more permanent home."

"Oh—WHAT? Wait, you guys _moved_?" Kurama nodded again. "Okay, I guess, but um, you know it's not really big enough for two—?"

"I only need room for one," the Fox said nonchalantly.

"Huh?" Yusuke stared at him. "Just for one, what do you mean? Where's Hiei staying?"

"In his apartments in Alaric, I assume."

Same nonchalance. Had Yusuke totally missed something? "Wait, Kurama, I'm—Huh?"

For the first time that morning Kurama paused and actually looked at him. "I understand: you're wondering why Hiei and I are no longer living together."

"Well, yeah. Did he have enough of Human World and run home or something?"

His friend made a choking noise. "_Hardly. _I told him to go." Was Yusuke so naïve?

Apparently. Giving him a confounded look, the brunette asked, "What happened?"

Kurama adjusted the heat of the front burner, and then turned around and looked at him with a sober, painfully drawn face. "I must admit," the Kitsune said quietly, "I'm rather astonished by Hiei's tolerance of his human surroundings. Part of me wonders just how long he would have held out. But it would have made him wholly miserable eventually. It'd have been unfair of me to keep him tethered here"—Should he be so open with this information?—"out of his sense of obligation toward me."

Catching on, Yusuke stared at him, curious, concerned. "So you two—?"

Allowing a little heartbreak to bleed through his composure, Kurama finished his thought with the wavering confirmation: "Broke up."

* * *

Hiei might have protested that term. It sounded so mutual. He'd felt the impulse to beg, but Kurama was so resolved to "relieve" him, to "liberate" him from the "burden" that he had taken on himself. Kurama could cope with what had happened and the aftermath alone now. He could return to living for himself; no need to harbor guilty thoughts; no hard feelings.

And yet the crushing sadness the Jagan had detected from Kurama's parting kiss did nothing to "relieve" or "liberate" him. Surely Kurama must have thought that severing their relationship was the solution to the problematic terms on which Hiei had started it (in _one_ light). Ending it was in Hiei's best interest, best for Hiei's "welfare," Hiei was free now…

As was typical, his two natural eyes couldn't detect anything from Tomonari today, and he was too wary of the latter's endowments to try the Jagan. No way was he about to enable anyone to read his current emotional state, let alone someone like that. But the mind reader simply stared down stoically at the article that Botan had brought, and after a moment or two thanked her before withdrawing from them, clutching the article tightly but carefully in one hand.

He had seen it prior to the handover. A simple snapshot taken in Ganderra of a young seal-eyed girl with sable hair. The resemblance was obvious even if the relationship wasn't stated. Most importantly, according to the prisoner in Alaric, it meant that the girl in Ganderra had survived and continued to survive. The boundary that existed now between Tomonari and Michiko was an asset, or so said the former, because it decreased the likelihood of her ever seeing, of ever knowing. For Hiei it was like an unsettling echo.

For Botan, it was a concept that she couldn't grasp, and so an annoyance. "Is he dying or something?" Hiei shook his head No. "But he can't be content, no matter what he says—"

"If you've never even considered making such a decision then you should shut up," Hiei interjected in his usual gruffness. Still, though—"The mind reader annoys me sometimes. It'd be unfriendly to screw Yomi with a similar headache, since they're related." Botan looked at him curiously. "There has to be someplace more appropriate…"

In a different light, he had agreed to a relationship that _Kurama_ had initiated with that other kiss. Now that it had ended, Hiei didn't feel "free." Instead, he felt like a ship drifting without its anchor, or a kite cut off from its string.

* * *

Yusuke couldn't grasp Kurama's actions, nor could the majority of his other friends. "I don't get it," Kuwabara said after finding out. "I thought you loved him?"

"I do," Kurama replied, sitting almost bent over in his seat. The noise of customers and the kitchen below rose up through the floor, yet he felt quite isolated. "And that's why I did it." He waited for the usual reaction.

"… I don't get it," Kuwabara repeated.

Their confusion was strangely, mildly amusing. Trying not to smile, he admitted that: "It's very complex. Hiei—I don't think that Hiei fully gets it, either."

"You were planning this for a while, huh?" Yusuke had asked, piecing together things that he had said before.

It sounded so calculative. "I struggled with it, if that's what you mean."

He knew they wouldn't, but still he tried to get them to at least partially understand. He might have been more successful is he'd shared a few key details with them, but some things they just didn't need to know. And so he did his work downstairs and mulled over things upstairs, and after a while didn't say much about it anymore.

"Are you looking to make a career out of this?' Yusuke asked him one morning. "I mean it's kind of weird having you work for us—and rent from us…"

Shiori and Kazuya had made it more than clear that the house was open to him, even his place at the company is he so wanted. He immediately shied from the latter offer. Gross displays of nepotism aside, Hiei had been right about the job and its impact on him. Regarding the other offer, he had politely but emphatically told them that moving back in would be inauspicious. Besides, he spent most of his evenings over there, so they were hardly estranged.

"No," Kurama answered, thumbing through the phone directory. "Kuwabara, what are you doing this afternoon?"

Though no estrangement existed between his family and him, the same couldn't be said regarding his and Hiei's situation. After announcing his breaking it off, Kurama couldn't withstand his friend's gaze, and went out for a long walk. When he returned, as expected, Hiei was gone. He cleaned out the apartment himself, and set aside some items that he thought would interest the Jaganshi. They hadn't been returned since he'd had them sent on to Alaric, which he chose to interpret positively. Since Hiei's flight, though, he'd neither seen nor heard from the smaller demon and it'd been some time…

* * *

Kurama had employed drink when their relationship failed to protect him from feelings of isolation. Hiei chose now to get drunk in a different way, on the adrenaline that surged through him after the fights he got in. Of course, Mukuro would not tolerate him starting a bloodbath in her Keep, but when even the most minor disciplines needed enforcing, when someone trained, or just wanted to spar, Hiei became the demon to call.

"Do you imagine his face when you look at the other guy?" Mukuro had asked nonchalantly one day.

No way had she expected an actual answer, probably only to rile him. She succeeded—he gave her a Look that might possibly have killed someone weaker, and disappeared to somewhere far away from the Keep for a few weeks.

Grudgingly, he admitted toward the end of his hermitage that he probably wouldn't have felt free to skulk and brood like this, had he still had that specific bond in the Ningenkai. No, now instead he could come and go as he pleased without having to take anyone else in consideration, drift, like he used to before—.

Wait: even if Kurama had pushed him away, there was still someone else…

* * *

For once Kurama hadn't opened kitchen before Yusuke arrived in the morning. In fact, he didn't see his employee—that _still _felt fucked up—anywhere; must still be sleeping upstairs… "Yo Fox-boy," he bellowed up from the landing. "It's almost seven." No answer, though he did hear footsteps.

Wait. He screwed up his face and listened closer. _Multiple _footsteps; someone else was up there with Kurama.

The door opened. One step, then another. Those weren't Kurama's shoes. About halfway down he could see their owner's face.

"_Mitarai?_"

Blue eyes widened a little, startled. "Oh—Hey, Yusuke," the boy known under some circumstances as "Sea Man" said after a moment.

He wasn't just startled. Yusuke noted his tousled hair and wrinkled clothes. "Good morning," the brunette murmured. "Your shoe's untied."

"Huh—Oh. Thanks." The blonde bent over to fix it. "Long time no see, huh?" he said when he straightened back up. Yusuke nodded slowly. Readjusting his clothes and the bag slung over one shoulder, he quickly continued, "I'll try to come around more; I can't believe it's been so long since I've seen most of you guys."

Most? Well, Kuwabara hung out with him sometimes. "Yeah, well—I'm here everyday, usually."

"Yeah." As an afterthought he ran a hand through his hair as thought trying to flatten it. "Well I've got to get going, so…"

Yusuke nodded. "Later." Watching Mitarai exit out the back, he turned around as he heard a second person descent the stairs, more awake and organized looking than the first had been. "Morning," he said to Kurama. "So—You and Mitarai were together last night?"

"Mm-hm," Kurama affirmed, pulling out pans. And then, detecting something in Yusuke's tone, he turned around and studied the brunette's face, and bristled a little. "_Studying_," he elaborated brusquely.

"I didn't say anything!"

* * *

Hiei winced, and shielded his eyes from the sunlight. Time to change positions.

"Oh!" Yukina let out as he landed on the porch with a loud _thud_. "Oh, did you have a nice nap, Hiei?"

He answered her with an ambiguous grunt, and looked around. "Where did your new one go?"

She pointed toward the evergreens. "I gave her some birdseed."

The Jaganshi looked. A little brunette girl among the tree trunks, throwing the aforementioned seed like rice at a wedding. Several small takers already gathered in the grass near her feet. Not the migraine that he'd described before, but certainly more appropriately placed here than in Ganderra or elsewhere in Makai.

Of course, he'd rather keep company with her brother in his prison. Tomonari was subdued, whereas the child might burst out thoughts Hiei preferred to keep private.

"Um, Hiei?"

Reaching out one smooth pale hand, she put something in his roughened tanned one. "I thought that this might go with your necklace better than the rope does," she said timidly.

For a moment he tensed, thinking that she had glimpsed the twin to her own stone. But no, just the little red pouch he'd taken to wearing. She'd given him a braided cord of a similar color, which did match better than the piece of rope it was currently strung on. "… Thanks," he managed, unsure of what to say.

She had never asked anything about Kurama and him. It was kind of nice being around someone who did not know, and did not pry to know.

And suddenly: "Oh, Hiei…" she said, looking past him with an uncertain face. Curious, he turned around.

Fuck. 'Kurama.'

The Fox stared, obviously surprised to see him there. Lips parted as though to say something.

"Hello, Kurama," Yukina greeted.

"… Yukina," Kurama returned. "I had come because I heard about Tomonari's…"

"Sister," he supplied, staring off at the oblivious Michiko, rather than look at Kurama.

"I-Is that what she is?"

Instead of answering, Hiei jumped up onto the railing. "I should go. Mosquitoes are attracted to dark fabrics, and I've already been bitten."

"Oh—Okay, Hiei," said the ice maiden. Kurama said nothing.

Not looking over his shoulder for one last view, he replied with a casual "Goodbye, Yukina" before leaving sister and ex-lover for the wind.

After he was gone, Yukina gave Kurama a conflicted look, unsure of what to say.

"It's okay," he told her. "Does Hiei visit you often now?"

"Well, sort of. He comes and offers to do things like chop wood and pull water, and then he stays around for a while after."

Hiei's musculature looked more developed, Kurama noticed. The male Koorime must be keeping busy at home. Life in Makai, after all, was generally more rigorous than here. "Between him and Kuwabara, you must not want much in the way of house help. I'm sorry if I drove him away."

"He always leaves abruptly," Yukina excused.

There was a sniff. Michiko was approaching them, holding one hand to her head and looking quite discomforted. Headache, Kurama assumed, if she was like Tomonari. "Put lavender oil on her temples," he told Yukina, in case she didn't already know. And then he withdrew, afraid that his present composition might only inflame the child's affliction.

* * *

Once or twice more the pair encountered near-collisions; one or the other always managed to alter the situation so that they might escape each other. Anyone present during these occurrences knew better than to say much about it. Kurama always gave those around him a look of reassurance, and afterwards never made any indication of whether or not what had transpired left an imprint.

Hiei never discussed these encounters with anyone, but didn't pretend to let them roll off. In fact, he sometimes followed Kurama from a distance. He had no desire to speak with the Fox, just to observe. It wasn't stalking; he never masked his energy; Kurama must have known full well that he wasn't alone.

But Kurama never acknowledged him.

His stomach churned the first time he perched on the telephone pole outside the ramen house early in the morning. He'd known for a while that this was where Kurama was living, above the shop. (Kurama was right: he did do many things that made no sense to the Jaganshi.) To Hiei's knowledge the redhead was the only one to claim the eatery as a residence.

And yet some mornings, he saw other people leaving the establishment long before opening time. He identified Kiyoshi Mitarai, and Yu Kaito; as time passed there were several other humans as well, whom he didn't recognize. It made him nauseous.

… Of course, Kurama wasn't necessarily letting any of these humans do _that _with him. But even prior to the kiss, Hiei would linger nearby and might even spend the night. Each other had been the only one that other would pass the night with. Now Hiei would sometimes catch himself in the dark, awake and lonely.

* * *

"So," Kurama said, stirring his tea, "who's Tamiko?"

"_HUH?_" croaked Shuichi, eyes mimicking saucers.

The redhead smiled wryly. "The girl whose name was written in the margins of your trig notes."

"Oh. Um…" His brother stared down at his food, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

Kurama's smile broadened. "I see; is she a classmate?" Shuichi nodded. "And how long—?"

"Since September," his brother muttered, fully red in the face now. Suddenly: "It's too bad you're not seeing anyone right now."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Why?"

"Just … Tamiko's a yaoi fan—Are you okay?"

Looking at Shuichi through watery eyes, he finished coughing, took a drink of tea, and nodded. "I'm fine." Smirking, he added, "I apologize for being unable to fulfill your girlfriend's idiosyncrasy. She's not the only one disappointed with my being single—"

Shuichi jumped as a shadow suddenly fell over their table. "What the…?" he managed, looking up. The sky over the restaurant was perfectly clear.

"A large bird, perhaps," Kurama rationalized, draining his soup.

* * *

Hiei opted to gamble one night after the first snow fall. He'd actually spent the day seeing to Genkai's and Yukina's firewood, and had only gone into the city after. Kurama lived alone now, after all. Someone had to stop by, just in case the Fox had succumbed to one of those ailments common to the winter.

He hadn't expected to find a partially open window on the second floor of the ramen house.

It was located furthest away from where Kurama and his things resided. Hiei quietly closed the distance and perched on a chair back, studying the occupant of the nearby bed.

Kurama slept peacefully under several blankets. The only body part Hiei could see at first was the Fox's head, surrounded by red hair that fell this way or that over the pillow. He'd never seen his friend sleep so soundly when they were together; perhaps Kurama really was recovering.

Venturing closer, he realized that one of Kurama's shoulders was naked. _Moron_, he thought. This and the open window—was Kurama trying to get sick? 'Haven't you had enough of that?' he chastised, adjusting the covers to fix it.

Green eyes opened up and looked at him. He took a step backward and froze, unsure of how his friend might react.

Perhaps it was a waking sleep. Whatever the case, Kurama sat up a little and watched him intently for several moments. Hiei felt like his gaze was locked in place by those eyes. He was only able to divert it after they shut again, and his comrade rolled over and slept once more.

Hiei wondered if the night was too far progressed to take up Yukina's offer to sleep at the temple.


	28. Chapter XXVIII

**A/N: **I considered this an auspicious day to post this chapter, as it is the final one. Once you reach the end this time, it's finished, and there'll be no more. I thank everyone for reading and reviewing, and I hope that this concluding chapter is satisfactory.

* * *

"**Remembering is the crime to which I cannot plead innocent." Genji, in Murasaki Shikibu's **_**The Tale of Genji.**_

Was It Out of Pity?  
Chapter XXVIII  
December 31, 2007

Hiei suppressed a grimace at the harsh cacophony of Tomonari's coughing. The mind reader had passed the last few days in bed, almost too weak to sit up. He tended to the sick demon—even if Tomonari read something off of him, the former was in no position to make unwanted commentary. Besides, Hiei's motives were more vicarious than anything else.

Kurama had fallen ill mid-winter. Hiei saw it coming; it announced itself in the Fox's fatigued countenance and trembling frame, before taking him to bed. Several days passed where he was even unconscious. Hiei lingered nearby always, and would have come to Kurama's bedside, had it not been constantly occupied by other friends and family. Consequently, he'd had to content himself with holding vigil on nearby telephone poles and rooftops.

"Drink it," Hiei said, both as instruction and emphatic impatience, as he passed a vial of medicine to Tomonari, who betrayed a nauseated look.

Stimulated perhaps by an annoyed pair of red eyes, Tomonari obeyed. After several expressions of varied disgust played across his face, he inquired in a raspy voice: "How does the humans' winter affect Michiko?"

There was a subtle tone of gratitude in the mind reader's tone that Hiei tried to ignore. "The season's ending in that area. If she did get sick, it wasn't so bad that I noticed. Yukina takes care of her."

"Yukina is an ice maiden," remarked his patient. Narrowing his eyes—he had never voiced any information about her—, he nodded. "And—_your _sister."

He decided to let his face express his vexation, and noted to mix a sedative into Tomonari's next dosage.

When he left the mind reader's sick chamber he kept the door open, thinking that exposure to the springtime air and sun might be curative. He took a breath, and detected the perfume of lilac and iris.

The plants conjured up nostalgia.

* * *

There was a crash. "Aw sh—crap," Yusuke caught himself. Just because he couldn't see the customers didn't mean that they couldn't hear him. Groaning in pain, he whined, "_Keiko_, the door's broken…"

"_Idiot._"

"Huh?" Craning his neck, he jumped to his feet when he saw who stood in the doorway.

"Perhaps if you swept the debris off your step more frequently, you'd be less inclined to slip and fall, Detective." Hiei scrutinized the broken hinge on the door. "You'll be less likely to be robbed if you repair that, too," he added boredly.

"_Thanks _for pointing that out, three-eyes." And then he glanced over his shoulder, at the person currently taking orders behind the counter. No one had come in while gravity made him a fool, and so Kurama had been free to observe the entire exchange. "Um…" He looked back at the injured door. "There's a hardware store down the street; I could probably be there and back in fifteen minutes."

Kurama, who this entire time had been staring absently at Hiei, suddenly regained lucidity, and shifted his gaze to Yusuke. "What?"

"Time me," Yusuke said as he flung off his apron and set out the door—rapidly executing a turn-about when it occurred to him that his wallet wasn't on him. "Remind me to pay this back later," he said to Kurama as he took money out of the cash register. The Fox watched the transaction with a blank look on his face.

After Yusuke had gone for real, he busied himself with writing up the dinner menu. This meant, whether he intended it or not, turning his back on Hiei.

The Koorime was unaffected. He approached the counter and took a seat opposite Kurama. "You moved," he said.

"Are you going to order something?"

Hiei threw some money in front of the redhead. "Coffee."

Kurama stepped into the kitchen to relay this, but tensed as he became aware of three guilty-looking pairs of eyes avoiding contact with his. Frowning, he poured the cup himself, and sternly informed the eyes' owners that Hiei and he were not a spectacle.

"Who's back there?" Hiei asked, when Kurama returned to his line of vision, though he knew already.

"Keiko and Kuwabara and Botan," Kurama answered, though he knew that Hiei knew already.

The smaller demon snorted. "The dumbass always did run his mouth like a woman."

"_HEY!_" The door to the kitchen flew open as the offended carrot top lurched out. Kurama watched wide-eyed and Hiei languidly while their female companions leaned out and (with some difficulty) pulled him back out of sight. (Both shot Hiei Looks conveying their own displeasure with his comment, as they did so. He was unmoved.)

"Kuwabara, quit upsetting my customers!" Yusuke was back, new hinges in hand and an annoyed look on his face.

Kurama sighed, as Yusuke's bellowing was no better. "It's probably half-cold now," he lamented to Hiei, as he remembered and set down the coffee. The Jaganshi sipped it silently, while Kurama busied himself with apologizing to the shop's present patrons for both the initial and consequential upsets. Hiei wondered if the intentions that his companion had given him before for working here had shown any fruition yet. He admitted that Yusuke did actually display a little more maturity in the human workplace—although that may have been more pathetic than an accomplishment, considering how it was a likely result of the efforts of Keiko and Kurama daily, and of the shop's silent partner, Shizuru, in the background. All that aside, Hiei thought that the shopkeeper's hat looked ridiculous on Kurama's head, and deliberated telling him so.

This idea was interrupted when he found the seat beside his suddenly occupied by Yusuke. "I hear you've been spending time nursing a sick demon in Mukuro's fortress." Hiei didn't dignify this with a response. "I've seen his little sisters up at Grandma's a few times; is he better?" A grunt. Yusuke stretched out his legs and crossed them at the ankles. "I caught something myself not long ago. I kinda felt bad afterward because then Keiko and Fox-boy both got it"—he noticed the muscles of Hiei's arm nearest him tense up a little—"and they were out longer than I was." Hiei muttered something under his breath. "What was that?"

"Why didn't you take him to a hospital?"

"Oh, Keiko pulled through just fine, thanks for asking."

"Are you all morons?" Hiei snapped. ("That's what you tell us," replied Yusuke.) "Why did you stand by and let him _lie there _when he lost consciousness?"

"So that was _you _living on the roof across the alley," declared Yusuke with a smirk. Hiei bristled. "If he had actually lost consciousness, of course I would have called an ambulance. He was feeling really shitty, so he took some plant thing to help him sleep it off." Grinning at the look on Hiei's face, he said, "Don't worry so much."

Hiei wasn't paying attention. He was too busy feeling pissed with himself for having allowed other to take notice of his watch. "I'm through here," he grumbled, downing the remnants of his coffee and deserting Yusuke before the latter had time to comment.

(He glanced at Kurama on his way out; but it appeared that the dinner rush had just begun, and the Fox didn't look up from his work.)

The last hours before closing passed so busily that no one working was able to conduct a true conversation. Kurama was readying to leave when Yusuke caught up to him. "So you and Hiei talked?"

"Some." The redhead discarded his work hat and combed a few fingers through his hair. Yusuke tried not to stare, and asked, "Did he know you moved?"

"Apparently." Had he not left the new address where Hiei might find it? Not that he really thought that Hiei had ever needed much help in locating him. "Yusuke?"

"Yeah?"

"You need to pay back the register," he said before shutting the door behind him.

As he'd expected, he hadn't gone a block before an unseen but very familiar presence joined him.

* * *

Kurama must have known he was being shadowed. But Hiei had trailed him for a near half hour, and he had yet to acknowledge the Koorime's presence.

Thirty minutes, and the span spent waiting on Kurama, had given Hiei plenty of time to brood himself into a stormy state of mind. His thoughts had unfurled backward from his stand over his companion's sickbed. He found himself stuck on the occasion of the open window. He'd been in Kurama's room, by Kurama's bed, the fucking Fox had looked _right at him_—and he'd been snubbed…

Was this—yes, he recognized the address. Kurama was going to go inside and close the door on him, like he wasn't even out here.

However, Hiei had progressed from hurt to pissed, and he decided it was time to share his feelings with his friend.

There was the sound of something cutting the air. Kurama promptly whirled around. Sparks flew out orange and yellow in the dusk as rosewhip and katana collided. The sword ricocheted and lodged itself into the trunk of the tree by the street, about five feet below where Hiei stood on a branch. It was still intact; just as Hiei had aimed to the side of Kurama, the Kitsune hadn't retaliated with full force. "Well," said the latter calmly, "you have my attention, Hiei."

The demon of that name jumped down and retrieved the katana from its arborous sheath. Giving the one who put it there a hard look, Hiei replied with a curt "Finally."

They stared at each other for several minutes, until the inquiry from a passing a car as to if everything was okay diverted their match. Kurama sent it off with assurances, and then refocused on the Jaganshi. "Unless you strongly desire someone looking out the window and calling the police on your suspicious figure, I suggest that you either leave or come inside with me."

Despite himself, Hiei was a little surprised with the invitation, but quickly (though nonchalantly) accepted it. "If you really need a perch in the future," Kurama said, walking to the back, "I would think that this would be more convenient." He opened the backdoor, and stepped aside so that Hiei might see. This "more convenient" "perch" was a tall, broad tree, with branches that cast serpentine patterns of shadow over the house and yard. The Koorime stared at it, then took a closer look, then smirked and said:

"Toguro."

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Aren't you supposed to take special notice where plants are concerned? Look at the juncture of the branches."

He did, and after a moment saw the cause for Hiei's strange remark: a small, spindly conifer, growing up where the deciduous branches grew out. "Fancy that," he murmured, hitting the light switch. The kitchen immediately brightened.

"Will this home last longer?" Hiei inquired mildly.

"If things go as planned," answered Kurama in a similar tone. "From here it isn't an extraordinary distance to a few universities."

"_More _school?"

"I have the means; I may as well experiment with it. My parents are happy with the possibility." Not that he minded examining options outside the office building and the ramen house either.

The Koorime looked thoughtful, and then commented, "At least if it's a short distance you car won't suffer."

"Hah," replied Kurama dryly. "I forgot to ask earlier: Did you receive the things I sent?"

Hiei nodded. "The things, and the things within the things."

"Pardon?" Hiei removed his newer neck adornment and tossed it to Kurama. The Kitsune caught it, and looked over it closely. A small pouch of red silk strung on a red string. He opened it and saw the contents inside: a handful of Sakura flowers that he had pressed in the pages of Poe before sending it on to Hiei. "I—I had wanted for us to go see them," he murmured. "Last Spring…"

"Then why didn't we?" Kurama just shook his head and placed the pouch in Hiei's hand. Hiei looked at it, and then at his friend. "It's Spring now, isn't it?"

"It is."

The Jaganshi replaced the silken red token around his neck. "Then why don't we go see them this time?"

Evidently Kurama was taken aback by this question. "There's a … There's a custom pertaining to—"

"I know," was the flat interruption.

Silence. Kurama coughed, and moved to the refrigerator. "Would you like anything to drink?" Hiei declined. Instead, he watched warily while the Fox poured himself a drink colored red. Soon his observation was noticed. A perplexed Kurama inquired "What?" before seeing just where his suspicious gaze rested. He then received a peeved look. "It's _juice_," said his friend tartly, offering him the accused drink to taste. He did—and instantly pulled a face.

"It's bitter."

"It's healthful," Kurama argued, sipping it. Hiei meanwhile scraped his tongue against his teeth, trying to eliminate the aftertaste. Almost as an afterthought, the redhead commented mildly: "You've acquired an interesting manner of greeting since I saw you last."

Scowling, Hiei retorted with: "Is yours doing nothing?"

Kurama shrugged. "I didn't know you wanted me to call you out; it always annoyed you before. You should have said something." Hiei's scowl deepened. "I've been on my feet all day. Would you sit down with me?" Without waiting on his answer Kurama retired to the couch. He joined him, though he sat sullenly at the opposite arm. Some television program was on, but he wasn't paying much attention.

To him the shows bled into each other. Consequently, he had no idea how much time had passed before Kurama startled him to attention by saying, a touch of wistfulness to his voice, "I've missed you." He actually jumped, and to his frustration felt his face grow hot. "Does that embarrass you, Hiei?"

"Wh—Why should I give a damn if you've missed me or not?" he snapped. "Since _you _sent _me _awa—."

He stopped; Kurama's end of the couch was flanked by a table with a lamp on it. "What the…?" His friend gave him a curious look as he edged closer and stared. Something about the way the light played off the Kitsune's hair. Hiei widened his eyes when he realized what he was seeing. "What the hell?"

"It's silver," said Kurama flatly, referring to the glimmering strands spread among the red.

Hiei gawked at it. "When did this happen?" he managed, reaching forward.

Pulling away from his hand, the Fox answered nonchalantly: "Gradually. Perhaps over this last year. I don't know what caused it." Hiei suspected, and felt sick a little. Something must have given him away. "Don't be so self-absorbed," Kurama told him with a slight smirk. "Besides, it's nowhere near the amount of silver I used to have. I hadn't even noticed it until recently."

Suddenly it stood out to painfully that Hiei had to work not to continue staring. "… I've missed you, too," he finally confessed. Kurama received this mutely. "Anyone I've been close to recently, I've either drawn blood from or put to sleep."

His friend laughed. He hadn't realized how much he had missed that sound. "But have you forgotten Yukina?"

His eyebrow twitched. "No." He shifted seating; his lips contorted thoughtfully. He gave Kurama a solemn look. "I'm—." His throat felt funny; he coughed. "I'm going to tell her."

There was a sputtering noise as the Fox choked a little on his juice. "_What?_"

"I'm going to tell her," Hiei repeated. "Your friend's adamancy annoys even me at times; I understand your position a little more now." Kurama stared at him thoughtfully. "I don't know when I'll do it," he continued, "yes, but I will."

The stare persisted, then gave way to a little smile. "Annoyances can sometimes grant us perspective." Hiei didn't comment. "Don't worry over her reaction; I'm sure that she'll be too ecstatic to dwell much on your past." He snorted. "Hiei." Kurama moved closer and touched his shoulder. "She knows already that you're not immaculate. Knowing that she and you have a closer relationship than she presently thinks probably won't alter it for the worse."

Kurama's gaze was too intense. Hiei averted his eyes. "Thanks for your assurances," he murmured uncomfortably. Desiring to change the subject, he observed, "Your defense was swift out there. I was a little surprised."

"Why would you be? I spar with Kuwabara, and sometimes even Yusuke, when I have time. Although," he added casually, "it doesn't quite compare with when _we _would spar, even if that hasn't been for a while."

Hiei flexed his toes, and watched the material of his boots shift with the movement. "I won't be blamed for you becoming a sedentary human," he replied. "When you want someone to remind you that you're a demon…"

"I've not forgotten—But whenever you want evidence…"

"Fine." He glanced outside. Dark already, and clouds covered up the moon. "Another time, I suppose." He rose, made for the backdoor—.

"You're not going out there."

He turned and raised an eyebrow at Kurama. "_Excuse me?_"

If he said anything after, it was lost in the explosion of thunder that followed. It, and the accompanying lightshow, was enough to make even him flinch a little. "You evidently weren't paying attention when I had the weather forecast on earlier," said Kurama stoically. Hiei case him a disgruntled look. He shrugged defensively. "Neither of us can control the weather, but this isn't the worst place to pass a storm." The Koorime wore the same expression, but didn't argue, and reclaimed his place on the couch. "Now what would you like for dinner, Hiei, unless you would like to cook?"

A snort. "I'm not cooking you anything. You're going to make it up to me for months of the cold shoulder and almost breaking my blade."

Kurama smirked. "I'll just disregard the fact that you were throwing it at _me_; perhaps impaling me once wasn't enough?"

"Hn. You impaled yourself, as far as I'm concerned."

Suppressing a laugh, Kurama walked around the room and cracked open several windows. The breeze came in clean and sweet. It was Spring, the season of rebirth and opportunity anew.

"Hiei, I know a possible sparring location; you recall the secluded part of the park, by the Sakura tree…?"

--

**End.**

* * *

I don't know if everyone will enjoy this ending. In fact, I'm fairly sure that not everyone will. But this is the sort of ending I've planned since early in this story's devising, and I hope that I executed it well. Those who were around when I first posted this story's opening chapter, or even quite recently, can see the rework, sometimes in extremity, I've done to most of the story. The same theme remains, but after nearly three years at work on this I'd like to think that my characterization has improved, and so lets us hope that this final version is all in all more fluid and IC. (Kurama especially can be a bitch to characterize at times. I blame it on his frequent ambiguity, but then that's one of the traits that make me like him so much.)

And now, this ending. I didn't want one of those Everything's resolved and it's all going to be OK! type of conclusions. Don't be mistaken; those are fine too, and I do enjoy them. However, I also appreciate those sort of open endings where there is a degree of uncertainty. Mainly this concerns their present relationship: romantic again? platonic? It is interesting to entertain different notions. Regardless of the precise nature, I do think that there would still be a very intimate element, much like in the show itself.

So this conclusion may in a respect be a non-conclusion. And yet, perhaps the ambiguity is appropriate, considering the nature of our main characters, no?

12:39 pm Central Standard Time  
New Year's Eve, 2007


End file.
